Ilias had an excellent day.
Beating up a Monster Lord never failed to put her in a good mood, and following her little morning workout, she disguised herself to go on an eating spree in the Noah region. She had recently taken a liking to the flavor of human food, regardless of how disgusting most of it was on a conceptual level. Frankly, having to leave Heaven just to get some food for herself was beneath her, but as her angels continuously failed in even a mission as simple as food delivery, she had no choice but to do it herself. The freely accepted presence of monsters was also unpleasant, as always, but the varied and high-quality cuisine was worth enduring the blatant heresy for a short period.
Following a short rest, she was ready to return to her task of retrieving Luka, but she decided to first check up on the one currently inhabiting his body.
Gazing into her crystal ball, she saw a familiar scene, a scene so incredibly familiar that it took her a moment to realize something was off.
Luka, or rather his body, was traveling with the Sixteenth.
Ilias frowned. How exactly had that happened?
She was certain she had smashed the current Monster Lord into the ground hard enough she should have been out of commission for about a month. Yet she slithered beside the Fake Hero as she always did, weakened but utterly without injury.
...Fake, Fake Hero? Faker Hero?
Ilias shook her head. He wasn't significant enough to warrant his own nickname. Still, perhaps she had been hasty in forgoing any supervision for him.
The condition of the Sixteenth was unexpected. Ilias had slowly beaten her to death enough times to be assured that the arrogant fool had neglected to bring any method of healing to her ambush. Luka, or the entirety of Ilias Village for that matter, should not have held a way to cure such heavy wounds either. It was a mystery.
Similar to surprises, Ilias hated mysteries.
She herself would be busy, but she could delegate the task to one of the numerous angels lazing around in Heaven. In fact, it might be best to leave it to her most capable minion.
Ilias paused. Had she really just thought of her as her most competent? The fact it was technically the truth only made things worse. It was almost enough to make a Goddess cry.
Suppressing a sigh, she called out, "Eden." The kneeling and nude form of the third seraph appeared before her nigh instantly. She was loyal, certainly. If only she were more like her sisters in literally every other way.
"I give you the mission to watch over the Hero Luka's Journey," she said, pointing at the crystal ball. "I expect you to create a detailed report and not interfere outside of emergencies."
"Yes, my Goddess. I shall not disappoint you." Ilias nodded, seeing the fervor in her eyes. She still slightly doubted Eden's ability to handle things adequately, but unfortunately, she was the best among the trustworthy ones.
As she disappeared, Ilias idly mused if there might be a correlation between intelligence and being a filthy traitor. It would be unfortunate, but if that's what it would take to finally receive the loyalty she deserved, she would eventually reduce all sentient life to the level of dogs. Ironic, considering how much effort she had to expend to uplift humanity in the first place. But given the amount of heresy and bad decisions, it seemed that other life forms couldn't be trusted with free will.
At least the real Luka may have a higher chance of remaining faithful than she initially thought if competence was a factor.
And so Ilias' presence left Heaven, not to return for quite a while.
...
Ilias' absence wouldn't escape the notice of others for long.
After all, when the cat's away, the mice will play.
...
Meanwhile, Eden was overjoyed at her new assignment. She would serve the Goddess well and show once and for all that she was better than her traitorous sisters.
'Now, how exactly does this thing work?' She wondered as she poked the crystal ball, trying to move the scene.
----------------------------------------
-Back on the road to Iliasburg-
I hadn't slept well. In addition to being unused to camping, I was kept awake by thoughts of the looming encounter with Granberia. In the end, I hadn't been able to think of any better ideas. There were still several hours of travel time, but I would have to mentally prepare myself to put that idiocy into practice unless I thought of something better.
I glanced over to Alice. We hadn't talked to each other beyond the basics since yesterday, and that couldn't go on. I should probably say something, but what?
I took a deep breath. I didn't want to have to ask this question yet. I would have gladly played the part of the oblivious idiot if it meant I could read off a script for a little longer, but there was no point anymore.
"So... Monster Lord, huh?" I asked, my voice sounding hollow.
With that, whatever little solace came with clinging onto the scraps of canon dissolved into thin air. My knowledge was by no means useless, but I couldn't rely on things turning out the same way. Events had already diverged too much. It was better to rip off this band-aid now.
I had expected this to happen eventually, but on the first day of the journey? Butterfly effect, my ass. That butterfly had probably turned into a monster girl and was trying to violate me just like the others.
"Ah, and here I thought you were too busy trying not to wet your pants to catch that. Indeed, I am the sixteenth Monster Lord." She said almost offhandedly before continuing with a smirk, "Already regret not finishing me off when you had the chance?"
"No, not yet." Although, she wasn't making it easy.
Her smirk fell at my response. "I see." I wasn't sure what she had hoped to hear. Possibly she didn't even know herself.
"Why were you so afraid of Erubetie anyway? I am not implying it is unjustified, but was your first encounter with a Slime-type monster not a positive one?" She asked after a short pause.
I wasn't sure how to answer that without revealing too much, so I blew it off with the cheapest excuse I had: "I don't know; she looked kinda scary."
"Mmph, how superficial, although not far off the mark in this case." She remarked.
We continued traveling for a while. It was honestly quite dull. At first, it was nice to see such untouched nature, but it grew boring after the first few hours. Plains and grassland stretched beyond the horizon, with the occasional forest, hill, or river dotting the landscape. Ilias Continent had some very easy to live in geography, and even the weather was mild.
It was surprising humans hadn't expanded further, but they were likely too afraid of rogue monsters to try to settle new places, even though those monsters were relatively weak and few in numbers compared to other parts of the world. We hadn't met any travelers either unless you counted the slug girl. I'd even take another monster encounter if only to break up the monotony.
"Do I look 'kinda scary' too?" Alice suddenly asked.
"Eh?" Oh, by Ilias, please don't tell me I was starting to adapt Luka's speech patterns. I could really do without that.
I looked questioningly toward Alice, who averted her eyes. "I saw how you looked at me yesterday. I have only been attempting to annoy you, not make you fear for your life. You might feel awkward asking since you were the one who said I could join you, so I shall make the offer." She then looked straight into my eyes. "I can leave if you want."
"No!" I shouted out almost immediately, startling both of us. "Err, I mean, that's really not necessary." I continued, chuckling awkwardly.
Alice kept staring at me a bit longer, seemingly searching for something, before she shrugged. "Suit yourself."
I was pretty sure she was aware I was hiding something. As long as wondering about it was all she did, she could do it for as much as she wanted for all I cared. There was no way she'd ever guess the truth anyway.
"Wait," I said, my brain only now catching up to the rest of what she said. "You mean you're making yourself a nuisance deliberately?"
She shot me another smirk. "Oh, I would not say deliberately. It comes quite naturally. I learned from the best, after all." I had to assume she meant Tamamo and the other fox girls, as I severely doubted she had been tutored by Amira and the White Rabbit. That would have been a true nightmare scenario.
"Honestly, if you are trying to work towards co-existence, you should be grateful for the practice. How could you hope to deal with hostile monsters if you cannot even handle an annoying one?" She explained as if her reasoning made perfect sense.
"Aww, you were doing it for my sake? You shouldn't have." I said, sounding touched, before continuing in a flatter tone. "No, really, please don't."
"Heh, I shall consider it." She replied, her smirk gradually fading into a more natural smile.
A short while later, Alice disappeared. I peered ahead and saw two large leaves sticking out of the road. I briefly pondered the buried plant monster. She wouldn't attack on her own, but did I want the fight? It would be a way to gain some more Experience.
I shook my head and walked past the Mandragora, giving her a wide berth. There would be opportunities to grind later, and I hadn't really prepared for this encounter, intending to skip it before I knew Levels still existed. I wasn't about to fight her without earplugs or another way to resist her paralyzing scream, and randomly assaulting monsters would likely strain my relationship with Alice when things had finally improved a little.
I momentarily lamented that out of all ideas MGQ took from Dragon Quest, Metal Slimes didn't make the cut, or maybe they just went extinct.
...It was probably for the best. If Erubetie knew I was bullying slimes, she would literally nuke me.
Alice came back into view a few hundred steps away from the Mandragora.
"Are you going to hide every time a monster appears? Are you embarrassed or something?" I asked her.
"Why yes, it would be rather shameful to be seen in the company of a human like you. I would likely take quite the hit to my reputation." She replied half-jokingly. In truth, Alice's reasoning was a good bit more complex, but keeping her image was indeed part of it.
No, not hers, the cruel image of the Monster Lord. Alice wouldn't have the opportunity to reenact her mother's attempt at martyrdom, not this time. I wouldn't let her.
"I also do not intend to interfere when you finally get into an actual fight for once. I might help out if your life is in danger since I owe you, but I suggest you do not rely on it."
Huh, well, that was surprisingly nice of her, but it was only a minor reassurance, given that very few monsters on Ilias Continent were lethal. I almost expected her to lean into the tsundere archetype and add an "idiot", but she likely wasn't there yet and really just thought of it as repayment for her perceived debt.
Not that I wanted her to go in that direction. As far as Alice was concerned, I was absolutely fine with being nothing more than friends, even if it was unfortunate for her since she'd likely be unable to find a different lover due to her family rules.
A few minutes later, Alice took out a book and started reading. I had a pretty good idea what it was, but appearances had to be kept.
"What are you reading, Alice?" I inquired.
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, leaving me somewhat confused. Had I said something weird?
"Adding nicknames now, are we? Well, I don't mind. I am used to being called Alice anyway." I only noticed then that she hadn't introduced herself with her nickname when we met. That... could have become very awkward. I ought to pay more attention and not say things I'm not supposed to know.
"As for your question, this is called the "World Traveler" It contains everything about the human world, geography, environment, food, it has it all!" She explained excitedly, even more so at the food part. "I am currently reading up on Iliasburg. Apparently, this Sutherland Inn is famous for its Ama-Ama Dangos made with Happiness Honey." She finished, licking her lips.
"Alice... how old is that book?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Hmm? It is dated 867. Why?" She returned, seemingly unaware of anything being wrong with that.
"That's 500 years ago. I'm surprised that thing hasn't monsterized yet." I retorted.
She rolled her eyes. "Don't be dumb. It's a tourist guide, not a magic tome. Also, how much could things possibly change in just 500 years?" I would have expected an attitude like that on an ancient monster, not one that was only 21 years old.
She then put a hand to her chin, pondering. "A tourist guide monster, huh?" I couldn't help sweatdropping at that.
"Well, the Sutherland Inn is still famous nowadays, so you should be fine on that front." I should still look for a newer release of the book since that was likely the only reliable part.
"Ah, good. I cannot wait to get my hands on those sweet, sweet Dango." She said with a smile, and I had to resist a snort of laughter at the likely unintentional pun.
It eventually turned afternoon, and I still needed to ask Alice something before arriving in Iliasburg. I just had no idea how to lead into it.
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
"So, Monster Lord, committed any crimes against humanity recently?" I winced as soon as the words left my mouth. Although it was said in a joking tone, it was probably still too much.
She turned to me with an exasperated look on her face. "Are you mocking me, or are you genuinely that bad at small talk?"
"...The latter." I provided sheepishly.
Fortunately, it still got me where I wanted. "Mmph, for your information, I gave all monsters the order to attack humans only in self-defense. I have not done anything to..." She trailed off.
'Oh crap!' I thought, recognizing where her train of thought was about to go. I needed to distract her. I didn't want a depressed Alice on my hands.
"How did you manage to give an order to all monsters?" I asked while internally chastising myself for reminding her of her greatest sin.
"Oh, all monsters are capable of telepathy to some degree, even if it is limited to receiving messages for the weaker ones. There is a room in the Monster Lord's castle with a ritualistic magic circle for the express purpose of sending a message to all monsters at once. It takes a massive amount of magic to charge it, though, so it is used very sparingly." She explained.
That was, for once, entirely new information to me. "What about monsters that were asleep?" I pressed.
She smirked. "Then a little Monster Lord appears in their dreams and shouts at them. They should be able to remember that. Unfortunately, not a lot can be done about the monsters with too low intelligence to understand words, but those mostly live far from humans anyway."
I wasn't entirely sure if she was joking with the dream part or not. It would be rather funny if it were true.
"I see. And how is that "Don't attack humans" thing working out?"
She sighed. "About as well as could be expected, I suppose. It keeps any larger attacks on human settlements from happening. But I do not have the means or will to enforce it on an individual basis, especially considering what it would mean to the monsters. Of course, there aren't many monsters stupid enough to utterly disregard a direct order, but that does not stop them from using what they perceive as loopholes. Some might concede the first strike in combat while others probably do not even realize that what they do could be construed as attacking."
I mused on that for a moment. Luka did usually get the first move in the game, didn't he? I glanced over at Alice. She still appeared lost in thought, a frown etched on her mouth, darn it.
I was saving these for an emergency as they were hard to come by in Ilias Village, but I guess this counted as one. I should also be able to stock back up easily once we reach the city.
"Hey Alice, I have some candy. Do you want-" I blinked and then stared at my empty hand. I hadn't even seen her move. I looked over to see her chewing happily. It was almost scary how well that worked.
"Do you have more?" She asked after she finished.
"No, sorry. You wouldn't want to ruin your appetite before those Dango anyway, right?"
"Hmm, I suppose not." She conceded.
It took about another hour until we reached farmland. Iliasburg was visible in the distance. It was a massive city, by the standards of this world. It was elevated, exposing rockface in every direction other than the city gate. That was likely for defensive purposes, but it was kind of useless when your enemy could teleport right in, not that having to smash through the city gate would have stopped Granberia. It might still help against the Chimera Beasts if I couldn't prevent that attack.
Alice morphed into a human form, even without me having to tell her.
Her skin lost the purple coloration, and her lower body became legs instead of a snake tail. Honestly, I probably would have forgotten to mention it being necessary since my thoughts were elsewhere, so it was good she thought of it herself.
As we entered the city, the streets were eerily quiet, rather than the bustle you would usually expect. I looked around, and there was not a single soul on the streets other than me, not even Alice. Her sticking around was probably too much to hope for.
"Hey, you there," called someone out of a group of guards coming from behind me. "There is a monster currently attacking the city. You should hide and leave this to us!"
I nodded to them while thinking, 'Ah, perfect, guides.' Or I at least hoped they were heading toward Granberia instead of running away. I put those odds at about fifty-fifty in light of how confident they sounded.
Following the group from a distance, we soon came upon the city plaza, where they joined an encirclement of dozens of soldiers. I couldn't quite see the one in the middle, but I could feel the pressure all the way to the tree I was watching from. This... probably wouldn't take long.
The soldiers charged with a battle cry, but every strike met a swift and brutal counter. They dropped like flies, still alive but unlikely to get up anytime soon.
One slash sheared through metal, leaving the man looking at his hilt in a mix of confusion and terror. Then as if to one-up her previous performance, the next thrust was stopped by a scaled claw which promptly snapped the blade in half. Those two ran away screaming.
It was as close as something could be to a massacre without anyone involved dying. I wasn't having second thoughts about my chosen plan of action. No, those came yesterday. I was currently at fifth thoughts.
Eventually, only three soldiers were left standing, letting me get a better look at their... I wasn't even sure "opponent" was a fitting word in this situation, poor bastards.
She wore black armor with golden accents. It included shoulder, forehead, and upper arm guards but didn't cover any other part of her limbs. Even the sides of her waist weren't concealed. It might have looked ineffective at first glance until you noticed how almost every revealed part was instead protected by green dragon scales, possibly harder than the armor itself. The only parts that looked softer were her face, neck, and the cleavage that she decided not to cover for some reason, which were all colored in a pale yellow. Her short hair was auburn, and her left side was covered in a tattoo, albeit not as big or displayed as openly as the one of Alice or Erubetie. She was also wearing a large purple cape that somehow did not seem silly on her. I'd have to ask her how she did that if we ever met in a more amicable setting.
Stabbed into the ground next to her was a giant hunk of metal, barely even fit to be called a sword, to the point I was tempted to make a Berserk reference. My own looked like a toothpick compared to it.
Granberia taunted the remaining three soldiers, one of whom immediately swung at her. She vanished and reappeared behind the man who was already collapsing. I had strained my eyes in preparation, but I still couldn't see her move, not even as a spectator.
One of the remaining two slashed toward her back, but before it could connect, Granberia's sword lit up in a blaze and swung in his direction. It didn't hit him, yet he fell nonetheless. Understandable, given even I could feel the heatwave. I had to pat down my eyebrows to make sure they weren't smoldering.
The final soldier ran away as Granberia's gaze turned to him, and she didn't try chasing him. Smart, I only wished I could make the same choice.
"Is that it!? Having your city taken over by a monster... there's no complaints!?" Her challenging roar resounded through the city.
That was my call. I could only hope that this would be the most stupid thing I would ever be forced to do.
"I have one!" I called out while striding toward Granberia, having long since stowed away both my sword and my cape. It was slow, as my legs weren't particularly eager to follow my commands.
Granberia had taken upon herself the duty to wipe out all threats to monsterkind, especially Heroes. So she shouldn't be overly hostile toward me as long as I didn't pose even the slightest danger. Of the few perks looking like a little boy had, not being beaten up by a scary dragon lady was hopefully one of them.
"What was that, boy?" Her gaze fell on me, her eyes like molten gold with all the heat and intensity.
A tremendous feeling of regret at confronting her shot up inside me. Even if I logically knew she wasn't going to do anything, my instincts screamed at me she would kill me. The only thing that kept me going was the script for this conversation I had hammered into my head over and over.
"I... I won't let you take over this town!" I channeled my best impression of an offended child even as my lips quivered.
Her eyes softened slightly, alleviating some of the pressure on me. "You called out to me when the adults were hiding in cowardice. I can respect that. But this is no place for you, boy. Just go home to your mother. I promise nothing will happen to you."
"She's dead." Not technically my mother, but whatever works. The minute flinch of Granberia sparked a small hope in me that I might actually win on my chosen field of battle. The tears welling in my eyes from overwhelming fear and the desperate attempts not to fall to my knees probably helped sell the bit.
"You aren't even wielding a weapon. What could you possibly hope to accomplish? There is a difference between courage and foolishness, boy. Just leave." She continued, markedly ignoring my statement. I think I was getting used to this. It was easier to breathe than before.
"Foolishness, huh? Then what does an attempt to conquer a city with nothing but threats, taunts, and self-defense count as? I smirked with a false front of bravado.
She stiffened for a moment, then her eyes narrowed. "So someone couldn't keep their mouth shut, no matter. Look around yourself, boy." She gestured towards the fallen soldiers, the empty streets, and the barricaded windows. "It may sound foolish to you, but does it look like it's not working?"
"It's not stupid if it works, huh?" I muttered.
She nodded. "Precisely. And even if you know, it does not change anything. You cannot chase me away. There is nothing you can do."
"Exactly." I agreed with a grin.
"...What?" She asked, not following my logic.
"There's nothing I can do. So that's what I am going to do. I will just stand here doing nothing except stare at you until you leave since you're not going to hurt me either." It was neither a good nor a sane plan, but it was mine.
A few seconds passed, in which she only blankly stared back at me before her face contorted in a fed-up grimace.
"Please tell me you're just trying to mess with me."
"Nope." I grit out, trying to look more confident than I felt.
She sighed. "By the First, why do I always have to deal with these kinds of morons?" She then glared at me, the intensity from before coming back with a vengeance. "Very well, I accept your challenge. Since you are unequipped for both a clash of blades and a battle of wit, we shall pit our wills against one another."
I wanted to complain about the insult but couldn't speak. I was wrong. I wasn't getting used to it. She just kept on taking it easier on me. As her aura crashed against me harder than ever, I felt my knees buckle and my teeth gnash together. This would be a lot harder than I thought.
I didn't know how much time had passed. Sweat was pouring out all over my body, and my vision was beginning to darken. I had run out of willpower a while ago; the only things still keeping me upright were the unknowing fear of what might happen if I were to fall, eclipsing even my fear of Granberia, and the stubborn refusal to admit I had fucked up. I had tried to Meditate to recover, but every time I managed to grasp hold of a sliver of the familiar feeling, it was crushed like a bug by the pressure.
I heard the metallic clanking of someone in armor rushing closer. I didn't turn my head, but I could see two guards coming closer out of the edge of my vision.
"Someone is fighting the monster. We have to aid him!" the first guard called out, but the other held him back.
"Wait, don't you see it?" Guard Two said in awe.
Guard One took a look at us, standing around and staring at each other. "No?" He answered, confused.
"Exactly, they're fighting at a higher level than we can even comprehend. We would only get in his way!" Said the second, having completely misjudged the situation.
Both me and Granberia twitched. I had to hold back a bout of hysterical laughter at the absurd misunderstanding, whereas Granberia was likely supremely annoyed.
"Get the hell out of here!" She roared at the two, even as she refused to break eye contact. The power of the shout set my ears ringing, and the two soldiers running for the hills.
Some hope rekindled in my heart, even as it beat like a drum. She took another hit to her patience. I could do this. I could-
"Okay, No, I am done. I am not watching any more of this nonsense." Called out a voice.
Granberia's eyes widened as her head shot toward it, away from me.
'Hah, I win.' I thought as I crashed to the ground, only able to take shallow breaths. It was admittedly a little childish, but it was all my exhausted brain could manage at this moment. I was so done with this day. My breaths deepened, and awareness of my surroundings faded until I could finally feel Meditation take hold, and then I had to keep going, once not being enough.
I shakily got to my feet, still having to will some feeling back into them.
Granberia was kneeling before Alice, bearing a remarkable resemblance to a scolded puppy. She motioned Granberia up as she saw me approaching, which Granberia was clearly relieved by.
"And as for you," Alice began as she pointed a finger at me before stopping short. "Wait, why are you fine?"
"Err... healing skill?" Her eye twitched.
"And what exactly was going through your head when you challenged Granberia in that ridiculous method?" Her tone turned dangerous.
"...It's not stupid if it works?" Granberia winced slightly at the words she had previously agreed with, and Alice let out a shuddering breath as if trying to suppress her rage.
She then looked back up at me with a serene smile, which somehow only made me more uneasy. "You are recovered now, right?"
I didn't want to answer that with a positive, but I had a feeling the result wouldn't change regardless of what I said. "...Yes?"
"Good, good. Granberia?" She turned to the Knight, who went ramrod straight.
"Yes, my Lord?" She asked, nervous.
"I shall make an exception just this once." She dropped her smile. "Feel free to slap him." I felt myself blanche at those words while Granberia looked hesitant for a moment before closing her eyes.
"As you wish, my Lord." She obeyed, slight regret tinging her words.
Before I could voice a word of protest, I felt something impact my face, sending me staggering back several steps. "Owww." I probably deserved that one, but damn, that hurt. Still, the fact I remained standing, or even alive, spoke volumes of her restraint.
"You may leave now. I have some things to think about." Alice said, upon which her Knight saluted and disappeared as fast as she could.
As Alice quietly left me wallowing in my pain, citizens gradually filtered in, congratulating us for our achievement. Of course, I could have healed the bruise on my cheek at any time, but I had a distinct feeling that doing so would have been a terrible move. The soldiers defeated by Granberia were also gradually getting back up.
Alice pointed to a random man in the crowd. "You there, Citizen A. Where is the Sutherland Inn?"
"M...me?" The man was too shocked by her tone to grow offended over the rude nickname. "It's over to the west. You can't miss it."
"Alright, let's go, idiot." Ah, and there was that particular nickname. I don't think there was actually any affection behind it, though. It was all tsun and no dere.
As we made our way to the inn, I called out to Alice, "Umm, thank you for stepping in there."
She sighed, "I did say I might, did I not? Honestly, who the hell almost dies from a staring contest? How idiotic."
...dies? I then remembered how I had needed to use a skill that supposedly healed 50% of my health twice to feel alright and broke out in a cold sweat. I had been trying my hardest to ignore my instincts screaming at me ever since I stepped before Granberia, so I never noticed how severe my condition had been. If it had gone on a little longer...
"You said you have a healing skill, right? Then fix your face already. It is unsightly." She said as she looked at me, interrupting my thoughts.
Glad to be rid of the stinging sensation, I did as told.
"What the... That wasn't magic or anything. It just... disappeared. Are you sure you are human?" She asked, looking at me like I was a freak.
I just shrugged.
"Ugh, there is nothing about you that makes sense. Let us keep going. That inn better have an entire storage room full of those Dango," she demanded, sounding tired.
We quickly arrived at the Sutherland Inn. The owner was currently kicking out one of the Heroes who had elected to hide rather than vainly stand against Granberia, but she happily beckoned us in. I wasn't sure how the news had already reached her. Maybe she had been watching with binoculars or something. But I wasn't about to deny the special Hero rate of two gold per person. There was no way we could have paid for the outrageous original price.
The inn looked like a lavish mansion from the outside, and the inside certainly wasn't lacking either. This place had a level of luxury possibly exceeding even the personal chambers of royalty from this world.
My first stop was the bath.
'Oh, sweet Lolias(that counted as this world's version of Baby Jesus, right?).' I thought as I lowered myself into the warm, scented water. I really needed that.
I spent a good thirty minutes soaking in there, letting the day's stress wash away. Afterward, I dried myself off and headed out, intent on enjoying some of the other amenities.
I saw Alice gorging herself on Ama-Ama Dango with a blissful expression on her face in a corner of my room. It looked both funny and disturbing at the same time. I resigned myself to not getting any of those. If I tried to take one while she was in a food frenzy, she might inadvertently rip my arm off, and I wasn't eager to check if I could regrow limbs.
My gaze then fell on the magnificent feather bed. 'Oh, yes, please.' I thought as I let myself drop face-first onto the heavenly cloud of softness. My expression melted into a euphoric smile. At that moment, the only thing my mind could have conceived as possibly being more comfortable than this would have been Tamamo's tails.
'Maybe just... a little...nap' was my last thought before my consciousness retreated into sweet dreams.
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Alice looked down at her empty plate in disappointment. The Dangos were absolutely delightful. She only wished there had been more of them. The innkeeper had informed her about the lack of honey coming from Happiness Village, leading to a shortage of the specialty dish.
One didn't have to be a genius to realize that the fault likely lay with the nearby Harpy Village. Those places may be worthwhile travel destinations, especially if she could get her hands on a few jars of that liquid gold. She only needed to convince the idiot, which shouldn't be too difficult.
Her stomach growled. Now that she was thinking about it, he still needed to repay her for making her worry like that, and she had just the thing in mind.
She turned around to where she could smell his delicious scent, only to see him already splayed out on the bed. She had some reservations about attacking someone in their sleep, but...
Her stomach growled again. Oh well, she was sure he would wake up once she started. She would even be gracious enough to make sure it felt pleasant for him.
She reached out a hand toward his pants, only for him to turn in his sleep. She didn't think much about it and repeated her movement. This time, the response was more intense. His form shifted, and her hand grasped emptiness once more. It was almost like space itself had distorted to deny her.
She glanced toward his face. He really was asleep, his soft breathing slowly making his chest rise and fall. Was it just her imagination?
She decided to try her luck again.
"Touch... Fluffy..." He mumbled.
Before her hand could reach him, one of his arms shot out. Startled as she was, she couldn't even think of defending herself.
A resounding smacking noise echoed through the room, accompanied by a bright flash of light. Then there was a muted thud and, finally, only silence.
Karma could be a real bitch.