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Walpurgisnacht
13. A fisher of men

13. A fisher of men

I dressed myself in various items and clothes accessories that I wouldn’t ever normally wear by themselves before standing in front of the mirror.

God I feel as disgusting as I look. If anyone I know sees me like this I just might give that thing my own heart… I caked my face in makeup and eyeliner fit for a clown, as much to disguise myself as to lure my target.

Dressing up like a slut is something so far beneath me, but I need to look deliberate. But Is this trying too hard? Would that be off putting? They might find it suspicious for someone as good as me to be showing interest in someone so depraved… then again I’ll sleep a lot better knowing I used the worst possible person to fulfill the ritual.

Someone who won’t be missed. But then I too must be someone who won't be missed, someone who no one will attempt to save. I can’t have anyone try and intervene nor point me out later either.

Ok. ok I can do this.

I just have to abandon my dignity and pride and pretend I’m everything I’m not.

I'll be an actor playing a role, instead of Vescuria, Witch of the black arts and conjurer of the abyss I’m… Victorique the bar skank.

Oh Christ I don’t know if I can do this…

No, what am I thinking?! Why am I worried about being seen dressed as a hoe?! I’m planning to fucking murder someone!

I can do this, what’s the life of some random creepo to Ellie- …even if she’s a lamey sports girl now.

It was my understanding that ‘dive’ was an undesirable adjective for an establishment that didn’t involve scuba gear but an internet search quickly shattered my illusions of this fact.

I set my destination to the skeeviest looking one and traveled there by bus.

No one tried to stop me or ask for my ID when I entered ‘Sgoon’, but I felt the eyes of the entire room hit me the instant I sat down at the bar. Not just the leers of the men but the veiled scorn of the women too, I think I overdid my outfit, by a lot.

The interior of the bar was dark and dank, the only source of illumination some kind of sourceless yet omnipresent dim red hue. The music genre was something of an experimental blend of ‘inside of falling airplane' and ‘broken coffee machine’. Considering also the damned souls within, if it wasn’t so cold it might have passed for an upper circle of hell.

Urgh…

Ok. I can do this. I have to do this.

I sat at the bar and skimmed the menu while I contemplated my courses of action. The items on display looked so awful I wondered if it was on purpose to make sure no one actually ordered anything.

So… Do I just go up to the creepiest guy and ask him to buy me a drink? Is that how people do these things?

Can I just wait for someone to come to me? How long is that gonna tak-?

“Hey there, I haven’t seen you around here before.” A young and reasonably normal looking man came up to the bar, he had glasses and dark hair, despite how plain he was, something about him immediately set off alarms.

“Nope hahaha, I’m new.”

Damn it! be cool!

“how do you like it?”

“it’s alright I guess…” for a shitehole

“yeah?”

“aye…”

“I love your accent, it's ah- Sicilian right?”

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“Scottish…”

“ah well I wasn’t far off.”

“mmm…”

“So what brings you here?”

“I don’t even know honestly… I’m just bored out of my mind you know…”

“You just got here.”

“Aye well, to be honest bars aren’t really my thing.”

“Then why did you come here?”

Fuck me do I have to do everything?!

“I thought I’d try it again but, I don’t really think I’m feeling it you know. There are more interesting places I think…”

“oh yeah?”

“I think I know this one place… it’s kind of a secret though…”

“Tell me more.”

“Well, I can’t tell you but.. I might be able to show you…” I said, trying my best to be seductive and mysterious.

“Well what are we standing around here for?”

“A-aye that sounds good.”

He took me out to his car, some crusty white shitebox. When he opened the passenger side for me I saw the floor was covered in junk.

There's no way anyone's going to miss this dude…

I directed him to the location of the fence.

Once we’re there I'll lure him by the pot and push him in, provided there's not too much noise it should be fairly simple and fairly clean.

Worst case scenario I’ll use my knife…

I can do this, I have to do this.

“It’s not often a girl as pretty as you comes by the Sgoon.”

“That's because there aren’t any girls as pretty as me.” and if there were, they sure as hell wouldn't be found dead in that place.

“Hah, can’t argue with that. so, you do this kind of thing often?”

Not in a million years, men should be queueing up for me, not forcing me to crawl down into some 5th rate garbage chute for attention. High quality men too, not a bunch of talentless jags.

“Well ach…” but do I say yes or no? Which is the most expeditious choice here? Does he want innocence or experience? Probably the latter, considering what I'm wearing and the dump I just went into.”

‘aye, you could say that… My friends call me a fisher of men.”

“So you're pretty wide then?”

“wha-? no! Not a fissure, a fisher!.”

“Oh, word.”

At least I’m not at risk of this guy figuring me out.

He put his hand on my thigh but I almost jumped out of my seat and he retracted it.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asked.

“Aye, y-yup I’m fine.”

“Have you ever actually done this before?”

“l-lots haha.”

“Come on be real with me here, you look terrified.”

“I-I’m just a wee anxious that’s all haha… I-it’s fine.”

“You are literally shaking, like you’re being electrocuted.”

“-I’m just cold that’s all.”

He sighed and pulled the car over into the street.

“what are you-?”

“-Come on, this isn’t what you want is it?” he asked me sincerely.

“no, no it’s just-”

“-You know you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“I-I don’t have a choice.”

“Of course you do. No one can force you to do anything you don’t want.”

“y-you don’t understand.”

“Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“you have no Idea…”

“You’re not ready, and that's ok, You’re allowed to take your own time.”

“I don’t have any time left.”

“You have plenty of time and you can find someone who will be happy to wait for you, someone who is right for you.”

“That’s not…”

“Look, why don’t I drop you off at home or some other place you feel safe.”

“…I…” my mouth hung open for a few moments.

I knew that letting him go would doom Ellie, but I also knew that I couldn’t kill him. I didn’t have it in me.

“…yeah ok.”

I directed him to drop me off by the fence near the pot.

“Are you sure you’re ok here?”

“Yeah… My house is nearby. I just have to make a stop somewhere first… thank you…”

“You’re welcome. be safe getting home.”

“I will… thank you again.”

I gave him a small wave as I stepped out of the car and made my way down the sidewalk. I waited for him to drive away before climbing the fence.