"...I am not getting paid enough to deal with... whatever this is," one of the gate guards declared when I approached with my entourage. Meanwhile, his partner had decided to give the masonry a thorough inspection the moment we came into sight and didn't seem likely to turn around anytime soon. The former's gaze swept over us, and he let out a sigh. "Let me guess, Ilias Kreuz blew up a monster preschool?"

"Hey, who are you calling preschoolers!? We are totally old enough for regular monster school!"

"...If there was one," Teeny added to Papi's indignant outburst with a grumble.

It was probably one of the options they considered before heading south and becoming bandits, but what few schools for monsters existed tended to be kind of race-exclusive, the only two I knew of with certainty being for mermaids and fox girls, respectively. Mephisto's Magic Academy probably didn't even exist in this world; at best, she was acting as a teacher at the Monster Lord's castle.

"Not this time." With a small flourish and a dry smile, I pointed behind myself. "May I present you the oh-so fearsome bandits... plus one."

"Seriously?" He gave the little monsters another look and paused when he arrived at Pochi, who was currently trying and failing to hide behind me. Too bad there wasn't anyone taller to pick, huh? "Wait, aren't you that dog girl we've had to shoo off about five times last month alone?"

"No?" She replied, her face the very picture of innocence despite the obvious lie.

"...Of course, how foolish of me." He brought a hand to the ridge of his nose and let out a soft groan before turning back to me. "Look, little Hero, I am not sure what exactly you are trying to pull here, and I don't really care as long as I don't get caught up in it."

"If anyone asks, I came through the west gate." There was no west gate.

He gave me an appreciative nod followed by a chuckle. "I pity the poor sod that ends up with the paperwork that will undoubtedly follow in your wake. I would rather go a second round with Granberia than deal with that nonsense; maybe have her twist my sword into a pretzel this time."

I paused, remembering my last encounter with a guard. "...Which sword?"

The guard's expression barely had enough time to turn confused before the man with his back turned to us erupted into a violent coughing fit.

"You alright over there?" His partner asked him with concern in favor of answering my question.

He waved the question off while he got himself back under control. "Wall's just a bit dusty."

"...Right. You hear or see anything?"

"M-must've been the wind."

The guard cracked a smile. "Ah yes, our eternal nemesis. Better keep watch to make sure it isn't up to any mischief." He then proceeded to stare right past us into the air.

"Does this... mean we can go in?" Gob asked after a few seconds, her brow furrowed.

"Guess so." I shrugged and began walking, only to stop a few steps after passing the guards, looking back at the man who had now once more turned to face the front out of the corner of my eye. "...Have a nice day shift."

The man jolted. "A-a good day to you too, sir."

Having sated my curiosity, I continued into the city, not having any particular desire to bully the poor guy further... especially since he might like it.

The little ones were being conspicuously quiet as we proceeded. I was expecting some more 'oohs' and 'ahs,' but while they were looking around with some curiosity, the only one to actually seem impressed was Pochi, who took in the city with big eyes, her head moving almost as rapidly as her tail.

The quiet didn't last.

It wasn't long until stares and hushed whispers accompanied our every step. The level of attention we were receiving was uncomfortably high, almost oppressive, and made me far too conscious of my surroundings.

I looked around, wary about the chance someone might approach and turn the situation even more complicated than it was, but it seemed they were content to maintain their distance for now and watch things unfold.

A tug on my sleeve pulled me out of my growing paranoia. I suppose they probably weren't dealing well with all the scrutiny, either. Turning around, I was assaulted by a pleading look courtesy of Vanilla, her stretched-out hand pointing right to... a food stall.

...Right, never mind, just me then.

Her look only intensified when I gave her a flat stare in return: upturned eyes, pouting lips, and batting eyelashes.

Unable to help myself at the horrendously adorable display, I let out a chuff of laughter and patted her on the head. "A bit overdone, but that would probably work if it weren't for my wallet being a gaping void right now; good job."

"Aww." Her pout intensified, now more upset than pleading.

"We do have money, though," Teeny interjected.

I raised an eyebrow. "Stolen money?" She winced, conceding my point, but her fellows weren't giving up as easily.

"Some people just dropped their stuff and ran before we even got to say anything, so... finders keepers?" Gob suggested.

"...I don't think that reasoning would go over well. Just bear with it for a little while." I took out some candy for each of them while making sure to keep enough to mollify Alice should the need arise. Suddenly, they were all smiles again.

"Apologies first, proper meals later. I'm sure your new masters will treat you as much as you want." I paused. "Err, masters in the professional sense, of course," I quickly clarified, just in case. Though it should be fairly obvious as anyone stupid enough to actually try enslaving a monster really had the inevitable turnabout coming... looking at you, King of Grangold.

Either way, the girl's seeming lack of concern made me feel rather silly for being so tense. Were they that convinced I'd keep them safe? That thought made me feel a bit warm inside. Better not let them down, then.

...Or maybe it's just because they know the Monster Lord is around and helping out as well? No matter, I'd be getting them through today safe and sound, and that's that.

A few minutes later, we arrived at the city plaza, a considerable crowd already waiting for us. I took two steps up the fountain in the center to be seen better while the girls lined up before me. My gaze briefly flickered to Alice, who stood out amongst the crowd even in her human form, the matron of the Sutherland Inn right beside her. She gave me a terse nod.

"So..." I began, only to freeze as hundreds of eyes fell on me, a suddenly dry throat forcing the words that were about to emerge to be swallowed once more. Mind blank, I stood there petrified for several seconds; it wouldn't have been surprising if any newcomers mistook me for a statue.

The quiet once more prompted those mumbled whispers.

The gears only started turning again when I caught sight of an uneasy shuffling before me.

...No, I couldn't afford to screw this up, not when those girls were depending on me. Taking a deep breath, I resumed my speech. That is to say, whatever part had yet to leave my brain through the emergency exit.

"Right, Uhm, So a lot of you probably heard the rumors about a terrifying group of bandits." I gestured at the little girls before me. "As you can see... those were greatly exaggerated."

"Wait, those are the actual bandits!? I thought those were just their minions!" Shouted a man who had apparently already encountered them before.

"...Who was the guy that said he almost shit himself when he saw the dragon again?" Another asked.

Several faces in the crowd turned to one particular man.

"I... may have been slightly drunk at the time," he admitted sheepishly.

"Even if most of the threat was imaginary, it's still true they caused some trouble," I continued, thankful for the small break to order my thoughts. "And for that, they are here today to apologize."

Taking the signal for what it was, the girls bowed.

"We're sorry."

"We won't do it again."

"We just really needed the food..."

Exchanging a nod with Alice, Madame Sutherland stepped forward. "Well, they seem plenty regretful; why not forgive them? It's not like they actually did much damage, right?"

A well-dressed and somewhat rotund man near her cleared his throat. "Indeed. The primary concern was always the fear of what such allegedly powerful monsters might do. Though they have absconded with the belongings of several travelers and caravans, the overall activity of monsters in the vicinity has dropped considerably since their appearance. The monetary loss approximately equals out, while the rate of men being abducted permanently has actually decreased. And once their remaining ill-gotten gains have been safely returned, I suspect we will be at a solid plus in the former respect as well."

Though she probably already figured as much, Papi's shoulders still slumped a bit at the news that they would have to give up their loot.

"Wait, so yer sayin' them robbin' people's a good thing?"

"...Their presence has essentially been beneficial, yes. But of course, it is preferable they cease their pilfering yet still act as a deterrent to other monsters."

The crowd descended into muttering once more, but judging from their expressions, they didn't really seem mad at them. No better time than now, I suppose.

"They only had to resort to stealing because they couldn't get by on their own, which is still the case. So I'd like to request the kind people of this city to take them in. Of course, they are also willing to earn their keep."

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The girls eagerly nodded in response to my declaration.

"I don't see the harm in it; wouldn't mind a little helper myself. Do any of you girls feel up for working at an inn?" Madame Sutherland asked, leading by example.

"That would be me, I guess," Teeny answered. "I can do laundry and a bit of sewing." She turned slightly and gave me a side-eye. "Apparently, I also give good massages."

I returned a sheepish smile. Seems like she wasn't entirely over me enjoying her attempt at squeezing me into submission.

"Wonderful, glad to have you on board."

"Now, hold on just a minute!" A man shouted as he pushed through the mass of people. Huh, he looked kind of familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. "Are you folks really planning to let them stay!? Those are monsters! That weird snake creature was one thing; she's harmless and couldn't tempt a man if her life depended on it. But these may be small now, but they will be incredibly dangerous once they grow some more!... and knowing some people, the tempt part might not hold true even now."

Oh, right, now I remember! That's the Hero who got kicked out of the inn for hiding from Granberia—a prudent choice, to be honest, but not what most people would consider heroic. No, wait, now's not the time to think too hard about that!

"So you would prefer they go back to banditry rather than make an honest living?" I asked.

"Well... no. But considering we already have them here, we can just—"

"I urge you to choose your next words very carefully," said Madame Sutherland with a severe expression while stepping uncomfortably close to the man. Her tone made quite clear the implication that he, should he elect to finish that thought, would be thrown not just out of her inn but out of the city entirely, possibly from one of the cliff-facing walls.

Clearly intimidated, he frantically looked around the crowd for support, only for anyone he matched eyes with to either avert their gaze or outright scowl at him. He eventually reached the local priest... who helplessly shook his head; his was a lost cause.

"Fine," he clicked his tongue and began to walk off. "See what it gets you."

...

"Soo... any other takers?" I asked, trying to get things back on track.

"Hey, little dragon, can you breathe fire?" a burly man asked. "If so, I could use you at my smithy."

"Yup! Frost, too!" she declared with pride.

"I see." The man stroked his beard. "I am sure that will come in useful; I'll make a proper blacksmith out of you yet, missy."

"How about you, Gobbo; know how to swing a hammer?"

"Sure do!" She affirmed, taking out her warhammer for emphasis.

"I was... thinking of something a bit smaller, but I guess that's a start. Welcome to the carpentry guild."

Hmm, that's a bit odd. Normally, the delivery guild took Gob in and got her started on some warehouse work. Did they already hear about harpies entertaining the idea of taking delivery assignments, or was it just a coincidence? Either way, it was good she wouldn't be out of a job if it came down to that.

"Alright, one cute little vampire up for grabs, anyone?" Sheesh, this almost felt like I was auctioning them off.

"I suppose it falls to me to guide her down the right path," A flamboyantly dressed man proclaimed. Not exactly the kind of clothing I would have expected from a merchant, but it probably helped draw in customers... is that... a lute? "Under my guidance, she shall become the greatest songstress to ever live!"

...Songstress? But, but... what about her merchant empire? What about my retirement plan!?

"W-we do appreciate the offer, but I was hoping for something a little more... stable, you know?"

"I assure you, good sir, that music is a remarkably stable profession, provided you have the necessary skill."

"If you had any skill!" Jeered another man.

The minstrel gasped. "Are you calling me a talentless hack!? Retract those words this instant, you ruffian, or there shall be fisticuffs!"

"With your soft hands, Sing-Song? I'd like to see you try!"

Butting heads, the two adversaries stalked off into a nearby alley, leaving me befuddled for a moment before deciding to quickly move on just in case they came back.

"So, uh... anyone else? Vampires are said to be very charismatic, perfect for say, merchantry," I hinted.

There was a chuckle. "Well, if ye say that much, I s'pose I'll 'ave to give the lass a try."

Vanilla gave him a sweet smile. "I'll do my best."

I let out a sigh of relief before addressing the masses once more. "One left, people!"

"Alright, what can you do, pupper?"

"I'm good at lickety-licking things!" Pochi responded cheerfully.

...

"Mommy, can we keep her? I always wanted a doggy!" A little boy asked. Welp, there's a lad who knows what he's doing.

The mother looked around surreptitiously, uncomfortable at suddenly being the center of attention. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, sweetie. A monster is probably not easy to take care of."

"I'm a really good girl; house-clean too! I can even help with some chores!"

"I-I don't know..." The poor woman never stood a chance against the combined force of puppy eyes directed at her the next moment. "L-Let's take her home for now and ask your father when he comes back, alright?" Ah, shoving responsibility onto the other parent, a classic.

"Welp, all out of lolis, folks! Have a nice day!" With all of the girls being safely led to their new homes, I beat a hasty retreat. A single additional word of public speaking would probably make my knees rebel against me, along with several other body parts.

A few blocks' worth of fast-paced walking later, I let myself slump against a wall, the tension leaving my body. Only to jump when a voice resounds beside me.

"Despite what you said earlier, I am still surprised it went this smoothly."

I let out a breath. "Don't surprise me like that, Alice; at least make a bit of noise as you approach."

The only answer I got was an unrepentant smirk.

"Well, to be honest, I didn't even expect that much resistance, but all's well that ends well, I guess." And now I was about ready to just collapse into bed; this day has dragged on for far too long.

"Indeed, and what better way to celebrate the occasion than the restaurant visit we agreed on for lunch? My treat, of course."

Ah crap, I totally forgot about that... Still, I wasn't about to say no to free food.

"Right, lunch." I chanced a look at the already darkening sky but decided not to comment on it. She was probably planning to stuff herself even more back at the inn for 'dinner.' "Already got a place picked out?"

"Not yet, but I know just how to find one," she stated with a grin as she tapped her nose.

A few minutes of us literally being led by the nose later, we found ourselves at a fancy restaurant. Even I could smell the mouthwatering aroma by now.

Alice briefly stopped at a painting as we entered the building. It showed Ilias' Temple, the pure white marble I never dared approach when I was still in Iliasville, glittering in radiant sunlight. While beautiful, it was probably the most white painting I'd ever seen outside of a blank canvas. She stood there, contemplating it for several seconds, likely debating whether to burn it or not. However, if 'it' referred to the painting or the temple itself was anyone's guess.

Ultimately, she decided to head for the exact opposite side of the building, which held some less offensive (to her) decor, without doing anything further.

As we passed several other tables filled with guests, I briefly wondered if it was actually fine not to wait until being seated, but decided I couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. They'd see us eventually.

"...So how exactly does this work?" Alice asked after a few minutes of nothing happening.

"Most of it is just waiting, really. But we should have probably checked in with someone when we came here... actually, never mind, there's the waiter."

Standing there with two menus and a complimentary bread basket was a man, neatly dressed and clean-shaven, with the exception of a slightly swirly mustache. "Good evening, Gentleman and..." He cast a critical eye at Alice and her manner of dress, of what little there was, anyway. "...Lady." Fortunately, Alice was seemingly too focused on the bread to pay much attention to his begrudging, almost disdainful tone. "Please take your time."

Torn between reading the menu and shoving breadsticks into her mouth, she decided to do both; she had two hands, after all. At the very least, Tamamo seemed to have drilled enough manners into her that she swallowed before talking. "All of that sounds good; I am unsure what to choose."

I chuckled. She was like a kid in a candy store. "I mean, you're the one paying; why not take one of everything?"

My idea was met with a brilliant smile. "I believe I shall do just that!"

...

"Everything?" The waiter asked incredulously when he heard her order and glanced at me for confirmation.

I shrugged. "She's paying, don't ask me."

Unable to hide his chagrin, he turned back to Alice. "I mean no offense, but... can you even afford such a thing?"

"Of course, who do you think I am?" Alice asked with an imperious sniff.

The waiter opened his mouth, then wisely closed it again.

"I think it would be easier to show him... err, that is you being capable of paying, not who you are." The last thing I needed today was Alice causing a commotion by returning to her true form.

"Hmph. Very well." She pulled out a large satchel and opened it, thousands of gleaming coins within. She took out another and placed it on the table, then another before raising an eyebrow. "Satisfied, or need I fill the entire table until you believe me?"

"I... believe that will suffice."

Alice watched as he left to put in the order and then turned to me with a frown. "Why?"

I shrugged at her simple question. "Probably because of the way you dress."

She looked down at herself and then at me, her frown deepening. "But your clothes are stained from traveling and combat, while my regalia remains pristine. I also saw several women with a similar degree of exposure in the city."

I blinked. "Alice, I, uh... I think those might have been prostitutes."

Her brows knitted. "And why would that be an issue?" Before I could even really process her question, realization flashed across her face, and she held up a hand to forestall my answer. "No, wait, let me guess. Humans are so awful at sex that even when dedicating their lives to honing their skill at the arts of pleasure, nobody respects them because they are ultimately still terrible at it."

I blinked again. "I... don't think that's quite it. And they mostly do it to earn money, not to get better at it." Then again, historically speaking, I guess high-class courtesans weren't exactly shunned, though there was probably more to it than what they could do between the sheets. "...But I guess you might not be entirely wrong either."

Alice sighed. "How complicated."

"Are they more respected in monster culture, then?"

"Of course," she confirmed with a solemn nod. "Monsters respect power above all else, and the ability to cause pleasure is one aspect of it. Some pride themselves on their martial skills, others on their magic, but almost all monsters take pride in their sexual prowess, especially now."

"Huh, interesting... wait, why now specifically?"

"...Never mind that, a slip of the tongue. So you think I should change how I dress?"

"Probably a good idea to get something else if you don't want to stand out too much," I said and then paused. Did I seriously just encourage a woman to shop for clothes? Wow, I deserved to suffer.

"How is this, then?" Alice called out as I was mentally resigning myself to a day of torturous boredom. I could only blankly stare as her clothes suddenly stretched, morphed, and fused until they became something loosely resembling an elegant dress, albeit still showing a very generous amount of cleavage; asking for even more coverage from a monster was probably pointless. It was still a bit off, but she could almost pass for normal now, especially with most of her tattoos covered.

I blinked once, twice, then smiled at her. "Yup, looks good." Questions could wait until after I had a nap.

Alice's lips formed into a self-satisfied grin, but before she could say anything, the waiter was beside me and bent down to whisper in my ear. "Sir has been blinking a lot. Is this because your date is a frea—" His words trailed off when his eyes turned to Alice and more specifically her new dress. Needless to say, the man was probably exceedingly confused.

"I'm good," I waved him off. "Also... I think she heard you."

His gaze went upward to match Alice's glare, which seemed to be evaluating whether or not to use the waiter in place of appetizers. "T-terribly sorry for my intrusion; the appetizers will be ready momentarily." He glanced over at the empty breadbasket. "H-how about a free refill as a token of apology?"

The glare melted off her face, replaced by a sweet smile. "You are forgiven."

I chuckled as the waiter scurried back to the kitchen. It probably said a lot about this world that even in a city where monster presence was virtually nonexistent, at least as of about an hour ago, waiters were still so quick to try bailing a man out.

Soon, the first dishes started being carried out of the kitchen, which meant Alice was too busy to make any further conversation. I could relax, eat, and before long, I would have my well-needed rest.

----------------------------------------

Eden watched the scene on the surface world with disgust, mostly at the Monster Lord's eating habits, but also at herself for that singular shameful moment she had doubted Ilias' chosen Hero. But considering his phenomenal acting, surely she could be forgiven her momentary lapse of judgement.

Though his actions of bringing humans and monsters closer may seem almost heretical at first glance, it was merely a brilliant ploy to garner goodwill. Indeed, even the Monster Lord, taught personally by the one so closely resembling the Great Deceiver, was easily taken in by his false front. Why, despite alluding to his devotion to Ilias and remaining pure and steadfast against all temptation, she still fell to false promises of friendship.

And while his implied goal of marrying the Goddess was truly presumptuous, it was also true no other man had the qualifications he had. Not even the traitor Heinrich could boast of defeating the Monster Lord not once but twice, and in the first week of his journey to boot. Yet despite ample opportunity to slay the wicked creature, easily completing the goal most Heroes prepared their entire life for and yet ultimately still failed, he instead elected to use her as a mere tool to become stronger and prepare for greater things.

Even without the fallen Seraphs, the Dark One and her daughters may yet be destroyed for good... And if that happened... who was she to say the magnanimous Goddess would not fulfill his dearest wish?

As for Eden... she certainly looked forward to the day the monsters realized that, for once, they had been betrayed.