I woke up panting heavily, throat raw from a scream, with sweat soaking my sheets and my pyjamas. My eyes automatically tracked left and saw the glowing, red digits of my alarm clock. I let out a groan and sagged in bed. Back again. I rose and tore my pyjamas off. I couldn't handle that cold, clammy feeling pressed against my skin. Not anymore. I strode to the bathroom and toweled myself until I felt dry; I didn't dare get in the shower. Instead I went back to my room and sat on my unbroken chair. Staring at nothing in the darkness of my room.

All I need is kill, huh? Well, at least I had a bit longer to prepare, to train. I rubbed the back of my head, wincing at a phantom wound. My fingers came away clean. How had that happened? I'd been getting good at controlling my projection, why had it suddenly failed me?

The durability limit, of course. My projection had been following my will exactly, protecting me. Whatever I'd struck hit me hard enough that it broke through somehow. God dammit, I wasn't invincible. I mean, fucking duh but it sucked that my projection had a limit. It was just dog-shit Siberian, with no range, no strength, and no durability.

So what in the fucking, shitting hell was I going to do against waterbending Godzilla? Kill myself, probably. Well, no, he'd fucking take care of that like he'd been already. Get god damn thrown soul first into some poor kid in Brockton Bay with the worst superpowers besides Leet's, and his were actively trying to murder him.

Well...I could do something. I had been moving that big guy before getting swamped, and if Taylor hadn't been a fucking asshole we probably could have saved him. Bitch. I'd have done the same if I couldn't do anything though so...yeah. She was a bitch and I was too. I sighed and scratched the back of my head.

Okay so something. Recovery maybe, but I was kind of slow. Until I figured out how to move people around with my power, or things generally beyond picking them up, I was stuck as a glorified crane. So search and rescue, easy. But that all came after the monster was gone, or dead. So until then...what?

Wait it out in the shelter, like a civilian. That was the realistic option. I had no experience and a poor power for dealing with threats like Endbringers. Like Panacea, waiting in relative safety and helping where or if I could. It was...cowardly, yes, but I wasn't made like a fighter. Not here anyway. I slumped in the chair. I...didn't want to hide, it wasn't me. But I wasn't me right now, not really anyway. I was Amelia D'souza,

And I guess I was a coward.

I sighed. Maybe after the fighting I could make up for this. Yeah. Search and rescue was still valuable, it would still save lives. I knew my projection could stand up to a bit, so I'd be safer doing it than most. It was just a matter of surviving the next seventy-two hours. I could do that, I'd been doing that my whole life.

Damn, this sucked. I forced myself to rise and turn on the lamp. I went to the closet and grabbed a warm, blue sweater and the familiar sweatpants. Nice. Definitely better than the cold and wet. With that I headed upstairs and started brewing a pot of coffee, enough for two. Minutes later, Mom trudged downstairs, bleary eyed and frowning.

“Coffee,” I said flatly, handing her a mug with the same helping of cream and sugar I usually had.

“I take mine black,” she said, curling her lip. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“Humour me,” I replied, pushing it closer. “Not going to bite you.”

“I don't...” Her eyes flicked down and she glared at the cup a moment before grabbing it from me. “Fine.” She took a sip and I saw her eyes widen, just slightly. “It's...not bad.” I hid a grin behind my own cup as I took a seat at the island.

We shared a quiet moment, simply enjoying our drinks as the glow of the sun suffused the kitchen. It was...actually kind of nice. She left me alone soon enough, apologizing that I'd have to take the bus. I assured her it was fine, like it always was, and was once again left with the house to myself and a decision to make.

School. It sucked. I screwed up there the first time, bad enough to out myself. It was the haunt of the Dallon sisters, half the Wards, and probably more that I didn't know about besides. I wasn't going to learn anything of value there, if anything it was only going to take away valuable time that I could spend training.

On the other hand, skipping clearly wasn't an option, not this time around anyway. Just because I'd been able to handle it before didn't mean I would on this go-round. I had only handled it well because I knew exactly what would happen the next day, that it was totally irrelevant and destined to be forgotten.

That was, in a way, still the case. I knew I could get away with an absence today, since Mom wouldn't exactly be in a state to deal with it tonight. The awkward conversation the next day would still result in Leviathan attacking the city a day later. But if that was true, then why bother going to class at all if it was all for nothing?

Because it was a nice distraction, really. I couldn't do anything useful with my powers, and definitely couldn't figure out what I needed in two days. So training was pointless and I needed something to do in the coming days. School was also a fairly useless way to spend the time, but maybe I could actually learn something if I tried to pay attention for once.

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And the sisters...well, that hadn't gone bad, except for my mistake with the sewing machine. I just had to be more careful this time. Besides, Amy was the only one I'd probably encounter. I wasn't planning to stand, gaping in the middle of the courtyard like a twit again. Probably wouldn't go up to the roof for lunch either.

And Amy and I wouldn't really talk all that much. The only words we'd exchanged had been about classwork, basically. I wasn't exactly looking to socialize either. I knew things about her I really shouldn't, and definitely didn't want to bring up by mistake. Just because I hadn't so far meant nothing to future me.

School. Ugh. Fine, I couldn't really do much else so fine. I'd make up for my failings later, for now I had a bus to catch. I trotted downstairs and grabbed my bag. I headed to the door, then paused and doubled back to the kitchen. I checked the fridge, finding a couple doughnuts and grabbing them. Everything else needed prep or didn't look appealing so...cool.

I headed out the door and sighed quietly as I began walking up the street. The way the sun warmed me, under my heavier clothing, felt like a blanket. My power added to the feeling, and I felt like I could really relax. Considering the future, that seemed strange but in a way, it made a lot of sense.

I finally knew what I was doing. The last two times I'd gone in with no plan and paid for it with my life. But now I knew exactly what was in store for me: a terrifying experience sheltering from a monster attack. Considering I'd already seen him face-to-face, I could probably handle just hanging out for a while and hoping the pumps kept going.

So...yeah, a plan. Shitty as it was, it was frankly more than I'd had either time before. Once the immediate crisis was past, I could think about the future again. I let out a long breath and hopped on the bus as it arrived. As usual, I headed to the back and stared out the window as it took me on my way.

At one point, we were passed by a trio of PRT vans going the other way. Oh, they'd been there the first day too. I hadn't realized what they were at the time, but it was obvious in retrospect. Where were they going in such a hurry, and with so many cops? I thought the Empire was basically dead at this point, and the Undersiders didn't do the gallery raid in the morning.

I couldn't think of anything else going on with this little time between now and...then. Of course this was Brockton Bay, it wasn't like there weren't other crimes going on. Maybe the Merchants were getting uppity with the bigger gangs more occupied, or maybe Circus was causing trouble. At least it didn't involve me. I settled back in my seat and tried to just enjoy the scenery as it passed.

Before long, we'd made it and I was off the bus and away to...math class. Fuck, maybe I should have stayed home today. Oh well, it wasn't like I needed to worry about a letter-grade anymore. I walked into class before the first bell and went straight to the back. I took out my textbook and just pretended I was actually paying attention when the teacher came in and got right to it.

It dragged on but finally, mercifully, came to an end. Despite a cup of coffee earlier, I was already feeling tired. Dammit. Well, I'd push through the chemistry experiment next class and get something at lunch. Surely I had some kind of allowance to use, I had a wallet at least. No clue how much was inside, but surely coffee would be cheap.

I walked into the lab with a yawn, taking the seat at the back. A minute after the bell, Amy came into class and proceeded to join me. Again. It shouldn't feel weird, I was repeating days after all, and yet... Whatever, I could handle it just like last time. I pulled out my book and took a minute to find the appropriate chapter. Not long after, there was a tap on my shoulder.

“Hey,” Amy said. “Guess we're working together.”

“Guess so,” I replied evenly. Right, this was the first time... “I'm Lia. You?”

“Amy,” she said simply. “You uh...you know what's going on with this?” I nodded.

“Yeah,” I said with a shrug. “It's not too bad.” She sighed as she pulled out a thermos.

“Okay cool,” she replied as she unscrewed the lid. I caught the hint of slightly sweet, creamy coffee.

“Hey uh,” I started, then paused. Was this weird? “Stop me if this is weird.” Problem solved. “Can I...have some?” Amy blinked at me.

“Like, my coffee?” I nodded. Another blink, and a glance at her thermos. Then a sigh. “Sure, why not? Got a mug?” I grimaced and shook my head.

She shrugged and I huffed, walking away to get the glassware we needed to do our titration. Doing it without coffee was going to be annoying, but I had managed last time. While grabbing the glassware, on a whim, I took a spare beaker and headed to the sink at the back. I made sure to wash it thoroughly, then sat back at the desk. I pushed the makeshift cup over to Amy as I started setting things up.

“Is that...” Amy paused and gave me a look. “Are you good? It seems like a pretty stupid idea to drink of out lab glass.” I shrugged.

“I washed it,” I replied simply. “It's not like we're working with bromine or something. I'll be fine.” She rolled her eyes.

“And if not, I guess the great Panacea can always heal you,” Amy groused sarcastically.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “If not then I get a little sick and learn my lesson. Why would you have to heal that?” Her eyes narrowed.

“Because that's poisoning?” She said, cocking her head. “And because you'd be at risk of dying so like...yeah, I would.”

“Ehh.” I waggled my hand, then gave her a wry grin. “Always next time.”

“Weirdo.” That hurt a little.

“Look it'll be fine, promise.” I crossed my heart and rolled my eyes. “Believe me, I'd rather risk poisoning than go without coffee.” She grimaced, but sighed and poured some into the beaker.

I took a sip. Hot, sweet, delicious. I let out a sigh and waited to wake up in bed, because that would be my luck. And yet...nothing. I took another sip and waited, but once again I was fine. I continued til I was done, I wasn't stupid enough to be handling chemicals and drinking at the same time after all, then pushed it aside and offered a smile.

“Thanks.” Amy just grunted, but it was better than being called weird again.

The rest of the experiment went fine, the same answer as last time too. Of course I didn't realize that until I'd actually gone and done the math, but whatever. Amy helped less than last time, but there wasn't exactly a lot to do anyway. I told her to clean up and handed in our work. I took the coffee-beaker and washed it out myself just as the bell rang for lunch.

I decided the courtyard would be a nice place and headed out the front. I managed to find a nice tree off to one side and sat under it, taking out the 'lunch' I'd packed. Doughnuts weren't exactly nutritious, but it helped perk me up a little. It felt...normal, or at least less crazy than the last few days had. A moment of calm that I didn't realize I'd been craving. Huh. Well, I'd have to enjoy it while it lasted.

And so, I settled back and did.