“What’s your favorite animal?”

“To transform into?”

“Yes to transform into.”

I shrug: “Not sure. What’s yours?”

“Hm…. I like crows. They give you a good overview. Your fast and agile and no matter the surrounding, they always fit. And also,” he looks down at the bowl mush, "they eat meat.”

“Still on about that?”

“I don’t understand why you aren’t. Anyways, I’ve been thinking…”

“Not bad”

“Fuck off. No for real, we could just fly out to a field and grab a rabbit or two. There plenty right outside the city. I saw them when they brought us.”

“It’s not allowed”

“Don’t give me that”

“Trust me, if Niilan finds out, whatever he’ll do won’t be worth a good bite or two”

“But what if he never found out. It won’t take more than a few hours”

I don’t give him the dignity of a reply.

“I’ll do it, just you see. And then you’ll be begging me for a good bite two.”

“Don’t”

“You can’t stop me.”

“I’m serious. Don’t. All the trade from and to the city is brought to the gates, even the ones that fly. They must have a reason”

“Like they ever needed those before”

“I think I like phenixes”

“Hm?!”

“You asked what my favorite animal is. I like phenixes”

“I give up”

I shrug.

“So, why do you like phenixes then?”

“My mom always talked about them. She was convinced that they were our true form, bound in eternal transformation of life. Back when we were still gods. I’m not sure if I believe her, but the idea is charming”

“She had a lot of cool stories. Your mom.”

“She did.” A bit later I add: “I have a fight in a week”.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Getting cold feet?”

“No. But I won’t have time to train you. If you want to stick close and observe do, if not: don’t”

“Ay ay. Does that mean you’ll wear one of those stupid arena outfits as well?”

“Yes”

“That’s it? Come on. Where do you have it, I wanna see it!”

“No”

“You’re a buzz kill. Come on gonna be funny”

“That is not a very good reason.”

“Okay. Very well. I, Kara of whatever, promise to practice the entire day”

“Good thing you were going to do that regardless”

“Come on. What do you want? It’s not like I have any possessions I could give you”

I get up.

“I’m not gonna give you my food portion!”

“How about a favor then?”

“Well, that’s not very useful. There’s not much I could do; you can’t do yourself”

“I will make it work”

“I’m not gonna kill anybody for you”. His voice is suddenly laced with bitterness.

What? I bat my eyes. Once. Then Twice. “I meant something small. But if you don’t want to see it, fine by be.”

He sulks, the expression from before gone again: “Fuck you!!!”

“Was that a yes, or no?”

“Yes. Now show me that outfit!”

It’s a tacky thing, uncomfortable and useless. Big billowing pants and a more form fitting upper part, exposing my left shoulder and most of my arms as well as part of my torso. They like to see the wounds.

Like all Niilans fighters, its entirely white. But where theirs is undyed cream color, mine is artificially brightened. In contrast my skin seems even darker, shadows given form. It’s the only thing I like about the outfit.

“That’s not fair!”, he says, “why does yours actually look cool!”

“Does it?”

He grabs the cloth: “it’s better than mine at least”

“Main fighter perks I guess.”

“That waist thing is really stupid though!”

“I know.”

Footsteps

The boy turns: “I’ll get those perks from you. Just you wait”.

As he opens the door, he almost walks into Enya.

“What are you doing here?”, Kara says.

“Can we talk?”

“Fuck off!”, the boy says, as he tries to squeeze past him.

“Kara. I wanted to say I’m sorry. I should’ve given you time to grieve and process first”

The boys shoulder slams into Enya, forcing him to take a step back so Kara can pass: “Didn’t you hear me: FUCK OFF!” Then he’s off, slamming the sleeping chambre door behind him. A few of the other’s wince. Most pretend not to hear.

Enya steps inside, shuts them out: “I didn’t realize it would hurt him so much.”

I don’t reply.

“I knew it would be hard on him but…”

“It is the first person he lost like this”

“I guess. But I don’t know what more to do.”

I open the door: “If that is everything, I have to go train”,

His hand presses it shut: “Njra please. I want to talk this out.”

“I know”, then I force the door open. Two months.