CHAPTER 21
“I don’t suppose any of you saw where I put my jacket when I came in here? I swear, the System-cursed thing has a mind of its own and hides from me the second I take my eyes off it.”
~Unknown
One might consider my decision to broach the topic of System Advancement with Tina an impulsive one. They’d be right, of course. Jusep was either dead or dying, and neither Tina nor I were in the proper state of mind to address such an important milestone with the careful consideration it deserved. Life isn’t always perfect, though. Sometimes it’s messy and unplanned. Sometimes it’s poor decisions stacked upon worse situations.
Tina’s eyes widened in surprise and whirled on me with newfound intensity. She studied my face intently, searching for deception or misunderstanding but finding nothing but sincerity. It was subtle, but something about Tina’s demeanor shifted. The underlying tension in her shoulders loosened, then slumped; the slight curl of her lips - the one that made her look on the verge of snarling - flattened out, then thinned. Vigil roused and stepped away from her before settling next to Vix with an exhausted huff. Through it all, Tina didn’t take her eyes off me. As one moment became the next, her gaze began to soften and a thin ring of green began to bleed into the silver.
Of all the reactions I was expecting, this was not one of them. She looks… sad.
“Mom?” An uncomfortable quiet stretched between us. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn’t know what I could possibly say. Worried that I had somehow made things worse, I floundered. “It is okay, mom. We can talk about this later. I should not have-”
“You are not like the other children, are you Will?” It was technically a question, but it sounded like a statement. Her tone was gentle, but it struck me like a cannonball.
Oh… oh fuck.
Tina smoothly stood and took a measured step towards me. “The other moms and I, we talk. You do not cry as much as Bella or Jusep.” She didn’t even flinch at the mention of Jusep’s name. I did. My breaths started coming sharp and shallow. Tina just took another step and continued unabated. “You understand boundaries and rules. You learn so much faster than they do. You do not play the same way they do. You always look so… bored.” She sounded… wistful? Regretful?
The scuff of Tina’s boots on the dirt grated at my ears. She took another step. I wanted to conceal my distress, to play off her accusations as nonsense. It was too late for that, though. I’d already shown my hand. I couldn’t clamp down on my shock fast enough from the onset. To backtrack would only be more suspicious, not less. I’d been found out. My performance had been flawed - of course it had.
“You try to look out for those two like an older brother, even though you are the youngest.” Every sentence was accompanied by another step towards me and another nail in my proverbial coffin. “Now you are telling me that - at five years old - you have leveled up Perseverance enough to be ready for your first Advancement. And I know you are telling me the truth. I see it in your eyes, hear it in your heartbeat, and smell it in your words.”
I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or scream as Tina laid my failures in front of me, a signposted series of irregularities. I braced myself for the final accusation that I knew was coming. She finished crossing the distance between us and loomed over me. Tina knew the truth. She dropped to her knees and pulled me into a tight embrace.
… what the-
“You try so hard, my Will. I worry your Skill has helped you grow up too fast.” My arms twitched at my sides as Tina tightened her embrace. It wasn’t painful though, not like before. It was tender. Warm. Accepting. I hugged her back, letting the emotional floodgates open as Tina spoke softly into my ear. “You may not be a normal boy, but you are my Will. Your father and I love you. You do not need to hide from us. You can be your true, wonderful self.” The emotional whiplash was too much. I sobbed. Again.
My secret was safe, for now. Tina and Tulos accredited the odd behavior to my Core Skill. On paper, it was an ideal solution. Things are never that simple, though. I knew the secret of my origins would still weigh me down, but right then, I felt light as a feather. Maybe, just maybe… I didn’t let myself finish the thought. I wasn’t ready for it.
Life isn’t always perfect. Sometimes it’s messy and unplanned. Sometimes it’s poor decisions stacked upon worse situations… and sometimes that’s okay.
***
“I was scared to talk to you about how your Skill might be affecting you.” Tina and I had shared a long embrace that we both needed more than either of us would admit. She already looked more animated, more like herself. “When Vigil and I use our magic it-” she paused, humming and hawing as she considered how to word something. When she saw my attentive expression, she shrugged and continued. “It clouds my inhibitions - that means it makes it easier for me to do things. It is why I was staying away from everyone while I… while I calmed down.” Tina pursed her lips in a thoughtful expression. “It made me brave enough to talk to you, even if it might not have been the best day for it.” Tina regarded me warmly as she spoke, I could see the last of the silver drain from her eyes in real time. Once again, those familiar shifting greens resumed their rightful place. “I am sorry I waited so long.”
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“It is okay, mom… I… me too.” Naturally, when given permission to stop dumbing down my maturity and intelligence, I was unable to form a coherent sentence. It felt like my brain was still rebooting after the panicked meltdown it had earlier.
That has happened a lot today… Surely it can’t be healthy.
“Now!” Tina clapped her hands together to reset the atmosphere. “You said you had some questions about Advancement? I will try to talk to you like you are a big kid, but if I say anything you do not understand, let me know, okay?” Tina had repositioned us as we settled such that I was facing away from the house. She was indulging my curiosity on the topic of Advancement and avoiding mention of Jusep to distract me; it felt like her way of shielding a child from the world’s harsher realities, at least for a time. I decided to let it happen.
Status.
Perseverance has gained sufficient recognized proficiency for Advancement.
Please proceed to Skill Augmentation selection for Perseverance.
…
All Skills have gained sufficient recognized proficiency for Advancement.
Commence Advancement?
“Is The System going to rush me? Will I be able to take my time looking over my ‘Skill Augmentation selection’ or will-” I cut myself off. I’d almost forgotten that, to my knowledge, no one else knew about the Core Skill selection timer.
I still have to be careful with certain subjects. It was a sobering thought.
Tina was quick to muster up an answer. She did a good job at hiding her concerns, but I could tell hearing me speak without my usual faux-immaturity rattled her. She rose back to her feet and started pacing as she responded, like a full-body fidget.
“You can take all the time you need,” she gave me an approving smile. “In fact, many people delay their Advancement so that they can qualify for specific Augmentations if they have a … in mind.” Tina saw my confused expression at the unfamiliar word and elaborated. It was another example of a word that didn’t have an exact translation. The closest touchstone I could think of was ‘build’ in the context of a video game character, but applied to real life. It wasn’t an alien concept to me, but it was still jarring to realize that I now lived in a culture that discussed ‘builds’ with the kind of gravitas that one would use when planning their career or life prospects.
“You would normally learn more about this in lessons with the other children as you got older,” Tina concluded her brief lecture and allowed herself a half-amused smirk on my behalf. “Most people do not achieve their first Advancement until they are teenagers.” I had the good sense to look bashful.
Why was there a time limit for the Core Skill selection, then? It was frustrating not to have a full understanding of The System. I offhandedly considered that people probably used to feel the same way about other laws of reality, like gravity. Eventually, someone decided to try and figure it out and… well, they didn’t quite figure out all the details, but they started the process and inspired future generations to continue their work. Something, something, shoulders of big lads.
“Will, did that not make sense?” Tina asked gently and I realized I must have zoned out for a second. That hadn’t been happening as much recently, largely thanks to Perseverance helping me stay on topic. Tina had sat back down opposite me. She wasn’t sitting completely still, but going into lecture mode seemed to help her relax.
“It made sense,” I replied quickly. “Would it be okay if I looked at my Skill Augmentation options?” The deeper mysteries of The System could wait. While I had Tina’s attention, I decided it would be best to take advantage of it.
Tina looked conflicted as she considered my request. “Normally I would say we should do this as a family, but given the circumstances I can help you now, if you want.” She gave me a knowing look. “The fact that you had the patience to ask and not simply start the process by yourself is not normal five-year-old behavior either.”
“Are there other kids like me? More mature than they should be, I mean.” It was another question I’d been sitting on since Tina’s revelation and decided I could wait a little longer before I delved into my Advancement to get an answer.
“Most children have a specialized Core Skill, like my Taming (Dog) Skill. It means that if they have a Skill that can improve their mind, it is usually only in a specific way. These children are often… quirkier than their peers,” she blushed slightly, as if the words brought to mind an embarrassing anecdote. I didn’t pry. “Your Skill is not specialized, so we were unsure how it would affect you. Do you understand?”
“I understand.” I understood that my Core Skill had helped me disguise my origins in a way few others would have been able to replicate. I looked up at Tina, my new- my mother as she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and gave it a faint squeeze. Who says you need a Skill to be lucky?
“Do you still want help with your Advancement, my Will?”
“Yes, please.”
I told the System I wanted to proceed to Skill Augmentation selection for Perseverance. It obliged.