I adjusted the hood of my costume for the umpteenth time. I wasn't sure why they had bothered, since I had a close-fitting layer of cloth beneath, in case the hood was torn. The entire rest of the outfit was skintight, by necessity. Anything beyond a few millimeters of thickness or distance from my skin was in danger of being snagged and torn away. In the worst cast scenario, it'd drag me with it.

They'd prepared, of course. The hood came away on hidden snaps, the toughened fabric easily replaced with another just like it. My mask was a little easier to breath through than the cloth balaclavas, lighter too so it didn't feel like I was being suffocated when I breathed hard. I looked down at the swirling patterns of amaranth blooms that had become the pattern for my costume. Like bending tiger stripes, lines of them curled around my body. It had taken some bartering, but I got them to make it more camouflage patterned than before. The results were pretty good, if I was honest.

I still stuck out like a sore thumb from the rest of the Wards. I was brighter than Kid Win or Vista, and redder than Flechette. I wasn't disappointed with the colour scheme though, if I was really honest, I just wished it was ever so slightly darker. Still, it was better than a plain leotard that couldn't even keep the chill off, and I didn't feel like I was in my underwear.

And besides, I looked like a hero.

“Amaranth.” I turned and found Viola Stanford, my Youth Guard advocate, with a tense smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Like throwing up, running away, or fainting,” I replied with a hint of sarcasm. That was all true, it was just...less than it had been earlier when I'd actually lost my breakfast. “I'm fine, really. Just a little...nervous, I guess.” She nodded slowly.

“It's to be expected,” Viola said flatly. “I'd rather they not parade you out there like a peacock, but that's my bone to pick. Can I get you anything?”

“I...” I considered it. God I wanted a smoke, but probably shouldn't ask for that. “I'm okay. Once I actually get out there it'll be better, I'll just push through. For now...” I shrugged.

“Alright Amaranth.” Viola smiled and reached out, taking my hand and giving it a brief squeeze. “I know I may seem down on the Protectorate, but know that you're doing a great thing, maybe the greatest thing. I know about your...background, but that doesn't drag you down. You're here when the city needs you, stand tall, chest out. Today, of all days, I think you've earned a little pride.” Despite myself, I felt a smile touching my lips.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice husky. I blinked a couple times and breathed slowly as I composed myself. I could hear them talking about me now. “Okay, well...show time.”

“Don't break a leg,” she said dryly. “I'll have to sue.”

We shared a brief, wry grin before Piggot standing at the podium just out front called for the 'newest member of the Brockton Bay Wards'. I took a deep breath and walked from the entrance towards where she stood in front of a small crowd, and dozens of cameras. I swallowed and kept walking, stopping between Piggot and Gallant. She stepped aside and gestured. I took the podium and stared out at the crowd, momentarily stunned.

“Hello,” I began, too quietly for the mics to pick up. I cleared my throat and began again. “Hello. My name is Amaranth, as of today I'll be joining the local Ward team.” There was a brief scattering of clapping, but not much. “I know things are tough, but I'll do my best to help in every way I can. I hope I can earn your trust.” I'd need it on the outside.

I stepped back from the podium and allowed Piggot to accept the smattering of applause, taking a deep breath. My back was dripping with sweat, oh god it was bad. Okay maybe public speaking was a little more intimidating than I remembered. But I'd avoided panic, so it was totally fine. I simply focused on my breathing until Gallant bumped my arm and gestured for me to follow him back inside. I did, glancing over and waving at Glory Girl who'd also apparently attended. I hadn't exactly been paying attention to the audience.

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“Well, congratulations,” Gallant said as we got inside, heading towards the elevator with us in tow. “It's official, you're Brockton Bay's rookie. How's it feel?”

“I need to sit down,” I replied in a huff as my knees shook. “God dammit.”

“Whoa, you okay?” Glory Girl asked, looking concerned.

“Yeah fine just...” I took a deep breath and pushed myself up, locking my legs. “I hate public speaking, apparently.”

I wiped my sweaty hands, then rolled my eyes and moved my projection around a little. Like that, the stickiness was gone, absorbed into my costume. It was made for it, so...gross as it seemed, it was fine. I pulled down my hood and mask as we entered the Wards' quarters. Victoria stared at me for a moment, shocked I guess at how easily I unmasked and--

“Lia?!” Oh, right.

“Uh, hey.” I waved. “Um, thanks for inviting me to lunch?” Her eyes narrowed.

“How long have you--”

“Day before Leviathan,” I interrupted, holding up a hand to forestall her reaction. “Yeah, stupid of me to go and--”

“You saved Gallant.” I paused, then nodded.

“I did what I had to,” I replied. “Anyone else would have.” She sighed.

“You sound like Amy.”

“I am Amy.” We shared a chuckle. “Um, sorry for not telling you. I literally found out the second day you knew me and...well, yeah.” I shrugged.

“Well, I'm glad you made the right choice,” she said with a warm smile. “The world needs more heroes, and I think you'll be a good one.” I smiled back.

“Thanks.” My smile flickered. She was going to be mind fucked soon...I could prevent it, if I knew when. “So...how'd I do?”

“Fine,” Gallant reassured me. “Definitely better than Dennis.” I grinned and nodded, I'd met him when he came back from patrol. “Good line, the one about earning their trust. Helps people feel like they have more agency in stuff, really important these days.”

“I meant it,” I snapped, maybe a little harsher than I should have but... “Sorry I just...I actually want to be a hero, you know? I want to be better.” He nodded slowly.

“Sorry Amaranth,” he apologized with a frown. “You're gonna be a great hero.”

“I second that,” Victoria said, wrapping her arm around Gallant's. “You were open about your...stuff with everyone, even Amy. You didn't have to be, but the fact that you were gives me a good feeling. So be a hero, Lia, be the best one you can be.” Despite the corniness, I found myself smiling at the warmth in her voice.

“Thanks.” I took a deep breath, then let it out in a slow sigh. “It means a lot, really. I uh, I hope we...get along.” And don't die, or worse.

“Same.”

“And here.”

“Uh, I'm gonna head to my quarters,” I said, jerking a thumb at the elevator. “Patrol in a couple hours, just a show one I think but, well...”

“It's Brockton Bay,” Gallant finished and I nodded. “Go rest up, and good luck.”

“Thanks.” I pulled on my mask and hood, then waved over my shoulder. “See you.” I paused, looking at Victoria for a moment. Fuck. I had to...

I fled into the elevator before Gallant, the man who could see my feelings, started wondering about my weird fucking feelings around his girlfriend. Obviously I wasn't into her, but god only knew what he actually could perceive. I sighed as I walked out onto the main floor of the PRT headquarters, then down the hall to the wing my apartment was in. I needed to be more careful, now that I'd be around them more often. Dammit, hadn't considered that detail...

Oh well, I'd cope. Worst case he starts talking to me about my feelings, and I can just shut that down and say I'll go to the therapist. I could, and it would probably be a good idea if I were being honest, but I once again had the problem of having entirely unrelatable problems. 'Yes hello Ms. Yamada, I've died six times and I'd really rather not a seventh'. Well, maybe if I needed a quick way out of the Wards. Pysch wards, heh, probably couldn't hold me as well as the PRT building. I pushed into my room and stripped my costume right away, heading into the shower. After a brief, gutwrenching rinse, I dressed in sweats and flopped down on the couch.

Victoria...yeah, Amy wasn't the only one having a bad time. I'd been too focused, missing the torment nexus for one girl trapped inside. Of course, helping one helped the other, so it wasn't like I was too far off the mark. If I prevented Amy from turning Victoria into that thing, or ideally from mind fucking her at all, then everything after would...

Change.

Huh. I hadn't considered the consequences of change too much. I saved Gallant, which was certainly something but hadn't meant much beyond an expansion of the Wards roster. I guess I was now in the Wards, another big change but again without consequence so far. But how far would that extend? If I started fucking with big, big stuff like Amy's trip to see Dad in the big house, there was no telling what could happen.

As long as she and Taylor lived, things would...probably turn out okay. No guarantee, but one enabled the other so...it was a reasonable assumption. Well, that at least made it easy to know where I had to focus for the next while. Taylor could take care of herself, and theoretically so could Amy. Or at least she could survive, if not intact. Was it haughty to think I could change the future? Maybe, but I think I'd earned a little smidgen of pride.

Or at least, hopefully I soon would.