I parked at the kitchen entrance and took the perishables in first. After unloading everything I drove the SUV to the stables. There was a cart I could use to wheel the feed in with, but I was winded just getting it to the back of the SUV. Things were build sturdy back when it was made, and the heavy steel wheels on the cart where work to line up and maneuver.
I hadn’t spent my life moving bags of feed so instead of tossing them easily like the guy at the back of the feed store did, I dragged them from the back of the SUV and shoved them into place. Agnes came and helped me. She was trim, even slim and barely came up to my chest. I decided to never get her angry. She was able to pick up bags of feed and heft them into place with ease. I wouldn’t last a minute in a fair fight. She could disappear and appear on the other side of me, so I really wouldn’t stand a chance.
#
The meal was one of the best I had eaten in a long time. Maybe the best ever. I did the math and even with feeding Agnes, this was cheaper than the pizza I would have normally ordered. Probably better for me.
I asked Agnes about the Civil War since my talking about programming sorting routines in machine code to speed things up wasn’t the sort of thing that anyone was going to be interested in.
#
At breakfast I said, “Agnes, when you move, move in here. Shopping with you is easier and I can’t manage the feed without you. Free room and board and you just have to go shopping with me two days a week.”
Agnes nodded.
#
I went outside with a sack of apples. A chicken was waiting on the railing at the front porch. “I heard the horses all talking about their sweet feed. Did you get chicken feed?”
“Four bags. I didn’t know what you preferred.”
I opened the back of the SUV and the chicken hopped up and looked. “The crumble. Don’t throw the rest out, it wont go to waste but next time you can just get the crumble. We only have twenty chickens so these four bags will last a while. But still, next time crumble.
Another chicken ran up and jumped into the back of the SUV. “He got crumble. I may live.”
The first chicken asked, “How did the lenses look?”
“They made it fine. We got the power back on quick enough.”
I asked, “Isn’t being a chicken a bit hard for doing research?”
They both started talking and then the first one continued. “Not at all, human eyesight is worthless for precision optical work. Since light is the real determiner and frankly the only thing we can see directly, we are mostly focused on optics in our research. Without chicken eyesight we would be stuck to what humans call visible light and half the subtleties would be entirely missing.”
The other chicken said, “Don’t complain, the eggs you had for breakfast was just one of the side benefits.”
#
In front of the barn, The Horses, Randal and Eloise were with two smaller horses. Both looked sturdy, and one of them had a huge loose mane of white hair. She shook it when she saw me looking at it. “I’m a haflinger, my name is Renate. You met Eloise and Randal, this fellow is Jack. Thanks for getting the sweet feed. I had forgotten how much I missed it. Do you ride? Eloise said she never got a clear answer.”
I said, “I just drive a car. Well the gas guzzling monster over there. When I give it back to company I will need to get a replacement. Preferably something that uses less gas.”
Randal asked, “What sort of car do you like?”
I shrugged. “The dream has always been a convertible but living in an apartment I figured they were easy to break into. Not sure most convertibles get good gas mileage. Since I will mostly be shopping and getting feed, I probably want a small truck. I am pretty sure they have horrible gas mileage compared to what my old hatchback had.
Renate said, “Well your in luck then. As the owner of the estate and someone who provides sweet feed and from the smell of that bag there, apples, you have a few vehicles to choose from.
I asked, “So do I just give you the bag of apples? I was always warned that feeding by hand can get your fingers smashed.”
Jack snickered. “Eloise will founder. Best give them to the Domestic Fairies.”
Jack dodged Eloise’s attempt to bit him. “They will manage it. Get some bananas next time. Just a few. The Fairies will put the apples in oatmeal. That’s the best.”
Randal said, “Great you mentioned apples in oatmeal. With a talking cat wandering the property and the mention of apple in oatmeal, she’ll be too distracted to help plan research.”
I asked, “Horses plan research?”
Renate said, “Not initially for the most part. We just review projects and make sure we will get the most information for the effort and expense of research.”
Randal said, “That’s pretty much what we do. Provide some well needed horse sense. Chickens are great for the flighty stuff, but without horses the research is just going to produce chicken scratches.”
Jack said, “Go take the apples to the kitchen. Hurry or we won’t get any work out of Eloise.”
#
Randal asked, “Have you seen Harvey lately?”
Renate said, “He’s been talking with the Dwarf. Did you know Harvey was a wizard before he died, became a Fairy, got eaten by a cat and then merged with the cat?”
Randal looked at me. “This has got to be crazy to you. Surrounded by scientists, a wizard cat and Fairies. You mentioned giving back your vehicle to a company. What sort of work do you do?”
I winced and looked away. “My company would prefer I not talk about my duties.”
Jack said, “You are too skinny to be an assassin. You wouldn’t make it through basic training so ex military is out. The car is expensive but practical. Hard to guess. Do you have a degree?”
I nodded. “A bachelor's in statistics.”
Eloise said, “He mentioned that in his profession he couldn’t afford to have the power going out regularly.”
Jack said, “Your leaving the company, giving the car back and your new work requires stable power.
Randal said, “I just figured it out. His cat gave it away. Harvey gave him a look when I mentioned what we really needed for the project. What we have here is a programmer who is an expert on data bases and knows statistics. But there is one more detail. I mentioned that we needed a mortal that wouldn’t go blabbing in the first Fairyland he went to. Harvey knows something about Joshua and that something makes him think that Joshua won’t be a blabbermouth even after he becomes a Fairy. In any case, Joshua, if you are what I am guessing you are. You are our man, and we need you.”
Harvey and a short solid man with a beard stepped out of the barn.
The man said, “You can’t have him. Harvey and he are now research subjects.”
The man walked right up to me and grabbed my arm. I almost cried out as he squeezed it.
“He’ll never stand up in combat. Wizard or no. To survive our research he is going to need some physical training. Do you do artwork?”
I shook my head and tried to pull my arm away from him.
He held my arm tight. “Do you cook?”
I shook my head, “Ramen sometimes, just microwave stuff.”
The man said, “Pitiful, what instrument do you play?”
I shook my head again.
“Do you read a lot of speculative fiction?”
I said, “I watch movies.”
The man let go. “Well there’s you problem. Of course you can’t throw magic despite taking gifts. Harvey, you were a wizard, did you draw?”
The cat nodded.
Randal stood up in front of the man. “Look, Dwarf, you can’t just make someone your experimental subject. He has to volunteer.”
The man said, “His cat volunteered him. Unless your one of the idiots that think people own cats instead of it being the other way around, I have permission to experiment on him.
“So Josua, what do you do?”
Harvey said, “He’s a math wiz and his keyboard rattles as he writes code. He does statistics in his head and I think he writes and uses programs in his head to solve things.”
The man stroked his beard. “Well then, he can visualize. Fine. We put him into physical training and we give him art and music lessons. What do you think, bagpipes?”
Harvey said, “He listens to elevator music when he programs.”
I said, “Want me to step on that tail? I have too many expenses and I doubt I will have time to learn anything but if I was going to play it would be a guitar. A Maton EBG808TE guitar.”
Jack asked, “You a Tommy Emmanuel fan?”
I said, “I like fast complicated but easy to listen to music when programming. Tommy’s the best hands down. Him and Chet Atkins.”
Jack said, “I’m serious into guitars. I play classical. I know all the greats.”
I asked him, “Stanley Jordan?”
Jack said, “I think we are going to get along. Don’t let the Dwarf abuse you.
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
The cat walked to the other side of the horses. “More elevator music if you ask me.”
Jack said, “I’m more of a Shadows fan, but you and I are going to get along. Cat, your insulting the three of the best guitar players to ever live.”
Harvey said, “To ever live and play elevator music.”
Jack said to me, “I have an extra classical guitar. When it’s the full moon and I can turn human in Real, I’ll gift you and we can practice. Nice thing about gifting, You can use, ‘Classical Gas,’ as your first song to learn. Better yet, lets get some feed, you get your camping supplies and we can practice in Greener Pastures.”
Harvey asked, “Is that a Fairyland?”
Jack said, “It’s my Fairyland. I don’t need any music critics or cats there. It’s just a large pasture nothing a cat would like anyway.”
I said, “I don’t have any camping gear.”
The horses all looked at me like I was an alien. I said, “Never been camping and I lost all my possession when I went into the coma.”
Randal leaned his head towards Eloise, “Explains things. Joshua has been with the Fairies and Harvey probably met him in the Fairyland and there is a reason Harvey thinks Joshua can keep a secret. That means, they share a secret and Joshua is not talking.”
I decided to change subject. “Where are the vehicles? I can summon my way back here after I drop off the SUV, but I will still need to be able to go shopping and haul feed.”
Jack said, “Renate and I are best for hauling. She can haul more and manage rougher terrain, but for a quick load of feed, I’m the best.”
Randal said, “Eloise is faster and classier, but if you want muscle and control, I’m the best.”
I asked, “Are you telling me we use carts and wagons here?”
Randal said, “Before we started with this project, we four worked with another project. We were researching the interaction of Fairies and steel. We had all heard the legends of nightmare horses who’s shod hooves made sparks fly as they struck hard stone.
“There have always been sword wielding Fairies so we were gathering information from every source we could. What we didn’t expect was a Daft Fairy that had already solved the issue in an unexpected manner. There are a few dozen of us that were experimented on while we thought we were performing experiments. As far as I know fifteen of us survived. The Daft experimenter went past our goals of gossamer replacement and the energization of Real matter with Fairy morph-ability. His experiment, instead of replacing gossamer with flesh replaced it with steel.
Eloise stepped back and turned into an early classic convertible European sports car.
Jack said, “The Spanish Pegaso Z-102 cabriolet, one of the most elegant classics. In it’s day the fastest production car made. Don’t even try to drive it. Let Eloise drive herself. She’s a beauty but don’t even fool yourself into thinking you can handle her.”
The three remaining horses nodded.
Randal said, “Not bad for a vehicle that runs on horse feed.”
The doors on either side of the car opened.
The stocky man said, “There’s no way I am going to trust my life in that thing. I’ve seen her take two wheels on a corner.”
Harvey said, “I think she means for Joshua and I to take a ride.”
The cars engine revved twice.
Jack said, “On rev is no. Two rev’s is yes.”
I got in. It didn’t have a seat belt. I looked at Harvey and Harvey leapt into the seat beside me. The doors closed. Smoothly and quietly the car backed onto the circle and took to the road. The car was fast. It slowed before we reached the town. I saw a police car so I put my hands on the wheel but left them relaxed so the car could drive itself. Since I didn’t have a seat belt I was a bit nervous what might happen if the police decided to stop us.
We stopped at the sign and when we got past I saw the police car starting to pull out. Eloise turned at the first turn burst into insane speed and we really were on two wheels as she took a corner stopped and opened the doors. I got out and looked for Harvey. The doors slammed shut and she turned back into a horse.
She knelt. “Quick both of you get on. I’m not street legal.”
I got on the horse and Harvey jumped in front of me. Eloise stood and the police car slowed for a moment as it passed us and took off in the direction we would have gone if Eloise was still a car.
I had a moment where I thought I was slipping and going to slide off with the cat but Eloise shifted to the side and helped me balance.
I summoned Randal. “Randal this is Joshua. I am riding a white horse and don’t know what I am doing. A cat is in front of me and I didn’t realize how high up a person is when riding a horse. Can you bring me there?”
Randal brought us out in a large dimly lit chamber with short pillars supporting arches up to the ceiling. There was a granite table with holes in it and there were precision adjustable fittings holding lenses on the table.
A pair of chickens that were on the table took to the air and flew to the ground on the other side of the table.
One of the chickens squawked. “Randal, warn a being before suddenly summoning a horse with a rider on it.”
I did a controlled slide off the horse and after I landed I picked up Harvey and put him on the ground. I looked at the table and asked, “Are these the lenses?”
A chicken flew back to the table. “No we are just testing the setup. The lenses won’t be cool enough to polish for three more months. Then we have to shape and test them. A lot of the lenses are nearly as big as this table.”
Harvey said, “You may need to buy a vehicle after all. Since Eloise isn’t street legal, I am guessing there might be problems with the rest of them.”
Randal said, “No the rest of us are legal but if you don’t want attention, Jack is the only one of us that doesn’t stand out.”
Jack said, “There are those that appreciate a good all around vehicle, but yeah, I can pass for normal. Speaking of which, before Prof Austri afflicts you with his regime of terror, let’s take a road trip, just the two of us.”
#
Once we got out of the tunnels, Jack said, “Once I turn into the truck, I can’t talk. So here is the plan. We get some gear and we go shopping so you and I can go to my Fairyland and camp out. I have a cabin in decent enough shape and we can play guitar and try to get you a bit of exercise and sunlight.”
I said, “I like the idea of camping but I am not sure I will like it when I do. I have a few lists of camping gear but those lists like a lot of things aren’t something I ever decided to spend money on. It’s a lot of investment if I don’t end up liking it.”
Jack asked, “Can I see your list?”
#
I went into the cottage and got my laptop.
When I showed him the list he bucked his head and curled back his lips. “I kind of like the container for eggs, and some of the water bottles are nice, but most of that stuff isn’t needed. I suspect that if you went on a long hike with this stuff you would litter the trail with the junk you didn’t use and wish you had carried more food.
“Are you ready to type, this is the stuff you want.”
#
After deciding on the shopping list, mostly groceries, Jack turned into a Subaru Brat. I recognized it and laughed. “I always wanted a Brat!”
Jack changed back into a horse. “This model wasn’t made with rear facing seats. It wasn’t one that was imported to the States. This is a Subaru Brumby.”
#
After taking a pillow, sheets and blankets from the cottage, I got in the Brumby and Jack drove us to the feed store. After that Jack drove us to the city for more grocery shopping. With the truck bed loaded with groceries, feed and gear, Jack took us back onto the road and then turned off down a small dirt road and slowed down to a stop. The light shifted and we were in a field. Jack drove us through a meadow. A stream was visible to the left of us most of the ride. We got to the edge of a forest where a two story log cabin with a large porch was close to a cliff where a waterfall could be seen crashing down.
I got out of the truck and Jack turned into a well tanned man in overalls.
“I sped time so we will get back within a day Real time. The porch is solid, so I’ll turn back into the truck so you can unload the groceries once I’m up there, stay back so I’ll have room.”
I smelled the air. “Touch of liniment smell.”
Jack said, “That would be the Red River Gum growing on the banks of the stream. I have a wonderful Fairyland here. No Fairies to speak of but apart from the loneliness, it’s as nice as any Fairyland I have seen.”
I asked, “Did you build this lodge on your own?”
“I’m king of this Fairyland and I can get by eating grass. With time sped and the ability to materialize sharper than razor tools out of gossamer, I can do work easily that would be hard work for a large team of men in Real.”
He walked up the stairs to the large porch and turned his back to a solid table before turning back into the truck.
I unloaded the groceries and all my stuff from the truck and he changed back.
He picked up a can of black olives. “How much do you know about Fairy economics?”
I looked up at the huge beams holding up the balcony over the porch we were on. “Nothing.”
Jack said, “Lets get the groceries in and start soaking some beans and I’ll give you some background then.”
We carried in the groceries and he handed me a pair of buckets and took a pair himself.
We walked to where the stream was running over large flat stones after crashing down from a large waterfall followed by several smaller waterfalls.
“Josh, if the buckets are too heavy, just pour some out. Over time, you can build up to more. All our water comes from here. I have been meaning to set up water to the cabin, but never got around to it. So we can bathe in cool to cold water out here. Or we can carry it up and heat it. I don’t have plumbing yet, but I have a nice enough outhouse and it doesn’t stink. Don’t lose anything down in though, cause you’ll never get it back.”
I started with the buckets two thirds full but quickly reduced the load to one third full and still felt like it was rough.
Jack started doing the preparations to several things that we would be eating later. We took beans down to the stream to wash in colanders before bringing them back to finish soaking in the kitchen. We started making bread.
“In the early seventies I visited Australia and decided to stay. I was a band conductor at a high school in America, but I didn’t get along with the principal. I met a principal on a bus in Australia and he talked me into going to work for him. I was always an outdoors buff and used to going alone. You may have heard that in Australia everything is out to kill you? Well I was sleeping in the outback and I never woke up. Never did find out what killed me.
“In the late seventies I was hiding the fact that I was qualified as a Fairy king. I got the ability to gift from the very start and since I could play just about any instrument you could name, I managed to swap and get a lot of gifts in return, so it was easy to quietly and quickly build up to what in Fairy is considered upper management.
“I was playing music at one point with a rather brilliant mortal. He played a wide range of instruments and I asked him, “What can’t you play?”
“I knew the entire list of instruments that he named. Since he was such an amazing musician, I decided to gift him. I didn’t expect anything in return, but with such a musical talent, I figured it would be a waste not to gift him.
He held out his hand and brought me to this Fairyland. He told me. “It’s all yours. I am trying to preserve as many of the wonderful things our world has made. I was told that if I played music with you, I would not only be able to find a Fairy king able and happy to take care of a few treasures, but I would be able to learn several instruments that I had not been able to find a chance to learn.”
I asked, “So we are all alone here?”
Jack said, “The fellow shows up occasionally. We play a bit of music from time to time, but the odds are low that you will meet him. If you see a handsome fellow a few years younger than you are, odds are good it is him.”
I asked, “Would it be rude to ask what the treasures you are taking care of are?”
Jack pointed out a window to a tree in the distance. The trees here are common enough in Australia, but they are the treasures he wants me to manage and protect. Most of them grow fast and the forests need a bit of care to be at their best, so I have lots of lumber to work with. Curing it is the real challenge, but I manage okay.”
#
Sitting on benches made from logs cut in half, we sat in front of a fire and played guitar together. Having a music instructor, director and Fairy able to gift music, made something I had always planned to do, but never got around to, possible. I always figured that it was a lot of money and time and if I had no talent it would be a waste and an embarrassment. Sitting and playing in front of a campfire with stars visible through the tree canopy far above, I wondered what would have happened if I had gotten a guitar or went camping years ago.
I had gotten invitations and chances, but I let them all slip away till it was a habit to let things slip by. Now in the strangest way I could imagine, two lost dreams had become realities.
I had also dreamed of travel and visiting Australia. Being in a Fairyland without the toxic animals but with the wonderful trees, seemed like a pretty nice substitute so really this was three dreams in one.
#
In the morning Jack got me up to do exercises before breakfast. They were not terribly hard.
“Josh, this one is simple and I want you to do it any time you can. When standing there, don’t worry, just do it. Swing your hands loosely and stand tall like string is pulling the top of your head. Gently rotate at your waist. Swing your arms around and turn your head gently as far as it comfortably goes.
“When you turn like this, you make you spine straight, or what passes for straight, since it has to be straight to rotate easily. This is how you learn good posture. An important thing for breathing. If you are playing an instrument or singing, you need to learn good posture and good breathing.
“We’ll work on your breathing as we go.”
#
Jack used gossamer to fashion a pair of lathes powered by a gossamer wheel that was turned by a waterfall.
Jack gifted me and showed me how to make gossamer tools that could just be remade when they got dull.
“We are going to make a pair of flutes. That will teach you breath control. Well that and our short runs in the woods. Is my training going too fast?”
I shook my head. “This is fun. What happens when I mess up the wood I am turning?”
Jack said, “It becomes kindling. We have no shortage. This is a particularly hard wood. I expect we will have several failures. Getting it bored out first is hard enough. Then we turn it and I expect we will ruin a lot more. We have time and materials so feel free to ruin lots of wood.”
#
The supplies of food were getting low. We were almost out of powdered milk and we were out of eggs. I didn’t want to go back yet. After two weeks of running in the forest, playing instruments and cooking, Jack taught me how to ride a horse bareback. I was getting my first tan since I was six and Jack was teaching me to swim. Swimming and riding had never been on my list of things I planned to do. They should have been.
We had only been here three weeks, but as the food started to run out it was clear that we needed to go back.