“Gods dammit, I just spilled my drink all over the manuscript. Can I fix- nope, it is fucked. Don’t any of you dare tell anyone about this. I will end you.”
~Unknown
The last day of my System countdown was as illuminating as it was stressful. Muted muttering roused me from the light sleep I was only able to claim after a night of excited tossing and turning. I’d barely finished blinking myself awake when my parents came into focus, looming over me like proud gargoyles. They cheered in response to my stirring. It wasn’t a particularly vigorous or spontaneous cheer, but the partially rehearsed cheer adults used around children that bordered on sarcasm. Tina scooped me into her arms and showered me with tiny kisses and I heard a large shape start to move below me. I craned my neck and saw Vigil who had raised his head to inspect the noise. I almost giggled. His squinted eyes and disorganized ears made it clear he was entirely unimpressed by the intrusion. He grumbled before settling back down with a huff.
“Oh hush,” Tina jokingly scolded before she shared a laugh with my father who also noticed Vigil’s incredulous expression. Sprawled out as he was, Vigil took up most of the floor space which must have made navigating to the crib without disturbing him in the first place a delicate process.
The timing of the sudden, weirdly celebratory break in our routine aligned too closely with my Core Skill selection to be a coincidence. It was like some kind of birthday-
A System Day
It was like some kind of System Day, a way to celebrate that a baby was going to get their Core Skill. I couldn’t be certain but, unless something happened to suggest otherwise, it made the most sense. It meant the countdown was consistent for everyone and my parents had been marking the days.
How could they possibly know that it’s the same for everyone, though? Does their society have a way to easily check a person’s status like some kind of… I don’t know, like an inspection skill?
Cautiously, I called my System notification up.
Time Until Core Skill Selection
00:17:24:33
Neither of my parents reacted as the screen materialized in front of me. They couldn’t see it. There’d be no point in pretending they couldn’t in front of a baby who didn’t know any better… Honestly, I was a baby who didn’t know any better, even with the whole reincarnation situation. Maybe they could see my screen and acting casual was a superstitious thing. Or maybe in just over 17 hours I was going to glow blue and burp rainbows as Core Skill Selection descended upon me.
I tried willing the seconds to pass faster. It didn’t work. Impatience at my ignorance pestered me and every second felt like an hour. Begrudgingly, I accepted that watching the screen all day would be torture, so I willed it to close. My ambient irritation must have inspired a pout because I heard Tina’s delighted giggle moments before she started squeezing my chubby little baby cheeks. It wasn’t the first time it had happened. Evidently she thought grumpy babies were adorable.
“I don’t think Will likes that, Love.” Thankfully, my father must have noticed my look of displeasure at the treatment. His tone seemed more amused than chiding but I still appreciated that he’d intervene on my behalf.
Tina gave a snappy rebuttal that I didn’t quite catch and cackled as she sped us to the main room of the house, a sort of kitchen-dining-living room combo. I heard the rumble of my father’s chuckle chase after us and he was close behind it. I allowed myself a small smile. It was hard to stay grumpy when surrounded by Tina’s aura of whimsy. Besides, I decided that if it really was my ‘System Day’ then I should at least try to enjoy it.
It’s either that or let the anticipation drive me insane.
Apart from spending the day together as a family, there were a couple of events that stood out as celebratory. My personal favorite was the food. Specifically, I was given regular food for the first time. Never before had mushy purple paste that tasted vaguely of carrots reached such culinary heights! I could only hope the trend would continue. My regular feedings were getting harder to repress the more my brain developed.
Shortly after the meal, Tina sat on the ground with me in her lap. When I leaned back against her it was with the dazed comfort of the recently full. Such was my contentment that I barely noticed when her fingers gently wrapped around my wrists. I started to clap. It was an anticipatory clap, the kind you’d hear at a sporting event. Tina was marionetting me like a clumsy puppet but I decided to let it continue without causing a fuss. What can I say? The food put me in a cooperative mood. Tina started chanting something at my father who obliged whatever the request was by producing twelve wooden coins from a pouch tied to his belt. He organized the coins on the floor in an even line and Tina leaned me forward to get a look at them. Each one had a simple image seemingly hand carved into its face.
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The images reminded me of the pictographs you’d see on old-timey store signs. I couldn’t decipher all of them, but they probably had some kind of cultural significance.
That one looks kind of like an anvil and… is that one a cow, or something?
I turned my head to look up at Tina who had started watching me expectantly. Something about the situation felt familiar and had the ring of superstition to it.
Ohh, okay, I think I know what this is.
I scanned the collection of coins again. One had three weapons intersecting each other; an axe, sword, and spear. My father used an axe so I reasoned they’d probably find it adorable if I picked it. I squirmed in Tina’s grasp and grabbed at the coin. A repeat of the earlier cheer that I was expecting for ‘choosing my future’ didn’t come. Just the opposite. It got eerily quiet. My mother’s gentle grip on me tightened, not enough to hurt, but it was uncomfortable. She loosened up almost immediately but something had rattled her. I looked up at my father. His eyes were downcast and his hands were balled into fists.
Did I do something wrong?
Tina coughed pointedly and my father finally noticed me staring at him. A forced smile covered his concern and he began to politely clap for my tiny accomplishment. The actions of adults at baby parties were one big performance. I knew it and was guilty of it in my first life, but I let my worried excitement cloud my mind to it. As children, we sometimes forget that our parents have their own lives, desires, worries and regrets. Even though I knew better that time around I still stumbled into a fuck up. My father had some baggage.
The rest of the day passed by without incident. My parents packed away the coins and subjected me to the catalog of vaguely familiar baby activities they knew. I played along and laughed at every not-peekaboo, but I couldn’t get that harrowed expression out of my head. It’s like I said, the actions of adults at baby parties are one big performance.
***
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:25:21
My eyes watered as I watched the System Window. Nervous anxiety threatened disaster if I peeled my gaze away and somehow missed the moment the last second passed. It was late and I had to struggle to stay awake. Sleep was a primal need and my infantile body wasn’t used to resisting it. I knew academically that sleep and rest were important for a baby so most days I just surrendered to the urge. Sleep was a good way to pass the time. Thinking that I could just stave it off when I needed to was arrogant. I’d flown too close to the sleepy Sun.
I embraced the panic. I embraced the anxiety. I tried to fuel it without letting it cloud my judgment. It was the only thing keeping me awake. I’d taken a nap earlier in the day, shortly after the game with the wooden coins. Evidently, it wasn’t enough. I needed a second nap, but when I started feeling the allure of slumber and saw my System countdown still had hours remaining I didn’t trust that I’d wake up in time.
Part of me, the sleepy part, argued that I should just wait until morning. I could give in to sleep and approach the Core Skill Selection with a well rested mind. If it weren’t for the events of my System Day, I might have listened to it. The incident with the wooden coins held me back.
Why have a superstitious game like that in the first place?
It had been nagging at me. The System Window clearly said ‘Core Skill Selection’ which, to me, implied some kind of choice. Choice and superstition didn’t always mix well in my experience. In my younger… er… my first younger years, I’d avoided a handful of second dates with women who tried to justify poor choices as a symptom of the position of the stars. I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d missed something, even though it was right there in plain Engl-
Wait, why the fuck is my System in English?
I let my mind spiral around the countless possible answers to countless possible questions as the timer in my System Window ticked ever downwards. So far, my experience with System literature was proving about as useful as grundle-flavored toothpaste. Just because I knew how things might play out in the broadest of all possible strokes didn’t exactly amount to much when I had to live it.
***
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:01:01
One minute left. One minute left. One minute left.
My heart rate started to rise as that final minute digit turned into a zero. I could only hope I’d get some kind of second wind before the seconds followed suit. I was exhausted so I tried shaking my limbs out. It was a risky move, the movement would ultimately tire me out even more but I didn’t need to plan for a marathon. I just needed to get my blood pumping and hold on for a little while longer.
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:00:30
There was less than half a minute left until I’d finally get some answers. I risked a quick glance through the bars of my crib. I didn’t see any sign of my parents who’d already turned in for the night, so it seemed unlikely they knew the specifics of my timer beyond the day it was due to expire. A sleeping Vigil stirred briefly from his place next to my crib. I returned my focus to the System.
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:00:10
Any second now.
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:00:05
Almost there!
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:00:01
Here we go!
Time Until Core Skill Selection
0:00:00:00
Prepare for Core Skill Selection