Volex hummed thoughtfully. "Ur-Priest. Ur-Priest. Ur-Priest... Hrm. It's ringing a bell... I'll have to check a few books."

She was a fascinating Cleric- most were old-fashioned traditionalists, and regarded modern innovations like the swivel chair with suspicion and disdain, yet here she was, using hers to turn around and rummage through her office bookshelf without having to get up.

"A very, very long time ago, so long ago that a Gold Dragon born at the time would have died of old age by now, there was a city called Ur," Volex explained, rifling through her bookshelf. "It wasn't the only city of its time, but it was the most important, and- admittedly perhaps by linguistic coincidence- its name entered into the Orcish tongue as a prefix meaning old, original, primitive... things like that."

"So, it could mean a member of the Priesthood of Ur, or it could just be an ancient Orcish tradition," I said.

"Might be neither," Volex said. "The prefix 'ur-' isn't that common in, well, Common, but it is a loanword we use. For all I know without the right book in my hand, it might be some Halfling Heresy from two thousand years ago."

"It doesn't leap out at you as immediately sinister or anything like that?" Elendar asked.

"A little, but in all honesty, divine Prestige Classes are ill-regarded in general," Volex said. "Ah, here's the book. Anyhow! Yes, while Clerics and Druids are indeed primary spellcasters just like you Wizards, we happen to have useful class features besides spellcasting, and so Prestige Classes do not actually hold much of any, well, prestige." She turned back around, setting the book on her desk and flipping through it, humming thoughtfully.

"I... wasn't aware of that," I said. "...Then, what does signify achievement and higher learning among Clerics and Druids?"

"One is typically considered an acolyte until one develops the ability to cast third level spells," Volex said. "Druids claim their tradition is more concerned with wild-shaping, but that comes online at exactly the same time as third level spells anyways."

"I see," I said. "...Do you mind if I ask a potentially personal question?"

"Go right ahead," Volex said.

"What deity do you worship?"

"Technically, none of them," Volex said. "My devotion is to the abstract concepts of Love and Beauty."

Two responses warred in my mind, and as a compromise, I said both of them. "Your devotion is quite evident, I must say. But... I thought Clerical magic required a deity to function."

"It helps, but it isn't necessary," Volex said. "You've heard stories about Clerics losing their spells when their god dies, I'm sure, but there are plenty of lesser-known accounts of Clerics whose god died without revoking the Cleric's spellcasting. A common thread is that the Clerics did not believe their gods to be dead- either they dismissed tales of their god's death as lies and chicanery, or they simply were not aware of any such tales in the first place."

"Huh," I said. "But then-"

"There is a school of thought on the Outer Planes, called the Athar, who believe that the gods are all upholding some manner of chicanery, and are not actually responsible for divine spellcasting," Volex continued. "Some among their number worship an entirely hypothetical deity called the Greater Unknown, who axiomatically cannot be known, rather than simply not currently being known. It may not exist. It may exist but have no agenda. It may have an agenda that has nothing to do with mortals and their actions. And yet, Athar Clerics of the Greater Unknown get their spells just fine."

I blinked, and turned to look at Elendar, who also looked rather taken aback.

"Ahhh, here we are. Ur-Priest. It is in fact a prestige class, but... Hrm. That's odd."

"What's odd?" I asked.

"It isn't a prestige class you add to Cleric to become better at Clerical magic, but rather, one you add to a class that isn't Cleric, to gain access to Clerical magic," Volex said. "A ten-level class, each level grants access to a new spell level of the Cleric's spell list. Minimum entry is at Level 6, so they catch up with ordinary Clerics at Level 11, and thereafter get ninth level spells at Level 14, three levels before Clerics get them."

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"...That sounds powerful," I said cautiously.

"Indeed," Volex said. "The exact requirements to take it are lost to time, however, and the only one that remains is having been trained by another Ur-Priest."

"..Lost to time?" Elendar asked. "Why would something like that be lost to time?"

"It doesn't say the reasons why, here, but it is quite clear that there was some sort of purge or witch hunt a few hundred years ago," Volex said. "The War of Black Roses. Hrm. Never heard of that one."

"I have," I said. "That was one of the sparks in the powderkeg that caused the Papal Wars that, itself, led to the creation of the modern Universal Church and the Pact of Red Faith. I'd never heard anything about Ur-Priests in my readings on the War of Black Roses, though..."

"Mmn. I think I know why, but Elendar looks confused," Volex said.

"Right, well. Historically, Orcs lived as feuding tribes on marginal lands, but every so often, a Dark Lord would rise, unite the Orcs, and lead them in a great war of conquest against the rest of the world. Invariably, this ended poorly for everyone, especially the Orcs, who always ended up back on their marginal lands. The War of Black Roses, three hundred and fifty years ago, was the last time a Dark Lord rose up... and the Orcs simply killed the Dark Lord right then and there. They slew the Dark Lord, they slew the Dark Lord's followers, and as their own religious structures preached the gospel of the Dark Lord, they slew every single last divine spellcaster in the Orcish lands... and apparently, that included the last of the Ur-Priests."

"Fascinating," Volex murmured.

"Hang on just one potion-brewing minute," Elendar protested. "Do you really expect me to believe that Orcs don't have Clerics anymore?"

"I mean, that was nearly four hundred years ago," I said. "Our Elf-dominated society has seen plenty of change in that time-frame; considering how Orcs don't live quite as long as Humans do, it stands to reason that their society changes much faster."

"These days, the Clerics from the Federation of Khar are devoted to concepts rather than gods, like myself," Volex said. "But! We're getting sidetracked. According to this book, you cannot make more Ur-Priests without an Ur-Priest to begin with. However, all of the Ur-Priests were killed in the War of Black Roses a few centuries ago. A war that Elendar has evidently never heard of." Volex leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk and her chin on her steepled fingers. "So, how precisely did you two hear about such an obscure heresy?"

I held my tongue; Elendar was the one in charge here, after all.

"...We were doing an investigation," Elendar said. "Many PhD candidates at the University have disappeared, all of them with abnormally high Wisdom scores. When I used a crystal ball to find one of them, fortune presented me with one winning a sparring match with another Wizard, and evidently gaining enough XP to take her first level in a prestige class her proctor called Ur-Priest."

"...Hrm," Volex said. "Considering the speed with which Ur-Priest gains spells, and the Alternate Source Spell feat for early entry into Mystic Theurge... This is actually a perfectly reasonable build."

"There's still the fundamental problem of the Mystic Theurge," I said. "You can only cast one spell at a time, and most Clerical spells simply are not of great use to a Wizard. The only good reason for a Wizard to want Clerical spellcasting is because they're the sort of arrogant that cannot fathom the idea of simply working with a Cleric if they need Clerical spells to get cast. An arrogance that is common in Wizards because Wizards frequently have mediocre Wisdom scores, and which is sorely lacking in any Wizard truly wise enough to actually amount to anything as a Cleric."

"Alas, Wisdom is not quite the cure for arrogance you seem to think it is," Volex lamented. "Humility and good judgement are immeasurable, at least on our character sheets. I have no trouble whatsoever that the nominally wise have fooled themselves into thinking they can stand alone."

"Whether or not it was actually wise to do so, there is still the fundamental problem at hand," Elendar said. "We now know that multiple doctoral candidates have dropped out because they were recruited into a dangerous, secretive cult using a long-lost form of Clerical magic. The question is... what do we do about this?"

"Bring this to the attention of the Magistry?" Volex suggested.

"Mmn. That... may not be terribly productive," Elendar said. "The Magistry is not quite so powerful as people are encouraged to think. Only ten Wizards capable of 7th level spellcasting remain in the Magistry; as Wizards gain more and more power, they frequently lose interest in the Prime Material Plane, and leave to go colonize Mount Celestia or accrue harems of Succubi. It may well be the case that the best response we can put together for this is everyone in this room."

"What, you intend to bring me with you?" Volex asked, taken aback.

"You are a twelfth-level Cleric, after all," Elendar said. "As my apprentice has just made clear to me, it's better for Wizards and Clerics to work together."

"I would like to advocate we perhaps bring more than just three people," I said. "Especially, say, someone who knows how to use a sword."

"I know how to use a sword," Elendar said.

"Really, Elendar," I said. "You're going to tell me you are the martial peer of a Warblade? Pull the other one, it's got bells on it. No. This arrogance is just what I was warning about. The Magistry can't get an Epic Wizard to handle this problem? Big deal. They can get us enough pairs of hands to make short work of this. That's the point of the Magistry."

"You really have produced a fine apprentice," Volex said approvingly. "Well! For the time being, you have my cooperation. Send to me when you have a firmer plan in place, hopefully involving a few squads of Warblades or Druids or what-have-you. And in the meantime, I'll see what else I can dig up on Ur-Priests."

"Sounds like a plan."