Tirijuki appeared in the black. His fur rippled in rainbow, his eyes filled with stars. “Rae-Lini.”

The voice that came from him was from Lilau’s memories. Her mother’s voice, and with those words, came understanding.

Rae-Lini. Blessed child. Born as a sacrifice, a last chance effort at saving a people on the edge of extinction. The child molded by a Guardian who had no strength in the physical world, and had long ago been barred from the in-between.

“Animis.” The name slipped out of Lilau’s mouth in barely a whisper.

Yes, my daughter, my warrior. Forged in the fire until the fire became you. Rae-Lini-Fa-Lyon. Blessed child and chosen daughter. With the fulfillment of your true purpose comes your true name.

My true purpose….

Lilau thought back to all she had done, and all her presence had caused. So much suffering in her and others, and so much death. What had been the forging fire, and what had been her fire burning others to ash?

There can be no give without take, Animis assured her. To return freedom to your siblings, to return life to the land, requires great sacrifice. Who better to provide it than those who caused the injury in the first place?

The Cat Tribe. Electricity like what she’d felt within Simurtahl buzzed through her. Not all Cat Tribe deserve to be sacrificed!

Tirijuki-Animis smiled, an oddly elongated expression which shouldn’t have given the comfort it did. Of course not. Those who fight against their siblings’ atrocities prove themselves worthy of the Spirit’s connection, and find the other half of their essence in the Great Cats. Those who do not, know only emptiness, and strive ever harder to fill the void with blood and suffering. Do not mourn their loss, Rae-Lini-Fa-Lyon, for it is your fire, born of me, which shall burn their cursed touch from the dying land, and put my brother back to his rest.

Narasten. Lilau shivered at the thought of his teeth. Had he already eaten her? Was this her last act before returning to the land at last?

His sacrifice brought his children low once, Animis said. But the punishment was too soft. He could not bring himself to discipline as harshly as their crimes required, and now he plays puppet to a wastrel playing leader. Give and take.

Without Narasten, Cat Tribe lands will die.

This land has been dying for a very long time. Narasten’s children assured it with their own hands, yet still believe taking what is not theirs will give them what they desire. I pity my brother. The best I can give him is the rest he deserves. The other lands will heal in time, but all I can give the land we once ruled together is peace in its final days.

Tirijuki-Animis faded in and out. My time runs out. Your time is merely beginning, Rae-Lini-Fa-Lyon. Never forget the reason for your birth. Never forget your worth.

Tirijuki’s body collapsed on itself, the rainbow expanding and flowing around Lilau. The world turned orange and red.

Fire.

Heat came off of it in blasts as it writhed. Lilau shrank back. The fire followed her motion, sticking to her skin, flowing in, burrowing, resting in her core in an orb of condensed flame. It burned a hollow in Lilau, and as Narasten’s jaws re-materialized in front of her, the twisted up face of Ka-al behind him, the orb finished its inward journey. It cracked, and nothing Lilau could have done would have stopped it.

Pure inferno rushed out of her pores, melting and merging her senses until all lost meaning. The fire engulfed Narasten mid-bite, turning pale blue as the Guardian roared, then fell silent. The blue went red again and rushed on over the square, the buildings, and the people.

Screams.

Deadly silence reigned as the fire slowed, then went still. The surface oscillated, red and orange tongues splitting back into the rainbow of its origin. It settled over the quiet City. A liquid beauty at odds with the carnage it wrought. Within another moment, it was gone.

Lilau gasped. Her lungs screamed for breath as she sucked in air, faster and faster. So many gone. The square lay nearly bare. No bodies, no bones, only the fading screams of those taken by the fire, her fire, left to echo in her memory.

A handful of Spirit Tribe slaves dropped to their knees in the square and chanted. They called to Animis, and they called to Animis’ child. The breaker of bonds and bringer of cleansing fire.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

They called to her.

“Lilau!”

A small measure of relief worked its way within her smoldering mind as she recognized Radai’s voice. It strengthened as Macien picked herself up off the platform’s floor, cursing the blast that had nearly knocked her off. But Lilau’s relief was far too small.

Makotae pushed against Lilau. She was on his bare back in an instant, hurtling through the remains of the City without truly understanding her actions. She just wanted away from it all. Away from the cries of people fading in half-ruined buildings, away from empty streets, and away from the patches of chanting Spirit Tribe calling to her, praising her for the destruction she caused.

She’d felt every life as her fire snuffed it out. Every parent, brother, sister, child. Every person destroyed had refused to repent of their ways, refused to admit how much pain and suffering they had caused, and how much more they would have if left alone. Each one was a bit of infection, eating away at the corpse of the desert. Devouring the life of the world around them.

Animis had been relieved and vindicated. The Guardian’s emotions had flowed through Lilau as easily as the fire and still lingered in the coals of her core. They burned just the same.

Who was she to condemn the entire City? She’d ridden alongside the Cat Tribe outcasts to help them and to help the enslaved Spirit Tribe. She’d never meant to be death itself. The trail of destruction only grew in her wake.

Perhaps her start to life held the truth after all—she should have died in the forest long ago. Died free of the Fokla’s will, free of the hate of others, before she grew to deserve it. Even Makotae’s presence, now filling the still-aching hole in her mind, could not break through her growing grief. She did not deserve him anymore.

Another rider on cat-back darted into Makotae’s path. He snarled as he slid to a stop.

Radai dismounted Aza, hands outstretched, as he stared past the agitated bulk of Makotae to Lilau. “Don’t go.”

Lilau stared back at him, her unraveled thoughts struggling to form a response. “I… I have to. Before I kill more.”

“Those who died killed themselves.” Radai’s face hardened, and Aza echoed him in the arching of her back.

Makotae snarled louder. A trickle of his confusion leaked into Lilau’s mind. He was as lost as she was, set adrift by her refusal to let him back in. He wanted to destroy what confused her and return to how they were.

A jolt of clarity passed through Lilau. She swung from Makotae’s back, wedging herself between him and Radai. she grasped his muzzle and pulled his head down until they looked eye-to-eye. If you are to kill anyone else, let it be me.

Makotae went limp and collapsed to the ground.

“Lilau, those deaths are not your fault,” Radai said.

She spun on him, tears springing to her eyes even as she bared her teeth. “How are they not? Your people wouldn’t have died in the square without me. The City would still stand, if not for me.”

“Then you wish them to live, instead of us? The slaves should suffer, so they can live in luxury?”

“I…. No.” Lilau wrapped her arms around herself, digging her nails into her skin. The pain was dull compared to the pain in her heart. “So many. I killed so many, Radai. I hear the echoes in my mind. Why should I live—”

“For them. If living to right their wrongs, to heal the land, to help the survivors, to stay with Makotae, to stay with me, isn’t enough, then stay alive to remember them.”

“With you?”

That peculiar feeling, which had haunted her for moons, came back. It grew in strength as the shockwave of her power faded.

“Yes, Lilau. I’m not leaving you. If your burden is too much to bear, let me have some of it. Let Makotae have some of it. You are not alone, Lilau Noka. Your death will hurt us, don’t you see? If you’re worried about harming others, why do you hurt us by shutting us out?”

“Because I’m a weapon, Radai. The Fokla let me live only to use me to kill. The Wolf Tribe was right. I’m broken. If all my worth is as a killer, why should I continue to live?”

Radai grabbed Lilau and pulled her tight against his chest, and for once, she didn’t want him to let go.

“You are worth far more than a weapon, Lilau. You simply have to open your eyes.”

A hawk screeched overhead.

“Do you hear her? Keefin has been circling you since she found you on that platform. We didn’t ask her to come, or to attack the guard chaining you to a pole. You are her falconer, and she finds worth in you. Macien stayed in the City, not because she didn’t care, but because she wanted to ensure no one would come after you to harm you. Every camp you helped wanted to come to your rescue.” Radai shook his head. “It took a long time for Macien and I to convince them over a hundred people would have a hard time sneaking into the City. Do you think they would throw themselves into harm’s way for nothing more than a weapon?”

Doubt sprouted in Lilau’s mind. The strange feeling blossomed at Radai’s words, bringing with it curiosity. What would the coming days bring? Perhaps there was no one left to kill. Perhaps Animis’ wish of peace really would come true. Makotae’s presence trickled in, thick with hope. He liked that idea.

Lilau pushed away from Radai and collapsed across Makotae’s neck as he lay unmoving on the sand. I’m sorry, my heart. I got lost in my suffering, and I did not think of yours. I do not deserve you.

You have me regardless of what you think. Where you go, so shall I.

Lilau forced a thin smile. It felt fake, but Makotae and Radai’s truth gave it a seed of hope. Perhaps she could nurture that seed and let it eat away at the pain. Perhaps in time, she could accept their truth. Then shall we stay here a little longer?

Makotae’s rough tongue licked away her tears. As long as you’re happy.

Happy. Such a strange word. Lilau looked at Keefin circling in the sky. At Aza, now peering cautiously at her from behind Radai. At Radai, dusty tear trails down his face as he looked at her with something in his eyes Lilau didn’t recognize, yet wanted to know more about. He caught her eye and extended a hand to her.

She took it and pulled. He stumbled, falling to his knees beside her as Makotae took the opportunity to lick his face.

He’s not so bad, Makotae mused.

Lilau chuckled as Radai sputtered and reared back in surprise. No, he’s not so bad at all.