I was walking through the fields of my fairyland when I saw a group of cottages. There were a few silo’s a barn and a stable. I didn’t see any horses, so I walked towards it and noticed a few Fairies dressed for field work coming out of a cottage. I hadn’t really thought about where they lived, but it made sense they might avoid the castle.
Bell summoned me as I turned on a small trail beside a stream.
“Joshua, Bell here, bring me through as soon as you have a chance.
I brought him through the summons.
Bell held out a cell phone. “Here’s your new cell phone. Put it next to your old one and tell it, ‘assimilate.’ Then look for the training app so you can learn how to use the thing.”
I pulled out my cell phone with the broken screen and held it beside the new one. “Assimilate.”
The new cell phone shifted and looked like the old one. I tried it out. It was exactly like the old one. “There isn’t a training app.”
Bell took it from me and threw it to the ground and stomped on it with both feet. I backed up.
Bell picked it up and handed it to me. “Tell it to auto upgrade. Don’t worry, you’ll have to do better than that to break it. It was great having you look at me like I had gone loony. Since you are using me like this, I figured it would be fair play.”
I said, “The consensus of your minds is crazy.”
Bell smiled at me. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I looked at the phone, “Auto upgrade.”
Things started changing. I asked, “How does it know I’m talking to it?”
On the screen were the words, “You are looking at me. You could name me and address me. That is typical.”
I asked, “What’s a good name for a phone?”
A list appeared on the phone. I scrolled through it. It apparently wanted me to give it a girls name but it was using ones that were pretty uncommon.
“Do you want a girls name?”
“Listing girls names first. No preference implied, short, rarely used and distinctive words are considered best for naming.” appeared over the list of names.
I asked Bell, “Is the phone waterproof?”
Bell said, “Once you name it, it’s hard to destroy.”
When I met all the horses that were people and Fairies and automobiles at the same time, I looked up horse breeds. One of the ones that stuck in my mind was the Eriskay pony. I didn’t remember much more than description of how tough and weather resistant they were. I wasn’t sure of the spelling so I said, “Phone, your name is Eriskay, like the pony breed.”
On the screen it read, “Do you mean, ‘Eriskay,’ or ‘Eriskay like the pony breed?’”
I said, ‘Eriskay.”
I looked at the display. It had a picture of a gray pony set as the background.
Bell said, “Now read the training app. I’m going to the castle to explore.”
He started walking off so I sat down by the stream and started reading.
“This is the Shadowspawn Beta 3.3.2 Every Day Carry or EDC device. Please report flaws by directing this device to report the current flaw. While it would be preferred to have full data for analysis of the flaw, you may specify limits on the recording that will be sent with the report in case privacy is required. If this any portion of this EDC is manifest during combat a full report will automatically be sent.”
The app continued to describe the phone as a collection of nonspecific devices capable of manifesting themselves at the convenience of it’s user. It also specified that unless I was employed on the Antumbra the range of clothing it would manifest was limited and the use of it as a weapon was extremely limited. Since Ursula regularly attacked me and sometimes things got interesting afterward, I decided to never wear this as clothing and to try and use it in limited situations.
When it got to the computer emulation, I realized why Bell had given me this insane and wonderful gift. Someone had already been exploring the physics of Fairy and they had used their knowledge to create this wonderful tool. From the voice of the writing of this app and guide to the EDC device, it seemed like the designer also wrote the instruction and didn’t expect anyone to be checking all the cross notes and descriptions he had put in, almost like puzzles. If this thing did half of what it said it did, it was more amazing than anything I had imagined. Yet the creator of this seemed to be playing a game by making this. I wondered if he was too smart to be sane.
I had wondered at times if my own perception and programming skills made me crazy. I wanted to talk with this guy but I feared I wasn’t smart enough to hold a conversation.
I knew programming, statistics and a few things I had to learn to write programs to deal with the subjects concerned. I had been gifted with international law, finance and loopholes. My gifting was from the twisty, almost illegal and probably should be illegal side of law and finance, but that was a lot different from physics and metaphysics.
I knew enough in enough fields to realize this fellow knew more about programming, law, physics and just about everything else I knew. I could only assume he knew the other fields as well. Odd thing was, as smart as he was, even in his manual he was clearly trying to prove to the astute reader that he was smart. How could someone so brilliant, possibly feel insecure?
#
In an office in Scotland, owned by a company I had gotten over five years ago and kept as a legitimate brick and mortar cover for several other businesses, I smiled at a scowling old man.
“I am about to transfer a large set of funds to the purchasing account in New Ross. I want to be made a purchasing assistant and to be transferred to the department in New Ross. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to make any changes, I just need credentials that will open a few doors for me.”
He tried to put a warm countenance on a face that had long ago given up on smiling. “Do you know the owner?”
I nodded.
He asked, “Are we legitimate?”
I asked, “How many businesses are these days? Most of our profit gets put right back into the company, and the rest gets spent on research equipment. Does our legitimacy bother you?”
He looked at a print out of the details I had emailed him. “I retire soon. We have twenty employees that are payed well. They are content enough, but they don’t see the side of the business I do. For five years we have been managing on our own and suddenly huge amounts of cash are moving again. Money like our company hasn’t seen for five years and suddenly we are managing accounts again. I don’t want to see the small folk get crushed in the big gears.”
I said, “As long as you make sure your replacement is as honest as you are, things should be fine.”
#
As the director of purchasing and his close minions dined with the big wheels and salesmen of the first computer company I had targeted, I sat at the table with the support crew, technicians and programmers. I had sat at these tables before but on the other side. I knew the questions to ask and I had the skills to figure out who the real programmers were and who kept it all running. As the alcohol flowed and I kept changing form to stay sober, the arguments started and the laptops came out so the arguments could be settled. I made hand gestures when I wanted Eriskay to make copies of the laptops.
After the late night party, I had a pair of them that wanted to show me what they had been working on, so I was taken past security and into their offices. A security office checked me and stayed with us. I had Eriskay record mainframes as they showed me the server room and workstations as we went through the areas where programmers were burning the midnight oil.
The secrets I was obtaining were not the typical business secrets. I was collecting the secrets behind the fastest algorithms for analyzing data and the fastest reliable computers that were being used to analyze data. In this case, I was doing corporate espionage. I was about to sink a lot of money into expensive data analysis tools and I expected the company I had set up to deal with this was going to be able to turn a profit, but my real purpose was to have the tools in Fairy to learn more about the limits of Fairy. Oddly enough, the tool I was using to do the analysis, Eriskay, was going to be analyzing outliers in physics experiments, but it would also be analyzing itself. Since Eriskay represented the cutting edge of understanding, I was about to see if Eriskay would allow itself to be researched.
#
I summoned Bell. “Bell, this is Joshua, are you free to visit me?”
Bell came through my summons. He sat quietly for a while before he spoke. “As you surmised, the creator of your EDC device is not one of my personalities. You were also correct in assuming that there had to be more than one of my type for me to not have a copy of him. Your method of testing if he was spying on you all the time is also rather brilliant so I feel more than vindicated by the risk of incorporating you.”
I said, “So when the EDC is all put away, no spying is going on?”
Bell said, “Yes. I really need to introduce you to Quinn. He’s the inventor. Problem is, he is in Roc’s inventory of minds, and right now you are outmaneuvering all of them. You have an instinctive understanding of security and you are my trump card in a very long game.”
I led him into the server room where the real research was taking place.
Bell looked up at a rack of servers. “So you used your EDC to analyze flaws in this computer system. You had it take the form and upgrade and then you got a copy of the update.
Then with these computers disconnected from any outside communications paths, you used these computers to analyze the differences. Then you fixed and upgraded these computers as best you could using secure real world methods to eliminate back doors and upgrade security.
“Then you went back and checked for any back doors in the original upgrade done by your EDC and you ran parallel analysis on your data and discovered that your EDC stopped being honest a third of the way through the process and another process was injected.”
Bell smiled broadly. “I love you. I can’t tell you how wonderful this is.”
I asked Bell, “So can I trust my EDC, but not it’s computer results?”
Bell said, “Quinn, the prankster who made it, is a dear nephew of mine. He is also a goody-two shoes. He probably put processes in to warn him if his tools were being used to research potentially dangerous areas. You know, bombs, drugs, diseases, that sort of thing. Then he probably noticed that what you had on your EDC was at the mildest, the most extreme form of corporate espionage. But then he wouldn’t have been able to resist looking at it all, despite, like you, only using the information to then make your own decision on programming and still feeling guilty about it.
“But the best part of this, is that Quinn was caught. Your beautiful. Really you are. Despite like being a cancer inside me plotting openly to alter me, you really are beautiful.”
I asked, “Have you looked at my results so far?”
Bell said, “Only a tenth of me can follow it. Only a tenth of those can deal with it. Only a tenth of those are willing to use the results. I am rounding a lot but you realize that your results go past the border of Daftness.”
I rubbed my hands together. “It makes sense if you look at it. Order by definition means rules and restrictions. If we examine the order of reality, we are examining, by definition, a restricted set of what is Real. It is like basing all your observation on whole and positive numbers. It may be the only way to do rational research, but rational research ignores the majority of what is possible.”
“The data sets we are using are looking at the extreme results, and reducing all the flaws we can from the research. Then we are looking at graphs of the outliers and charting them in a hundred thousand ways looking for curves we might not otherwise see. We are still limited. We are looking at a restricted and consistent set of data outside the original restricted and consistent sets.
“So the odds are, that however daft this data may seem, the true reality, outside of our reality is even more daft by orders of daft magnitude.”
Bell held out a small vial of fluid. “I have to do this on occasion. I want you to go to sleep so I can get a full record of you and make a locked copy in case you push yourself past reason. You are too valuable to lose to daftness.”
#
In a two story villa in around a courtyard with citrus trees, I sat on a balcony and looked at the valley below.
Eloise said, “I am beginning to get used to this place. I miss the one near Ochate but, honestly the resident Fairies were a bit much.”
Queen Cypsela said, “I thought their existence would give us cover, but it drew more attention than we wanted. Are you through with your calculations, Joshua?”
I kept watching a lone goat wandering near the stream in the distance. “There are some more complex patterns that the computers will be checking, but we don’t have enough points of data to do much more than we have. We might as well consider ourselves finished till we get more data to analyze.”
Jack asked, “Is that goat one of ours?”
King Surmium said, “No. We have been watching it carefully. So far it is doing a good job of being a goat, but when a critter shows up at the start of the full moon, we always get suspicious. Does anyone have any practical application to the data Josh has given us?”
Renate got up and went to the railing. “The chickens are using the data to line up lenses to test the validity of the patterns. After they get some confirmation, they will be asking us to help them with planning the next set of research.
“Josh, expect a request for more gold to be converted to cash so we can set up the next experiments.
“You know, I think that goat has noticed that I am watching it.”
Randal got up, went to the rail beside Renate and leaned out. “No reaction to me and it isn’t looking at me.”
King Surmium said, “Shout, ‘Cabrito,’ and see how it reacts.”
Renate said, “Don’t. We should try to get along with our neighbors. King Surmium, you can go back to your Fairyland, you’ve had too much to drink.”
Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.
#
I sat with Dalan, Dantin and Samuel playing Whist in the main hall of my castle. Around us wizards and Daemons were loudly declaring their bidding while playing bridge.
I looked over my hand and then held it back. “I am wondering why we even have this club. It seems a hideous waste of a Fairyland, it isn’t like I get peace or a fine reputation from it. Hearing Bridge bids that make it obvious that a simple computer program could play bridge better than most of the players here and equal to the best I wonder if this is insanity.
“Yet here we sit, playing Whist, a game so simplistic it is only barely better than Bridge. The Deaths keep trying to summon me, The retired Deaths here in the club are getting hard to avoid, and I wonder why I have continued to allow this useless organization to stay here.
“Samuel, Dalan, Dantin, you can of course stay, but before I do something rash, tell me the benefits of letting these other folk gather in my Fairyland.”
Dalan smiled warmly and looked over at Dantin. “I had almost given up.”
Samuel said, “I knew it all along. He must have had a twin soul ready for this.”
Dantin said, “Finally, we have the old Lithos back. We missed you so much.”
I said, “I’m me, not Lithos, don’t fool yourselves.”
Samuel said, “The oldest of us, were regularly written over and rewritten by our fathers. As our bodies were updated and our minds replaced, we learned over thousands of years to recognize ourselves despite such alterations. Our duties and bodies, even changed, shaped us and we ended up being who we were and when we discovered the messages we hid to remind ourselves of who we were, we learned to recognize ourselves even when all memory was gone.
“You are new software in an ancient form. You were written by experiences less than thirty years old. You will always be you. Of course. But by being in the mind and brain of Lithos, you will be shaped by the same forces, however updated and modern, that shaped Lithos ages ago. Honestly anyone who knew Lithos well, would recognize you even in your human form.”
I threw down my cards. “Don’t get me cornered to where someone thinks I am impersonating Lithos again. That has caused too much suffering. Only you three have this giant hole in your lives where you had a loyal friend for thousands of years disappear. No one else is shouting that I am Lithos.”
From across the hall, Gregory, Ursula’s father shouted. “I regret my mistake. I was fooled entirely. It was clear and obvious, but got twisted around. I am sorry Lithos, I should have know that you had to be you.”
I got up. “Yeah, right. I’m Joshua. It’s a family name, not that a name defines me, but I am, like you say, less than thirty. No way I can be Lithos.”
As I walked out of the hall another Daemon member of the club said, “Same old Lithos. It’s good to have him back.”
#
In the Fairyland where I put all the gateways, I was in Daemon form sitting in the gazebo with a pair of wizards from the lodge.
Larry Noe said, “Medon, this next moon we are having a new induction. Eighteen members. In the past you have demonstrated why magic was not needed in duels. Do you think you could do another demonstration for the new members?”
I shook my head.
Lorrissa furrowed her brow. “When I was inducted into the Lodge of Effervescent Charms, the classes were all about drawing circles, holding fingers and hands in odd postures and visualizing red triangles. The only thing that made me think the Lodge was bright and charming was the way you did the sudden swift attacks on your opponents.”
Larry Noe said, “The Lodge’s name is a joke. Effervescent charms refers to the spells used to open the bubble shaped gateway we fight inside. Effervescent means it makes bubbles. A charm is a spell.”
Lorrissa asked, “What point in magic if you don’t have beauty and grace? Medon, you have to do your presentation.”
I said, “I will consider it.”
#
Ursula threw me to the ground, Rolled and got on top of me. “I think you should do the demonstration.”
I asked, “What if a girl volunteers? You know how I get when I am close to girls and I am not so sure about your reaction. We haven’t been married long and what if you get jealous?”
Ursula asked, “Are any of them as pretty as I am?”
“Probably not, but I have noticed that you don’t let any of your Fairies wrestle with me.”
Ursula said, “Same problem as you have but in reverse. All my followers are romantics. Violent romantics but still romantic. You throw one down or they throw you down and they will be pining over a love the cannot have and I will never hear the end of it. No matter how loyal a follower is, you can’t trust a woman that wants your man to guard your back.
“But a human, mortal, girl wizard who is just learning to throw spells after discovering they can do magic will-- Okay, your right. No demonstration, at least not with a woman.”
I said, “My feeling is that the men sensitive to magic might be as much of an issue that way.”
Ursula said, “I almost want to go there. It would be fun to pretend to not know anything and take the classes but I don’t want to go through the vows. I want to see what I might have missed in my magical education.”
#
In the Fairyland where I put all the gateways, Ursula and I sat with three wizards. Ursula had scooted right next to me and had her arm around me. Lorrissa and Madison were pretty enough but Ursula had no reason to feel jealous. Despite that, she was making it clear who I belonged to.
Larry said, “I like the idea of having a demonstration of skill from outside the lodge, but pretending to belong introduces the issue of our vows of secrecy. We are fairly open about gifting and duels with those outside the lodge, but our initial training is part of what we keep secret.”
Madison said, “Ages ago, I sort of got a crush on you, Medon. I was certain I had the secrets to defeating you, and then well everyone has seen the way Medon charges in and tosses you. Despite being angry with you since my neck hurt for two weeks after the choke hold you had me in. Even while hurting my heart still fluttered when I though about you.
“So I asked around and found out you were tired of your old club and helped start this one on a whim. Can you vouch that Ursula knows all the magic we would be training?”
I said, “I can assure you that Ursula taught me most of the combat related magic I know.”
Larry said, Jessica and Melissa with both need to approve of this. Shall we go to the lodge?”
#
Ursula continued holding onto my hand as we walked to the lodge.
Larry took us to a table at the back of the dining area where a group of wizards were planning classes. Ursula was holding onto my arm and looking around at the wizards that were getting orders taken and eating.
Larry said, “Medon wants to go through the initiates training classes with his wife, Ursula and pretend he is one of the new initiates. His wife doesn’t want to take our vows though.”
A woman said, “There is a statue of Medon that the initiates have already seen. It’s a pretty good statue so they will recognize him in a moment. We would also have to see proof that his wife already knew all the spells we train the initiates to use. She would have to prove her competence in combat.”
One of the men at the table stood. “Easy enough, Ursula, I challenge you to non-lethal, combat. Standard gifting rules apply.”
Ursula asked, “When do we fight?”
The man said, “Soon as possible I guess. We will need witnesses, but when you are ready.”
Ursula asked the group at the table, “Would this group do as witnesses?”
He said, “Yes, I suppose.”
Ursula said, “Okay, right now, be warned and ready.”
As he started to wave his hand in negation, he saw her drop. He tried to back up, but Ursula sprung into a roll and pushed him into the air with her legs. As he flailed and started coming down, she spun, sweeping a chair out of the way. She caught the man and held his neck in the crook of her arm. “Do you surrender?”
The woman that mentioned the statue said, “She’s faster than Medon. I think we can give her a pass.”
The man said, “I surrender.”
Ursula helped him stand and then came back over and clutched my arm possessively. She looked up at me and smiled, “Is my hair a mess?”
I brushed her hair back. “Your perfect as always.”
She said, “You could go as Joshua. They won’t recognize you in human form.”
I turned into me in human form. “Just call me Joshua Bear. This is my better half, Ursula Bear.”
Five Deaths appeared. One of them stepped forward. “You are hard to get a hold of Joshua.”
Ursula said, “If they move, you take the two on the far left.”
The one in the center, said, “We aren’t here to fight.”
Ursula said, “I have heard that before. Everyone back up. This could get ugly. They came in force and they may bring more.”
The one in the center asked. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Ursula shifted position. One of the Deaths invoked a spell.
I spun wide. I let my spin precess seemingly out of control like a top will when it shifts between stable spinning patterns. As I dropped lower, I pulled in my arms in and spun on one foot while grabbing a Death. Activating toughness I knocked the legs out from under two deaths and hooked my foot around the leg of a third and pulled myself in and held his leg as I heard his knee pop. As he was brought into the spin we slowed and I rammed him into a Death that was starting to get up. A Death disappeared so I glanced in the reflection of a ceramic mug and spotted him behind me. I threw a charm of strength as I converted my remaining spin into a roll and got up beside another table. Three more Deaths appeared beside the one that had appeared behind me. Ursula was diving towards me so I reached out and as she contacted me I took us to Fairy.
#
Ursula pulled me close and took us to the Fallen Sands. “Ladies, It’s showtime.”
I asked, “What now?”
Ursula said, “They are fools and chase what flees them. We pick a less vulnerable spot, They will show up in force and then we spring the trap. Stay close to me.”
We were brought through a summons to a large river bed with a small stream that had cut a channel in the stone we were standing on. There were large boulders at one of the banks and several waterfalls. Trees bent over the banks and partially shaded the sides of the river bed.
A single death appeared on the bank upstream of us.
He cupped his hands and shouted, “Can we talk?”
Ursula said, “They are learning. Don’t approach him. They could have thirty more in the woods waiting for a signal.”
I shouted. “You have ruined five years and more of our lives. You have attacked without justice or justification. I was murdered in cold blood and then my Fairy was killed. How do you make up for that and why would we trust your gang of killers?”
He shouted. “We have had a few bad Deaths, things are different now.”
Two Death appeared closer to us.
Ursula whispered. “Wait for a few more. When I drop, hit the ground, but stay out of the water.”
From the bank opposite were the Death had been yelling from a wooden ship with masts sailed in. It moved faster than a ship should, ignored the wind and it was floating over the trees. A black flag was being raised on one of the masts.
The Deaths close to us disappeared and appeared beside the Death further away. The ship came down and sunk into the stone river bed as if the stone was water. I saw the gateway the ship was in and figured out the ship was in a Fairyland and the gateway was open like the dueling circles the wizards used. Whoever was moving the ship, was able to move the gateway.
A sweet looking but angry girl with a lush figure was sitting with her legs dangling over the side of the ship. A raccoon was sitting beside her.
A huge and repulsive insect was behind them shifting its head to look and then dropping out of sight before lifting it’s head again.
The curvaceous girl shouted, “Deaths, you cause a single problem and I take you straight to hell.”
She turned to look at Ursula. “Can you not blow everything up? This river is too pretty.”
One of the Deaths shouted, “We are just trying to negotiate.”
The girl said, “Negotiation is bloody well over. From here on out you take directions or you are going to regret not getting killed by Ursula.”
One of the Deaths shouted, “We don’t take order from you, Avery.”
The girl disappeared and appeared behind the Deaths. The Deaths were then wrapped in tentacles before the girl and they all disappeared.
They appeared again. The men had beards and looked like they had been fighting and none of them won.
The girl said, “Best stay quiet till you can say something polite.”
Then she disappeared and appeared near us. She smiled at me and I went to the Fairyland where I had made all the gateways.
#
There were a couple of wizards arguing in the gazebo. I summoned Ursula.
“Ursula, Joshua here.”
Ursula asked, “Is she your type?”
“Sweet looking girls scare me.”
Ursula said to someone with her, “Avery, don’t smile at Joshua when you see him, you’ll scare him away.”
There was a pause and then Ursula again spoke to someone else. “You’ll have to ask him, I never got a clear answer.”
“Joshua, come on through.”
I appeared beside Ursula and kept from looking at the girl named Avery.
Avery said, “We have a while before the Deaths are going to be able to speak politely. I have made it very clear that when I am around they are to obey me like I were a mean baby sitter, their mom was dead and their father had a crush on me.
“So why do girls scare you?”
I looked at Ursula and she nodded.
I looked down since I didn’t want to leave involuntarily. “I get crushes easily. The girls I get a crush on and their friends figure it out quick and then you know what happens.”
Ursula asked, “What happens?”
“Apart from my lovely Ursula, they crush your heart. You know the way girls do when they figure out a boy likes them. They tell all your secrets and laugh.”
Avery said, “I can see that. I never tried that method, might have worked but it would have made me a mean girl. My experience is that when they find out a guy likes you the girls gang up to make your life miserable. Maybe crushing the guys feelings is the only way to keep the other girls from attacking you.”
Ursula said, “Men just keep buying you stupid stiletto shoes and think they are being nice by doing it.”
One of Ursula’s Lieutenants, the girl that summoned us to the river bed, said, “Apart from Joshua, men are all pigs.”
One of the Deaths shouted, “I think I can be polite now.”
All three of the girls shouted, “Shut up.”
Avery continued, “We are having a discussion and you aren’t invited to speak. Stay right there till we are finished.”
“Deaths are the worst sort of man. They leave and you end up having to pay for the bill. They think they are all noble protectors of humanity, but they help the strong take advantage of the weak. All someone has to do is burn your place down and suddenly they forget all the promises they made.”
Ursula said, “They ruin weddings, and you can’t make them go away.”
The Lieutenant said, “And you can’t trust them to keep the peace when you have a truce. One of them attacks and the rest end up defending the fellow that broke the truce.”
I looked over at the Deaths and one of them gestured for me to come over to where they were.
Ursula looked over at them and gestured for me to go talk to them. “They look like they are going to act decently for once.”
#
The Deaths introduced themselves and Robinson said, “We weren’t trying to attack you.”
I stayed quiet.
Bruce shook his head. “You broke Willies leg.”
I asked, “What will the girls do if I fall over and scream like you hurt me?”
Bruce said, “Okay, I’ll drop it.”
I nodded. “Your guys killed me with an overpowered taser, turned me into a Fairy and shot me with rat shot.”
Walter said, “You got better.”
I said, “Fair enough, I’ll start screaming and you get to try getting better.”
Robinson looked over at where the three girls were getting louder, laughing and then shouting the word “Men,” like we should all be punished for existing.
Then they shouted, “Women,” in much the same way.
Arnold asked, “How did you come back from dying?”
I decided to make it sound like I actually knew. “Trade secret and I am real good at keeping secrets.”
Robinson said, “That’s what the reports said. Look, we need the oath stone that Lithos kept safe.”
I looked off at the trees. “Don’t know were it is. It wasn’t in the stuff we moved. Lithos probably hid it and I am not really Lithos.”
Robinson said, “We asked a Devil that keeps a copy of the Book of Judgments. He said your entry has only one line. “See Lithos Medon.”
I said, “The Book of Judgments has flaws.”
Walter said, “Right, of course it does. We don’t know how you managed it or even why you did it, but Lithos, we need your help. You helped found the North American Deaths. You saw the need. We need you to continue letting us use your oath stone.”
Arnold asked, “Is he really Lithos? He has a near perfect human identity. Baby pictures and a horrible much older brother.”
Bruce said, “We heard he won wizard duels just by choking out opponents, but did you see the way the two of them moved? We always figured we had been gifted to a level that the Daemons feared to face. He destroyed Willies leg with a twist and then used Willie to knock the breath out of me.”
Robinson asked, “Lithos, why did you turn against us?”
I gave him a long look. “Really? You threaten a fellow who never did you harm or even say a word about you and then mess up his estate. He goes to another country and in front of live music you try to get rid of him. Then you guys ruin a fellows wedding, try to kill him, go after his wife repeatedly and ambush and kill him twice in a row.
“Now you want to pretend you are the embodiment of justice and human safety, but I can’t tell you from a biker’s gang with supernatural powers that will toss a fellows wallet in the trash after looting his cash and credit cards.
“Do you ever stop patting yourselves on the back and congratulating yourselves with how good you are and for once consider how much destruction you do with your, ‘I’m always right,” policy? Do you ever, even once try to stop another member of the North American Deaths when they go too far?
Until you do, your only authority is raw power and the weak being unable to say anything without being silenced. Until you start policing your own, you aren’t preventing the abuse of supernatural powers, you are perpetuating it.”
Behind me I heard clapping. I glanced back. My wife and the other two girls were clapping. I had apparently raised my voice so they had heard my entire tirade.
I looked back quickly. “I haven’t been part of any of the talks, but from what I hear, there is a plan for you to get a supervisory board. If it looks like that works, I might try to see if I can help you. If not, your supernatural bike gang needs to go. I don’t know what will fill the vacuum, but in any case, your days of self management need to go away. There needs to be some sort of checks and balance or your just going to get worse.”
Arnold said, “So Lithos judged our performance and decided we needed reform. So all of this was staged?”
Robinson said, “Arnold, try to keep up. How could he have staged this?”
Behind me I heard Avery shout, “Yeah, right, I known first hand that your one true love might still sleep around. You can’t trust any of them.”
Deciding I had enough of this wonderful conversation and that I was scared to get in the conversation my wife was in, I went to the Fairyland I usually go to when I get scared.
A young looking Daemon was sitting in the gazebo with his hand to his ear and wincing.
He looked at me and winced again. “Sorry about spying on you. Can you please keep this a secret?”
I asked, “Who are you?”
He smiled a dazzling smile. “Hopefully your new best friend. If you can forgive me. I have spied on you before. This is awkward. I don’t even know where to begin.”
I asked, “You can start by introducing yourself. How did you start spying on me and why were you wincing?”
He said, “Well, I’m Avery’s one true love. I always knew she knew, but I didn’t know she knew. Now I am mortified all over.”
I asked, “You cheated on her?”
He nodded and shook his head. “You saw her. To sweet, beautiful and innocent. I couldn’t lay a hand on her. How could I?”
I said, “I probably shouldn’t hear any of this.”
He said, “I have it on the highest authority that you can keep a secret. You may be the only person I can talk about any of this with. Oh, my name is Quinn Gray, Mumsie, the Dark Fairy is my wicked step aunt, and I made your EDC device. Now you know who I am.”
I said, “Your freaking brilliant.”
He said, “Well, yes, I am, but I came by it due to unnatural selection. You on the other hand are able to follow my work. Apart from my dad and a few multiple personality types that you are familiar with and part of one of them, I don’t have a lot of people I can talk about any of this with.
“Oh, and I did some scanning around and found where Lithos hid the oath stone. It will still need you to access it though. Sorry, I was spying on you before I figured out you were going to be my new best friend.
“Can I take you somewhere?”
I said, “Please.”
He opened a gateway and gestured for me to go first. I was feeling reckless so I went through.