She smiles.

It's not sad nor happy. It's a peaceful one - like she welcomes death with open arms. It was different from the earlier woman Clover had reaped. She had accepted it, but she never smiled peacefully. The woman in front of us wanted to die.

The smile dies out as we meet her gaze. First, she looks at me, then she moves the grey, round eyes towards Clover. She doesn't seem neither surprised nor confused about his coal-marked clothes.

She slowly gets up from the burning floor and takes small, careful steps forward.

"I'm dead," she says and stops a few meters away from us.

"Yes," Clover answers even though it wasn't a question.

He doesn't seem as confident as he usually is. He's tense and he won't move a slight millimeter. What if he cannot handle her? The thought is terrifying and leaves a troublesome feeling in the pit of my stomach.

She sweeps her gaze over our clothes.

"I'm dead," she repeats perplexed. "What happens after I die?"

She takes two more steps forward and extends her arm a few centimeters. Clover straightens his back and looks even more tense than before. He never lets go of her with his gaze.

"You stay here as a specter -" before he could say anything more Meeri tightly grabs his wrist.

She stares at him with large eyes and her face moves in pure panic. "You cannot leave me here!"

I can feel the heat from the fire. It moves aggressively when she squeezes his wrist harder. A black color seeks its way down Clover's hand, yet he stays completely still. Had I not seen how he tensed up before, I'd believe he wasn't fearful and had the situation under control. Now I'm not sure of that.

"You have to calm yourself," he says with a calm and collected tone.

"You cannot leave me here!"

The same ash that covers half of Clover's hand now wanders from underneath the nightgown and travels up to her chin. When she opens her mouth, I can see what looks like flames erupting from the beginning of her throat. Her face is grimaced in pure agony. I take a step forward. Clover moves his free hand and stops me by holding a tight grip around my wrist.

"I'm not going to leave you here."

The ash that has made its home on her body stops growing right underneath her lips.

"It's up to you whether you want to stay. But if you don't calm yourself, you'll be stuck here for all eternity. You won't be yourself; you'll be a wrathful wraith that burns everything it touches."

The ash has reached Clover's fingers and it's only his fingertips that are untouched.

"You're lying."

"I promise you, Meeri. I gain nothing of lying about this to you. You can keep holding onto me if it makes you feel safer."

I think I've never heard him speak so softly and gently, like he's caring for a fragile flower. She softens her grip around his wrist, but won't let go completely.

"Listen carefully, Meeri. I want to help you and that's why I am here, but you need to calm yourself."

She shakes her head. "No, I cannot. You don't understand..."

"Yes, you can. I'll help you, alright? But you need to let me help you."

Her eyes widen. "How?"

"I can take you away from here, you'll never need to put your foot in this place again. But you need to calm yourself, Meeri."

"Where will you take me?"

Clover gives me a warning glance that tells me not to move. He lets go of my wrist and puts his hand in his pocket. Every slight move is planned, it seems like he's terrified to move too quickly or in a way that would make the woman explode. He takes the stone from the pocket and slowly unfolds his hand.

"We call this a soul stone," he says in the same calm and collected voice, "with it I'll reap your soul, but only if you let me. You'll never see this building or this area again. You'll be reborn or live for all eternity in paradise."

Meeri opens her mouth slightly. The black ash moves down her face, towards the heart that is no longer beating. She lets go of Clover and stares at the soul stone in his hand. I wait for the stone to open, for the soul-dust to whirl around each other. But nothing happens. It remains shut.

Meeri takes a step back. "Why isn't it working?!"

The wrath is back again. Clover takes a step forward before it can get out of hand. He looks annoyed and I understand why. I didn't even think it was possible.

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"I'm not going to leave you here," he says with a much harsher tone, "but... there's some changed plans."

Meeri recoils. The fire behind her pushes itself against the ceiling, and the whole room is black. It feels like everything will fall apart.

"What do you mean?"

"I can take you away from here, but I cannot promise you paradise or a reincarnation."

"It doesn't matter. Just take me away from here!"

I want to tell her that it's better to stay, even if the house is burning to the ground. I doubt she'd care what I have to say. She wants to escape this place and she's desperate enough that it doesn't matter how it happens.

"As you wish," he says and replaces the blue stone with the orange.

The gate unfold itself in the blackened room.

"I'll explain in the corridor," he says to Meeri.

Clover says nothing out loud, but the way he looks at me before he opens the door says everything. How could this be possible? Two apprentices at the same time.

Both of them steps through the whirling darkness, Meeri didn't have the same hesitation that I had.

Once we step out to the other side all the crystalized lamps are already lit. I walk behind Clover and Meeri. He explains everything, what is expected of her and that all her memories of her living days will disappear. Even her name.

I'm a little jealous that she gets this talk from Clover. I never did, I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because he didn't want to scare me with the details until I was in a room I couldn't escape from. Not that I'd be able to escape in the corridor, but it was much bigger than Blomst's office. If I had learned something about Clover, it was that he didn't like to be inconvenienced. Or Clover might be telling Meeri all these details because he'd gotten a scolding from Blomst for not explaining anything to me.

Truth is I have no idea why he never told me anything.

Meeri looks content, joyful even, when Clover tells her about the worlds and the guardians. The only time I see her smile fade is when he tells her how much death she'll experience. Yet, I still sense harmony in the way she moves, like she has been freed. All those worries and concerns she had are gone. They mean nothing anymore. She'll forget them soon. I understand why she's smiling when he speaks of a new life without old memories that holds you down. For me it's the other way around. I hate the thought of forgetting. While I've had hardships throughout my life, I don't think I've gotten close the pain she has felt. It makes me wonder what Emma would think of this. If she became a soul wanderer, would she prefer to forget everything? Maybe that would be easier to handle. I can admit that, but the fear is still there.

"So beautiful," she says and watches the lamps that are likely being lit one after one in her eyes, exactly the way they did for me the first time I walked this corridor, "so incredibly beautiful and peaceful."

Clover pays no attention to me and I prefer it that way. What he told me still hurt, that he saw me makes me want to avoid him. At least until I can put on my mask again and pretend that he never saw through it. I'll play my game just as much as he plays his, whenever he's reaping a soul. He cannot judge me. Not when he's not even honest with Artemis.

Once we reach the end of the corridor Wolf stares at Meeri before he moves his fiery gaze towards Clover.

He sighs. "I know, I have no explanation."

Wolf laughs.

There's no fear in Meeri's grey eyes, only a curious wonder. She looks at this place much more differently than I had. And still do.

"Orchid," Wolf says and bows his head slightly, "do you write anything?"

"I do."

I've filled half of the notebook with names, most of them are my own and family's. Sometimes I also write friends' or other people's names who had some sort of meaning to me when I was still alive.

"Good, good!" He turns back to Clover. "They await."

Clover knocks on the door and a black card comes out. Wolf leans closer to get a better look.

"Saturn," Wolf says with one of those smiles that you can only feel, "unusual, unusual."

"Why is that?" Meeri asks and stares at the skeleton with large, curious eyes.

"Saturn is the one who has the least soul wanderers. But he gives the most beautiful names."

Clover leans towards him with a smile on his lips. "You don't want a flower as a name, Wolf?"

"Ah, no. No offense, Clover... Or Orchid." Wolf does a head movement towards me. "I think I'm content with the name Vrana gave me. Even though it might be a bit uncreative."

He repeatedly pokes the wolf-skull and laughs.

"I don't think any of the guardians are known to be creative or good at giving out fitting names," Clover says, still smiling with something playful in his brown eyes.

He's right. I've never thought the name they gave us was rather creative. Even though Orchid had a meaning to me, I doubted that Clover had something to do with the flower he was named after. Even Sixxteen made a joke of how ridiculous the names are.

Clover turns the black card around. "It should go faster than the first time we were here."

The curiosity and wonder in Meeri's eyes only grow larger once we step into the waiting hall. We sit down at the chairs while Meeri's eyes wanderer over the room and soul wanderers. It's fewer today, but the colors of the cards they're holding show that they're going to different guardians. There's slightly more than ten people who carries the same black cards as us. The most common ones are brown - the same one we received when I came here the first time. I guess that the white papers - that are just as rare at the black ones - are for the soul wanderers that belong to Cerberus.

"There's so many," Meeri says.

She looks at the soul wanderers at the other side, mostly the older ones that look like they belong in a movie or a cosplay convent. It's hard to get used to those who looked like they lived hundreds of years ago. Like they - or we - don't belong. Truth is we all belong, everyone who no longer has a body to return to.

"There's many who dies," I say and avert my gaze.

Clover doesn't seem interested in holding a conversation and neither do I.

"That's true. I didn't expect so many to become reapers."

"Soul wanderers," I correct her.

Clover makes a slight chuckle at my correction.

"When did you die?" she asks.

I hesitate. That kind of question makes my skin crawl, and it's one I'd prefer not to answer.

"Two weeks ago, almost three. I think."

"Then you haven't been dead for very long."

She says it way too natural. I haven't accepted it yet - that I am dead and that I cannot return to my world.

Once I turn my gaze away from her a second time, I notice that the doors are peeking out from under the floor. Clover focuses on the number on the black paper, he awaits our turn and when the sign above the gate with the moon changes to our number, he stands up.

"Our turn," he says and throws a short glance at us before he leads us to the door. We walk a few steps behind him.

"What happened with the soft, calm side of his?" she asks me. "Now he seems... grumpy."

"He never had one", I mutter silently to myself. "It's a mask he uses when he reaps, well one of them anyway."

"A mask, like a literal one?"

"No, not a literal mask. You'll have to ask him," I say when I tire of explaining this to her. Meeri is after all not my apprentice.

When we arrive at the door Clover leans in and whispers, "Remember you're speaking to a guardian. No matter how he looks like."

Before I can ask what he means the door opens and the whirling darkness welcomes us in.