I woke up with a drawn-out groan.

I was not exactly what people would call a morning person, far from it. But what I was currently experiencing was something else entirely. My head felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it and filled the cracks with itching powder, while the rest of my body would be best described as lead-filled jelly.

I was tempted to keep lying down and hope that, whatever this was, went away on its own, but figured I might feel better after having something to drink.

After struggling against my body and a blanket that was currently about as comfortable and snug as a straitjacket, I finally managed to get into what could generously be called a sitting position.

Clearly, that had been a mistake.

An intense feeling of vertigo assaulted me, strong enough that—

*Blaaargh*

To add injury to insult, some of the unfortunate discharge could not be bothered to wait their turn and decided to take a 'shortcut,' making me choke.

After spending some more time coughing until I could breathe again, I dropped back onto the pillow with a wheeze.

My sheets were stained with vomit, and I was thoroughly miserable. I wasn't even sure if my sense of smell being wholly absent and my body being numb enough not to mind the new addition to the bed were a bad thing currently. It was shaping up to be a great day, and my only thought at this moment was, 'Whyyy?'.

Unable to think clearly and incapable of moving in a meaningful way, I just lay there for a while. With no better ideas forthcoming, I eventually tried to focus on my breathing to escape the assorted aches and discomforts of my body.

Taking deep breaths, In and out, In and out, In and ou—huh?

As if it had been only a bad dream, all the pain vanished suddenly, leaving me relieved albeit somewhat perplexed.

...

I had several questions, but I was not going to tempt fate right now.

I opened my eyes and, for the first time, took in the room around me. Then I closed them again and hoped that what I'd seen would miraculously change, but no dice.

I hung my head and sighed in resignation; it seemed like I could give up on this day getting better anytime soon.

I was not in a place I recognized, much less my own room. The bedroom I found myself in was rather empty, with only a wardrobe, a bookshelf, a small nightstand with what I assumed to be some kind of shrine, some stairs leading downwards, and, naturally, the bed.

What stuck out to me was just how wooden everything was. There was no wallpaper or carpet; almost everything from the floor to the ceiling was made out of wood, perhaps some sort of forest cabin?

Considering the last day was still fairly clear in my memory, and I distinctly remembered going to sleep in my own bed, this was quite the conundrum.

I'd have pinched myself if I hadn't already experienced several sensations that felt far more real than I would have liked. Of course, I didn't get drunk or take drugs either; I never did.

So there were pretty much only two options I could think of. Either someone broke into my house and kidnapped me while I was sleeping or... I got fucking Isekai'd.

It was a bit disturbing how, despite it being utterly absurd in regard to conventional logic, I still thought the latter was the more reasonable option because, honestly, who would ever want to kidnap me?

Either way, I was not going to find out by staying in bed, and if whoever brought me here really wanted me to stay, they would have probably cuffed me down.

So I stood up and almost stumbled as the floor suddenly seemed much closer than it used to be, almost like when I got some new glasses, except now I wasn't wearing any and could still see crystal clear. I wasn't even going to question this for now and just accept the small blessing.

Finally free from blankets, I noticed that I was not wearing anything besides underwear and a strange ring—neither of which were mine, once again.

...

Yeah definitely going with Isekai'd on this one. This entire situation would be just too fucking weird otherwise. Although waking up in some random bed without any prior explanation or anyone to meet me here is not like the beginning of any story I ever read. Albeit still preferable to waking up in some monster-infested woods. I just hoped the ring didn't mean I was engaged or married to someone I didn't even know.

I'd get to the bottom of things eventually, but for now, I should probably get clothed. Just in case someone decided to show up after all.

I moved over to the wardrobe somewhat awkwardly. It certainly seemed like I ended up with a different body. My legs felt shorter than they used to. Everything did, for that matter. Great, I was a manlet now—no reaching the top shelf for me anymore.

Wait, I was still a man, right? With no small amount of dread, I slowly pulled on the strap of my underwear and let out a sigh of relief. It seemed I'd been spared the gender-bender at least. Becoming a girl would have made things complicated, to put it mildly.

The inside of the wardrobe held a few sets of immaculately folded clothes, all of them the same: a light beige shirt followed by a vest with a darker beige tone, gloves that were somewhere in between, black pants, and a belt, also black. There was also an assortment of spare underwear and socks. Most notable, however, was the crimson... I'm not even sure what this is supposed to be—a picnic blanket?

Wait, I think this is a cape. Somewhat oversized, but a cape, no less. Was I supposed to wear this thing? I guess I could at least try since someone went to the effort of putting this here for me.

I had not been expecting to face my first life-and-death struggle this quickly, least of all with a piece of clothing. I did not know how to put this cape on, which certainly showed or choked rather.

Now I was really glad nobody was here to witness my failure, and if anyone found out afterward, I'd have to either claim the cape was cursed or a mimic trying to kill me. Nobody must ever know the truth.

Ultimately, I decided to stop before I actually managed to kill myself. I returned the offending clothing article to the wardrobe, now significantly less neatly folded than before.

Now fully clothed, minus murder cape, I was about to close the wardrobe but paused for a moment. This set of clothing... looked strangely familiar. Was it perhaps only my imagination?

There were two objects left in the room I hadn't investigated yet: the small shrine and the bookshelf. I almost immediately dismissed the former. I didn't know the first thing about religious rituals, least of all in a foreign world. I didn't even know who or what I was supposed to pray to besides the fact that the local belief seemed to include angels, judging from some wooden carvings.

The bookshelf, however, was far more interesting. It held roughly 30 books, although most of them were relatively thin. I was hoping that they would contain a decent amount of knowledge to help me get started in this world. But since looking through them would take quite some time, even as thin as they were, I decided to put most of it off until I explored the rest of the building and secured some food.

Although there was one thing making me a bit nervous, something that I needed to confirm right now, I went over to the shelf and picked a book at random. I opened it at roughly the middle, took a look at the contents, and sighed in relief. It was a book about cooking or, more accurately, a collection of recipes. I likely wouldn't get much use out of this one since the measurements were incredibly vague for my standards. Still, even though the book was written in a language I had never seen before, it seemed like this body retained the ability to read and understand the words.

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Being forced to learn a new language in this situation would have been an enormous headache, even more so since there was likely no internet to help me along.

Closing the book, I decided to head downstairs next, very carefully. I was still not used to this body, and gravity was a bitch.

The stairs led to a small kitchen area, which was richly stocked with both utensils and a variety of food, even slow-to-spoil stuff like jerky. This alleviated some of my worries, but I'd still have to figure out how to work the non-electric appliances later. There were also several large jugs filled with water, likely both for cleaning and drinking purposes.

I could only hope none of them was already used for the former, only for me to drink it mistakenly. Unfortunately, due to poor lighting, I could not see a reflection.

The rest of the house consisted of a hallway and three almost identical rooms, each with a bed, table, chairs, and a wardrobe. Either this place had a lot of guest rooms for some reason, or it was an inn, which I suppose would make me the owner since nobody else was there.

I went back to the kitchen and spent some time rummaging through cupboards until I finally found one of the items I'd been hoping to get my hands on: a small hand mirror.

I brought it up to my face and took a good look. I blinked once, twice, and finally settled on a blank stare as my brain refused to process what my eyes were currently seeing.

Against all expectations, I actually did recognize this face: large blue eyes, light purple hair, and the looks of a young boy. Along with the clothes I was wearing, even if the cape was missing, it was clear to me whose body I now inhabited, painfully so.

Luka, the protagonist of the Monster Girl Quest series, was staring right at me through the mirror. I was tempted to shout out my grievance, but all that ended up leaving my mouth was a strangled sound halfway between a groan and a whimper.

This, unfortunately, also answered what world I had ended up in, although there was still the question if it was the Original, Paradox, or one of the parallel worlds, but at that point, it would just be figuring out if I was handed the short stick or the even shorter stick, goddamnit.

I mean, sure, I like monster girls, but the MGQ worlds were not good places to live in, especially as the protagonist. On top of my head, I could think of about half a dozen fictional universes that would be a better choice—and that's just the monster girl-focused ones. Aside from the disturbingly frequent Vore and Snuff in this series, I'd also have to contend with a goddess.

I was honestly not certain which would be worse in that regard. Paradox had some perks, sure, but switching a genocidal mad goddess for an omnicidal mad goddess that was significantly more powerful and also had minions that erased worlds with their mere presence was hardly a good trade.

I felt like vomiting again, though whether that was because of all the stress or simply my gag reflex from the fate of this world being shoved down my throat, I could not tell.

There wasn't even some other poor idiot I could foist this off on. If this was Paradox, I'd be the only one that could open the doors between worlds, and if this was the Original, then I'd be the only human worth a damn in combat or have the potential to be, anyway.

I heaved a deep sigh and put the mirror away. I already wasted several minutes just standing here in a mix of thinking and blanking out. I couldn't afford to dawdle any longer, not when time might be running out.

I needed more information, particularly the details of which world I was in and the time frame. I was still in Luka's home in Ilias Village, which meant I hadn't missed anything important... I hoped. But I didn't know how long it would take until the day of Luka's coming-of-age ceremony, which is when the plot kicks in. In the worst-case scenario, someone would start screaming about a slime girl at any moment.

Thankfully, neither question was difficult to answer. The coming-of-age ceremony was kind of a big deal in Ilias Village, and I could just ask someone about Tartarus Rifts for the world problem.

Yes, talk to someone in this small community where everyone likely knew Luka and would be commenting on my unusual behavior and then proceed to ask questions. Ughh...

Wait, on second thought, there was a bookshelf on the upper floor. Surely Luka kept a diary of some kind, right?

Fortunately, my social anxiety was rewarded when I managed to find one wedged between the other books. I'd say I got really lucky, but honestly, whether or not a Japanese game protagonist has one was effectively a coin toss. I also vaguely recalled finding a diary written by Luka in one of Paradox's parallel worlds.

It seems he was even rather meticulous about taking notes as of late, making a new entry every day. So with this, I could tell I had exactly a week, including today, until the coming-of-age and supposed baptism of Luka. Not how I expected to gain that information, but this also neatly solved my second question. Ilias had been missing for a decent while at the start of the Paradox timeline, so the baptism was originally not supposed to take place there, which meant I was likely in the Original timeline.

Speaking of the baptism, I know that Luka never actually received it, but just to be safe, I was not going to get anywhere near that damn temple. I'd genuinely rather risk death by lightning than live to suffer the consequences of that horrid ritual.

Well, I was saying that, but I was not actually suicidal. If Ilias herself made an appearance, I'd have to at least pretend to be obedient and faithful.

I briefly considered trying to act like I was the real Luka but quickly realized how dumb that would be. Saying that Ilias knew Luka well would have been an understatement. She had probably already realized, and even if she hadn't, I'd be able to keep the charade going for all of ten seconds while in front of her, probably less.

Now what? I had a week on my hands and no idea what to do with it. I didn't expect to have nearly as much time, to be honest. I could technically start trying to practice with my sword, but unless things become screwed up somehow, I'd have Alice to teach me soon enough, and I'd imagine teaching a complete novice would be easier than one with bad habits to boot. However, I should try to get used to this new body, lest I go the way of the hentai protagonist and stumble right into the waiting arms (and other body parts) of a monster girl as my pants become mysteriously undone during the fall.

Not that I was entirely opposed to that, but Critical Ecstasy was a bitch.

What else? I could try to gather up some helpful stuff for the journey and, of course, do some good old-fashioned plotting and scheming. I would have to try and recall the entire plot of the game and plan accordingly. Unfortunately, I didn't have the leeway to write anything down since I was likely under surveillance, so I would need to keep everything in mind.

Anyway, what happened to Luka's weapon? I was sure he had a custom-made iron sword, but I looked through the entire house at this point and hadn't found a trace of it or his boots, for that matter. If his boots weren't also missing, I might have thought he left his sword outside somewhere, but like this? Hmm, while not to the extent of Paradox, this universe still somewhat operated on game logic, so... Inventory?

In accordance with my hunch, a blue inventory screen opened in front of me featuring an iron sword, steel-capped boots, camping supplies, some food, and... a 99 stack of healing herbs, seriously? I mean, Luka may get regularly bruised during sword training, but this was ridiculous. Where did he even get the money to buy these? Worst of all, there was not even any point in me using these since I could meditate to fix injuries. Selling them might work, possibly.

My fingers twitched as they, too, now realized that I owned an Inventory, and I couldn't help but gulp as I surveyed all the beautiful goodies surrounding me that I would most definitely need later. I was very much aware that this was a terrible idea, but I didn't think I could stifle my inner Loot Goblin, so... maybe just a little bit.

A short while later, the house was quite a bit shorter on kitchen utensils and furniture. I was pretty sure that by the time I started my journey, this place would be empty... or gone, depending on whether my Inventory had a size limit. It was probably a good idea to get this out of my system now before I ended up a kleptomaniac... although I guess it's technically allowed for Heroes to take whatever they want in this world. However, I didn't really want to be that sort of person unless absolutely necessary.

I suppose I should go look at the rest of the books now; perhaps there was something that could help me, though I didn't have any high hopes.

----------------------------------------

-Meanwhile, in Heaven-

Ilias had watched the soul that now inhabited Luka's body for all of ten minutes before she utterly dismissed it. Even if it felt somewhat foreign, it was unquestionably human. It was also quite possibly even more insignificant than the variety she was used to. Something this weak couldn't have possibly been the cause of what happened. The genuine confusion when it woke up only confirmed its lack of involvement.

She was tempted just to smite it down and be done with it, but ultimately decided to show mercy. This new soul should at least have the same chance to acknowledge her as the true Goddess and become one of her faithful adherents, even if most of the other humans in this world proved to be a failure. She may even find a place in her future plans for it. Not to mention that destroying Luka's body may prove annoyingly permanent now that Soul Return has collapsed. Of course, she could still turn back time manually, but that may cause further issues to arise. So, for the time being, she would have to tread a little more carefully than usual.

She would come back to this new soul later, but for now, there were more important matters to address, like finding and reclaiming the true Luka and figuring out what exactly happened to cause this mess in the first place so she could make sure it never happened again. The most apparent lead was the traces of the spatial distortion that remained even after the hole itself closed, so Ilias decided to investigate it first.

It was a slight inconvenience that said distortion was located right in the middle of the Monster Lord's Castle. It would be a minor nuisance if the monsters were to find her or the distortion and decided to meddle. Fortunately, even if Ilias had a flair for the dramatic, she was more than capable of being sneaky if circumstances demanded it. And so she set off to make sure she got there before the monsters noticed anything amiss.

If Ilias had instead watched just a little longer and seen the flash of recognition as 'Luka' beheld his face, this story would have gone very differently.