Once again, the mountain rose to greet Lilau. She hit the jagged wall of the wound hip first. Searing pain shot up her spine. She tucked and rolled, eyes shut tight against the glaring blue light as the whispers returned tenfold. They battered her mind as the ground battered her body.

When she finally hit the lake, the buoyancy of the warm water slowing her descent and dulling the voices, it came as a relief. That relief proved short-lived. Something struck her chest. A pressure bloomed, then gave way, as fire pierced her core and spread.

Lilau’s eyes shot open. Within the painfully bright blue, long wisps swam in clusters. More an idea than a form, their fishlike tails whipped, propelling shining, translucent heads through the water. Lilau’s lungs ached. She’d held her breath on reflex when she hit the water, but the fear coursing through her burned the air in her chest faster than normal.

More wisps clustered on all sides. Her heart beat faster, deepening the pain in her lungs. She couldn’t tell which way was up and the fire in her chest had spread to her limbs. An opening appeared between two groups of wisps above her. She kicked, propelling herself towards it. If she couldn’t tell up from down, she’d just have to pick a direction and stick with it.

A wisp jerked free of its cluster, an almost familiar response to Lilau’s movements. It coiled, aimed at her chest, and sprang. The pressure built on her chest again as the wisp passed through her, leaving molten fire in its wake. Lilau gasped. Shining water invaded her lungs in an instant.

The clusters of wisps broke apart. Each coiled and took aim. The fire consuming Lilau merged with the weight in her lungs, drowning her thoughts as readily as it drowned her body. An impossible calm washed over her as her vision faded.

“Lilau Noka.”

Mara’s voice cut through the darkness, startling Lilau awake. The Elder woman sounded younger, stronger than Lilau remembered.

“Girl that is lost? A bit blunt, isn’t it?”

Raval. A deep sadness took root in the flames, vying for Lilau’s attention. He’d been there for her when no one else had, as close to a father as someone like her could have hoped for. His wrinkled, brown face took form in front of her. The smile he’d worn so often shined in his eyes.

Another hit to the chest. The vision changed.

Zan, face contorted with rage, demanding her death. The pain as he and the other whelps attacked. The shame as she healed, the cold realization of never belonging.

A golden serpent looking into her very essence.

Makotae’s thin face as she nursed the frail puppy back to health.

The joy of Bonding.

The pain of rejection.

The numbness of accepting her place in the world.

Darkness seeped in, framing the newest vision in soot. A woman’s tear-streaked face as she sang softly to a tiny, deathly pale newborn. Lilau focused on the woman’s words. She knew them, and the comfort they brought, but how? She didn’t know this woman, did she? Lilau racked her mind. This was important. She knew it. Who was she?

The song faded as a fox adorned with blue designs appeared in front of the woman and child.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Angry cries of the infant melded with sobs from the woman. The woman gritted her teeth, quieting herself as she bowed low, holding the infant out in a way Lilau had only seen for offerings. “I give this child to the Fokla, and leave her fate in your hands. May you find her life pleasing in your eyes.”

Tirijuki took the infant gently in its jaws, its carved face expressionless. Its eyes shifted from the woman, its gaze boring into Lilau.

The vision burst. A million shards disintegrated into blinding blue light. Something jerked Lilau backward, pulling her away from her revelations.

No. A weak thought she’d intended to yell. The familiarity of the woman, as if from a distant past. Lilau reached into the blue, as if she could regather the shards by will alone. Tirijuki had taken a stunted, pale infant. The woman’s song, her sobs, had carried with them an aching, an almost unbearable loss. Mother.

The force pulling Lilau back gained speed. She twisted, feebly swiping at the large, dark blot attached to her coat. She’d finally found her mother, yet this thing was taking her away. Lilau flailed more, each movement causing more gray to dull her vision. Good. The darkness was where her mother was.

Weight slammed down on her as something scraped across her legs. The burning returned, concentrating its flame into her lungs, her stomach, burning hotter until she had no choice but to reject it.

She heaved. Fire rushed from her innards in gasps and chokes, spilling out even as unwanted clarity crept back in.

Lilau, I need you to get on my back.

She blinked. She lay on solid ground. The wound’s lake stretched out at her feet, the alluring surface once again deceptively smooth. The jagged mountain dirt and rock sloped out and up, the blue tinge broken only by the occasional swoop of a jewel-winged creature.

Makotae stepped into view. Get on, please!

Another glittering creature dove, skimming the air above them. Makotae growled. Lilau wanted to do as he asked, to leap into the saddle, but her limbs lay half numb at her sides. Each request for movement slowed to a crawl. A coughing fit overtook her, driving thoughts of compliance from her mind. The fire sparked anew, filling every inch of her with sharp heat. Makotae dropped to his belly. He scooted up against her, narrowly missing a creature’s claws as it flew by.

Try again. Quickly!

Her vision blurred. The air grew brighter. She clamped her eyes shut and pushed up onto Makotae’s back. Draped over him, her hands gripped at his fur. Her legs trembled as she demanded they hold on, and they only partially obeyed.

A shift which nearly made her heave again, and Makotae was off. Lilau could hear the whispers returning, beating against them, striking in time with Makotae’s paws as he fled.

The heat in her body grew. Shards of pain blossomed. It pierced her bones, seeking to cut through her flesh. A whining filled her head.

Makotae’s angle evened out. She hoped that meant they were out of the crater. The screech of an eagle echoed, warped around her. Distant, angry. Lilau attempted to look, but the weight of her eyelids proved too much. Her body had had enough, and now it had little more to give.

Slow down, Makotae.

Surprise at the ridiculous notion invaded the small bit of awareness Lilau still had.

No. I’m not taking the chance on that eagle, or those things in the crater.

You… you could see them?

Somehow, yes. I don’t wish to do so again.

Lilau’s hand loosened and slipped. She forced it back in place, a feat which was becoming more and more difficult. No, it doesn’t matter. I have to use the ties. If I try to at this speed, I’ll fall.

Makotae growled, but slowed, then stopped. Quickly.

With her eyes still squeezed shut, it should have been near impossible to find the saddlebags at Makotae’s sides, free them from the leather straps, and tie the straps around her legs. Yet at a thought, the entire saddle lit up under her in threads of red. She knew where each quick-release knot lay, which bit of leather to pull, which free-dangling straps to lace across her limbs to secure herself to the saddle. She fought her growing discomfort as she worked. Pain, encroaching black, a sudden sharp taste in her mouth. When she tied the final knot, darkness consumed her.

Glaring light, absence of light. Waves of overwhelming pain, scorching heat, biting cold. Voices loud and quiet uttering words she couldn’t understand. Colors she’d never imagined. It all crashed into her, cutting, tearing out pieces and replacing them with something new.

Over and over, Lilau fought towards the surface, only to be dragged down once more. Perhaps she’d never left the lake after all, and she was trapped within her last moments, extending into eternity.