Acharya placed his fork down on his tray and folded his hands in front of his face with his elbows propped up on the stained and varnished wood table. He seemed to study William from waist to head. The man sitting across from him took a measured breath and spoke in a light friendly tone that William was completely unprepared for. “William, wolves don’t eat with forks and spoons.” He laughed at his joke and the rest of his pack added their voices to their alpha’s. The laughter was short and what really amazed him was that this laugher was high and mirthful, and as with Eustace, it was completely devoid of any malice or hatred. It was a light clear, clean was the only word he could use to describe it, laugh that raised his spirits and made him add his own chuckle or two to the surrounding chorus. When the laughter died down Acharya unfolded his hands and let them hang in the air for a moment in a questioning gesture.
William was very confused by what had just happened. “OK so that explains wolves but what if they were in werewolf form?”
The people that were surrounding him looked back and forth between them. Their glances were open skepticism and confusion.
Acharya dropped his arms to the table and leaned forward. “No wolf born, regardless of their form, would ever come in here. Not because of something intangible like they are forbidden by tradition from ever stepping foot through those doors,” he pointed at the large double doors he had used earlier to enter the room. The rest of his pack barked out a laugh or two at this. “But,” Acharya continued, “because of something a lot more basic and less dramatic.” Acharya looked sideways at the girl sitting by Aiman, then brought his gaze back to William. “There are some very important things that you have to understand about being a shape shifter. You see, you and I and my pack and everyone else that lives here has had to walk a razor’s edge more than a few times. Have you ever wondered why all of the tests that you have undergone so far have been so perilous?”
The question caught him and he was mentally stunned for a moment. He had been infuriated with what had happened to him over the last few days, or weeks in the City under the Mountain. But he had never thought about why the tests were the way they were. He assumed that they were that way to weed out the weak, some kind of natural Darwinian theory that was being put into practical use. All he could do was slowly shake his head.
Acharya nodded with a warm smile on his face, again without the slightest hint of malice or derision. “The tests are the way they are to strengthen who we are as individuals. It’s the only real armor we have from the ravages of what we are. Understand?” His voice was very light, almost sympathetic.
Acharya rotated his head to the side in a sympathetic gesture and smiled. He took a large breath in through his nose and sighed when he exhaled. “William, we are part of two worlds, you, me, Aiman, Malikah, everyone who lives here and everyone who will live here.” He gestured all around them with an open palm, to the walls of the cafeteria and to the city beyond them. “What kind of pressure do you think that puts on our fragile minds? What kind of pressure do we have to deal with on a daily basis that has only been shallowly diagnosed by the outside world as schizophrenia?”
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This term puzzled William and the thought of it was disturbing in a way. “Schizophrenia? Like split personalities?” William wasn’t quite sure what to feel. He felt very unbalanced and he couldn’t help but think back to all those moments when his other had control of his body and all he could do was sit back, watch, and try not to go insane.
Acharya shrugged his shoulders. “Split personalities, bi-polar disorder, call it what you want but it all comes from the same thing. Because we are of two worlds, our minds are constantly torn between those two worlds.” He leveled his gaze and stared hard into William’s eyes. “I would think that you would understand this better than most.” The accusation was troubling but even though the alpha’s stare was hard, it wasn’t hateful or accusatory, Acharya was simply making an observation, nothing more. Acharya closed his dark eyes and held them closed for a long moment. “In any case,” the man’s eyes opened once again, “back to my original point. We have to hold on to who we know ourselves to be. How we see ourselves is very important in warding off that other side that threatens both human and wolf born alike. Our self-image is the only thing that prevents any one of us from becoming like those numerous werewolves in the past that have had to be put down, understand?”
Self-image? The phrase hung in William’s mind like a pendulum waiting to swing back into balance. The idea of it made perfect sense to him. But why then did he have so much trouble confronting and taming his other? No sooner had this thought come into his mind then he heard the faintest of laughter echo through his skull. It was gone as quickly as it had come, and he was beginning to wonder if he wasn’t going insane. Seeming to pull his thoughts out of the air between them Acharya gave him the faintest of nods. William looked at Acharya. “Later, William.”
And that was the end of the conversation. William sat there watching as Acharya continued to eat his meal and join in with Aiman about some training schedule that was happening tomorrow. William looked to his left to see Mary… was it? eating her dinner giving neither attention or care to William or anyone else. William picked up his utensils and began eating again.
He ate his meal and joined in on a conversation about modern American movies being much shallower on the whole now than they had been back when they were kids. Tara had mentioned that especially Disney movies were really boring now. She brought up the movie Brother Bear being just a pale imitation of things that had come before it. She mentioned that the soundtrack was pretty much a direct copy of the Tarzan soundtrack. It had really disappointed her when she had been younger, and the movies had just slid downhill from there.
William enjoyed the meal but all too quickly it seemed his tray was clean and the other pack members were picking up their stuff, preparing to leave. William picked up his tray and followed the group to deposit the tray at the wash station.