"Congratulations, you're hired!"
My eyes slowly wrenched open at the sudden exclamation, only to immediately snap shut when they beheld tufts of beautifully soft golden fur.
Damn it, not again...
I let myself slump to the ground, a groan escaping my lips. "It's too damn early to be kidnapped by monsters..."
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep through whatever they had planned for me, but I would be damned if I didn't try. The smooth, cold stone floor certainly was not going to be the thing that stopped me; I'd had worse. This would be as inconvenient and frustrating for them as I could make it, even if the situation worsened as a result.
"Now, now, don't be like that." The amusement was evident in her voice. I ignored her, forcing myself to drift to sleep, a skill I had acquired precisely from and for this kind of situation.
The faint clack of ceramic being softly set down near me barely registered to my fading consciousness, but the smell did. The heavenly fragrance pulled me back to reality, and my hands reflexively reached for the cup, bringing it to my lips. I drank deeply, the bitter liquid flowing through my body as though it were my own lifeblood.
I sat up after the initial gulp, slowly nursing the remaining beverage as the feeling of being an actual human being slowly returned to me. "Ah... blessed nectar of Ilias..."
A melodious giggle reached my ears. "I get that feeling, but you might want to limit your praise while you're here. We don't exactly persecute anyone for their beliefs anymore, but it won't make you friends... Well, I guess unless you overdo it, it will be good for laughs for a while. When mother heard someone praying to their 'mighty' goddess for the first time after her release, she laughed so hard she cried."
Opening my eyes, I took a proper look at my captor and sighed. Nine golden tails. There was only one person I was aware of who matched that description. Tamamo, the Heavenly Knight of Earth, a lieutenant of the Monster Lord. I suppose I wouldn't need to ask where I was.
From the rumors, I had expected her to be shorter and... significantly less endowed. She was beautiful, certainly—alluring as monsters tended to be, incredibly so. Her body and voice were an unspoken invitation to a tender and sweet paradise of pleasure. But I knew firsthand the ruthless and depraved truth behind the charming facade of monsters. I would not be fooled so easily—even as my eyes couldn't help wandering back to those tails, a voice in my mind demanding I jump inside.
I shook my head, remembering the last time I had been in the 'care' of a monster. Weeks without rest other than the time I spent passed out. It certainly did make me appreciate proper sleep... but ruined so much else.
And yet, in moments of weakness such as these, my body still yearned for that torturous pleasure.
I knew, going back to it would break me—no, 'will' break me. Even my small act of pettiness was denied. There was no way out of this.
...And after I had finally gotten my life back on track, too.
The slight frown that graced her lips was satisfying to behold... yet somehow also utterly heart-wrenching. "Hmm, I haven't always had the warmest reactions, but disappointed resignation is new. I almost feel compelled to give you a few minutes in Fluffy Heaven, buuut..." Her frown turned into a mischievous smile. "I wouldn't want to make anyone jealous. Certainly not quite yet, at least."
A giggle. "For the best, really. There is a decent chance it could kill you. Not directly, of course; I haven't done that in ages. But my husband can be a little bit possessive."
'Husband!?' my head roared. 'I am going to murder—'
I quickly shook my head once more, clearing the strange sense of outrage. Was she doing something to my head? At first, I thought my mind was just playing tricks on me because of a monster being in front of me, but this clearly wasn't natural at this point.
"It would still be worth it, obviously, but it would also defeat the purpose of bringing you here in the first place—your new job!"
I snorted, a small bitter smile forming on my face. "Didn't realize 'cattle' is considered a profession these days."
She waved her hand dismissively. "You are free to feed the castle residents at your discretion, but it's not what you are here for. You see..." Her lips curved upward into a bright smile. "I am going on my honeymoon!" The little jump of joy she did made her breasts jiggle and tails wiggle pleasantly, and I strained to inhibit the voice demanding I grab a handful... I wasn't even sure which it was referring to at this poi—Both. Both is good.
Tamamo cleared her throat and put on a slightly more professional expression while I was wrangling with the ever-more apparent fact I was starting to go insane. "Which is to say, I will be taking leave for a few months... or years. Hence, I need someone to fill in for some of my duties, among other things."
"Why me?"
"Well, normally, I would ask my subordinates to take over for me. However, given recent developments, I thought it prudent to let a man fill a position of some esteem and asked my information network to find someone suitable. I hear you were slated for a management position in San Ilia, which means you probably have some experience with this kind of work as well as enough prejudice to not jump into bed at the slightest attempt at seduction."
"...I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?"
She gave me a smile. "Of course you do, silly. It would be stupid of us to force someone into a position where they can easily screw us over. But..." She handed me a small stack of paper. "I am sure we can come to an agreement."
I looked the papers over. It was a contract detailing the specifics of what the job would entail: Finances, overseeing some of the castles' day-to-day tasks, advising the Monster Lord in regard to human society... "Idiot wrangling?"
"A necessary part of the job, now more than ever. But don't worry; I am sure you will get along fine with my sisters," she said reassuringly, which against my better judgment, actually did ease my worries.
Fox girls were said to be relatively amicable as far as monsters went; how bad could it be?
...The wheezing laughter in my mind, on the other hand, did not inspire much confidence.
I continued reading, and my eyes widened when I arrived at the benefits.
Free room and board, Magical healing, full dental. I gulped when I saw the compensation. My eyes shot back up to that white-faced, golden-furred devil. A devil essentially asking me to sell my soul to mankind's sworn enemy.
A devil who had mistakenly added too many zeroes.
"Deal!" I shouted before she could realize her mistake.
"Alright, just sign here then and... Welcome on board..." She glanced at my signature. "Terry. I am sure you will do a wonderful job as a secretary."
"...You just changed the job title, didn't you?"
"Of course not, it says right up here, see?" She pointed at the very top of the first paper, and indeed, it did say Monster Lord's Secretary... along with a suspiciously large gap before the next word.
As I gazed back up at her, she gave me a look that practically radiated innocence. If it wasn't so obvious she was as full of shit as she was of glorious fluff, I might have even believed her.
"Let me show you to your new employer then." She turned and began walking, the sashay of her hips making her tails sway almost hypnotically in front of me. Touch. Touch. Touch.
I slapped myself.
...Rude.
My guide let out a small giggle at the sound but didn't break her stride. I made to follow.
About a minute later, I saw a massive purple creature, half woman, half... snake? moving toward us in the hallway. To be honest, her lower half looked a bit like a... No, it would be rude to even think that. Her very presence caused me to quiver, and while I wasn't exactly well versed in magic, it would take a blind person to miss the black mist roiling off of her.
"I... suppose you are the Monster Lord then."
She let out a chuckle so deep it seemed to reverberate through my entire being. "Oh no, I am very much retired." She turned to Tamamo. "Are you enjoying married life, sweetie?"
"Sure am. You should try it sometime, Mom."
...Mom? I looked between the two but failed to spot even the slightest trace of family resemblance. Monsters were weird.
My insides shook as another chuckle left the giant monster's mouth. "I seem to recall a certain someone making a rule that my bloodline could only marry a man stronger than them. And that someone then proceeded to snatch up the only man who may have been capable of fulfilling that requirement as well."
"Teehee." Tamamo lightly stretched out her tongue while tilting her head and lightly rapping one of her knuckles on top of it. "Anyway, I am just bringing my stand-in to Alice, and then I'll join the real me and hubby in bed."
That lucky bastard!
Wait, did that mean I was talking to something like a clone the entire time!?
The, apparently, former Monster Lord and mother of Tamamo turned to me once more. "I shall entrust my other daughters to you then. They may be a bit... spoiled, but they are good girls deep down. I am sure they will be able to be reintroduced into society in no time. Don't worry; they have been told not to actively try anything, and considering you have yet to fall to your knees and beg Tamamo for her tender attentions despite your circumstances, I doubt there is anything to worry about."
Circumstances? Wait, did she know about—
She clapped her hands and my thoughts were thoroughly interrupted as the resulting shockwave almost knocked me over. "Now, let's go meet little Alice."
...
"Come in, I've been awaiting you." A voice called out after Tamamo knocked on an enormous door. A significantly smaller snake woman with a far smoother red tail sat coiled around a throne. "You must be..." she began, only to freeze as she caught sight of the huge monster accompanying us.
She couldn't even finish her wince before her cheek was pinched.
"Hello, my cute great, great, great, great, great..."
Her hand was slapped away. "Please stop doing that," the Monster Lord interrupted with a glower.
Utterly at odds with her appearance, the giant snake pouted. "You didn't even let me get halfway this time..." Her pout then turned into a sly look. "You know, maybe if there were some little ones to divert my attention to..."
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
"Ask the one that's actually married," the Monster Lord deadpanned and then turned to Tamamo. "Speaking of which, I reserve the right to visit at least once a week."
She got a smirk back in response. "Like you tried to reserve the right to the first night with the groom?"
"...I do not recall doing any such thing."
Tamamo giggled. "Well, sure, I don't think he will mind a break every once in a while."
"Nobody said anything about breaks. Now out, before you two cost me the last shred of my dignity in front of my new subordinate," she demanded.
"Alright, alright, but... I believe that also includes you," the Dark Goddess said with a smirk while pointing at me.
Huh?
"What, did you think I wouldn't notice you spying? Go on back to bed. Or is taking over one body not enough for you anymore?"
Wait, she wasn't talking about me, was she? She was talking about... Me.
"Mom, what are you..." Tamamo looked at me in confusion before her eyes shot open in surprise. "That's... No, that's... not him. It... resembles how he was when I first met him?"
Now, it was the Dark Goddess' turn to look confused. "Huh. I thought it was that small because he just separated a shard of his soul, but now that you mention it... Is someone messing with time again?... Well, it certainly isn't our Ilias." Another deep, rumbling chuckle. "Ah, that never gets old. Either way, you can't be here. Begone to where you came from before you accidentally ruin things, lest you already have.
She laid a hand on my stoma—
----------------------------------------
I woke up with a jolt, my blanket thrown off of my chest as I sat up.
"Ah, I suppose that saves me the trouble of figuring out a way to wake you up. Another nightmare?"
"Not... really?" I answered uncertainly as I blinked away the bleariness of sleep. "It was pretty strange, though. I think... I was someone's intrusive thoughts." Not that I was doing a particularly good job at it, apparently. They were so close, and all I could do was watch as that guy refused to do his duty as a man. "...On second thought, it was a nightmare."
Seriously though, what was up with these hyperrealistic dreams lately?
"If you had to think about it first, it could not have been that bad. Still, intrusive thoughts, was it?... somehow fitting."
"...And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" I asked and then paused, only now processing that Alice was right next to my bed. "Actually, never mind that. Were you watching me sleep?"
"Hardly," she answered with a light scoff. "I simply noticed Teeny trying to sneak into your room on my way back from breakfast and figured I should put a stop to that before anything happened."
...That certainly did seem like something that could conceivably happen.
I nodded. "In that case, thank you."
"No need," she replied with a dismissive wave. "I merely thought it would be a poor show of appreciation for Miss Sutherland's assistance and hospitality to force her to scrape whatever remained of her new help out of the carpet."
I winced at the image. The burden on my mind was already enough without adding the life of a child onto it.
...
"So, are you going to get up, or will you just stay in bed all day?"
"...I guess I could go for some food," I answered reluctantly.
She gave me a happy smile. "Excellent; I shall accompany you for second breakfast."
"You mean lunch?" I asked in accordance with her own logic with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't be ridiculous. It is too early for lunch."
...Right, of course, it doesn't work that way around. How silly of me.
As I was about to leave the room, I shot a final regretful look at the soft feather bed. I was going to miss that thing.
"...Please stop looking at the bed with bedroom eyes. It is frankly rather frustrating."
After finishing an uneventful breakfast, we headed for the inn's lobby, where we found Miss Sutherland, who was currently in the process of telling Teeny about the intricacies of hostelry. Teeny still looked mostly the same as yesterday, other than the small addition of a maid headdress. Any other clothes fit for a small snake girl would likely take a while to be made.
I gave the woman a nod in greeting. "Thank you for yesterday."
"Ah, think nothing of it." She waved a hand. "I couldn't just leave those little girls in the lurch. Besides..." She leaned in conspiratorily. "It's not like we haven't been dealing with monsters already. Most of our carpets are made of sheep girl wool."
"...Well, that's one mystery solved. Next time you see one, please do tell them not to pass out on the side of the road again."
She shrugged and showed me a helpless smile. "I will. But I'm afraid little Mary's as stubborn as a mule with a skull twice as thick and hard. I doubt any warning will get through."
I could only hope she would stay out of trouble then.
"Either way, it is time for us to move on. Thank you for your hospitality thus far."
"You are welcome anytime, little Hero," she returned with a warm smile.
Teeny also smiled and gave a small bow. "Please come again!" Her head then shot up, staring at me intensely. "No, seriously, come back sometime! I will make sure the service knocks you out of your boots—figuratively and literally!"
"Teeny, no threatening guests, even if you mean well," Miss Sutherland softly chided.
The tiny lamia grumbled a bit but stopped staring at me.
"Right, I'll, uh, see when I can make time. Can't promise anything, though."
Having said our goodbyes, we exited the inn.
I barely got a few steps in before Alice turned to me. "So is that it? Considering the farewells, I presume we are done in this region."
I nodded. "Yup. We can go check if the other girls are settling in alright, but otherwise, I think it's about time to head north."
Of course, there was still the hidden village of Enrika, but... No, going to meet Micaela right now was too much of a risk. If she took offense to me replacing her nephew, I was basically done for. Alice might be willing to protect me at this point, but that didn't mean much, not against her. Not when Micaela's signature attack was so ludicrously powerful that a solid hit could potentially one-shot Alice—and wasn't that a terrifying thought?
Granted, since she was essentially in energy-saving mode, the chance of her using her most powerful skill was almost zero—not that that would stop her from turning me into confetti if she was so inclined. She was also usually very calm-headed, so the chance of her attempting to kill me was low... but still present.
And even if that worst-case scenario didn't happen, odds were that she would just turn me away at the gate unless I said something out loud that Ilias really shouldn't be allowed to overhear.
The risk simply wasn't worth it currently.
"I see. Very well. I have yet to taste everything this city has to offer, but I can simply return another time," Alice acceded.
Our first stop was the item shop that had newly employed Vanilla.
"Please buy ten thousand Herbs!" She demanded with a cheerful smile in lieu of a greeting as soon as I opened the door. Just like that, with no attempted eye magic to coerce me. Slightly proud yet also disappointed at the same time, I returned the mirror in my hand to my Inventory.
...I was never going to get rid of those Healing Herbs, was I?
"Still broke, I'm afraid. Also, you might need to work a bit on your approach to customers... and maybe lower your attempt at upselling to something slightly more reasonable and subtle."
"Aww."
"Don't worry; You seem to be taking to it well otherwise, and you'll figure out the right balance in no time."
Sufficiently reassured, the small vampire's grin returned. "Yes! I'll be a great merchant, just wait and see!"
"I'm sure you will," I encouraged her with a smile. "I would stake my retirement on it."
...Oh crap, that was too much information.
"Err, so... did the store owner teach you anything yet, or is he just having you practice on your own for now?"
"Oh, he is having me learn the market price of all sorts of things!" She paused, eying me for a moment. "So... just for education purposes... how much would it take to buy you?"
Caught off guard by the question, I was silent for a moment. When I was finally about to answer, Alice preempted me: "He is not available for sale."
I blinked. That was heartwarming... and simultaneously somewhat disturbing that Alice decided to answer at all. She wasn't wrong, though; I wasn't for sale.
...For money. Depending on the method of alternative payment, I might change my mind, though.
"Well, you heard her." I shrugged helplessly. "But hey, if you do well, you might be able to rent my services in the future."
"Alright, I'll do my best!" She shouted and rushed off into the backroom, probably to study more.
...Why did I have this odd feeling that there was a misunderstanding about what exactly 'services' entailed? Eh, oh well, it wasn't like I agreed to anything.
Since Vanilla left us alone, we exited the shop and started making way for the smithy that Papi was apprenticed to.
But as we made our way across the city plaza, we actually ran into Pochi first. As soon as she spotted us, she vigorously waved with her free hand, the other being used to drag along the boy from yesterday. Now that they stopped temporarily he was desperately trying to catch his breath, his face red from what was likely a mixture of hand-holding-induced embarrassment and physical exertion. He let out a yelp as Pochi started dragging him along again, apparently done with waving.
...It might take a while until he could properly handle monster-level walkies.
"That reminds me..." Alice started, and her lips moved into a smirk when I turned to her. "How did you know her name? She never introduced herself, you know."
I froze. "I, uh..." Come on brain, something, anything! "...Statistical probability?"
...
Yeah, I don't know what I expected.
But contrary to my expectations, she just chuckled. "Got me there, I suppose. Monster parents tend to not be particularly imaginative."
...She was just poking fun at me for messing up at this point, wasn't she? There was no way she actually bought that excuse.
More likely, this was another thing she thought I knew because of Ilias, and because it was all but confirmed in her mind, she didn't even bother trying to argue. To be fair, it was not that unreasonable of a theory. Ilias wasn't exactly omniscient, but if you pointed to a random person in a crowd, she would, at the absolute least, know their name.
Why stalk just one person if you could stalk everyone?
"Still, I believe those unimaginative names are still better than letting them choose their own. At least you do not get anything absurd like 'Cash Money' that way."
"An acquaintance of yours?" I asked, recognizing the rather unusual name of one particular fox girl.
"...Luka, I give you this advice in utmost sincerity as your friend. Gambling is foolish, and you should never partake in it."
I blinked at the apparent non sequitur, but as realization hit, my face turned to disbelief. "You... gambled with a fox girl? Not just that, but with one who loves money so much she literally named herself after it!?"
"...It was the folly of youth." Her gaze turned distant. "So much candy lost..."
Well... that was certainly one way to dissuade someone from taking up gambling. It kind of made me wonder if that was intentional on Tamamo's part or just the inevitable conclusion of growing up with fox girls.
...Also, I did it again, didn't I? Man, at this point, I don't think I'd have a right to complain if Ilias decided to interrogate me. Seriously, what the heck was that goddess doing?
----------------------------------------
-Meanwhile, on Earth-
'What a peculiar world,' Ilias thought, watching from a distance as a different-bodied Luka let out a yelp and fell out of bed, frantically trying to scurry away from the fox girl next to him... only to realize it was nothing more than a pillow a moment later.
A fox girl with a single tail... what a deplorable concept. As if it weren't already bad enough that foxes turn into abominations with their second.
But despite the contemptible image being proof that the wicked temptations of monsters yet festered within the hearts of men... their actual presence was virtually non-existent on this planet, a last few dregs desperately holding on while enduring the almost complete lack of mana in the atmosphere. Likewise, the holy energy was even thinner than in the surface world back home despite her concentrating the vast majority of it in Heaven. She could not sense any divine beings either. There were only animals and humans... billions of them.
Not only that, but despite their physical bodies being as fragile as someone who had never leveled up, their souls were significantly stronger than the humans she was used to, albeit not quite on the level of an angel. Perhaps that was where most of the residual holy energy went?
How curious.
The presence of humans meant there had to have been a deity at some point. Considering how much effort she had to expend to help them along, the thought of them evolving naturally was absurd.
So what happened to said deity?
Perhaps... this kind of result is what would have happened if she and Alipheese had destroyed one another. Not that she would have ever been killed by that wretch, of course. But it did explain what may have happened here.
Having reached a plausible conclusion, she turned her mind to the next oddity—this room. The room she found herself in upon emerging in this world and where Luka had been sleeping... there was something off about it—aside from being an utter mess, that is. It almost felt like... something was missing, and not just in one location either.
She cast a divination on the suspiciously empty spot on the desk to see what had once been there, and it showed... nothing?
Something was entirely wrong here.
An all-too-familiar scream, even if the pitch was different from what she was used to, disrupted her thoughts. Ilias let out a deep sigh; she already had an idea of what had happened.
True to her hunch, Luka, clearly unused to this foreign body, had fallen down the stairs. The body wasn't quite dead, but... she would count this as death by fall damage anyway—one of far too many. Demon Skull Beheading was not a skill meant to be used without wings or at least exceedingly strong legs, and that accursed snake deserved to suffer eternally for teaching it to him every damn time.
She snapped the body's neck.
Retrieving Luka's soul had been her intent to begin with. And whoever this man once was, thinking he met an accidental death would be a mercy to his kin compared to taking care of his debilitated and empty husk.
As much Ilias hated to leave the mystery that was this world and its connection to hers unsolved for the time being, she would have to return soon. The time axis between the worlds was distorted, likely as a result of time being reversed while the connection was first made. It would likely normalize as the gateway remained open, but for now, every minute she spent here, a few hours passed in her world. Wisely, she had kicked those two troublemakers out of Heaven before she left, but that didn't mean they wouldn't cause any issues if left alone.
It had only happened once during the loop, but she would rather not return to see that Promestein had accidentally turned a region of Sentora into a nuclear wasteland again... It was a shame she hadn't used her lab in Remina for that particular experiment; it might have blown up the Monster Lord's Castle.
Fortunately, the distorted time between them shouldn't have too much of an effect on the individual universes. At most, some sensitive people would see twisted visions of pasts that never were and futures that never will be.
As she once more stepped through the gateway between worlds, she couldn't help but wonder, how exactly had this seemingly unrelated universe connected to hers to begin with? Even with spacetime weakened enough to rip holes into it, those holes should not just lead to another world, much less grab a soul from it at random.
It made no sense.