Makotae’s head popped up, ears perked. Lilau’s heart jumped in response, chasing away the dozing stupor she’d fallen into lying against him. Her muscles ached in protest.

A hawk, Makotae informed her.

Lilau peered out from the makeshift lean-to that served as a hospital tent. Radai had released Alee so she could fly back to her original camp before they’d packed up. Lilau couldn’t tell if it was her returning or not.

Radai, who had been helping Inalia with the injured, stepped out of the shelter of the lean-to and held out an arm. The hawk called, swooping down to alight on the offered perch. The bird was smaller than Alee, with a bit more black around the face. A different camp’s bird, then. Radai fumbled with the message tube tied to its leg, then frowned as he read it.

Lilau started to stand up.

Stay, Makotae thought. I’ll tell his Great Cat to call him over.

Lilau sighed and waited. Makotae had suddenly grown far less tolerant of letting her make her own decisions. Not that she had the strength to do much about it. The explosion at the tower had drained every bit of excess essence from her, leaving her world in dull shades. Combined with the physical repercussions, the effort of blocking out what had happened after, and the defense of the camp, she was on the verge of collapse.

As promised, Radai released the hawk back to the sky and came straight to her. “The City hit the camp to our north as well. Only a handful of survivors.” He sat down, legs crossed, and sighed.

Lilau felt a pang at his sadness. It didn’t suit him. “Most camps probably met similar fates.”

“Most likely. Question is, what do we do about it?”

Lilau remembered the last conversation she’d had with Zayla. She’d spoken out against the leader’s risky idea, knowing it would lead to disaster. Now, Zayla lay among the fallen, and the only idea she could think of was to fulfill the plan. “We have to keep moving.”

Radai’s eyes widened. “Move? How? Nearly all of who’s left are laying in this tent. Half of those can’t stand, let alone work. How—”

“I know. But if we stay at the site of the ambush, we’re just waiting for another strike. The City will notice their ambushers didn’t return, and send more to finish the job.”

“Maybe, but—”

“The Great Cats are mostly fine, aren’t they?”

Radai nodded, brow furrowed.

“Then we can lash sleds to them with what’s left of the tents. One for every person who can’t ride. Anyone who can sit up gets lashed to their cat instead. We have to keep moving, Radai, or we’re dead.”

He sighed, glancing toward the still unconscious Macien lying nearby. Lilau wished the Weapon Master was awake, too. Maybe she’d have an idea that didn’t sound like suicide whichever way she spun it.

“Okay.” Radai stood up. “I’ll talk to Inalia. She’d not going to like this, though.”

“Neither do I.”

Inalia made her displeasure known shortly after.

Lilau grimaced. Even though Inalia was speaking to Radai in Cat Tribe language, Lilau had picked up enough to know Inalia’s thoughts on the idea were impolite at best.

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The healer called it suicide, especially for the heavily injured. Most would die in transport, so what was the point of leaving to keep them from dying in another ambush?

Because if we stay, even the strong will die. The thought burned Lilau even as it formed. Hadn’t she been born weak? Wasn’t it the same argument Wolf Tribe used against her to justify her death? Hadn’t Allak and the other hunters’ deaths been because of her weakness? When had she become so powerful, to decide who should live and die?

Nausea welled up. Her breath caught as the ember in her core sparked back into existence. She was no better than any of them. No better than an alpha, no better than Zayla or Zan.

Lilau—

She cut off Makotae’s attempts at comfort as she stood on wobbly legs. I need to go.

Makotae stayed lying down. You need to rest.

No. Sweat ran quicker down her skin, more than the heat could account for. I need to get away from here.

The ember shuddered, threatening to spark. She pushed the feeling toward Makotae, backed by her rising panic.

He was on his feet in an instant, and in a moment more, they were racing across the desert, Radai’s calls fading behind them.

Lilau’s head pounded as bile rose in the back of her throat, yet her mind didn’t slow. It assailed her with every memory of every person to cast her away, to put her down, to demand her death. She had become one of them. The ember turned to flames.

Makotae stretched out his stride, giving as much distance between them and the lean-to as he could. Each strike of his back leg sent a jolt of pain through his injured haunch. It echoed in Lilau’s mind, melding with her own pain, both mental and physical.

Dust roared up in front of them, casting them into a cloud of grit.

Makotae skid to a halt as sand invaded his mouth and nose.

A golden, shifting hide appeared. A flaming mane. The fire in the Guardian’s eyes spoke to the fire in Lilau. The Fokla bowed its head as drops of liquid flame hit the sand. Where each one hit, a small orb formed, shining in Lilau’s growing Spirit Sight like polished jewels of blood.

Release your essence into these stones, Narasten told her. Feed them with your power, and they will aid you in the coming war.

War? Lilau shook her head as she slid from Makotae’s back, urging him to leave. No. I’m worthy of nothing more than this. At the first taste of power over others, I’m willing to sacrifice the weak. I’m no different from those I hate. I put my survival above those who need my help the most.

Makotae sat beside her, sending a clear signal. He would not leave without her.

Your biggest flaw is lying to yourself. Narasten rumbled, a deep sound devoid of anger. The pain in your past has shown you one truth, and you cling to it as an absolute. Tell me, Rae-Lini, if you disregard the weak so easily, why are you ready to die for slighting them?

It is better to die than to become an alpha.

Is it, though? Do not Great Wolves look to an alpha to lead them? Powerful leaders may lead their pack to great downfalls, or great heights, but do you think they would accomplish anything if they simply didn’t try?

The fire in Lilau had grown into a blaze, covering the world in blinding contrast. She fought the blaze’s desire to devour her as Narasten’s words sank in. But how am I to know what kind of leader I am?

You try, worry, and you fight for what you think is right. The day you no longer care is the day your heart dies. Channel your essence, Rae-Lini. Fight for a new truth with those who care about you, and make the sacrifice of the others have meaning.

Lilau trembled and closed her eyes, turning inward toward the wildfire. All was ablaze, forcing itself against the confines of her body. She had let it grow too large, too free. Now she could not control it.

Something brushed her side—small, soft, cool. A bit of the fire broke off into it, dissipating into the desert. It wasn’t much, but it gave her a foothold. She grappled the blaze, pushing it down and out. It bucked like a wild thing. White-hot pain seared her mind and burned her muscles. Lilau pushed harder. The pressure released. The fire rushed into the ground and took her breath with it.

She opened her eyes in time to see the blood-red spheres glow brighter as the world dulled. A small animal, red, black, blue and white, danced at the edge of her vision. It yipped, then vanished.

Narasten sighed, blowing hot air and more loose sand into Lilau’s and Makotae’s face. The sandstorm collapsed. Well done. Gather the orbs, but take care. A sufficient strike will crack them, releasing the essence inside rather explosively.

An experience Lilau was familiar with. How big of an explosion?

Depends on how much essence you feed it.

Like little yous. Makotae’s ears perked. Without the uncontrollable danger. I approve.

Lilau bowed low. Thank you, Narasten.

Narasten returned the gesture, dissipating into the waves of heat. May your hunt be successful, Rae-Lini.