It was late at night by the time Kyle and Jenny made their way home from Tanya's house. Jenny was hanging off his arm, and he found it strange how awkward and nervous that still made him. They'd slept together, and even if they hadn't he'd fought horrible monsters. Why should having a girl hanging off his arm still make him nervous? A girl who'd made it perfectly plain how much she enjoyed his company? It made no sense.

But the nervousness came a close second to the warm sensation of having her near him, the heat of her body a small part of the tinkling light that washed through him where they touched. He realized he was smiling, a big stupid idiot grin that made him look like a complete dope, and he couldn't bring himself to feel embarrassed.

“Do you think Tanya will figure out how to train you?” Jenny asked.

“No idea,” Kyle sighed. “I don't know how this stuff works. A couple of months ago I didn't even think magic existed.”

“And now you're using it to cheat when we have sex,” Jenny giggled.

“Excuse me!” Kyle said, in a mock offended tone. “Cheat!?”

“Well you can literally feel what I'm feeling,” Jenny said. “What else would you call it? Most guys have to guess that kind of thing. They can't just psychically find a woman's weak spots.”

“So that's cheating against other guys,” Kyle said.

“It's cheating against me too,” Jenny said. “How am I supposed to keep you guessing about how well you're doing?”

“Is that a thing!?” Kyle asked, his alarm now only half joking. “Is that really a thing girls do!?”

“Just one of many games your cheating makes impossible,” she said.

“Tell you what,” Kyle said. “When I get you home, how about I show you what it looks like when I'm really cheating?”

“Excuse me,” Jenny said. “Yesterday you still had your virginity. I know, I took it.”

“You were just complaining about all my unfair advantages,” Kyle said. “I think that makes us even.”

“Oh really?” Jenny squinted at him. “Tell you what. Once I get you home, I'll show you what it looks like when I'm cheating, then we'll see...”

Kyle looked up in alarm when he saw the silhouette of a person in the streetlight. Not that Rolling Hills wasn't a safe town, if anything people complained it was too boring and safe. Normally. After a knock down drag out fight with a crazed efreet mutant, Kyle wasn't in the mood to leave things like that to chance. But the old man who's face became clear in the light didn't seem dangerous at all. He had no mustache but a fluffy white chin beard that stood out brightly against skin the deep dark color of coal tar. He had a big round nose, and brown eyes that shimmered with a friendly twinkle. He wore a suit and hat that were all a matching deep burgundy red color.

The strangest thing about him was his cane. A long thin rod of brown wood, topped by a silver handle shaped like the head of a duck.

“Good evening,” the man said, tipping his hat

“Uh, evening sir,” Kyle said, nodding in response. “Excuse us.”

“No matter no matter,” the old man said. “It does an old man's heart good to see a young couple walking arm and arm. Gives a man hope for the world.”

“What a nice thing to say!” Jenny said as they passed the old man. They were only a few paces past him when the old man spoke again.

“Of course it tears an old man's heart out to see someone so gifted throwing his power around like a monkey with a sack of beans.”

Kyle felt a sudden spike of danger and threw Jenny to the side, whirling around to face the threat. The old man was almost on him, bringing his cane down towards Kyle's skull. Kyle crossed his arms and blocked it.

The impact forced him to his knees.

“Good instincts,” the old man said. “You protected the genie first.”

“Who are you?” Kyle demanded.

“I'm the one who's attacking you, boy,” the old man laughed. “Does anything else matter?”

The tip of the old man's shoe caught Kyle in the upper stomach and he stumbled back wheezing.

“What the hell was that?” Kyle choked. “You didn't even...that didn't feel enhanced...”

“Typical,” the old man shook his head. “You survive a few bullets and a couple of monster punches and you think you're invincible. Well you're not, boy! You're not invincible, you're not indestructible, and you're not a god. You're a human. I kicked you in the bottom of your sternum, boy. That's the bone that connects all your ribs together in your front. Kick a human in the base of the sternum it'll hurt like hell and knock the air out of you. You think just because a blow can't break your skin it can't mess you up? Case in point.”

Kyle stood up and tried to lunge, but the man's cane poked out and caught him in the throat. Kyle choked and took another step back.

“Close your throat and your brain starts to panic,” The old man shook his head. “You could probably survive for hours without a breath, but your body is still a monkey with delusions of grandeur just like everybody else. Same instincts, same weaknesses. I'm disappointed, boy. An efreet isn't an easy enemy, I expected more from you. The way things are going I'll win without my nodes.”

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“Are you,” Kyle coughed, and tried again. “Are you working with him? Are you here for the lamp?

“Let's say I am,” The old man grinned. “What the hell do you plan on doing about it, exactly?”

“Jenny get out of here!” Kyle said, charging for the suddenly very, very sinister old man with the fluffy white beard. The old man scoffed, raising his staff up high over his head. The glowing, transparent image of an enormous beast appeared from the top of it, wings spread wide, glaring down at him across it's colossal bill.

It was a duck.

“What?” Kyle sputtered, staring at the enormous duck and its disdainful expression. He only paused for half a second, but it was too much. The duck moved like lightning, leaning forward and pecking him in the skull with it's bill. The impact forced Kyle to the ground, but the huge duck didn't stop there. It pecked him over and over, hammering him into a crater in the dirt.

“Pathetic,” the old man said, as Kyle pulled himself up from the dirt.

“Kyle!” Jenny screamed, and he whirled around to see her being carried off by a flock of ducks. Real ducks, this time, but with oddly glowing eyes. Without hesitation Kyle bolted, leaving a cloud of dust and cracked stone as he poured all his power into his run and tackled Jenny out of the ducks and brought her back down to the ground.

“Behind you!” Jenny shouted, throwing up her arm sparkling with pinkish magical energy. Their attacker was inches behind Kyle, closing in. The familiar aura of Jenny's illusion spells appeared around the old man's eyes, but only for a moment. He shook it off and kicked Kyle in the chest, sending both him and Jenny flying.

“Do you have any idea how much stronger than me you are?” the old man said. “The gap is almost ridiculous. But you have no idea how to use that power. And no matter how strong, an unskilled brute will fall to a skilled fighter, every time.”

“Who the hell are you?” Kyle damanded.

“Me?” The old man grinned. “I am your worst nightmare. The storm of sorrows. Misfortune made flesh, looming above your life like the storm cloud that heralds the all consuming flood.”

“DAD!?”

Tanya stood a little way down the street, staring wide eyed at the old man stand over Kyle and Jenny.

“Oh hey honey!” he said, his eyes turning bright. “Are you alright? How have you been doing? Sorry I was gone so long this time.”

“Dad what the hell are you doing!?” She demanded.

“Just checking out the new guy,” he said. “Just a teachable moment, that's all.”

“Wait,” Kyle said, helping Jenny stand as he pulled himself to his feet. “Wait. You're Tanya's dad? You're Doctor Myrden?”

“People call me doctor,” Dr. Myrden said, wiping off the top of the duck-handle on his cane. “But I prefer to think of myself as a quack.”

“Kyle just survived a magical duel!” Tanya said.

“Just barely,” Dr. Myrden said grimly. “By the skin of his teeth. He has no idea how to use his power. Blessed with nodes like that and completely clueless.”

“I kind of wish Evan was here,” Jenny said wistfully.

“I don't,” Kyle grimmaced. “But sir, Doctor...what are you..”

Without even looking in his direction Dr. Myrden stabbed out with his cane and a duck of crackling lightning caught Kyle in the chest.

“You're not ready to teach yet honey,” Dr. Myrden said to Tanya, completely ignoring Kyle and Jenny. “You've only got the most basic grasp of node mechanics, arcane theory, or even battle tactics really. You've been in a few low level scuffles, but this was bigger than I'd ever trained you for.”

“We won,” Tanya glared at her father.

“You did!” Dr. Myrden nodded. “But a lot of that was luck. Your opponent was half a child, and didn't have much better idea of how to use his powers than your friend does. Which would not have been the case if you'd fought him a day later, and the human and efreet memories had a chance to fully merge with each other. You almost died, boy.”

He turned to Kyle so suddenly, Kyle flinched.

“You did die really,” the old man said. “It took a genie wish to bring you back. And you!”

“Eep!” Jenny yelped as he pointed his cane at her.

“You have no idea how to use the powers you were born with! The Spooks showed me the video. Plus, you're his familiar now. A genie familiar hasn't been seen in thousands of years. You should be much, much more help in combat than you are. Your combined power should be enough to decide battles between empires. And you can't even handle one old man.”

“I did my best,” Tanya said. “And in case you didn't notice, you weren't here.”

“I suppose that's fair, but...”

“Does anyone care that I'm getting my ass kick?” Kyle asked.

“I care!” Jenny said encouragingly. Then she shrieked and started batting at her hair to chase away the ghostly duck who had flown up and started pecking her.

“You're an archmage!” Tanya said. “Of course going up against you isn't a fair fight!”

“Do you think he'll never have to face an archmage?” Dr. Myrden asked. “Do you think archmages by the hundreds won't be after the last genie?”

“He's right,” Kyle said, holding the struggling phantom duck in both hands. “I mean I don't think he's being fair to you, Tanya, if it wasn't for you I'd already be dead. But he's right. We already know people are after the lamp. I was overconfident when we were talking during training. I guess...I dunno. I guess after getting all this power, I felt invincible.”

“That's very common,” Dr. Myrden said. “It's why most young magic users die. Overconfidence.”

“And not just that,” Kyle said. “I don't really want to fight, if I don't have to. But I guess I have to, don't I?”

“That or seal Jenny away,” Dr. Myrden said. “But it's clear you'll never do that. The love is coming off you in waves. It's enough to make an old man jealous.”

“Kyle...” Jenny put his hand on her arm.

“We've already been over all that,” Kyle said. “Even before we were together, I would never do that to her. It's not a fair.”

“A lot of things in life aren't fair,” Dr. Myrden said. “But you've made a choice. That choice comes with consequences. If you want to make it happen, you'll have to come into your power. It's going to take a god to survive what's coming your way.”

“So I've got to become a god?” Kyle said, clenching his fists. “How do I do that?”

Dr. Myrden stared at him for a moment. Then he broke out into a deep, booming laugh.

“I like him!” Dr. Myrden said. “Tanya honey, how come you let someone else get to him first?”

“Dad,” Tanya rolled her eyes.

“Is he going for Uzbedi marriage rules? Your grandmother was a second wife and she was very happy, just saying...”

“DAD!” Tanya snapped, stomping her feet.

“It can be done boy,” the old man ignored his daughter. “You've got the raw power for it. Most people die trying, though.”

“Well it sounds like you're offering to teach me,” Kyle said. “And I'd be happy to take you up on it.”

“Excellent!” Dr. Myrden said, clapping his hand together. “Well we might as well get started!”

The ghostly duck in Kyle's hands turned into a swirl of energy. Dr. Myrden jumped into the air and landed on the back of a newly formed ghost duck, this one the size of a buss. It leaned down with an open beak to swallow Kyle and Jenny hole. Within seconds they were floating in the center of the transparent bird as Dr. Myrden landed on its back.

“Dad wait!” Tanya said.

“I'll be taking them to the cabin honey!” Dr. Myrden said. “I already left some training materials for your other friends back at the house. Use the lesson plans I left behind, this shouldn't take more than a couple of months.”

“A couple of months!?” Tanya said. “But...”

The enormous duck flapped its wings, taking off into the air, and within seconds it was a sparkling dot in the distance.

“....but we didn't even get to have dinner,” Tanya sighed sadly.