Evan had come to realize he was not as durable as Trevor and Kyle. Physical enhancement probably worked differently on different body types, or something. Well it was called enhancement, maybe it just made what your body was already good at...better? Tough to tell. But absolutely none of that mattered right now, because Evan was about to hit the ground. Hard. And he wasn't actually positive he could survive the impact.

So he grabbed a branch. It wasn't enough to stop him, but it did slow him down and change the direction of his momentum. He bounced off the trunks of a couple of tress and finally landed in the dirt. Just for fun, he did the whole superhero landing, because he'd always wanted to do that.

“Okay that was pretty awesome,” Evan muttered to himself. “The question is what do I do now...getting out of the forest might make the most sense, but is it actually the move I get the most out of? Tough call.”

Evan was distracted from his thoughts by an enormous crash, and the sound of someone yelling. It sounded like they were trying to make words, but something was making their voice muffled. Evan followed the sound to find Jenny hanging upside down in a tree, her shirt dangling down over her face, giving him a view of...

Well, he'd seen them before right? Mount Genie Mammaries. The Pinkish-Purple Rockies. Of course last time Jenny had been in human disguise so they'd been more of a dusky caramel, with an illusion over them, and he'd only seen them for a second so maybe he was technically seeing them for the first time? The lecherous glee of what he thought of as the old him slid across his brain, but he forced himself to focus. He was past that now, right? He had bigger plans, bigger goals, more opportunities. He wasn't going to sit here drooling over Kyle's Girlfriend's rack, he wasn't that guy anymore.

Mostly.

He walked up and grabbed the shirt, pulling it off of Jenny's face. That got him a shriek and a face full of bright, dancing lights like a maniac kaleidoscope. The swirling, sparkling geometry almost made him hurl as he stumbled away from her.

“Oh Evan!” Jenny said. “I didn't gmpf rmf frrf fff.”

“Shirt fell in your mouth again didn't it?” Evan said as his vision cleared. “Damn, that spell hits hard, I'm gonna have to remember that. Come on, let me help you down.”

“Frfff!”

Evan grabbed Jenny's shoulders this time, helping her down from the tree and setting her on the ground. She tucked her chest away hurriedly, glancing at Evan.

“I thought you didn't mind having those out,” Evan said.

“I don't think Kyle would like having you stare at them,” Jenny said. “He wouldn't say anything because he's trying to protect my culture, and I'll stash them because I'm trying to respect him.”

“And besides,” Evan muttered. “It's me looking. Alright fine, what do we do now?”

“I'm going to find Kyle,” Jenny said, pointing into the forest. “He's in that direction. And then we have to save Dr. Myrden.”

“Yeah is it doctor or mister?” Evan said. “I feel like we've used both a whole lot.”

“I think it's technically doctor but we used mister by mistake a few times and he never corrected us,” Jenny shrugged. “Is this important right now? We're under attack.”

“Good point,” Evan said. “Alright, let's go get Kyle.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

The two of them walked off into the forest together, unaware of the delicate negotiations Dr...or, if you preferred, Mr...Myrden was conducting on their behalf. After they'd been walking for a few minutes in silence, Evan finally gave a deep sigh.

“Look let's get this over with,” he turned to Jenny. “You don't like me very much, do you?”

Jenny looked at him for a moment and hesitated, which was really all the answer Evan needed. Jenny being Jenny, she would normally have responded with a loud, shrieking “no!” And then maybe an attempted hug. But she hesitated, so basically Evan had his answer.

“I don't know,” Jenny finally said. “I mean, you're Evan and Betty's best friend. And you're not mean, or anything. And the stuff I noticed when we first meant, I mean, I know you've been trying to get better with it! I know you are! But when I first met you you were...”

“Small,” Evan said bitterly. “Creepy.”

“Small isn't something that bothers me,” Jenny said. “I don't know about creepy, exactly, at least not the way you mean it. But when I first met you, you were trying to grope women and spy on them. Constantly. Everyone seemed to laugh it off, but it was still...look, if it was the era I came from, nobody would have batted an eye. Of course that's how men should treat women, everyone knew that.

“But it's thousands and thousands of years later, now. And it's better. Most people seem to have learned better now, so...you should too. Besides, the way you perv after women it seemed a little...off.I'm sorry, I don't know what else to call it, there was something extra hungry in it.

“But you're with Goldie now! And you definitely haven't been leching the same way! So I think maybe you were just in a bad place, and needed a boost to get you out of it? But first impressions are hard to forget. So really I guess it's my fault, I'm not respecting all the progress you made! So I'll try to be better from now on.”

Evan opened his mouth to speak.

“This would not be a good time to ask to see my breasts, even if you're joking.”

“Yeah,” Evan said with a sheepish grin. “You're probably right, sorry. I couldn't resist, the joke was right there. But is that really what you thought of me when we first met?”

Jenny gave him a long look.

“Think about it Evan,” she said. “Really think about it. If it had been you instead of Kyle, the old you, what would your wish have been?”

“We don't even actually know what Kyle's wish was!”

“Still,” Jenny pressed, and Evan sighed.

“Yeah okay,” Evan admitted. “Probably something messed up. Mind control powers maybe. But you're right Jenny, I'm trying. I'm not the guy constantly trying to grab Ammeline's ass in chemistry class anymore. You're right, I was in a...a dark place. I've been in a dark place for a while. But this? All of this? Despite how crazy and dangerous it is? I think it's the light in the darkness I needed. I can finally start working towards what I really want now.”

“Well good! Jenny said. “Let's look out!”

She shoved Evan to side, which was unnecessary. His enhanced body had better reflexes than she did, so as they were both dodging her threw her to the side. Bamboo shoots shot up from the ground where they had both been standing moments ago, sharpened at the tip.

“Sorry I couldn't take the therapy session anymore,” Sylvanandra said, walking out of the shadows. “Hey, how was that? I mean I figured I should make some kind of rude, evil comment about your conversation when I walked out to fight you guys, so I went with that one. I mean I only had a second to think it up, but it was pretty good right? I'm pretty good at this evil villain dialogue thing!”

“The elf!” Evan said. “Why did the crazy elf come after us?”

“I think that's just a copy,” Jenny said. “She doesn't feel nearly as powerful.”

“Yep!” She laughed. “I'm just a copy. I mean, I'm actually a part of the original body's consciousness sent to inhabit a body made of wood and shadows, and it's an incredibly powerful feat of magic that even the crusty old wizard back at the camp couldn't pull off if he wanted to, but you know yeah. I'm just a copy.”

“You're here to take me back,” Jenny said,

“Honestly you almost don't matter,” Sylvanandra said dismissively. “I mean if we kill your master, and take your lamp, there is exactly shit all you can do about us making a wish. So actually capturing you isn't as much of a big deal as killing that Kyle kid is. But I really did overhear your conversation, and I thought I could offer a different perspective on what you were talking about.”

“What are you talking about?” Evan demanded. “What perspective?”

Sylvanandra lifted her top to show Evan her breasts.

“What do you think?” Sylvanandra said. “Not as big as Miss Geniejuggs over here, but not bad for shadows and sawdust right? I think the real ones might be a little perkier, I'll have to check once I rejoin with the original.”

“What does this have to do with anything!?” Jenny demanded.

“It has everything to do with everything!” the elf let her top drop down. “Why not grab this chicks ass, if you want? Why not come over here and try to grab my tits? I mean I'll kill you if you do, but I plan on killing you anyway so why the hell not? Why let this fucking normies try and tell you who to be? So you putting your hands on hot chicks, I can dig it.

“Everyone's so caught up with rules. From you all the way up to the fucking Uzbedis. You wanna know what the rules are? Being strong. That's it, that's the rules. Right now Uzbedi is so so strong it gets to tell everyone else how to live, and it's boring.We're gonna make a world where your friend here can grope all the ass he wants, if he's strong enough to do it. And if she doesn't want her ass groped she'd better be strong enough to make him stop. Because anything else is just stupid.”

“So that's what you're fighting for?” Jenny asked. “Global anarchy?”

“Yeah sure,” Sylvanandra waved her hand. “That. Eventually. First we've got to get rid of the Uzbedis. Which, I mean, nobody likes them and their stupid rules and their stupid conspiracy to keep magic a secret, so everybody should be on our side! We can worry about getting rid of all the governments and stuff later. So how about it? Ready to grab the genie chick and come to my side? I'll trade you thirty whole seconds of groping elf tits.”

Evan sighed.

“You know I think there was a time I would have jumped for that offer,” he admitted. “But I'm kind of a different person now.”

“Too bad,” Sylvanandra shrugged. “Guess you gotta die.”