Chapter 7: Old Friends I Never Knew

The moment the moon was full enough for them to go full out, gateways opened and the mansion, cottage, barn and stables all disappeared. Stone and wood appeared in their place and burst into flame. I had already gotten a visa by investing in a property in Spain where we could build and hide our buildings among ruins we had permits to restore.

Olive summoned me. “The gateways you replaced have already shut down. You should probably get out of there.”

I nodded to Randal. Randal reared up and waved his hooves dramatically before he turned in to a 1970 Mustang.

We took to the road only slowing when the radar detectors warned us of possible trouble. We wanted to be far away as we could before the Deaths showed up. They would still be able to trace things to me and then from me to me as Lithos. Hopefully they gave up before then.

I wanted to be sure the gateways were gone and that there was no trace of my magic on them before I left. Now I needed to lose a duel and go to the club for solace.

#

I watched as Randal was summoned away. The crunch of gravel underfoot and the wind in the trees made the walk to the wizards lodge seem ominous. I would be facing my first real duel. Not that I planned to fight. I was going to concede early and gift a language. It was an easy plan but I was still nervous.

I sat down at a table away from the crowd. A server came and placed a tray in front of me. On the tray was a card. “Medon vs Thane Cawdor, Noon in the Old Circle, Cawdor requests witnesses.”

I held the card. A pair of ladies sat. I reminded myself they were evil wizards that would be happy to kill a Fairy or me with a spell or poison. That thought was reassuring so I was mostly able to relax in front of them.

One leaned in. “I volunteered to be a witness, are you going for the choke hold first thing?”

The other girl said, “He could just hold me down. No need to choke me. I would concede instantly.”

Now I was scared again so I got up.

The girl who leaned in said, “You went to far Doris. Pardon her Medon, she gets all giggly when you’re around.”

I walked over to where an attendant was sliding victories and ranking on a large score board. The crowd in front of me was large, but Medon was taller than I was so I had no trouble seeing the scores.

A fellow beside me said, “I have a duel or I would be a witness at your duel Medon. Thane has been climbing the ranks consistently so I think it might be a good match. You have been out for so long that your rank has dropped, but no one thinks you have lost any skill.”

There was a commotion over by the platform with the gateways on it. A pair of wizards in scorched clothing were being dragged through a crowd that a pair of attendants was trying to open a path through. The smell of scorched clothing, burnt hair and oddly enough, chicken, filled the air.

Several wizards with green sashes went through the gateway to the Old Circle. I stepped onto the platform and I could see through the gateway to the Cement Factory. There were smoldering bits of grass and scrub that had managed to grow from cracks in the cement floor. I entered.

#

Inside the cement walls and around the interior pillars and braces that remained, The Fairyland was open. The sweet smell of burnt grass and the predatory look of wizards with green sashes made this feel like a ceremony that I didn’t know or belong to, that I had just stumbled onto.

I looked at the man standing facing me. I guessed it was Thane. I didn’t know him. I wasn’t sure if there was a signal that started this or if we could just start prepping and casting spells.

I didn’t know if I could concede before action started. I didn’t want to break protocol but I didn’t want to fight either.

The man bowed to me. “I concede the match to you, Medon.”

There was a rustling from the group in green sashes.

I said, “I accept.”

The man made a visible sigh of relief. “Let’s go to a table and discuss what I gift you without all the witnesses.”

I nodded, bowed to the clearly disappointed wizards and followed Thane through the gateway back to the lodge.

#

As soon as we got away from the crowd and noise around the platform with the gateways, he led me out to a garden table with wrought iron chairs. “I can’t tell you what a relief this is. Everyone told me you would be there and then a moment later slam into you and have you from behind while you struggled to breath. I have been dreading this for a week. I needed to lose. I lucked out on the last two duels and I am already ranked higher than I think I can manage.

“Your scary enough so I won’t be too embarrassed by conceding so quick, and I really need to lower my rating. Have you been gifted with seeing wind? If you can turn into a bird it’s useful. Most the time, when you invoke it, it just adds a sort of Van Gogh look to things. That can be nice but unless you wind surf or turn into a bird, it’s kind of useless. Still, If you don’t have it, that’s what I want to gift.”

I smiled briefly and said, “That will be fine.”

He gifted me and asked, “Can we talk?”

Looking at the swirls of wind on the downwind side of a tree I rubbed my eyes for a moment. “Sure.”

“I realize that there are human wizards that everyone fears, but do you ever think about the advantages you Daemons have?”

I gave him a side eye look. “It is important to see things from other beings point of view. For a being with a few thousand years of memory, risking their life beside someone who has only a fifty or sixty years left to live could seem rather generous. But yes, the whole dueling thing, even without magic is unfair. Some folk are faster or stronger or more precise. They came by it easy.

“If it were me making the decision we would do this by playing cards or something, but that too rewards those with good memories, instinct or fast calculation. You can, at the very least look and see where the wind is. This is something you can do without a Fairyland so it’s bigger than you are thinking it is. Most gifts do nothing unless you are in a Fairyland. There are places where, among normal humans, this would be an unfair advantage.”

He nodded, “I didn’t want to say the word unfair, but half the things that would kill a human, would only be a bit painful to a Daemon.”

I looked up at the clouds and the swirls of distant wind. “Remember this feeling when you see someone crippled, old or infirm. That’s all I can really tell you. Imagine that you are a programmer and everyone around you depends on your computer skills.”

He asked, “Why a programmer?”

I said, “It’s the metaphor I am using. As a programmer, you can decide that everyone has their place and skills, or you can decide you are superior. If you decide everyone has their place and skills, you are ignoring how many stupid people exist. If you decide you are superior then you set yourself up to become an idiot and obnoxious. If you decide that you are superior and that they are stupid, you are doubling what you may or may not deserve in credit.

“In any case, you are best just focusing on doing a good job and trying to remain honest in a complicated world.”

He said, “I really didn’t expect a morality lecture from a Daemon.”

I stopped looking at the winds and looked at him. “But you were really wanting to give one. It’s perspective and from your point of view you are seeing the unfairness. But you just had a string of wins versus people who probably feel the same way about you.”

He said, “That was more luck than ability, to tell the truth.”

I spread my hands. “Luck too is, at least from my perspective, unfair.”

#

I was walking further than I intended to when I realized that being in Daemon form wasn’t giving me the alibi I needed to get. I summoned Sam.

“Samuel Withers esquire, The man who would be Lithos summon’s thee.”

Samuel said, “Why so formal?”

I said, “In my mortal form I need to have witnesses and time on my side. Is there a way I can go to the Fallen Sands as my mortal self and not be identified as Lithos?”

Samuel said, “Every day you seem more and more recovered. I guess we have to live with your lost memories, but having you back is all we really need.

“Yes, turn into your mortal form and let me bring you here, we will make you one of your plus six.”

I asked, “Isn’t that a bit obvious?”

Samuel said, “Fine, turn mortal, let me bring you here and then I can get Dalan and Dantin to help nominate you to a temporary membership in the club. Then we get you to vote yourself in and it will be final unless someone black balls you in the first year. After that it will take a bit more to kick you out, but we have been through that sort of thing before. You will have to pay, just like you were a common member, but as a mortal, the lifetime membership is a lot less than the existence membership Daemons have to get.”

#

Dalan and Dantin did a good job of acting like they had just met me. They did give me a sour look when I was on a loosing streak. But my emotions assured them I was really losing and not throwing the game so they relaxed.

Dalan pointed.

A man in a biker outfit was talking with one of the attendants. He pointed over at me and I recognized him. He was the motorcyclist who had pointed at me earlier.

The attendant shook his head and the motorcyclist disappeared.

I smiled since my alibi had just been made. I had been located, but I had an alibi.

Bradster came into the chamber and went to an attendant before glancing our way. I was using peripheral vision like the Daemons had been teaching me to, so I had not yet looked directly at Bradster.

He came over and gestured to an empty seat. “May I?”

Dantin replied, “Of course dear Bradster, but please don’t interrupt the game.”

Bradster sat. “Who is our new player?”

I said, “Call me Josh, but my name is Joshua Bear.”

Bradster asked, “Do you do research into magic?”

I fanned my cards and decided to pass on trumping since I only had one trump card and I knew Sam had a void in the suit played. “I think we all do, but mostly I just look for patterns.”

Bradster asked, “Find any good ones?”

I said, “Well the general theory is that the rules were changed to try and get rid of magic in the fifteen-sixties. I wasn’t around so I can’t really argue it. But my current theory is that reducing the strength and probability of performance isn’t a power that skeptics possess, unless they have a unique gift and I doubt a skeptic would be gifting it, if you consider that they don’t believe in such gifts.”

Bradster asked, “Then why is it harder to do magic in front of a skeptic?”

I said, “The rules of the universe, at least locally, make magic less likely to work in front of those who are not aware of magic. A skeptic, by definition is the least aware of magic person you will find.”

Bradster asked, “Have you been involved with Fairies that did research?”

I looked up at one of the large slow moving fans. “I have an old estate that has had several gateways. I mostly have good relationships with the Fair Folk but one never does quite know where you stand with them.”

Bradster asked, “Do you have any strong relations with a Fairy Queen?”

I said, “I hate to admit this, but I am deathly afraid of beautiful women. I honestly freeze up, have trouble thinking and panic. Most Fairy Queen are rather attractive so I think I would rather pass if you want to introduce me to one.”

Bradster asked, “Do you own a lot of complicated corporations?”

I said, “You know, Samuel, I was ever so delighted when you invited me to this club. I don’t think I want my money back, but now I feel like a policeman is asking me questions without warning about my rights first. The club can keep my preliminary fees, but I am thinking I would prefer a more laid back environment.

Dantin said, “Bradster, you are interrupting the game. Josh, please don’t go.”

I said, “No point in staying, It is clear that Bradster doesn’t like the cut of my jib and I have read the rules on blackballing in the first year of membership. It is best that I withdraw my application and save what pride I can.

“All I have left to me is to bid you all a good day and summon my way home.”

Bradster said, “Good luck with that, if it’s the Cypsela Estate all but the boat house has burned to the ground.”

I got up and remembered the feeling of panic and went to Fairy. I had a miserable hand of cards anyway and I was on a loosing streak.

#

King Surmium gestured for me to sit with him in the gazebo, “How’s it going, Josh?”

I sat. “Horrible. It’s a miserable day. Everything worked out as planned.”

King Surmium said, “Perhaps it is time to retire Joshua Bear for a while. I would rather keep you safe and it isn’t certain that you are ready to fight duels.”

While I tried to come up with a reply, I was summoned. “I, Allan Bertrand summon Joshua Bear.”

I made a frantic wave to King Surmium and signaled him to stay quiet. “I don’t know anyone named Allan Bertrand.”

“But I know you. Bring me hence.”

I asked, “When a person on the street walks up to you and says, let me into your house, do you invite him in?”

King Surmium said, “Bertrand is a Death, go to Germany, get away from the gateway and let him come to you. He probably isn’t allowed in Germany.”

At the same time, Allan Bertrand said, “I am a North American Death. You would be advised to cooperate.”

I said, “Anyone could say they were a North American Death and I don’t know anything about North American Deaths and I don’t know you.”

“A fellow you met at the Falling Sands, told you your place was on Fire.”

I said, “Yes, and I have not been able to get back there. If your an authority, there was a biker at the Falling Sands that was threatening me at my place about a month earlier.”

He said, “I am that biker and if your are implying we set your place on fire, we don’t do that sort of thing.”

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I said, “So you drove through, threatened me and you are telling me that you didn’t set my place on fire and you followed me to a club that I paid to join and then left since a fellow was questioning me with a hostile tone.”

“That was Bradster, a Death and a founding member of the Falling Sands.”

“Well then, I am going to have to try and get back there and get my money back then. I thought I would just give it up, but it the Deaths wait till you pay your fees and then drive you away, maybe people, the right people, need to hear that.”

King Surmium was laughing out loud. I gestured for him to try and keep quiet.

Alan Bertrand said, “If you are trying to cause issues with the North American Deaths, you would be best off not showing your face in North America.”

I said, “Look Mr. Bertrand, if that is who you really are, I was born in America and I am an American citizen. I have rights. If you come near me and threaten me anymore, I’m going straight to the police.”

He said, “Your absolutely clueless aren’t you? Do you have any idea who you are talking to?”

“I said, I think I am being threatened by someone who calls himself a Death and threatens people while riding in on private property with a motorcycle gang.”

King Surmium said, “Quick, go to Germany, go to a crowded place. Preferably a place with live music. Keep getting him mad and backing away. I’m going to get with --”

While King Surmium said that, Allan Bertrand said, “Let me explain something to you. As a super-- can’t just-- leaving--” I couldn’t make out the words. So I went through the gateway to Berlin.

It was late. I did some guessing and figured it was probably an hour or so past midnight in Berlin. I was at a park Agnes liked because it had a petting zoo. I figured there was no way I was going to find live music when I heard just the sort of noise made by electric, live music in the distance. I ran. Allan Bertrand was telling me he was getting angry and he could tell I was still listening. I found a bar called Wild at Heart. The band was singing in English, so I paid the cover and got a beer at the bar. English Punk Rock in Berlin and a decent crowd.

I said to Allan Bertrand, “Look Dude, I can’t hear you.”

He yelled something. I brought him through the summons and he punched me. Then he dived on me and grabbed my collar. I felt cloth tear. A couple of guys with tattoos and peircings grabbed Allen. I was in my original human body so the punch felt like it cut my lip.

A Fairyland opened around us. The sound stopped. Two men in suits were sitting on stools. The bar scene faded away. My hand was bleeding from a cut. It was the hand that had held the beer.

One of the men asked, “What’s a North American Death doing attacking someone in Berlin?”

Allen looked back at them and disappeared. I held my hand where it was cut.

I said, “Thanks. I think he was trying to kill me. He said I was in trouble and demanded I bring him through.”

One of the men said, “Just as a formality, can we see some identification?”

I looked at them and one of them showed a pair of IDs to me. One, as far as I could tell was German police, Bundespolizei. The other was for the Zaubererpolizei which I doubted would normally be considered official since I doubted the wizard police were on the normal lists. “I’m Officer Schmidt and this is Officer Weber.”

I took out my Spanish visa. “I’m Joshua Bear.”

Officer Schmidt looked at it and showed it to his companion. “Looks like you weren't even defending yourself and your telling the truth. He pulled out a notepad. “I must warn you, as we do this inquiry, that we can ascertain whether you are telling the truth. Can you name the attacker?”

I said, “He said he was Alan Bertrand but I have no proof of it. I first saw him about a month ago when he and three others rode motorcycles onto my estate in America. He made a threatening gesture at me before leaving. Then, when, I was at the Falling Sands applying for membership, he appeared and looked at me. Then another person who I was informed was a North American Death started asking me questions so I decided to abandon the payment I had made to the club. A single existing member can black ball you and get you kicked out in the first year.”

Officer Schmidt asked, “What did he ask you?”

“He asked if I do magical research. He was strongly against it. He then told me my estate was on fire. I haven’t managed to find out if it is true but when Alan Bertrand summoned me, he told me that they were not responsible for the fire and that they didn’t do that sort of thing.”

Officer Weber handed my visa back to me. “If that’s the case, they have made some changes in policy. Do you know why he got so angry at you?”

I said, “I was reluctant to give into his demands, and I couldn’t hear him well.”

Officer Schmidt said, “Well the venue was rather loud. It’s a good thing we got a tip on this. You might have disappeared into one of the American Hells and never been seen again.”

Officer Weber said, “I think we can conclude this. We should probably get you to a hospital. Your bleeding.”

I looked down at my hand. I was dripping blood.

#

With my hand bandaged and four stitches, I left the urgent care facility and stepped out into the streets of Berlin.

It was late so I thought about where I should spend the night. The Ruins in Spain was still a ruins, so the only place I could go to rest was The Fallen Sands. I summoned Samuel. “The man who would be Lithos summons Samuel, I hope this is not a bad time.”

Samuel said, “Hold on a moment.” After a short wait he said, “Please come, but as Lithos.”

I changed and let him bring me through the summons.

#

Dalan and Dantin were sitting with Five other members of the club.

An older wizard named Jeffers said, “Lithos, good to see you. It’s been nothing but trouble all day. Once again the Deaths have let their business spill over into the club.”

An attendant came to the alcove we were sitting in. “Pardon me, sirs. “There is a German Zaubererpolizei wanting to ask a few questions regarding Mr. Bear. The fellow that paid for membership and then left abruptly. Should I show him in?”

Dantin asked, “Does he appear likely to cause a scene, no wait, I’ll go check on him. I saw it all anyway.”

Dantin got up and smiled at me like he was loving this as he followed the attendant out of the hall.

Boswell, a man I recognized as a retired Death said, “Well I heard it all, and I have to say that Bradster was out of line and hostile to a guest when he had been asked not to interrupt a card game. I didn’t like Bradster when I worked with him and he hasn’t changed at all.”

Dalan said, “I think at the very least a week’s ban from the commons might be in order. I hate to bring up more formal issues.”

Samuel said, “Our guest left since he feared Bradster would black ball him. This puts our clubs reputation into a rather sore area. Typically a person is ejected after black balling and then when he says things, we can explain that an unruly presence would complain, wouldn’t it?

“But in this case, we have a rather charming fellow, sadly no talent at Whist, but still a good sport, who left since he was exposed to unruly behavior in the commons. I am half tempted to issue a challenge to Bradster myself. A bit risky considering all the gifting we contributed and gave to the Deaths at their inception, yet, some things a gentleman does not abide.”

Boswell said, “Well there are handicaps that could be applied considering the vows taken by the Deaths. Our vows preclude the personal abuse of a lot of those powers specifically. The oath stone is still kept in the clubs vaults and as far as I know the enforcement is still quite firm. Being bound by that stone, I think I would know if it were otherwise.”

The attendant came back, “Pardon me, Dantin is asking for Dalan and Samuel to join him in the rose meeting room.”

Samuel and Dalan got up. Dalan smiled and nodded to me before he followed Samuel and the attendant.

Boswell said, “When I left the Deaths, you may remember, there were a few years when I did not visit the club. I was myself certain that enough of the remaining Deaths would find an excuse to black ball me if I entered the club at the time.”

I saw Bradster enter the hall so I put my finger to my mouth to signal silence and then pursed my lips and pointed my finger at it as a sort of cute gesture when Bradster looked our way. I wasn’t sure such a gesture really worked for someone who was older than seven. Maybe a mature girl could pull it off but the thought of a girl acting cute like that made me shiver.

Bradster came our way and sat down where Dalan had been sitting. “So what is the meeting out by the front entrance?”

Boswell said, “One of the German magical authorities was asking about the new applicant you ran off.”

Bradster asked, “A German psycopomp?”

Boswell said, “Zaubererpolizei.”

Bradster said, “They are as bad as Thorn. We figured they would have gone away, but they reappeared right after the wall came down. Having a mystic organization tied to government, no matter how well isolated it is, is never a good idea. What trouble did Mr. Bear get into?”

A fellow I had seen but not been introduced to stood up. “Well if there is a problem, I would advise anyone who knows Mr. Bear to tell him to stay out of Real. When Deaths start acting innocent, people tend to disappear.”

#

In the shared space between Lithos, Dalan, Dantin, Samuel, and the two other suites they used for guests, there was an atrium with a few small orange trees, a lemon tree and two fountains. After checking the suites, we gathered at a glass table.

Samuel leaned in. “So it’s the usual kerfuffle with the Deaths. They say that severe reprimands have been made but they are short handed and need all the Deaths so they can’t suspend anyone.

Mr. Talc however is not taking this sitting down. He’s had issue with Bradster for ages and it looks like several members are ready to black ball him.”

Dantin said, “They won’t do it. They will chicken out. Their worried that the Deaths might start causing issues.”

Dalan said, “They can’t. Well not any big issues. Their initiation ceremony has been held in the chapel here in the Falling Sands since it was still the Grey Sands in Boston. All their mighty and holy artifacts are stored in the vaults and sealed to prevent a group of Deaths from going rogue and stealing any of them.”

Samuel gestured at me like he was laying down rules. “Don’t turn into the human. Not anytime soon. If it gets to the black ball level, Bradster will delay it by insisting on facing someone to defend his honor. He has done it before. Odds are good he will insist on a duel with Mr. Talc, but he might go for Mr. Bear instead.

“We haven’t talked about this, but your not up to your original powers and a lot was invested in the Deaths so they could back up their enforcement of the rules. Mr. Bear wouldn’t have a chance, and after they killed him, and I say they since I don’t trust Bradster to play fair, they would bind his spirit and probably drain his memories and put him in the deepest hell they have.”

Dantin got up and put his hand in a fountain. “Your recovering quickly, but your powers are not there and you mentioned that you were having trouble using gifted magic. You fear girls, but then you have always feared and avoided women. What other weaknesses do you have?”

I said, “Apart from some issues with magic, just the girls really. Why did Lithos fear women?”

Samuel said, “Long story. Never really said it. Didn’t want to offend Lithos. Problem was he fell in love with the most dangerous goddess to fall in love with. He always figured she couldn’t stand him. But he also knew she might be unreasonably jealous. So he avoided women. The woman he loved ignored him, but she might destroy him and any woman he got near if she decided he was untrue.”

I asked, “Was she a named goddess?”

Dalan pulled out a deck of cards and started shuffling. “We are all a bit nervous to name the goddess of the night.”

#

I was in Paris. Agnes has finally started exploring France so I had put in a gateway but I decided I wanted another for when the Fairyland with all the gateways got discovered and it was unsafe to use. Olive, Queen Cypsilla, had insisted she wanted gateways so I was putting one in a world where she wanted a few choice places to visit. In a lovely park I sat down and started the spell casting. I was just about done when I saw a gateway sliding across the ground. I kept on casting since I was just minutes from finishing but the gateway started moving towards me. I dropped the spell and lifted my legs up on the bench and stood. I felt something hit the back of my head and turned. A wand was disappearing into another gateway. I looked down and the gateway below me opened.

#

There was a table surrounded by high chairs and booster chairs in those and doll chairs in those. There were rats in suits sitting in the doll chairs. Around me there were gazebos of every shape, style and size. Sitting in a gazebo was a lovely lady. One of those timeless beauties that looked maybe a perfect thirty years old or maybe just seventeen. She was in a frilly dress with an abundance of bows and holding a wand that looked like the one that struck me from behind.

She leaned her head towards me, smiled with a cute and seductive look and gestured for me to approach her.

I went into panic and left instantly.

#

I was in a gazebo but not any of the ones I typically go to when I flee. There were other gazebos that resembled the ones I had just seen. I turned and the beautiful lady smiled. I fled to Fairy and I appeared in the same spot right in front of a nightmarishly beautiful lady.

She said, “Spoiler alert. Cover your ears if you don’t want everything ruined.”

I covered my ears and heard a double click as I felt cold metal on my wrists.

I turned and a girl with long hair and a black and white checkered dress had just handcuffed me. Then from behind me a bag with and odd smell was put over my head.

#

My head ached. I felt drugged. I was strapped in a chair at a table where there were several giant rats in suits. I looked at my hands. I too was a giant rat.

The beautiful lady was immense. She smiled at me as she brought her head close and rubbed her nose against mine. She smelled like rose, and gunpower with a hint of eggs, jelly and toast. I was dizzy from all the things I smelled.

She said, “You can call me, ‘Darkness,’ cause calling me ‘Dark would be just too familiar since I am married!” She waved a hand with a ring on it in front of my face. “First off, about your cat, Harvey. His name is really Mr. Needleteeth, and he isn’t your cat and he was never a wizard. Impressive enough for a cat to be able to gift things. Let alone spells that he can never throw.

“Of course the spells he gifted you wouldn’t work well, since he was never able to practice them.”

The sent of fresh laundry and mint passed by as she continued. “Your cat’s real master is Alvin Thirst. He is plotting for you to destroy his orders oath stone so he can be free of it. His cat is remarkably loyal to Alvin, so he isn’t really your cat.

“Second off, I’m married! Things might have been different if I had know that you were in love with me for all these thousands of years, but of course you poor boy, you don’t remember any of it.

She waved her hand in front of me showing a ring made of a carved diamond with a gold seal on it. “I’m taken, taken, taken! Come here Belly-Welly, tell him how he can never, ever have me.”

A man just a little older than me stepped over and leaned towards me. “Just play along, and you’ll probably live. That’s what I tell myself.”

She said, “Oh, Belly-Welly always so silly. You can go now, since some of the outcomes you are predicting might be a bit bloody.

“Poor little Josh-Lithos, since your just going to have to settle for another woman to make your life complete I have been looking around and trying to find the perfect match for you but how could I ever find a match for me!”

She waved her ring in front of me again. “But since I am taken, taken, taken, my first thought was if I could find a group of thirty beautiful girls for you it might come part way.”

She picked up the doll chair I was secured to and carried it over to a tall platform with three curtains facing it. A curtain pulled back and there was an enclosure with a group of girls in one piece swimsuits that were all looking at me with intense looks. One of them licked her lips. I struggled in my bonds and managed to tip my chair a bit. Below the platform was a cat that looked up with the same sort of look the girls were giving me. I looked at the girls and decided the cat was safer.

The woman reached into the enclosure with a wand in her hand and started tapping the girls and turning them into cats. “Well you probably guessed that I couldn’t find thirty suitable girls so I transformed a group of cats. It’s only eighteen of them, cause I’m not like one of those sick cat ladies, but here you are a statistician and you didn’t even count. So to make it all up to you, I will try, and get Belly-Welly to help me. I will try to find a lot of opportunities for you to find romance. But until then, let me introduce you to Ursula.”

A curtain pulled back and an attractive Daemon girl with red hair and an outfit made entirely of straps was revealed.

She posed and slapped her riding crop.

Darkness closed the curtain. “Well, it really is the cute girls that your scared of. Well then, this is disappointing and I will have to find someone for you later. Cause I’m taken!” She waved the ring in front of me again.

“Since I can’t have you dying off if I want a real romance with a ‘slight’ risk of death, I will have to introduce you to your trainer who will get you ready to face death. Or Deaths.”

She reached for the third curtain. “Psych!” She went back to the second curtain and pulled it back to reveal Ursula again. “This is your new combat coach.”

She leaned down beside me to fake whisper in my ear, “And possible love interest, you naughty little boy.”

There was a huge cloud of smoke that kept pouring out from where Darkness was standing. My chair was picked up and I was being carried by someone. We went through a gateway and the air cleared. Ursula was carrying me. We went through another gateway. I smelled flowers and water. She sat on a large rock by a stream and she spent a moment shifting her barely there clothing.

“These strappy things look sexy, but honestly they are the most uncomfortable outfits you could choose.”

She transformed into herself in jeans and a t-shirt and made a large gossamer magnifying glass on a stand. She positioned it and made some gossamer tools.

She started working on my restraints. “We probably have six hours before the drugs wear off. But it could be less, so we need to get you out of these restraints before you turn back to human or Daemon. I didn’t get a clear answer on what you were. But don’t try and tell me. Hold still while I cut your restraints off.

“Look, I’m not looking for a relationship right now, unless you want to stay a rat. I think rats are kind of cute. Not like your thinking, I mean as a pet, but then probably not like your thinking. Just forget about the thinking thing.”

She looked at me for a moment before making a gossamer guide and shield to keep from cutting me and a gossamer jewelry saw of bronze and diamond.

“You have probably guessed, I’m one of the five percent of Daemons that’s emotion blind. Don’t think that means I’m stupid. I still read face and body signals with the best of them, just not for rats. I suppose it’s fine if you fall in love or get a crush on me. Kind of hard to escape that, but I went through a break up after six hundred years just a month ago, so I really don’t want a relationship.

“Unless you want to stay a rat. I like the thought of a cuddly rat. But not like you are probably thinking. Men. What can you do with them? Not much. Okay, we have one arm free. Well leg. Cause rats.”

“You know your really cute as a rat, can I call you Mr. Beedy Eyes? Cause I just, oh never mind, your a guy and you are going to take everything wrong cause that’s just how your wired. One track minds. You would think a guy might develop some depth after five-hundred freaking years, but no. Not even then.

“You probably don’t understand this but getting a girl a skimpy little outfit for your five-hundredth is a bit too far. I mean, it’s not really a gift for the girl, unless she likes going out wearing nothing. Which honestly I prefer to wearing--”

She got another of my legs free.

“Okay, we might actually get this done before the drugs wear off. Look, if your into this whole drugged rat bondage thing, don’t tell me. The riding crop wasn’t my idea. I’m a Daemon girl and even I think that is a bit far.

“I can’t tell with those cute little beedy eyes if your getting an eyeful or being normal. Well I guess your a guy so normal is getting an eyeful. Just keep it to yourself. I mean, I am the rather well formed and the hot sort of Daemon girl men go for, so I guess you probably can’t help yourself. Especially when you have a thing for being bound up as a rodent.

“I don’t want to seem all judgmental, but doesn’t that seem a bit embarrassing after a while?

“There, one more leg and we might not see an amputation when you turn back to normal.”

She set up on the last leg and made gossamer shields to block off possibly cutting me as she started sawing my restraints. “Oh, my goodness, your tiny little hands, well feet but they are like little cute hands.”

She got me free and she held me close. Odd thing, and maybe weird but it felt really nice having her hold me like that. I didn’t want to develop a crush, but it kind of felt like I was getting one. I couldn’t really say anything and I decided I probably shouldn’t right when I turned back into me as a Daemon.

She backed up, “Can you turn back into a rat or another form? You look too much like my ex. Selfish bastard. No, not you, my ex.”

I turned into me as a human. “Thank you for freeing me.”

She looked me up and down. “Your welcome. You know, your kind of cute as a human. Sort of soft and weak and cuddly looking. Almost like a little rat. Don’t take it as a come on, and you don’t have to return the compliment. I know what men think when they look at me. What’s with the ring with the price tag on it?”

I looked at the ring. The note said, “Wear this on your human form so no one can summon you as your human self. Hope my matchmaking works, but your both such train wreaks. Still I have to try.”

I looked over at Ursula for a moment. “Do I owe you something? I mean, thank you, seriously thank you, but you saved me so I am not sure what I--”

She said, “I went to a fortune teller and asked him how I could get over my anger issues, with my ex that, honestly I want to take those useless awkward spiky heel things he kept buying me and stomp on him.”

I said, “Ok. Well thank you and I hope you can get over things.”

She said, “I’m supposed to train you to fight.”

I asked, “Did Darkness say that?”

She said, “No the fortune teller did. So get ready.”

I looked at her puzzled and she dropped, half spun, swept my legs out from under me and put me in a hold. She let go and stood up.

“Your going to have to do a lot better than that or you are going to have to give up on fighting.”

I got up. “In human form,--”

I never finished the sentence, she took my feet from under me and took me down again. I struggled. I tried to squirm out of her hold. She let go so I stood. Then she took me down again. I realized my face was close to hers, got embarrassed and then scared and went to the Fairyland with the gazebo.