What was the most beautiful thing has your eyes witnessed in the span of your lifetime?

Any answer could be welcome as it will vary from person to person as they perceive beauty in each different perspective and frame. In a sense, the absolute beauty one can burn in their memory is the most vivid moment of their life.

Subjectively, it will be what we have seen by our eyes, something that we came across, or what we desired materialized in front of us or in another sense, we worked hard to grasp. Objectively, it might be what in the back of our mind truly desire, whether it is spanning outside of the norm or disturbingly grotesque.

That's what I believe.

I always believe that we are fine seeing the most hideous sight laid down in our eyes, at the same time, the apple of our eye, the so-called sight for the sore eye.

Beautiful or ugly, a person may like one and detest the other while another may have an opposite view. In any world, beauty may reflect ugliness, pure may reflect stained, and life reflects death, in which those two concepts blatantly shows all the faces of reality.

Of course, in this world, such contradictory belief and view are commonplace, however, the reason behind it can be counted as a grain of sand in a desert.

Why do you love this? Why do you love that?

Why do you hate this? Why do you hate that?

Whatever reason it may be, whether a physical or psychological, we are entitled to like and hate as long as it is accepted by society.

It is all strange to me when I think about it.

Society rejected me and hated me, even the people who are supposed to be my parents. Once more, I do not detest any of them, it was only because I am not someone they wanted, it was because I am nothing but a dying fish within the millions out there.

I was insignificant, nothing more than one in millions or billions.

But...why out of all the billion fishes out there, I was hated the most, or so think.

I could not even find a use for myself, how can they find a use for me at anything?

Because I couldn't find anything beautiful in my life and the only one I can see rotting is myself. I couldn't find anything in me that will reflect anything beautiful, all I saw was a man who outlived a life detained by illness, both in body and mind.

I could never hold hate in my heart.

All I can see is both the beauty of the world and my ugliness.

As I came to this world, everything changed...

To appreciate this world and its people, I truly need to appreciate myself. If they gave me the importance they believed I should have, I should acknowledge it, not to just respect the concept of intimacy, but because I truly need to love myself.

Why did King Cuh admit such bold and warm feelings to me? To understand that, I need to learn to evaluate myself positively, and I did that. I found out that maybe because he find me eccentric and that impression left a huge impact on him.

Why did the Elders show compassion for me? Was it because I am the so-called Divine Beast? Initially, it would be the case.

As I talk to them, they started showing genuine care. It is care mutual to each living being. For the first in my life, I was not treated like a rotting fish, but a person equal to standing.

Then, why did Heliotrope helped me, to the point of endangering herself? A lot of reason comes to mind, however, only she, Heliotrope, knows the real reason.

Despite not knowing about that reason, I place my whole trust on Heliotrope, the one who made me accept myself, even little by little. I am learning to love myself, as slowly as I can at my own pace.

Not even once she made me accept myself as to how people perceive me. She didn't want me to see my face and think that I can wholeheartedly love the person reflected in the mirror.

Instead, she showed me ways I can appreciate myself, letting me learn various things I have never done before.

I accepted that person, Aster, because she discovered that she is capable of something.

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The rattling sound of the carriage over an unpaved road mercilessly assails my ears that it twitches. I tried moving my body only to realize I was laying on the wooden flooring of the carriage while my head lies on someone's lap.

"You are quite a handful, geez. I was just wondering how long you will sleep on my lap like a spoiled kid." Heliotrope chided me with a grin plastered on her face.

"I am sorry." I replied as I hastily tried to get off from her thighs, however, her arms immediately wrapped my head, gently slamming me back on her cradle.

"No matter, I am Heliotrope, I am generous enough to do this for you." She said with a high and mighty tone. It is what she is, I thought to myself.

"I bet you are thinking of something rude. No matter, you are currently bound in my pearly white thighs, smooth as a morning dew birthed from the fresh scent of the morning, Lovely, isn't it?" Heliotrope smugs as she flaunts her exposed legs to me. Since she is just wearing a short frilly skirt, it was easy to catch a glimpse of such beauty even if she is just standing.

"I see. Please let me indulge for a few minutes then." I said while burying my face at the exquisite pillow presented to me.

Upon confirming that I am once again comfortable bounded on her legs, Heliotrope starts stroking my head, hands with gentle and long strokes, as if she is weaving linen of gold and silver.

The freshness of the event that transpired earlier has been flashing non-stop inside my head. Everything was awful until it stops at the moment where Doiteain smiled at me. It made me shudder and weighted in my mind so much that the feeling of fatigue became an unwelcome visitor in my head.

"Are you going to cry, again?" Heliotrope asked with a monotonous tone, as if she is still trying to assess me.

"I won't, but, it will be difficult for me to get over with the feeling of loss. I bet you do not even want to hear anything about Doiteain." I told Heliotrope my honest feelings.

"That's right, I do not want to hear the story of a dead person. That's how apathetic I am, however, it has only been three hours since we left the event. I have not forbidden you from shedding tears, my dear Aster." Heliotrope started playing with my hair while softly scratching the back of my ears by pinning it between her forefinger and thumb.

"I rather find it difficult to express grief and cry when you tickle my ears like that. Rather, I couldn't muster any tears right now to shed because of what you are doing right now." I told Heliotrope as I focus on her, looking up to her as I rolled my head to peek into her countenance as she is all smile.

"I didn't raise you to be this cheeky." Heliotrope fake frowns as she assailed my ears more with tickling.

It was ticklish and I giggled softly blowing away what's weighing down my mind. Heliotrope then reached out for my stomach and flanks and started running down her tickling fingers, making me laugh even more.

I lightly flailed at her little game as I have little resistance to both the jolting sensation of the tickle and being pinned down on her legs.

Because of that, my feet were slamming on the wooden floor of the carriage, creating a loud sound.

"What the-- you are fine after all. Will the two of you keep it down?!" From the curtains of the coachman's seat, Elder Uisce shouted as he peeked over to us.

"You do not even own this carriage. It was for me to decide whether we want to be noisy or not." It is as Heliotrope barked at Elder Uisce who was riding with us in the carriage.

"W-Well, Atil and I are driving it for your comfort! At the very least you can do is give us some spare time for a quiet and serene journey." Elder Uisce said before closing the curtain again.

"Huh, prick." Heliotrope scoffs, bringing entirely a stop on our little game.

Momentarily, I felt a little happier and cheerful. Somehow, it was Heliotrope again who uplifted the gloomy excuse of myself.

I went back on indulging on Heliotrope's legs and she started patting my head this time, to my surprise. It wasn't an empty gesture but one that is filled with warmth, so warm that her own jolly emotion is being transferred to me.

It made me somewhat more relaxed. My eyelids that were sore started closing by itself as it found comfort through her caress.

"Aster, what do you think of me?" As Heliotrope spoke those words, she lowers her head into mine, completely snuggling.

I know of it, of how to answer her question. It was just an odd hour of the day to be asking such a question, however, it is more than welcome for me to give a prompt answer.

After all, it is how I felt for her.

"It is a little complicated but, I feel like you are a big sister for me, but for the most part, you are like a younger sister." My answer left Heliotrope with cheeks dyed in a rosy red with eyes widened.

"Is this your sneaky way of manipulating me?" Upon regaining her composure after a few seconds, Heliotrope replied with a snarky tone.

"I would never. After all, Heliotrope has become so important to me." I, to deny her answer even if it was a joke, replied with lips partially curving upwards.

"Of course, everyone should know how important I am." Heliotrope impishly smiles at me.

"Then, am I important to you?" I asked with a flat countenance, staring straight right into her eyes.

I do not know what to think about how Heliotrope sees me. I am anxious about Heliotrope's motive of becoming a benefactor to me without much reward for her. When I ask her about it, she will cleverly play it off.

However, I will approach this matter in a way Heliotrope will be forced to answer. If Heliotrope says it was just a whim, I can accept that. If Heliotrope denies me, I'd be heartbroken.

"You are, for me..." Heliotrope paused, brings her head towards mine as she lifts my own head up.

"...Helio--" I tried to raise a protest, however, it was too late.

Combing away the bangs covering my eyes and exposing my forehead, Heliotrope then proceeds to give me a peck, rather, a sweet kiss. Her soft lips land on my forehead, whilst her hair tickling my face when our faces come in an extremely close distance.

It is so warm...

It is so moist...

It is so soft...

As she parts her lips from my forehead, she wears a grin, however, she has rosy cheeks that her pale white skin made more visible.

"Do you know what my answer is now? I don't want to explain the reason behind it so do not ask of it." She said before turning her face away.

"Yes..." I only replied.

It was a first for me, an embarrassment out of affection. I can also feel my cheeks getting warmer and my heart thumping so fast it rhythms with the carriage running on an uneven road.

The only word I can find to describe this sudden urge of emotion, it would be magical. Somehow, Heliotrope convinced me with that action alone and I felt a little better.

"In due time, you will know, Aster. For now, I want you to trust me. I insist on this matter." Heliotrope returns a gaze as she recovered.

"I am honestly dissatisfied, but I will trust you, besides, I have nothing left to lose but you." I know what I said. I have seen how Elder Doiteain dies, Heliotrope is the last person I want to see in the gallows.

"That's a problem on its own, solely relying on me, but if you revere me that much then I am more than happy." Heliotrope smugly said as she dons the narcissistic demeanor of hers. "Do I weigh more than Doiteain?" She asked, knowing about my circumstance.

"I'd choose Doiteain." I said to test Heliotrope.

THUD

My head hit the wooden flooring of the carriage and I emitted a soft groan as I hold onto my head. It seems Heliotrope immediately dropped me as soon as I said that I will choose Doiteain over her.

"I understand that my question wasn't the most pleasant to hear, but it still displeases me." Heliotrope said as she moves away from, towards the opposite part of the carriage.

I'd knew that this would happen, however, we both knew that I am still grieving. It was such a question that crossed the line, however, I also knew Heliotrope is someone who doesn't weep for the dead or something sort along with her personality.

I don't like it if Heliotrope sulks because of the choice that I made, however, I don't want to lie to myself. I couldn't do anything but look down as I sat while hugging my knees.

Suddenly, a hand roughly lands on my head, preventing me from looking up but it was Heliotrope.

"Geez, I just cannot play a simple joke to you. Well, it must not be a joke at any given reason. You should know that I do not sympathize with Doiteain's fate, you are my only concern, know that." She told before pulling her hand away.

It has even been a day since Elder Doiteain died, but, because Heliotrope knows so much about me and how I see things with my eyes, she knows how to talk to my awkward and inept mentality.

The last thing I saw of Elder Doiteain was her smile. Since it happened hours ago, it was so fresh in my mind that I cannot do anything but tear up.

Why do I tear up despite such a smile?

Why do I cry, despite the knowledge of her upcoming demise was already planned?

That's right, it is because I am me, Aster, the person who cannot see the ugliness of anything besides myself. Everything in my eyes can only be judged as beautiful or, a better word to phrase something that went above beauty, sublime.

I remember that moment, when Elder Doiteain's lips curved upward, it was like the very grace of the evening moon. It was glittering like the starry sky hovering far above this world and the very idea of such smile fading as fast was enticing in itself.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

That's right, I, Aster, found out that I can see beauty at people's final moment when they bare themselves pure once again and let out the most genuine emotion. One's death spells the end of their life, however, it was also the final way to show the purest state of a person.

That's why the most heart-rendering goodbyes are always when someone is about to fade from the land of livings, leaving memories and trails of their existence behind for people to cherish.

That is why, for someone to see such beauty despite it being an extremely dreadful event, I felt disgusted for myself even more. I cry because I couldn't properly grieve for Elder Doiteain because of these thoughts.

They say, people, throughout their lives, will pursue beauty or anything they desire. If I were to follow my desire to see what is the most beautiful...

"...!" As I was trying to come up with who has the most beautiful smile at the end of their lives, Heliotrope was the only one who flashes in my mind.

I don't like this, I feel like throwing up for such thought. The logic of thinking of the most precious person to me to die just to see her in the most sublime way as possible.

When I finally found happiness and when I slowly start seeing how vivid this world is, a predisposition of mine that was buried under my heart has surfaced.

These feelings are spiraling down again in the depths of my heart.

I want to grieve for Elder Doiteain, but at the same time, I want to grieve for the short moment of happiness that I had...

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"It marvels me to no end that you lot had the guts to impose on us after that hardboiled waste of liveable space had hurt my dear cute little Aster." Heliotrope spitefully said with antagonizing tone towards Elder Uisce over the camp's fire bundle in woods.

"That is a petty way to call someone willing to pay for the trip and further expenses. My argument is that those words fit you a lot more, you walking anvil." Elder Uisce replied sharply while feigning his calmness.

"Oh? I indulge this world with my pristine beauty and intellect. The child of man owes me more if anything. But of course, an old man like you cannot appreciate that." Heliotrope, looking smug but clenching her fist as her bust size was insulted, bantered back.

"Oh, I am sorry. I am too old to realize what pristine beauty is. At most, you are a walking flesh with just added special features such as furred ears and tail."Elder Uisce gets real.

Sparks between them break out as they glared at each other.

"I am quite embarrassed by this spectacle. I have been with Uisce for a while now so this the first time I see him like this." Atil apologized to me with a slight bow with a troubled smile.

"Please do not apologize, It is quite lively with your company." I told Atil to reassure him that there was no harm or anything. I am more of glad if anything.

"Also, I'd like to stay longer with Aster. I hope you don't mind." Atil said as he longingly stares at the crackling fire.

"Hey, I am keeping tabs on you!" Heliotrope snappily said intervening at our conversation in which was only replied with dry laughter from Atil.

"My bad. Well, I can see why the King of Tirrheaarn took a liking to Aster. Personally, I am in favor of quiet and shy girls." Atil commented with an obvious hint.

"Don't get any wrong ideas here. You are an outsider to this whole affair. I'd appreciate it if you keep your hand to yourself. Also, Aster isn't shy, she just likes keeping things to herself." Heliotrope shows defensiveness upon things regarding me. "Why do we need to go with that walking piece of droppings!" Heliotrope roared furiously as she pointed at that particular man.

Atil and Elder Uisce's eyes redirected to that man. It was the fat guy I encountered yesterday. As usual, he reeks something greasy that it made me, Heliotrope, and Atil to steer clear of his presence.

It was an extremely complicated story that Heliotrope told me, of why and how everything came to be.

After Elder Doiteain's execution, I became unresponsive from any stimulus as I was knocked cold from the shock. Atil carried me back to our room and helped us packed our belongings as Heliotrope was set on leaving as soon as possible.

As we were leaving, this mam saw us and proceed to have a talk with Atil about our plan. Seeing that this fat man doesn't have any ill intention, Atil told him that we planned to leave early.

For whatever reason, Elder Uisce left his actual group in the city to investigate and to fish further information while Atil said that since they are heading to the Kingdom of Madd like us, we ought to stay together for a while.

Since we are in decline financially, Heliotrope agreed to take Atil and Elder Uisce with us with a just payment. With that short and temporary agreement was formed, our almost empty carriage was loaded with boxes of books resulting in having an almost full carriage.

As we left, the man with odor followed us, also living his company of merchants. There was also an instance where he accidentally saw Heliotrope and my ears and tails in which made us obliged to take him with us.

"My utmost apologies! I do may look like a suspicious noble from my home country and look obnoxious, I followed you out of pure curiosity. I know when my guts tell me business. I didn't know I'd be witnessing more than I can chew." He said apologetically. "Also, my name is Ahmed." He introduced himself as such.

"Ah, could you be from the south of Ecklan Kingdom? That's a generic name." Atil concluded while looking at Ahmed.

"Yes, our people are unique. We are called Sarabs and we live in an extremely dry and hot place. For some reason, we also liked eating food with too much spice." Ahmed said embarrassingly.

"The Kingdom of Peshu, those who revere the false God Yaldabaoth. Considering that you came from there, you are awfully far from your home!" Atil exclaimed at Ahmed.

"Oh, no, no! I actually moved into the Kingdom of Ecklan since I got married." Ahmed told us.

"Someone married you?!" Heliotrope, with a flabbergasted countenance. shouted.

It was an extremely rude outburst. Even Elder Uisce was about to say the same thing, however, Heliotrope beat him at the moment.

Surprisingly, Ahmed took that extremely well as he only laughs embarrassingly. His fat cheeks are dyed red, visible from his brownish countenance.

"Yes! As a matter of fact, we already have two kids in which both are girls. Luckily, they both take after my wife. Admittingly, my wife is the only one who told me that my smell makes her excited rather than get disgusted." Ahmed said while scratching the back his head.

"Your wife has a bizarre taste for men. I guess that's just how life planned things for you." Elder Uisce commented while sipping on a pouch of water. "Though I really wouldn't excuse laziness for getting fat. I wonder why you got so fat like that even though you are a trading merchant." He added another snarky comment.

"Well, I was thin before I got married. In the Kingdom of Peshu, people always sweat because the weather is always sunny. Naturally, we were able to burn off anything that we eat, however, since moving to the Kingdom of Ecklan where my wife lives, I just got fat like this because the weather is a lot nice and cooler." Ahmed explained while pinching his belly.

"Ain't an excuse!" Elder Uisce shouted.

"You just need to watch out for what you eat! Well, I wish I could gain fats on a particular part of my body but I will never want a belly like yours!" Heliotrope followed, permanently denting Ahmed's soul.

"Eeeep! I already thought about that but my wife, since she's a cook in the Royal Capital, make the best food!" Ahmed prided himself on his wife's cooking.

"No good, he is a normal person." Heliotrope mumbled.

"Unlike us geniuses, normal people could not perform extraordinary duties and feats." Elder Uisce nodded in agreement.

"So, like, there are four of us against one normal guy, huh?" Atil said.

I tilted my head sideways from their words because obviously, it was words full of narcissism. I can feel my eyes drawn to them with a monotonous gaze.

The three of them catch my gaze and stares at me intently.

"Aster, just so you know, you aren't quite normal yourself. Rather, you are quite a genius in your own way." Heliotrope said with half-closed eyes as if condemning me for feigning innocence.

Then and there, I lost all motivation to deny any allegations and sat quietly in my own space. Even Ahmed himself was lost in our conversation.

Picking ourselves from the previous questions, Atil spoke once again with Ahmed.

"I know this is intrusive of me but, why did you head towards the land of the Gauls? It is quite far from The Kingdom of Ecklan and there should be more opportunities in the fiefdom around your place." Atil curiously asked.

"It is as you said, we have more opportunities to make leverage within our land, however, it won't take us further from what we are now. There are a lot of things here in the land of Gauls that are rarely seen in the Kingdom of Ecklan. For instance. the method of using fowl feathers as crafting commodity." As Ahmed cited an example, he looks at my way as I was the one who told him such a crafty excuse.

"Well, I can see your reasoning and I understand it well. However, upon that topic of the fowl's feather, wouldn't the Kingdom of Ecklan provides something similar or even higher of quality?" Atil actively trying to see some motives in Ahmed.

"That's not it Atil. This man certainly has good eyes." Elder Uisce said as he interrupted. "Certainly, the Kingdom of Ecklan developed so much that they can raise farm stocks equally or greater of quantity outside of their territory. However, the Kingdom of Ecklan uses livestock as their means of consumption. None would think of using them much more than necessary or rather, they have alternatives. That's why the fowl of the Tirrheaarn could only compete much in terms of usability, however, since all beings alive within our Kingdom flourishes from the blessing of the faes, we could provide an equally competitive product." Elder Uisce finishes his long speech.

"The Kingdom of Rousse tends to use larger livestock such as cows for their meat and milk. They are easier to preserve and retains their taste like beef jerky. We rarely keep fowls or anything alike as we live in a landscape unbearable for small critters. Also, fresh products such as meat and vegetables easily spoil in the wave of heat. There are factors to consider when you are a merchant after all. Have you investigate the availability of Tirrheaarn's product in your land and tests if they last long?" Heliotrope took the turn of bombarding Ahmed some questions.

"Well, I have been in the business for nearly twenty years now but I am still learning how things work, especially outside of the place I am accustomed to. It may become a liability for me but I have to try out various products in this kingdom. There is the upkeep of weather and season to watch out as the Kingdom of Ecklan could become hot and cold for the entirety of the year." Ahmed converses seriously as each three presented comments and suggestion that each of them pulled from their experiences and knowledge.

"...Yes." Feeling a little disconnected from the conversation, I blurted.

I understand the concept of how merchant works. Immersing yourself with the product that you are dealing with should be appropriate as prices for the said product may vary from time to time, customer to customer, season to season.

It is meeting the demand accordingly to the market trend.

However, there's one thing I am quite confused of...

"I don't understand it, all of it." I said towards them.

"...Aster, I think we have already covered this topic once." Heliotrope said whilst looking at me confusedly.

"No, I mean, you will be selling a product to test it, is what Mister Ahmed said. Shouldn't be getting feedback from the customer suffice? The market trends do revolves around the customer." I said while tilting my head.

The three of them look at each other with contrasting difficulties in their eyes. Ahmed immediately turns around and his shoulders are trembling as he tried his hardest not to burst out from laughing.

"I mean, that's a simple solution too. If you had a customer try a product that you brought from another land and get an appropriate evaluation, you can see its effectivity as a product." Elder Uisce said as he cleared his throats afterward.

"They may also give feedback about the quality discrepancy and sustainability without having you do the work yourself. Of course, it would cost you the product itself but at least, you know your way and can assess if the product is worth circulating in the market yet or not." Heliotrope also said her input.

I see...

They are too absorbed in their greatness that other's input was taken aside, specifically, a commoner's input.

Of course, it seems that Ahmed realizes this. After all, he is a veteran merchant. He could be listening to them actively for any heads-up.

"Well, I am going to hit the sack for the night then! Wake me up when it is my turn to watch!" Heliotrope hastily left the scene in which they created themselves.

"Needless to say, I should also be taking a rest. I am quite exhausted and my capability to think is quite rugged." Elder Uisce said as his excuse and head towards the tent they created earlier.

"The conversation was quite helpful. I am glad to have followed you. I will also take my night off." Ahmed said with a bellow of a giggle as he walks toward his carriage parked close to the stream of water.

"I will be staying up. I believe the next one for the shift is you, Aster. I'll wake you up when it is your turn." Atil told me as he waves a pleasant goodbye.

"Yes..." I quietly said as I walk towards our carriage where Heliotrope and I will sleep.

As I climbed up into the carriage, I saw Heliotrope fast asleep while laying on a thick foam for bed while covering her whole body with a blanket like a caterpillar. In my good intention, I quietly laid down beside her and covered myself with a blanket.

As I close my eyes and try to sleep, I could feel the slight release of stress from my heart as I slowly sank into slumber.

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Fluff...

A soft sensation assailed my face that ceased my function to breathe properly. As I touch the foreign assailant intercepting my breathing, I realized that it was just Heliotrope's tail landing on my face.

It seems that she has been tossing and turning as she sleeps. Shifting her position from beside me to atop me was evident enough.

I gently slid her off me as to not wake her up. However, as I remember, Heliotrope is nothing of a heavy sleeper so I also factored the possibility that she is awake...

So I drop her head lightly.

"Ow!" She yelped in a small and quiet voice.

"My apologies, but if you were awake, please do not purposely ride atop me. I need to check if it is my turn to watch for the night." I said as I watched Heliotrope untangles her body from mine.

"Yes, I was awake. Geez, you are so dutiful. I will be going back to sleep then." Heliotrope once again covered herself with a blanket.

As I confirmed that Heliotrope is not following me with her watchful eyes, I left the carriage and towards the campfire where Atil is keeping on watch.

I barely made any steps and Atil already noticed me from afar. He then waved his hand to me in which I waved back awkwardly. I made my way towards him and sat on the opposite side of the campfire.

"I hope you slept well." Atil started a small talk.

"I think it is already my turn to watch." I said with a default tone.

"Hmm, well I guess it is almost time. For now, since you woke up a little bit earlier, let's have a chat." Atil suggested with a smile.

"I don't know if I will suffice as a conversation partner, however, I will be glad to." I formally said as I bring up my attention to him.

"Of course you are. To be honest, I've been wanting to talk with you alone." Atil said as he gazes at the starry night sky.

I also look up and saw the sky unperturbed by dusky clouds as the stars dances in a glimmer. The leaves of the tall trees served as a perfect frame for the unending view of the embodying cosmic allure.

I can feel the cold night swirling in the place as an occasional gust of wind stroke gently into the land. The smell of the laden forest made the night even more bearable as it doesn't have many features to disdain.

Upon all these prided beauties of nature, the moon refuses to peek out from its slumber. But I cannot argue that the moon peeking as a crescent isn't anywhere near as beautiful as the round and majestic one.

"How are you, Aster?" Atil abruptly asked.

"...I, it is a bit complicated. No, I don't think I am fine." I told Atil as there was no reason to lie. He was just showing genuine concern. I already knew it was about Elder Doiteain.

"Well, isn't that natural? You were close to Elder Doiteain, right? It must have been hard for you, seeing someone who raised you to be executed." Atil said, all with his compassion.

"No...I've only known Elder Doiteain for about a month." I bluntly corrected him with a straight face.

"...That's surprising. By how you reacted, It felt like you were extremely attached to her." Atil, with a flabbergasted countenance, foretells his assumption.

"I don't understand it myself either. It might be because I was starving for affection. I've been all alone for most of my life. Elder Doiteain was the first one to show me genuine care. I look up to her as a grandmother." I told Atil, avoiding any topics regarding how I was summoned here. He may or may not know of it after all.

"Ah...Haha, so, you are like Uisce too." With a stifled chuckle, Atil said so.

"Elder Uisce?" I repeated the name of the very same man who slammed my head and made me watch Elder Doiteain's execution. I don't blame him for getting furious, however, at this moment, I remember the sensation of my face planted on the cold and hard stone railing.

"Just between you and me, Uisce cried quietly in his room while looking up into the sky. He is so prideful that he'd rather die than let anyone know how frail his heart is." Atil, with an impish smile, told me with a whisper in the wind.

"That's... I was under the impression that Elder Uisce is indifferent. Was I entirely wrong?" Elder Uisce didn't look at Elder Doiteain with any affection in his eyes. Perhaps he was just too good in hiding it?

"Let's just say that Uisce prides himself with his pride. He is dutiful and knows his priorities. Overall, he is not a bad man, just a little sour." Atil explained while giving a glance at the tent where Elder Uisce is sleeping.

"I see. If that is true, it makes me think that he was quite spoiled." I said gently as I can already imagine Elder Uisce frolicking around Elder Doiteain as a child.

"I can also see that. You, on the other hand, seems so frail yourself. Unlike Heliotrope with eyes as fierce as a beast, you are more of an injured small animal who has taken death's grace." His voice came out sad and apologetic.

"I am quite aware. On that note, I was curious if you have taken a liking to me." I asked him.

"So blunt... I hoped you could have been more discreet about it if you ever found out." Atil confirms his feelings for me, however, I felt surreal.

"I do not have any intention of becoming someone's lover for now, especially when I think I do not even deserve anyone." I told Atil how I felt about it, the romantic affection that I tried hard to grasp.

"Please don't think like that. It may not be in your best interest but acknowledging what you are right now could make people around you happier. Also, I do admit that I like you, but I cannot bring myself to wholly love you. You see, I am a warrior and I do not know when will I die. Leaving someone dear as you could become my biggest regrets." Atil smirks, using a confrontation, unlike King Cuh who read between the lines. I don't hate it though.

I am already aware that the only aspect of I, Aster, could see is my outward appearance. I acknowledge that my current appearance will suit most of the men's preferences and will be prone to become a romantic interest.

However, I, Aster, inside is completely hollowed and empty. It may not be the best description I can give to myself but that is how I feel. But, I also know that deep down, even if it was because of my current appearance as Aster, I am happy. I should not contain such feelings bottled.

That's why...

"There's only one course of action to take so we can settle everything here." I told Atil as I stood up from my seat.

"Ah, yes, certainly will!" Atil, in a hurry, stood up from his seat too and rushes in front of me and placed one knee on the ground and took my hand.

"..." I only stared at Atil in anticipation as he also started contemplating words.

"I, Atilla the Hun, requests your, Aster, hand for marriage. Will you accept my proposal?" It was a huge transition from asking a lover to asking for marriage, but in the end, I have to deal with it appropriately.

"I am sorry, Atilla the Hun, I reject your proposal to become your wife." I said with a faint smile forming on my lips. Because of such a display, I also felt my cheeks bursting with embarrassment a little. Everything is a first time for me after all.

From my answer, Atil made a dejected face that got me worried, however, he abruptly stood up from his place and threw both hands in the air, as if accepting defeat.

"I got rejected! That was fun!" Atil blurted out loud without any regard for the people sleeping in the vicinity.

"..." I was dumbfounded but felt the surge of Atil's celebration.

"Tirheaarn is a wonderful place, really. It will be worth crushing the Empire of Rousse just for this piece of land. Right here, in this place, is where Aster, the subliminal beauty, rejected me." Atil laughs it off as he went back to his seat.

Atil made clear of his objective, to conquer the Empire of Rousse. It is as what the history of our world said about him, a conqueror with an indomitable thirst for conquering. I'd imagine he'd be more brutal and savage, but I cannot compare this world's reality with the actual history of my world.

"Was it really that fun getting rejected?" I asked the joyous Atil.

"It was quite fun, especially from you. Maybe I will try in two to three years again, well, if we ever meet again." Atil said whilst staring longingly to me. "You are nothing but a dream, my subliminal Aster." He added.

"I do not think I am qualified to be called sublime. however, if you want to ask me for marriage in the future, I advise you not." I told Atil while I try to hold down my countenance from smiling.

"We will see about that when the time comes. For now, I think it is time for you to be sleeping, don't you think? Hit the sack now." Atil advised me to with all smiles.

"Certainly." I replied whilst turning around started heading back to our carriage where Heliotrope sleeps.

I once again climbed up the carriage, checked if Heliotrope is still sleeping soundly, and lay down beside her.

Slowly, as I closed my eyes, I was only filled with joyful thoughts, not only from this night but from all the days I have spent with people who gave me a reason to live. I felt no weariness to the point that I can proudly tell Elder Doiteain that

I will live for tomorrow and so on.

Before I finally sunk into a deep slumber, I feel like I forgot something.