“So start talking,” Kyle said once they were in the cab and driving.

“When we get home,” his grandfather said.

“No,” Kyle insisted. “Now. My worst enemy just showed up with magical fire powers out of nowhere and tried to kill me. The time for holding things back is officially over.”

“I don't know anything about that,” the old man scratched the back of his head. “Seriously, boy, I only know so much. Anyone in the antique business knows about magic. They have to, where do you think all the mystical artifacts turn up? And about Uzbedi, of course. They've got a lock on the magical antiques market. Oh they pay pretty good, but if you sell to anyone else they come after you hard.”

“So you knew about magic because of your work,” Kyle nodded. “Which doesn't answer the question of where the hell you've beenthe past few days.”

“I thought that was obvious boy,” he sounded surprised. “I've been in Uzbedi.”

“You have?” Jenny asked eagerly. “What's it like?”

“Same as always,” his grandfather said. “Oh. I suppose probably a lot different since the last time you were there. But I mostly just saw the airport and the old palace. I had to register a magical artifact. The Uzbedi's aren't complete jerks. If someone gets bound to a magical artifact somehow, so they can't take it without killing somebody, they'll leave it where it is. But they want a record of where it is, so they can keep an eye on things.”

“Me,” Jenny realized. “I'm the magical artifact. You were registering me.”

“Well the lamp technically,” his grandfather shrugged. “But yeah, you've got the basic idea.”

“So what about Danny?” Kyle pressed. “And the efreet?”

“I don't know,” his Grandfather said. “Got no idea about any of that. Except one, but I'm sure you thought of it already.”

Kyle and Jenny caught each other's eyes. They had, but they hadn't wanted to say it out loud.

Somehow, this all must be fallout from Kyle's wish.

And then...weeks passed. And the abnormal became normal.

“HYAAAHHHHH!”

The whole world was spin wildy right up until the moment Kyle's head hit the mat. It didn't hurt, but it felt like it should have. He was a lot less concerned about the wound to his dignity. After the past couple of weeks he was pretty sure it was about as damaged as it could.

“Ow,” he said. Out of protest, in the name of the pain he ought to be feeling.

“You're doing really well,” Trevor told him, reaching out a hand. “Most people don't learn this fast. It's just, you know. I'm lots better than you.”

“Thanks,” Kyle laughed, accepting the hand.

“And the fact that I've been doing this my whole life probably has something to do with it,” Trevor admitted with a shrug.

“Yeah little bit,” Kyle said, looking around the room. They were in the large empty hall in Tanya's basement where they'd met the first time they came to practice magic. All around them the others were practicing in various ways. Tanya sat with Betty on the ground, waving their hands over the sleeping five elements cat. Jenny, her nodes already set to her natural magical powers, had decided she should learn martial arts as well. She was doing some practices Trevor ha given her, kicking a wooden post over and over. Evan had a stack of books, which he was using to expand the total knowledge stored in his magical computer brain.

“You still don't want to try learning anything yourself?” Kyle asked.

“It does look kinda fun,” Trevor shook his head. “I mean who wouldn't want magic powers? But everything I said is still true, even after Danny....”

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “Danny.”

“Oh hell I'm sorry man,” Trevor shook his head.

“No I mean...” Kyle sighed. “What are we supposed to do? Never talk about it?”

Tanya had investigated the portal summoned by Danny's blood—she hadn't said how—and had determined it was a spell cast on him by the same efreet they'd fought, and not a magical power of Danny's. Danny's house burning down the same day was obviously connected, they didn't know how. This meant the efreet was still lurking around somewhere, and was probably the real threat, but Kyle's thoughts kept wandering back to Danny just the same. Strangely enough, after everything, what Kyle felt most was...guilty.

Alright, Danny had obviously been a psycho already. But was there anything Kyle could have done better? Could he have prevented everything? Saved Danny's mother? Helped Danny? He tried to push the thoughts aside, brush them under the mental carpet. They went, but they weren't happy about it, peeking sullenly out from under the fabric.

“I do not understand,” Tanya sighed, ceasing her chanting and looking across at Betty. “Your bond is strong. Very strong. But he won't respond to your mental commands.”

“Is that so weird?” Evan asked from his pile of books. “I mean, it's a cat.”

“It could be that,” Tanya sighed. “I don't know much about five elements cats. Just not listening to commands is pretty normal cat behavior.”

“I am getting more information through our bond at least,” Betty said. “For example, I now understand that his name is Moonlight.”

“Mrow,” the cat complained, looking up at her.

“Well he says his name is actually hunter by moonlight who rends more rodents than can be counted on a thousand paws,” Betty corrected. “But that is very difficult to say.”

The cat seemed to shrug again, then went back to licking his paw.

“Let's just finish up for the day,” Tanya sighed. “Everyone put everything back where you found it.”

“That was fun!” Jenny said while everyone else was packing up. “Do you think Betty will let me hold the kitty?”

“I don't know how familiars work,” Kyle said. “Is it okay to pet someone's familiar? Please be very careful that nothing you are about to say contains the word pussy.”

“But I was just going to say I bed she'd enjoy it if I....”

“I knew it!” Kyle said. “You are a dirty joke magnet, you know that Jenny? You attract them from across the room, and the next thing you know it's all over your face.”

Kyle came up short.

“Dammit,” he sighed. “I fell right into that one, didn't I? I've got no one to blame but myself.”

“What do you mean?” Jenny asked blankly. “Anyway, something's got Betty all excited.”

Kyle ignored that with every ounce of will that he possessed and turned his focus to Betty as they walked out of Tanya's house. She was acting agitated. So agitated that even someone who didn't know her well would noticed, breaking the monotone flatness she usually gave off. The cat in her arms was staring straight up at her face, and although it wasn't making a sound he could almost swear that it was...scolding her.

“Is the cat doing something bad?” Kyle asked.

“Probably not,” Jenny said. “Familiars act as advisers to their masters. He's probably just giving Betty some advice.”

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“What kind of advice would get her like that?” Kyle wondered, but then the cat reached up a paw and turned Betty's head in Evan's direction. Then he understood.

To his surprise, Betty started moving towards Evan with what could only be called purpose.

“Ev-Evan!” Betty stammered.

“What's up?” Evan asked.

“Well it was simply that for some time I have noticed your more positive qualities, in the light of everything you have experienced, and I was wondering if perhaps you might be interested in, even though it is not normally the type of activity you engage in, perhaps you would enjoy...”

Moonlight reached up a paw and slapped Betty across the face.

“I was wondering if you would please come to the spring dance with me!” Betty blurted out, shouting so hard her eyes closed and her fists clenched in front of her. In the aftermath of her outburst the world seemed to go totally quiet, an explosion of silence that burst out from Betty and Evan until it blanketed the entire world. All eyes fell on Evan, who sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

“Ah hell Betty,” Evan said. “I don't, I mean...I already asked somebody.”

Kevin's entire world came to a screeching halt. When did thishappen?

“I asked Goldie,” Evan said. “From the chess club. I mean, I sort of got into Chess ever since I got the mental enhancement, and she kept asking me for rematches, so we kinda got to know each other and...yeah.” Evan's face looked like he was trying to have two expressions at the same time. One sympathetic and making a desperate apology, the other terrified and desperately trying to run away. “Sorry.”

Every line on Betty's body had gone still.

“Th-there is no need to apologize,” Betty said, adjusting her glasses. “I should of course had considered something like that must have happened. If you will all please excuse me.”

And then she didn't exactly run away, but it was a pretty fast escape all the same.

Kyle tried to go after Betty, but he couldn't find where she went and she wasn't answering her phone. Finally he and Jenny just went back to the antique shop, which turned out to be the right call because they found Betty sitting on the steps hanging her head in her hands. Moonlight stood on the steps beside her, gently stroking her with a paw like she was the cat.

“Betty!” Kyle said. “We were worried about you!”

“I am quite alright,” Betty said miserably. “I am, perhaps, reevaluating my life choices beginning with my birth and discovering that my existence is nothing but a long litany of terrible mistakes, but I am otherwise alright.”

“Awww,” Jenny sat down next to Betty and wrapped an arm around her. “I understand the words you say but never what you mean. But I know you're not feeling good.”

“Let's go inside,” Kyle suggested, opening the door to the antique shop. His grandfather looked up when they walked in and raised an eyebrow, but Kyle didn't have time for the dirty old man right now. They headed upstairs and collapsed on the couch together, Betty in the middle between Kyle and Jenny, Moonlight curled up in her lap.

“I would rather not discuss my misfortunes,” Betty said. “I would rather just sit here and watch anime.”

“Sure thing,” Kyle said. He'd never seen her this miserable in her entire life. “Got a preference”

“Forgotten Garden,” Betty said. “I would prefer to not think very hard. And I have not yet seen any of the new season.”

“Good choice,” Jenny nodded. “I'll make nuggets.”

“Chicken nuggets do not solve all of life's problems,” Kyle said.

“They solve most of them!”

“You can't fill the hole inside you with nuggets!”

“Watch me!”

“I believe I would like some chicken nuggets,” Betty said. “Or something to eat, at least.”

“Mrow.”

“Moonlight would also enjoy nuggets.”

“Is that alright for cats?” Kyle asked.

“Row.”

“He says he is not exactly a cat.”

The enjoyably pointless theme music of the new Forgotten Garden season started on the camera, scantily clad girls backflipping to give the camera brief panty shots before settling into a fighting formation and running towards an indistinct hulking shadow.

“Do we know who that is yet?” Betty asked. “Or are they simply attacking a generic monster?”

“There's someone lurking around in the shadows,” Kyle said. “But I don't know if that thing in the opening is anything important yet.”

“I do not understand people who skip the openings,” Betty shook her head.

“They don't want to get spoiled,” Kyle shrugged. “A lot of openings reveal things before the show does. I mean you can tell who's an important character just by seeing who's in the animation.”

“Yes but there is so much enjoyment to be had from that,” Betty said. “It can be like a puzzle, working out what will happen in the season from the images they decide to reveal.”

“Hey I'm right there with you,” Kyle shrugged. “I like trying to guess that the opening will look like for the anime when I read a manga sometimes, too.”

“I also enjoy that!” Betty said a slight smile tugging up at the corners of her mouth. They didn't so much fall as collapse into a frown. It was only a small frown, but on Betty's face it was like she was sobbing uncontrollably.

“I waited too long, didn't I?” Betty said. “You kept telling me.”

Kyle didn't know what to say to that, because it's hard to comfort someone when they're right.

“You are a very good friend Kyle,” Betty said. “I believe you may be my best friend. But Moonlight is a part of my soul. That's why he was able to convince me when you were not. Only when I had finally been convinced to overcome my reservations, it was already too late.”

“Look,” Kyle said. “I didn't expect Evan to ask someone else either.”

“That was a surprise,” Betty admitted. “And not a kind one. To Evan. If I had seen his positive qualities, other women might as well. I suppose I was like everyone else. I saw the three of us as somewhat pathetic.”

“You're not pathetic!” Jenny insisted, plopping down on the couch next to the two of them. “You're all amazing! We can put a curse on this Goldie girl if you want.”

Betty considered that for longer than Kyle was comfortable with.

“Mrow!” Midnight slapped Betty in the back of the head.

“No,” Betty finally said, ignoring the slap. “No I do not believe that would be productive.”

“Not even a little one?” Jenny suggested. “Nothing too bad! Or how about a curse on Evan?”

“Jenny!” Kyle said. “We don't curse our enemies if we can avoid it in the twenty first century.”

“Okay okay,” Jenny said. “But look, Betty, I know getting turned down sucks. But you've got friends, and anime, and chicken nuggets! That's not too bad, right?”

Betty cocked her head as if considering. Kyle was having a hard time figuring out what she was thinking again, which he considered a good sign.

“No,” Betty said. “I am still upset, but the situation is quite satisfactory.”

On the screen the main character had wound up on the floor underneath the queen of the dryads. She was not technically naked, wearing a long flowing robe, but since that robe was almost perfectly see through it hardly mattered. She was saying something about pollination and bringing new life to the forest.

“Aha,” betty said. “Exactly what we were just discussing. I was certain from the title she would be a villain, but I suspect she will be joining Kei's harem.”

“What?” Jenny blinked. “Oh, right. I still can't get used to the modern version of that word.”

“Yeah it basically just means polyamory these days,” Kyle waved a hand. “Porny stuff like this. Ecchi anime.”

“What's ecchi?” Jenny cocked her head curiously.

“You have been watching Hidden Garden, correct?” Betty adjusted her glasses. “Hidden Garden is ecchi. Suggestive situations, sometimes even actual intercourse, but in a light and playful manner.”

“Ohhh like how Kei keeps winding up underneath the girls,” Jenny nodded. “And walking in on them naked all the time, but they still never remember to lock the doors.”

“No one in an ecchi anime ever remembers to lock the doors,” Kyle laughed. “Ever. It's a basic rule.”

“Not that it normally matters since they wind up in compromising positions all the same,” Betty added.

“I've noticed,” Jenny giggled. On screen Kei had escaped the dryad queen, but was now running naked through the halls of her palace. The camera focused a lot less on him than it did on the cleavage of the implausibly well endowed dryads poking their heads out of their rooms to see what all the commotion was about.

Kyle was never entirely certain how he ended up where he was next. He leaned forwards on the couch to pick something up off the table. He never remembered what he'd been looking for. And then Jenny always swore she hadn't moved her foot on purpose, but her foot slid under the table all the same, pushing on Kyle's ankle and throwing him off balance. His fall lasted only a second before his head landed on something warm and soft. It took a second for his brain to register the texture underneath his neck. A sweater.

His head hand landed directly on Betty's breasts. And they were, it turned out, much larger than they looked through the sweater she was always wearing. He had the inevitable male split second of confusion upon touching unexpected breasts, then the next inevitable split second where he wondered how long he could stay exactly where he was, and then another where he wondered if lesbians ever had these same problems.

“Oh sorry,” he said once his brain had gone through its ordinary checklist. “Are you?”

But he couldn't get up, because suddenly Jenny was on top of him. She straddled his waist, hands on his chest probably not intended to hold him in place but doing a good job all the same, especially when parts of his brain had no intention of resisting, the traitorous bastards.

“So like this?” Jenny asked, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “This is ecchi?”

Betty stop this! He thought desperately. I'm too jumbled up to say anything!

“This is certainly a similar kind of situation yes,” Betty said, shifting so Kyle's head was more comfortable against her chest. “Although I do not know how well I fit the part of an ecchi heroine.”

What? No! Kyle groaned in his own head. He shouldn't have expected help, when Betty got curious on a topic sense came a distant fifty third to all other considerations. She probably thought of this as an experiment.

“Normally of course,” Betty continued, “you would be rolling your hips in a more suggestive manner.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Kyle managed to say out loud.

“Oh right,” Jenny said. “You mean like thi--”

NOPE! Kyle's brain finally triggered into action. Nope nope nope. These pants are tight already and if she moves too much more I'm going to need new ones.

Apparently his body finally remembered he had super strength, because he was able to easily lift Jenny off him and put her on the floor while he shifted back up into a situation.

“Sorry I was getting a...cramp,” he said, leaning back and casually placing a pillow across his crotch. Jenny gave him an annoyed look, but she got back up on the couch beside him. Kyle felt like the air in the room was getting a little tight after that, especially since the action on the screen wasn't any less suggested than it had been a moment ago. Jenny didn't seem like talking either, so they sat watching the show for a few minutes in tense silence. It was Betty who chose to speak first.

“By “cramp” just now did you mean an erectio...”

“I meant cramp!!!”