CHAPTER 60

“What is the societal threshold? It is a rather curious line of thinking, so I will put to you its foundational query: At what point does a society’s dependence on Skills for technology become unsustainable? The idea is that we are bottlenecked since society cannot depend on the genius of high Tiered masters to be replicated in future generations. Discuss.”

~Unknown

Three times I tapped my knuckles against the door to my parent’s bedroom. The door was ajar, so a proper knock would have pushed it open and defeated the purpose. Frankly, signaling my presence at all was likely an exercise in redundancy, given how sharp I’d come to learn my mother’s senses could be.

Best not to depend on that though, lest I develop unfortunate habits. While boorishly barging into rooms unannounced had the capacity to convey a sort of… something, it was not a something I possessed nor was it a something I had any interest in cultivating.

No, mine was the domain of the overthinker. Logically, one consumed by thought should be wise and ready for anything. Reality is often disappointing, for to overthink is often to be overwhelmed by hypotheticals, trapped in the liminal space between thought and action. It is why ‘local heroes’ interviewed by professionally cheery field reporters often attributed their success to acting without thinking.

“You can come in, Will.” Tina’s voice pulled me from thoughts of thought. A good thing, too. It was a new morning, and despite the subdued mood that clung to the household yesterday, I was determined to address my concerns and then…

Honestly, I didn’t get that far, yet. Training. Probably.

As usual, Vigil had laid claim to the majority of the floor space by sheer virtue of his size. Child-sized limbs made navigating around him a tricky prospect but one I had grown rather adept at given years of practice. Quicksilver eyes watched me intently as I attempted the feat, and I could have sworn they carried the glint of amusement.

“Good morning, mom,” I said with a smile, mindful to keep my voice down so as to not disturb the bundle of baby asleep in the nearby crib. Tulos had made an early start, so was not present, as was becoming the norm most mornings. Marco had been getting better at sleeping through the night uninterrupted, but he still regularly woke at the crack of ‘too-fucking-early’ like a rooster that fancied itself a banshee. Evidently, my father’s solution was to embrace the lack of sleep instead of struggling to steal a precious few extra hours.

Tina scooped me up into the bed next to her, making sure to give me a cuddle in the process. There were few things as soothing as a mother’s hug, and I leaned into the warmth of it. She situated me in the divot left in the mattress by Tulos’ bulk; the springy synthetics of modern bedding were a luxury left in my first life, unfortunately.

Not that I’m not used to it by now.

A quick glance at the doorway revealed Fudge flat on the ground inching ever so slowly towards his sire, betrayed only by the faint scraping of his claws against the floor. Vigil, to his credit, pretended not to notice. I could sense Fudge’s mischievous delight through the Tamer Bond and decided to leave the pair to their fun. It was still impossible to tune the bond out completely - or at all, really - but I managed well enough.

“Is everything okay, my Will?” Tina’s question stung a bit, since it touched on part of what brought me to her first thing in the morning.

“In general? Yes, but I wanted to talk to you about yesterday.” I watched as Tina gave a slight nod; she’d been expecting as much.

Which is, honestly, part of the problem.

“Before that, though, I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?” Tina pushed herself upright so she could sit a little straighter and give me her full attention.

“It feels like I only come to you or dad when I want something.” I frowned, mostly at myself. My reflections regarding my influence on Tina and Tulos’ life had unearthed some unfortunate personal truths. “That is not a good way to treat family, I think, so I wanted to apologize.”

“Will, that-”

“What makes it worse is that there IS something I want from you today, too, so it makes me feel like my motives for apologizing are also not good enough.”

“Will, please-”

“I also feel like I ruined what should have been a good day yesterday, and-”

“Will!” Tina snapped at me, which finally shut me up. A flash of guilt crossed her face but she was quick to reclaim her composure. “Will, my sweet Will, you do not need to apologize for depending on us, you see?” She chuckled softly, and I didn’t miss the hint of sadness that snuck into the sound. “We are your parents. You are supposed to come to us when you want things.”

She leaned over and softly kissed the top of my head, making me momentarily cognizant of the bed-headed tangle in my hair I still hadn’t dealt with. A quick pulse of Perseverance banished the distracting thought and helped anchor me to the moment.

Tina’s gentle reprimand was difficult to accept. I held myself to the standards of an adult. She held me to the standards of a child. So long as that deception existed, the barrier between us would remain. Even so, I still had no intention of tearing it down and was starting to loathe myself for it.

“Okay, mom, I understand.” Another lie, of sorts, but a necessary one. “You really do not mind?”

“Not at all. You can come to me or your father for anything at any time.” Her tone made it clear that she would accept no arguments on that particular matter. That, more than anything, made me feel a little better.

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Tina’s permission, even gained under what felt like false-pretense, was a validation of my behavior, an easing of the guilt I’d been feeling. Not all of it, of course, but enough to not waver on my priorities.

Would it have been better if she reprimanded me? Would I have made an effort to change if Tina condemned my actions instead of supporting them, despite her fragmented understanding of my circumstances? It was impossible to say. I didn’t know what I wanted, only that I needed to say something.

And now I have.

“Thanks, mom. I love you.” Acceptance was the only sensible path available to me, at least until future doubts threatened to push me off it.

“I love you too, my Will.” She pulled me in for another quick hug before continuing. “Now. About yesterday… what did you want to speak about?” She ushered the conversation onwards, perhaps concerned that I would hesitate to do so myself.

“Yesterday reminded me that, sooner than I would prefer, I might have to leave.” I paused as I felt Tina tense up next to me. “I know it is not fun to think about, but everyone seems convinced it is inevitable, and I am worried we are running out of time together. There is still so much I want you to teach me.” One of my main motivations for selecting Taming [Dog] was having access to Tina as a mentor.

“You are right, my Will. It is not fun to talk about at all.” I felt the bed start to shake slightly as one of Tina’s legs began to try and tap while horizontal, an outlet for her anxious energy. “Did you know that the former nobility often send their children away at a young age as a matter of course?”

“They do? Wait- the former nobility?” Her question caught me off guard, so I didn’t properly register the false bravado that accompanied it.

“Mhmm, so if you think about it, it is almost like you are going to be treated like royalty.” I could tell she was trying to cheer me up with the distraction.

She might also be trying to distract herself. All the more reason to play along, at least for a time. My curiosity had been piqued either way.

“No. I mean, what do you mean by former nobility? What about the current nobility?”

Tina just blinked a few times as she processed the question.

“Because there is no nobility anymore.”

“So The Crown is royalty without a noble class?” I was so caught up on the strangeness of it all that I spoke without thinking; concepts of government had not been a highlight of my education as Will. Thankfully, Tina didn’t seem to notice as she was instead focused on deciphering my question.

After a beat, embarrassment coloured Tina’s cheeks and she chuckled ruefully.

“I sometimes forget how young you still are, Will, so of course you would not know. The stories we told you often featured kings, queens and kingdoms, so I understand why you would get the wrong idea. The Crown is not like that. It was, and the name stuck, but we no longer have a king. This all happened a long time ago, of course, back when your grandfather was a young boy like you.”

“That… that sounds silly.” I wanted to say it sounded ‘fucking stupid,’ but that might have been pushing things. “Why do they still call it The Crown? What even is The Crown?”

“You are asking many things at a time so early in the morning,” Tina said with unmasked amusement in her voice. “If I give you the very short version, will you be content for the time being?”

Definitely not.

“Yes.”

Tina cocked an eyebrow at my obvious lie - she was getting dangerously good at reading me - but the smile never left her face.

“Alright then, the short version is that we used to have a king - or a queen, and sometimes both - and everyone referred to them as ‘The Crown’, you see?” After I gave a quick nod, she continued. “Then, a lot happened, and no, those details are not going to be included in the short version.” She cut off my question before I could give it a voice, but I could make an educated guess as to why.

Change is seldom peaceful.

“Now, The Capital is overseen by a council - a group of people who represent other groups. Outside of the bigger cities, though, not much changed. Taxes still needed to be paid, crops still needed to be grown, and enough people kept on referring to the people in charge as ‘The Crown’ that they eventually gave up trying to change it.

I have so many questions. It wasn’t the most exciting story, but the nuance of government wasn’t exactly synonymous with a heart-thumping thrill.

“So how do the former nobility fit into all of that?” I allowed myself one question anyway; they had been the catalyst for the aside, after all.

“The simple answer is that they no longer exist. There is more to it, of course, but I am not the most suited to teaching you about it.” My disappointment at the words must have shown on my face, because she was quick to continue. “No need to pout, I was not finished, you see? Many of the old nobility kept their positions, albeit under different titles. It was not the case for all, but many maintained enough wealth and influence, even after the changes in The Capital, to carve out a place for themselves.” A faint smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“And what about the thing with their kids?”

Tina made a show of playfully swatting her forehead.

“Right, I had almost forgotten,” she teased. I was momentarily tempted to compare her to Lionel in jest but thought better of it. “Traditionally, families would send their children into each other’s care for years at a time. As to why…”

“Complicated?”

“Complicated. Regardless, many well-off families have adopted the practice today - some more than others. There is a certain prestige that comes with being an effective host. Reputation is a form of currency all its own, you see?”

“I think so.” It was an answer that erred on the side of modesty, since the concept wasn’t alien to me to begin with. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up, mom.” I leaned in for another hug and told myself it was for her more than it was for me. She squeezed me tight until the moment was interrupted by the burbling cries of a recently roused baby.

“I need to tend to your brother but then all three of us can go to the kennel, okay?” Tina sounded cheerful, and I couldn’t tell how much of it was put on for my benefit.

“Sounds good. Also…”

“Tomorrow your father will be taking care of Marco. You and I are going to spend the day together.” The smug undertones I heard in her voice were definitely authentic; she knew exactly what I was going to ask.

Hopefully Tina could help me with some of my Taming concerns; recently I’d felt like I was banging my head against a conceptual wall. A well of excited energy began to bubble inside of me.

“Perfect. I cannot wait.”