My story starts like many do, with a change that was forced upon me. A change that lead me to fully understand how insignificant life really is. People like to believe they are important but, I ask you, are we really? I mean, if we are so important, how can life not only go on without us but also improve the overall living conditions of everything else? This is where I'm sure plenty of people launch into a speech of how great people are which I believe to be completely wrong. Let me just point to all of the problems people cause themselves, not even including what we do to the planet or other species. Enough of my rambling for now, though. I'm not sure how you have managed to find this, and it must be extremely confusing as to what this is supposed to be.
Well dear reader(s), that all depends on where you have found this. Was it Earth -194,567,873,345,103,001? Seeing as that just so happens to be the Earth I was born on, it's very unlikely you found it there, considering, after all, that was where my journey began. However, more importantly, I did watch that particular Earth be destroyed by a cosmic entity for shits and giggles. Although that’s still quite far into the story, I felt it important to at least warn you that my story is neither pleasant or heartfelt. I'm not the hero you are silently hoping for, nor the reluctant hero who starts out not giving a crap, but who you later find out is a good person. I'm not even the villain working in the background for himself or the greater good. I'm only looking out for myself, and am willing to admit it right from the start. I'm just a regular run of the mill person that fate, luck, destiny, chance, or whatever you want to call it, decided it was a great idea to take a huge steaming crap on me.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Can you tell it's been a very, very, very long time since I've communicated with a normal sentient being? I'm sure a big, smart person like yourself has already figured that out. Anywho, moving on, this is just the introduction before we get to the meat of the story. I was bored as all hell when I started writing and became easily distracted from my own thoughts. I learned it's probably a bad idea to start writing when boredom strikes, as it will lead to a large amount of uncontrollable rambling. Eh, screw it. I mean, it's unlikely this will ever be read by anyone so who cares? I honestly can't even tell you what universe I'm in, let alone the planet I'm currently on. This was going to be the first chapter of my story but, you know what? Forget that noise. This is my time and I'm damn well going to use it any way I want.
And now I'm writing to myself, this is just great, not the least bit crazy now, are we? Welp, even though writing this leads me to believe my sanity is draining, the act itself has been quite an enjoyable experience and I shall continue to do pages just like this for my own enjoyment and stress relief. When you have seen as much random bullshit as I have, taking a little bit of time to figure out a way to relax is nice. Hmmm, now that I feel better I only have one more thing to say before I truly begin.
If anyone does ever read this, I want you to know that no matter what you go through in your life you aren't alone. Life is always moving forward and it's scary even in the best of times. So no matter what you believe in, you'll never truly be alone because I'll be out there watching, waiting, and giving you that little bit of extra push you need to continue on. I would never have made it this far without a certain entity helping me out even if they were a dick about it most of the time, so it's only fair I pay it forward.
I'm betting nowhere is safe from what the multiverse has become so with that, Good Luck, Traveler, You’re Going To Need It.
-Signed Art