Lilau spent the morning sitting as near Alee as she dared, having stilted conversations with Radai as he tried to distract her from the hawk. When Makotae informed her of his return, she couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

“That bad, huh?” Radai asked. His lip twitched up in a small smile.

Lilau had a feeling he wasn’t enjoying this, either. That only made her feel worse. “I’ll work on it.”

He nodded. “I’ll help as long as you want. But since the hunting pack has returned, it’s probably best you return to your tent. Even calm Desert Hawks like Alee get worked up around mealtime.”

Lilau left quickly. Other camp members appeared from the surrounding tents, all moving off in the same direction. Most likely heading to meet the Great Beasts outside the camp, where they’d clean and prepare meat for everyone. The thought of losing herself in the mundane act of cleaning a kill appealed to Lilau, even if it meant being around more people. A call from in front of her killed the idea.

“Lilau Noka, we need to talk.” Zayla stood tall near her tent. Her dark eyes bored into Lilau with no less intensity than the hawk’s.

She doubted she’d like what Zayla had to say any more than being around the bird. As Zayla led her to the leader’s tent, her feeling only grew. Macien sat in front of a small pile of travel rations, her back to the entrance. Zayla took her place behind the pile, while Lilau sat down next to the Weapons Master.

“I assume,” Zayla said, “that Radai has informed you of the rumors.”

Lilau nodded. “Yes, Leader Zayla. He said another camp thinks the City knows our movements, and is gearing up for an attack.”

“Indeed. It is not too far-fetched, and partially our fault. We have become too predictable. We attack, move, rest, then repeat.”

Lilau waited, unsure how to respond. Why did she need to know the camp’s routines?

Macien turned toward Lilau. “You took out a tower with no loss to the hunters. Could you do so again?”

A jolt ran through Lilau. Could she? The last attack still haunted her. What if she froze up again?

“What Macien is asking is, will you?”

Macien glanced sidelong at Zayla, then looked away, an almost imperceptible twitch in her jawline. The Weapons Master didn’t agree with Zayla’s plan, but she was submitting to it.

Lilau’s hackles rose.

“If the City knows our movements,” Zayla continued, “then we have to change them. Our targets in this area aren’t expecting to be hit so soon. The City won’t be expecting us to move again. If we do both, simultaneously, we’ll throw them off.”

Lilau’s heart sank with each word. She was exhausted, and she wasn’t the only one. Every member of the Silent Hunters had put their all into the last move. The hunters were far from top form. Clearly, Zayla could see that, which meant she was deliberately ignoring it.

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“The camp’s so tired, such a plan seems like suicide.” Lilau locked eyes with Zayla as she spoke. She met the rising fire in the leader’s gaze with her own.

“Waiting here to be slaughtered is suicide, Lilau Noka.”

Her name, uttered in a way all too familiar by one in authority. She’d entertained the idea the Silent Hunter’s leader was different. Clearly a foolish notion. “So why don’t we simply move? It’d be exhausting as well, but at least we wouldn’t be putting ourselves under another’s weapon.”

“Would we not? What do you know of the City’s movements, hunter of ours? To retreat the way we came would be to walk into the City’s arms. To continue without taking out our targets would mean surrounding ourselves with encampments, and to stay would equal an easy target. If you know so much, tell me the best solution.”

Some of the anger bled away from Lilau. As irritating as it was, she didn’t know enough. “What if the rumors are wrong?”

“What if they are not? As the leader of the Silent Hunters, my job is to not only decide what’s best for my people but also what’s best for every person fighting against the City’s oppression. As our guest, it is your job to decide if you will continue to support us, or leave.”

Lilau went silent. There it was. The attitude which had been oddly missing from the camp. She remained an outsider, only welcome as long as she was useful.

“I need to speak with Lilau.” Macien didn’t wait for Zayla’s response. She stood and jerked her head toward the entrance. “Please follow.”

Zayla’s eyes tracked them both out of the tent. Macien walked far enough to make it hard for the leader to hear what she said, putting them at an equal distance between three different tents. She turned toward Lilau with a sour look on her face. “Zayla doesn’t speak for us all.”

Lilau blinked in confusion. “If you don’t agree with her plans, why didn’t you say something?”

“It’s not her plans I disagree with. They are dangerous, reckless. They’re also the best choice out of a tiny list of terrible ones. No, what I disagree with is her calling you a guest.”

“Perhaps she was stating what most feel.”

“No.” Macien crossed her arms and scowled. “I don’t train guests, Lilau Noka. That’s why I waited until you showed me you wanted to stay. The minute you became my trainee, you became one of my hunters. But beyond that, you are no guest to the other hunters. Ask them if you wish.”

Lilau’s palms sweat more at the thought. “The hunters don’t make up all the camp, though.”

“They make up an important part. Do you think the cooks, crafters, herders would feel safe letting a guest go out to help the hunters? The primary force standing between them and annihilation by the City? Have you heard a rumor of complaints?”

“I… no.”

“Don’t you think Radai would tell you if anyone spoke against you?”

Lilau chewed her lip and stayed silent under Macien’s glare. Discomfort rose, not from the anger in Macien’s tone, but from the idea of so many relying on her. Watching her. An unfamiliar sensation came with the discomfort, more pleasant, but impossible to identify.

Macien sighed and looked away. “My point is, Zayla speaks from her own heart, and most think she’s wrong when it comes to you. If you remain with us, every hunter will have your back. As will I. You may be an outcast, but you are not an outsider. Not here.”

She marched off, irritation still apparent in her stiff gait, leaving Lilau to return to Zayla alone. Lilau wanted to return to Zayla’s tent about as much as she wanted to poke herself in the eye. Too many emotions roiled around in her. Too many she couldn’t pin down.

Lilau considered asking Makotae his thoughts, but he was in the middle of eating. His joy at the act nearly drowned out all else, playing off her feelings in a jarring discordance. Besides, despite the confusion, she knew her answer with an assurance she hadn’t felt in a long time. She returned to Zayla with her head held high.

Zayla still sat at her meal, hands folded in her lap.

Lilau didn’t bother to sit. “I’m a hunter. I go with the hunt.”

The words felt large and oddly shaped as they fell from her lips, yet they still sent a warmth through her body.