I woke up in a sleeping bag in a gazebo on an island in the middle of a lake. I was still woozy. I was also damp.

Bell said, “Sorry about that, there is a change of clothing hanging on the rack. You can wash off in the lake. It’s cleaner than most municipal water supplies. There are a few fish in it, but even so.”

I got up and walked into the water. It was freezing but I had wet the bed in my drugged state and the cold water was clearing my mind.

Bell said, “Don’t take long. Mumsie could be back any minute.”

I rushed to the rack and toweled off. I ducked down to get clothing on since a long boat was being paddled from a stream into the lake. I was putting on my new shoes and wondering where my old clothing was when the Dark Fairy leapt off the boat and onto the island. I was dressed like a British steam punker that decided to go on safari. Nice solid clothing, but with goggles, binoculars and a machete.

The Dark Fairy said, “So romantic, giving up your love so your other lost you could have true love. You made the most romantic and perfect choice, but now I am going to have to work overtime to find just the right girl for you.”

I looked at her, she was as beautiful as any person or thing I had ever seen. I suspected that an elephant or a bug would agree with me, she was so perfect.

I asked, “How about you just kill me instead?”

She smiled a warm and beautiful smile. “You can look at women now, so merging with Lithos may have done something to mend the both of you. As far as killing you goes, if your scared that my matchmaking might just endanger you, then why rush the death? At least you might get a nice kiss before dying if you wait to see how it all works out.

“Belly-Welly what girls do we have on the list for our wonderful romantic Joshua Bear. I do love how his name is already a perfect pet name for him. Does this mean that Duchess Bear-Bear needs to change her name to Duchess Bear-Stone? No Bear-Bear is cuter.”

I started to cry.

The Dark Fairy said, “Quick, Belly-Welly, give me the list of girls available, remember only the strong girls need apply.”

Bell said, “Well that leaves out a lot of them. Renate kind of likes him, but despite being a Fairy, Daemon, horse and a motor vehicle, she isn’t what you consider a strong character. Agnes the Goblin has a definite crush on Joshua, but again, not a strong personality. Does she have to be forceful?”

The Dark Fairy said, “Belly-Welly, we really can’t just stick our romantic boy with a stick in the mud.”

Bell said, “Well unless you have someone to introduce him to, all I have is Samantha.”

Mumsie asked, “Tell me all about her?”

Bell gave me a sympathetic look. “Well he didn’t know her name, but she ridiculed Josh in the coffee shop. She is an ambitious wizard and she has never had a boyfriend.”

I asked, “The mean girl who was with Agnes when I first met her?”

Bell said, “Yes, her.”

I shook my head. “I am pretty sure I am not going to fall in love with a wicked witch.”

Mumsie said, “Well we haven’t made up our mind on who you will fall in love with yet, so keep your mind open. You don’t want to miss out on an opportunity for adventure and romance.

“Speaking of which, Bell and I are going to a movie so we will have to work on your romance later.”

Bell said, “As a consolation prize, enjoy this Fairyland.”

He took the Dark Fairy’s hand and they disappeared.

I looked at the boat. There were two identical girl Fairies on the boat looking at me.

One of them said, “Don’t get any ideas. We are not in the market for romance.”

The other one made a gesture with her paddle that splashed water. “We realized that the whole twin thing is irresistible to men, but since you are mortal, and we are well over a thousand, well, it wouldn’t work out.

In the distance a woman screamed.

One of the Fairies said, “Right on time. Don’t rush to rescue her, she might attack you.”

I asked, “She screamed, shouldn’t we hurry?”

The other Fairy gave me a look like I was clueless. “Of course she screamed. She just woke up from being drugged and discovered she was in a strange place and she had wet herself. Give her a moment to find her clothing and bathe. Now that I think about it, you might want to hurry. She will probably be naked and bathing in the waterfall, and she is rather pretty.”

I asked, “Who is rather pretty?”

“You know, Samantha, the mean girl wizard.”

I winced.

#

I waited and a hawk flew to the top of the gazebo. I fended off a sleep spell and then dispelled an illusion of fog. The girl came down quickly off the roof and tried to kick me. I put her in a hold. She was dressed in an expensive version of a Halloween sexy safari outfit. She was pretty, hot, and well shaped but she was no Ursula. She turned into a snake so I let go and moved myself to the other side of the lake.

She stood. “So you abduct me, take my clothing and now you are running away?”

I said, “Samantha. If you cooperate for a moment I will take you home. I don’t know where my clothing or yours is. I was abducted too.”

She asked, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

I said, “Yes, but with any luck after today I will never see you again.”

She said, “Foolish of you to bring me to your Fairyland and have me sleep. You just gave me a Fairyland.”

I said, “World, banish her and make sure she has no control here and can’t come back.”

Samantha disappeared.

I said, “Thanks World.”

The Fairies on the boat paddled it over towards me.

“Your clothing and hers is in the honeymoon suite at the lodge.”

I asked, “Can I get a ride there?”

#

My clothing was clean and in a suit case with Samantha’s stuff. I showered and put my old clothing back on before taking the suitcase with me back to my hometown and walking to the coffee shop.

“There’s the idiot jerk.”

Through the window I saw Samantha sitting with three other girls. She was pointing at me.

I put the suitcase down and shouted, “Your stuff is in the suitcase.”

I started walking.

She was still wearing the safari outfit as she ran out after me. “Where the hell do you think you are going?”

I turned, smiled and turned into Lithos holding my electric motorcycle. I set it down and got on it. “To find a new town and a new coffee shop.”

I drove off into the night.

#

I was on a long stretch of empty highway gently winding between the mountains. I passed a man waving at me from the side of the road. I considered going back and seeing what he needed when I saw him again ahead of me. I slowed. He was wearing a leather jacket.

I prepped the spells I could prep and slowed down.

He asked, “Joshua Bear, we need you at a meeting in New York at nine AM.

I shook my head. “You got someone else to contact for that and I don’t recognize your authority. As I see it, you took five years out the five years and three months I could have had love.”

He said, “Let it pass. Things are rough all over and the sooner you get over it the easier it will be on you.”

I saw him start to prepare a spell. I transformed to me as a human so my motorcycle would be safe and dropped him hard against the gravel. Two more Deaths appeared. I got mad. Now I was going to have to go harder and I wouldn’t be able to pull my punches. I didn’t want to kill anyone but they were making it hard.

I slammed one into another. Another appeared behind me. I opened a gateway slid through sped time and memorized their positions as the light faded. I tied their legs with gossamer web I put gossamer bags over their heads, It wasn’t on them yet but when I merged Fairy with Real the bonds and they were then in the same place. I used a gateway and set the floor well below them and pulled them into Fairy for a moment so they fell, blind and bound. I shifted the gateway high and dropped them back to Real. They were all falling. I stood back and watched them pick themselves up.

They had dispelled the gossamer. Some hit hard. Some appeared near me. They were ready to avoid gossamer and to keep from going through my gateway. That was fine. I made a self destroying gateway passed into Fairy and watch the portal fade.

I sat on stone steps in my new Fairyland and considered exploring it. I had appeared in a large stone stadium with sand underfoot.

I summoned Lithos and kept summoning him as I lowered the speed of my Fairyland. I made contact and set the time to seven times that of Real.

“Lithos, a gang of Deaths decided to jump me. They want me at a meeting in New York at nine AM. I think dealing with Deaths is your responsibility. Sorry.”

Lithos answered, “Probably, are you okay?”

I said, “I miss Ursula, but you know. The Dark Fairy is trying to hook me up with a right nasty replacement and the Deaths have decided they can harass me.”

Lithos said, “I hate to ask you for anything, you have done more for me than I can ever repay. Since you have all their powers, could you, before the meeting let each of them know how bad an idea messing with you is? One more favor. It’s a big one and you can hit me hard on the rates and I will not regret the charge. I need a lot of Fairyland mass converted to cash. A lot, and you have all the connections that way.”

I asked, “Remember the stone you considered making that would allow you to save data remotely? Can I get you to make one that we can share?”

Lithos said, “Absolutely. We can keep each other up to date that way.”

The first of the four Deaths was in a diner. When he got his meal I knocked his drink over onto him and his food as I sat across from him. “Don’t even think of trying anything. You are used to messing with others lives.”

He touched my foot with his and took us up into the air. As we fell I spread and slowed my fall. He dived a bit and was under me. I dove and as he slowed I came in fast at an angle and pulled him into a flat spin. He took us over a desert. I kicked off him and put him into a faster spin as I took us low to the air above a hydroelectric dam. I hit the water hard. He wasn’t as lucky as he hit the dam. I sat by him as he bled. A pair of his fellow Deaths appeared.

I said, “You might have minutes to save him. He started it. Don’t mess with me. You can’t kill me. You can’t kill my Fairy. I will come back. You freeze me in time, good luck with that. I will be free and you will not enjoy the games I make up.”

“Don’t you ever, ever try to get revenge, one up me or come back against me again. Don’t mess with friends, don’t blackmail me. Just don’t. You have already gone to far--” I stopped talking since they had taken the body and disappeared.

#

The second death was in a bathroom washing his hands and looking at his teeth in the mirror.

I said, “Boo!” and kicked his feet out from under him. “Call off your friends or you will never feel safe alone in the dark. Understand?”

He took himself behind me and started a punch to my neck with his elbow. It was easy to see since I had a mirror in front of me. I slammed him into the sink. “Bad move. Do you understand me?”

He disappeared again. Two more appeared in the bathroom.

I went to where the third death was. He was in bed reading. The three deaths from before showed up.

The Death who was reading said, “Wait, don’t trash my apartment.”

I said, “Your folk killed me and killed my Fairy and you don’t want me to get blood on your place? How about I find all your homes and torch them? I wasn’t the one perusing you but now things have changed.”

The first Death, the one that tried to flag me down on the road appeared. “Everyone calm down. We need him in good shape and we need his help.

“Joshua, I wasn’t trying to attack you.”

I said, “Consider me a little trigger happy, before you go for your gun then. Do you all understand that if you move, even begin to make me feel threatened, you will personally feel the stress of being hunted that I have felt since I first met your kind.”

The Death said, “You really hate us.”

I said, “You ambushed me and killed me twice, you took away five years of love I could have had. You can blame others but you had their back all the time. You never policed your own. Not once. Till you start looking in the mirror to find your justice, don’t ever come looking at me.

“You say, ‘We don’t do that, but you back up those who do and continue pursuing the innocent that you have wronged. Don’t even try to defend yourselves. Just change and stay well away from me and mine. Every time you defend another bastard wearing your gang jacket, you tell me who you are. Every time you tell me to drop it, I wonder when you will drop it and change.”

Lithos summoned me. “Can you find out where the meeting is?”

I said, “I am in one of their bedrooms right now contemplating what I should do if one of them tries something. Right now there are five of them here so I may have to be rather brash if they try something.”

Lithos said, “Bring me through.”

I brought Lithos to where he was standing beside me.

Lithos said, “Gentlemen. There are two of us here. I am the one you need to deal with, but I owe this man more than you can possibly know. Keep this in mind. I know your order. I helped set it up and from here on out, you want both he and I to feel quite safe and never have an accident. Anything happens to him and I will judge that your order was a mistake and do what I can to clean up the mess I made.

“I can speak for Joshua since I know him quite well. If something happens to me, he will just assume that the first thing he needs to do is clean up and take out the trash.

“Joshua, sorry to involve you in this. I just keep causing you pain.”

The Death that originally flagged me down on the highway asked, “How are there two of you?”

I turned into a Lithos form and together Lithos and I said, “Personal secret.”

Lithos asked the Death, “I am assuming you will be at the meeting at Nine AM Eastern Time. I will see you then.

“Joshua, thank you. Sorry again for getting you involved in this.”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I said, “Deaths, you just persuaded me to leave the country of my birth. It seems like I can’t escape you here. I don’t suppose you understand what it feels like to have the land you love turned into a place you can never rest.”

Lithos said, “Joshua, we are still going to need you. The new plan is to fund the Deaths so they don’t have an excuse rob anyone. We need you to handle the transactions.”

I said, “Well that might be tricky since they feel duty bound to come after me. The last thing I want is for them to have evidence that I fund an evil supernatural organization in North America and that is pretty much what they are.”

#

Thorston, the man at the end of the table raised his beer. “To trying to get along in the here and here before.”

Maurice, the small man sitting beside me nudged me. “For you it would be the hereafter, but here before makes more sense you know.”

I asked, “And you don’t mind my saying, ‘you.’”

Maurice said, “I died in Turkey back in WWI, at the time, using thee and thou was only used in the smallest and most remote places.”

I asked the really small and ancient looking man on the other side of me, “Gorson, Am I offending thee?”

He shook his head. “Your buying the beer and as a chthonic, that would be underground dweller, to you, we tend to fall behind on everything. I have spent the last forty years trying to catch up with modern economics so while it makes me cringe, I need to get used to it. You live a few hundred years and you’ll see how hard it gets to keep up with changes.”

I asked, “I have quite a bit of gold various groups want me to exchange for legitimate money in Real. I am a bit worried I will impact the value of gold.”

Gorson laughed out loud. “Well, if your careful, you won’t hurt the exchanges or your rates. Lots of folk want gold and they have an interest in keeping the value of it high. The more they get the more they want and the more they want the price to rise.”

I asked, “So the European Deaths won’t be coming after me if I am careful?”

Maurice said, “We don’t find the title, ‘Death,’ appealing. Leprechaun, Gnome, or any of the old terms, are not to our liking. The term ‘Fairy,’ is likely to start a fight round here.”

Thorston said, “I rather liked the title, ‘Feegrenzsoldat,’ but it never caught on. The less mortal of us who try to keep up, are a bit tired of titles and organizations. It isn’t like we are anarchists, but since we psycopomps have been through life and prefer, no offense to you who straddle both, to keep the mortals on their side and safe while reining in the worst of the free spirits on ours.“

In general, if you recognize that a being is not bound to the living realm, it’s best to just relax on the issue. If you don’t know, then relax, there’s always going to be something you don’t know. In general, swinging iron around is as rude as serving gossamer to the living, but it’s always best to assume the forks might be steel in Real, and the grapes might be gossamer in Fairy.”

I said, “I appreciate the advice. So my next question is, since I don’t want to cause any issues, What is your preference for how I exchange gold from Fairy for cash in Real?”

“Sean, should we tell him?”

Thorston said, “He’s buying the beer, and it’s a benefit in the long runs so we might as well.”

“We have a long scam running on the worst of the Djinn. The are on to it, but they still can’t resist it. They know we are scamming their sense of values, but they can’t help themselves.”

Sean said, “You need to get your artwork noteworthy first. Sculpture you know. If your stuff is on the lists as valuable, there’s a market where you can sell art to Djinn. You make it in gold and you list the tinder as clean, fair and legal euro’s and let the Djinn bid on it. You do a double service. You take money from the Djinn, and the gold disappears never to be seen again. As long as your artwork continues to draw good money in Real, The Djinn will impoverish themselves to obtain your gold statues. No real talent needed apart from being able to sell yourself to the art community.”

I asked, “Any particular subjects?”

“They like horses, and bulls. Cattle are popular too. But you have to be popular and high priced in the Real markets or the Djinn will pass on your offers.”

Sean said, “You take ready legal cash from the Djinn and you might help the Real world survive a few more rotations around the sun, so if you manage this well, you can even make a few folk feel grateful to you.

#

In London I sat between two men and watched a slide show of previous art sold to Djinn.

Lindsey said, “This was one of the ones the Djinn went into a frenzy bidding on.”

Cathers pointed his red lazer pointer on a graceful curve on the representation of water being splashed through by running stallions. “This sort of swoop seems to excite the bidding. When you summoned me and asked about their preference, I hadn’t really done an analysis. We thought it was by artist, but then some artists do swoops and other don’t.”

I asked, “Do you think they go for the golden ratio?”

Lindsey said, “You would almost have to do research. Their bias is towards what others consider valuable. Sometimes their tastes seem childish, but we always thought it was purely based on the market till you started asking questions.”

I asked, “So how does one get their art popular?”

Cathers said, “I had an idea on that a few years back. Kind of forgot about it. Now that I am thinking about it I am wondering if I should save it for someone good. How is your artwork?”

I considered it. I had been gifted art and I had been doing sketches to keep in shape, but for the most part I did doodles of graphs showing intersecting points to help me with my calculations when programming. I drew a quick set of fractal curves that I thought looked like ocean water and extrapolated it to a three dimensional look and put a rough and blocky image of a stallion running across the ocean generating the waves.

Cathers said, “Make that in gold and give it to me, doesn’t have to big and it can be a preliminary for a larger one. Then I will share my idea with you.”

I put down a gateway, and went to Fairy.

#

In a stone arena with a sand floor, I sat on the stone steps and ran a few fractal projections on my laptop and made adjustments before making it in illusion and then gossamer. After adjusting it I made a small version of the sculpture like you might see on a businessman's desk. I picked it up and was surprised at how heavy it was. I made another that I thought would hold up better. It was heavier. I went back to where I had left Cathers and Lindsey.

I put the statues on the desk. “I’m not really practiced with sculpture so I think my next work will be less amateurish. This one is the original, Cathers, pick the one you want. Lindsy for you help the other one is yours.”

Cathers said, “So here is my idea. If you can do the molding with gossamer in Fairy, you can cast with materials from Real. You make some aluminum castings and you get with the city management and a few museums. There are opportunities to study art in a lot of museums. Mostly copying things but it can make you visible in a few art communities. This is just basic work.

“What you need to aim for is the owners and directors of marketing firms that do video shoots. Give them a deal on a few works of art and they will want your stuff to go up in a value since it makes their stuff go up in value. They will put your stuff in the background of ads and you will have free advertising. Give it a few years and you’ll be famous.”

I said, “I need something faster.”

Lindsey said, “Buy some ads. Make it charity work. There is always a cause that needs money and if your art is in the background of the famous actor making a plea for help, you can then donate the art and get it auctioned in one of the big mortal houses. Hard to do it much faster.”

#

As a raven I flew to the top of the building a film crew was setting up in front of. I didn’t know anyone yet. I had made a few donations and I had paid for upper end membership at a few museums, but the meetings and parties where I might get to know people were in the future and I wanted something faster.

With one of my donations I managed to get on a list where people were looking for producers to pay for charity projects, but it didn’t look like I was hot tracked to meet anyone. They wanted money and no involvement.

It didn’t look like I could walk in and just talk to the people who where setting up to film, so once again I felt like I was wasting my time.

I landed on the other side of the building and walked up to the tape barrier in human form. I might have gotten someone’s attention if I was in Lithos’ handsome form, but the last thing Lithos would want would be the chance that someone caught his likeness on camera.

There were vendors selling artwork at a plaza nearby. So I walked over to get an idea of what might be popular. I stopped when I saw a huge canvas like they use for sets in plays that had an image that caught my attention. A girl that I guessed was in high school asked, “You like it?”

I said, “It looks like a scene you might see in Fairy. The small curvature of the sky and the--”

She grabbed my arm. “Have you been to Fairy?”

I looked at her and resisted going to Fairy. I looked back at the painting. “If I had, would I be saying? Should a high school girl really be grabbing a strange man’s arm?”

She said, “I’m forty-five. I don’t think I am aging anymore.”

I asked, “Have you been to Fairy?”

She said, “I met a boy. He said he was a king of Fairy. I liked him but I didn’t want to, well you know. He took me to Fairy. I got scared so he took me home. I haven’t aged since.”

I asked, “Do you still love him?”

She said, “I was sixteen. I don’t know. Probably not but maybe. Do you know the king of Fairy? Have you met him? Is he single?”

I smiled. “Are these your works?”

She said, “I do sets for the community theater. Then I sell the flats I paint.”

I looked at the price on it. “Eight thousand?”

She said, “I don’t sell a lot and the price per inch makes it a steal.”

I asked, “If I buy it, can you keep it for a while? I don’t have a place for it. Or at least I don’t know if I have a place for it.”

She asked, “Really?”

I asked, “What do you use to paint this with?”

She said, “This one is acrylic. Usually I use tempera. Do you really like it that much?”

I said, “It has a lot of nice detail that would have been missed out in the audience. I am just looking for examples of art I can use to try and get better. I need to be a famous artist fast.”

She laughed and leaned in against me. “Good luck with that. I have been trying for years.”

I said, “Can you prove you are forty-five?”

She backed up, “Why? I go through it all the time and it gets tiring.”

I said, “Never mind then. Do you come here often?”

She backed up another step. I looked at the painting and decided I needed to see if I could keep it at one of my offices in Scotland.

#

After finding a place to put the painting I flew back over the building where the filming was going on. It looked like there was a break going on, but still no way to meet anyone. I flew down to a spot near the plaza where the artists were gathered.

A person was shouting, “Does anyone play guitar well? A hundred and sixty pounds for a few hours work if you qualify.”

A couple of people were watching me as a Raven so I flew to a further spot where I could transform. I ran back to where the person was shouting since he looked like he was with the film crew.

He looked at the guitar I had brought out after transforming. “Can you play sad music?”

I started playing, Chet Atkins “Cancion Triste.” since without words it always seemed to make me cry. It wasn’t terribly sad, but for me it brought tears every time.

The man said, “Can you save the tears for the camera?”

I nodded and stopped playing.

#

I was on the set, I was playing guitar and being filmed in the background. They kept asking for different music and doing takes. They wanted live and the kids they had for the job were getting bored with doing the same thing over and over. I didn’t recognize the famous face that was telling the same sad tale asking for money over and over.

I did get to hear the actor threatening another man, “If this doesn’t help clean my reputation, your fired. I could have been on a beach in Southern France but no.”

The man answered, “I didn’t hit the child. You did.”

When the filming stopped. I went to the refreshments table. The actor I didn’t recognize smiled and shook my hand. “Great work there. It’s good to work with a pro.”

I smiled weakly. The only person I had met and connected with that had any connections was someone I didn’t want connections with.

One of the crew members said, “See you at the party?”

I asked, “Party?”

He named a place. I looked it up on my cell phone.

He said, “Bring the guitar, if you want. You might make a few connections. Bring a date if you want.”

#

I walked back to where the girl was selling art and took out eight thousand euros. I thought about asking if she wanted to go to a party, but even if she wasn’t sixteen, taking a sixteen year old looking girl to a party was probably a bad idea. “Will cash do?”

She shouted, “Andy, can you hold onto some cash for me?”

A large man came over and looked at me. He shook his head. “Sylvia, stay away from this one, he looks like trouble. Mister, I want you to just walk away.”

Sylvia said, “Don’t run off a sale.”

Andy said, “Some things aren’t safe to mess with.”

I looked at Andy and used my extra senses to see more clearly what was happening. “Let me give you some serious advice. If you love a girl, just come clean. Don’t risk loosing a single year of your possible love. I had no way to stop it, but I lost five years and now my love is gone with another.”

Sylvia asked, “What is with you two?”

I said, “Usually I keep secrets safe but I just met Andy and he is trying to threaten me. Your Fairy king is right here and he has been watching over you all this time.”

Sylvia had the look of a girl who was putting things together in her head after missing every connection. I walked away from the couple as they embraced. Sylvia just lost a sale as she found her love. I hoped it would work out for them.

#

I was playing guitar at the party. It gave me an excuse not to look at the girls there. I could look at the strings and get all serious looking like the parts were hard.

A girl asked, “How long did it take you to master all of this?”

I said, “I had a good teacher.” and kept playing.

Once again, magic wasn’t fair. I was playing music easily that musicians worked ages to master.

She said, “I’m Opal, I should have practiced.”

I looked at her. She was one of the producers. Not the ones that provide the money, but the ones that talk others into providing money. She was sort of like a director of the director that the director came to when something was going to cost more.

I realized I had almost let my chance pass me by. This girl had connections like a bird had feathers. She managed putting together commercials.

I said, “I’m Joshua Bear. This is really your project isn’t it?”

She smiled, “Don’t tell anyone. There are at least nine people here at the club who think they did it. That’s the trick to managing the great egos of the world.”

I asked her, “Don’t consider this a brush off. I am enjoying this, but why are you sitting here and not shmoozing with the important people?”

She shrugged. “I have an instinct. I probably shouldn’t say this to you. But I have another instinct that says I should. While I was looking around the room thinking about my next project and who I was going to get to back it, I kept looking at you. I can’t tell you why, but first off, you look hurt. Really hurt. That makes you vulnerable and easy to manipulate and you seem to radiate vulnerable and easy to manipulate anyway.

“I was a horrible little girl from a horrible rich family. I knew how to get my way and who to get what I wanted from. I grew up and now I regret being such a monster. I expect I will burn in hell for it and I mean it. So now I try to do charity work, but I am profiting from it, so I expect hell will still take me.”

I asked, “So what brought you over here was my being an easy target?”

She said, “No, you play the old stuff. The stuff they turn into elevator music, but you play it like it’s fresh. Your kind of cute so I was thinking I might have you hang on my arm for a few months. Seriously don’t,, I’m a horrible girl friend. I don’t want to be selfish, but it always ends up that way.

“So here is my real confession. I looked around to see who in the room had the most disposable income. Rich is fine and dandy, but to invest in videos, especially charity videos, take money. I can find real charities, not the ones that twist it back into profit, but after getting donations to the charity, I get to produce a video and I make a profit off of the charities expenses. I think it does good, but since I profit, I am not sure it makes me any good karma.

“When I looked at you, I knew or at least suspected, that you were the mother load. I think you have more expendable cash than anyone I have ever seen before. So I am thinking I can probably get you to cough up and easy six million euro’s and not blink.”

I kept playing. I didn’t see any magic on her, but she clearly had something. “I am in a situation where I could come up with that kind of money. But my needs are complicated. I want to remain private, but I need to be a famous artist.”

She asked, “Like Banksy?”

I said, “I don’t need to be controversial. I just need my sculptures to become valuable.”

She asked, “Can I see your work?”

I pointed to one of the rings she was wearing, “Can I borrow that ring?”

She took it off a different ring and handed it to me. I took my guitar off and handed it to her. “Hold this for me.”

I went to the bathroom, set up a gateway and went to the Fairyland Bell had given me.

#

I sat on the stone steps in my Fairyland and looked at the ring she had given me. It was a ladies ring and it had a working clock on the face. I duplicated it using the magical tools Quinn had taught me. I made a gossamer lens to study my work as I took it apart and reproduced it in gossamer. After playing around with the elements in it I got fancy with it and started changing things around. I wasn’t sure about matching time with it so I gave up on the clock as I made tiny characters move by the gears turning. Her ring clock had a small mechanical chime so I played with that and managed to make one play just a few notes from “Puff the Magic Dragon.” This wasn’t what I had planned, her clock ring inspired me to make something different. I was enjoying the project, so after making a few samples and fixing it up I went back to the bathroom in Real.

#

Opal was holding my guitar and trying to play it while a pair of girls were laughing with her. I gave her ring back.

She looked at it and said, “You messed with the time on it.”

I said, “Sorry.”

I handed her another ring. She looked at it and asked, “Why did you need to borrow my ring?”

I said, “Sorry again, I just wanted it to fit you. After I saw the ring you handed me I got inspired.”

Opal held out her hand. “You make jewelry and carry stuff to adjust rings with you?”

I shrugged and took her hand and put the ring on her. I pushed the button so the curtain pulled back and the tiny girl started dancing with the dragon as the music played.

Another girl said, “You didn’t make this.”

I took a handful of failures and half taken apart mechanisms out of my pocket. “Yes, I really did.”

Opal said, “I think we can work with this. I think we can make you as famous an artist as you could want. I will need to film the studio where you work. It needs to be impressive and you need a lot of unfinished and finished work to show off.”

I said, “I only want to be famous to the right people.”

#

I looked over my holdings and investment and the places where I had applied to get citizenship. I had several properties I had never seen. One of them in Malta looked like it would make a nice studio for a rich artist. Most of the farm buildings were in ruins, but the groves mostly looked good, there was a stone building that looked like it could be made into a studio. I acquired it over five years ago and never visited it. I guess it was about time.

I summoned King Surmium, “Onion, this is Joshua calling, did you ever visit my place in Malta?”

He asked, “Do you need me to get you there? We never taught you the language, but a few Domestic Fairies moved in. Sorry, we arranged for the regular help to stop visiting. I am sure one of the Domestic Fairies will be happy to gift you with Maltese. Let me get there and I will summon you.”

#

King Surmium summoned me and brought me to a room with large stairway that led to a balcony above. I had seen this in the pictures where it was a ruin with most of the roof gone and rubble scattered. Now it was repaired and beautiful. I had expected to just have the small stone house and the stone building intact. I expected to have to have the ancient machinery in the stone building either hauled of or used to make art from.

King Surmium led me to an office with a view of the fields. “This is your study. Your papers are in the main drawer of the desk. Since they drive on the left side of the road here, we decided not to obtain a drivers license for you.”

I opened the drawer. I had identification and citizenship.

There was a note, “Sorry, since they drive on the left, we decided not to get you a license.”

King Surmium said, “Again we have abused your generosity. Apart from making a small amount of profit for your estate growing potatoes, olives, oranges and lemons. We have mostly been taking the food to Fairy. We did repair the ruins though.”

I walked through more of the rooms. Everything made it look like the owner kept busy and the restored mansion looked lived in and cared for. I stepped out on a terrace. Onion said, “Kind of sad really. Still things change.”

I asked, “What is so sad?”

Onion said, “Since you were frozen in time to try and keep you alive, we did the best we could repairing and keeping the place up. Olive and I have had some really nice parties here during the last five years and almost got to feeling like this was ours. Now that you have seen it, I expect you will be calling this home. Still, you might be kind and invite us to visit from time to time.”

A Fairy wearing a maid outfit came in. “King Surmium, Lord Bear, I can gift Maltese.”

I bowed and she gifted me. Then she gifted King Surmium.

In Maltese she asked, “King Surmium insisted that we conform with basic standards since we might have someone come to the door. But on the internet, most maid outfits are a lot prettier and a lot of them are worn with cat ears. Can we please have cat ears?”

King Surmium shook his head. “Not my decision anymore, but I advise against it.”

I said, “We could try it but only when we don’t have visitors.”

She smiled and ran off.

King Surmium said, “Great, your going to turn this place into a maid cafe if you aren’t careful.”

The maid came running back out. She had real cat ears and a real tail.

I blushed, “Maybe not the tail, and the ears definitely need to be fake if anyone could possibly see. I think cute is better than sexy and the cat cut out, while being adorable is going to make me look like a perv that makes you dress that way.”

King Surmium said, “I warned you.”

I asked, “What buildings do we need for the farm and what can I convert to a sculpture studio that makes large castings in aluminum and gold?”

#

I took over a hall Olive and Onion had used for dances and made it into my art studio. I ordered used equipment. Not to save money, but so it would appear like I might have had it for a few years. Using this amazing hall with balconies and windows for a studio seemed excessive but if I wanted to look like a rich artist, this was nearly perfect. I had to hurry on this since Opal wanted to know where my studio was and when she could bring in a film crew.