I’d never been so impressed by a city in my life. Half of the people either tried to rob you or sell you something. The bandit uncles I’d long lost would be proud that I didn’t fall for their schemes!
If there was one thing I did smartly it happened to be avoiding bad deals. In fact, Apple got so impressed by my persuasive abilities, that she began copying my tactics.
At this time, a small boy walked up to us, broken leg and all, and asked us for some coins.
“Not a bad scheme, but you’re missing the final touch.” I grabbed his wooden leg and wrote the words ‘bastard’ on it. “There, now everyone will have to give you coins from their purse.”
“Thank you, but I really don’t have a leg. My mother died in a fire.”
“Not bad. You’re never going to fool me though.”
“I have proof. It’s in the newspaper.”
“Still not buying it.” Stop making it so hard to impress Apple!
“I can show you my stump!” I immediately refused, and patted him on the shoulder.
Of course, because of his diligent efforts to impress us, I left a small bag on his satchel when he wasn’t looking. I still had hands faster than lighting, and merely took his purse in exchange for my own.
“Hey, what did you take from him?” Apple asked, leaning on my shoulder. She could fly in her human form, so she easily navigated the town with me.
“Let me open it up and find out.” I found nothing of importance. “Just a few seeds for a farm, and a few pictures of us.”
“Oh, why would he have pictures of us?” Apple said curiously, looking at the photos. “Look! Your heads worth 25,000 golden pounds and mine is worth 26,000! Curse you for catching up!”
“Shoot, this is horrible! Someone must be blackmailing the boy!” I’d definitely gotten smarter recently, and went back to find him. Unfortunately, he’d gone to a bar where only people older than twenty one could get in. Me and Apple were stuck on the outside waiting for him.
When he finally walked out, he laughed with a beer in his hand. It turned out I hadn’t glanced at his mannish face. He’d really just been a small man the entire time! How could I’ve missed such an important detail!
“You’re the best! You gave me so much gold just to let you live!”
“Who wants us dead? Why are we worth so much here?!”
“It’s the Volcanic Tribe,” the cute little man burped, and accidentally smashed a bottle of Vine Fruit Wine on the salty ground. “They had this bounty out for the last six months.”
“So, since I started my journey, they’ve been wishing me to die?” I’d never felt so mad at anyone, and this Volcanic Tribe would have to suffer!
“Yeah, but you gave me like 100,000 golden pounds! If you wanted to, I’m sure you could bribe the keeper of heads to remove your bounty.”
“No, I want to be worth more heads!” Me and Apple agreed on this point thoroughly. “The more heads we’re worth, the better!”
“Right, no wonder you’re so generous! You’re like crazy Pete over there!” I didn’t like this little man anymore. Crazy Pete had a pirate patch on his eye, and I didn’t take well to being compared to pirates!
I happened to be a bandit!
Stealing hearts, and wallets since the day the bandits of the west took me!
However, I merely smiled in little man, Bloodthirst’s presence. He told me he had gotten the name from the Red Cable Underground. Indeed, it had one of the worst named I’d ever heard until I learned that Red Cables were placed underneath the city for communication!
When I included that, it was definitely the worst name for any organization I’d ever reckoned. However, Bloodthirst told us to be careful, so me and Apple went to go stay at an Inn for the night.
“Tee Tee. Do you know where the treasure is?”
“Yeah, it’s supposedly underneath this city. You’re looking for the Melting Whip, right?”
“Yup, however, it has a single star next to it. What does that mean?”
“It means it’s a one star treasure. Only usable by 8th Heavenly Stage Cultivators.”
“Still, you aren’t explaining what I want? Why did they put the star there! It makes the item look so unappealing!”
“Everything else is two stars! Apple, are you going to come look!”
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“Coming!” Apple had gone to change in the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“She’s getting ready for you, kid. You ready?”
“Of course I’m ready. I can’t wait to get the Melting Whip.”
“No, silly! I may be a totem, but I know women! I used to be a man in my day.”
“Right! A totem became a man!” If such things existed in the universe, then I’d truly be shocked beyond measure. “What name did you used to have?!”
“I don’t remember! It’s been 10,000 years, and the lady who put me in here wanted me to forget! If you ever see her, kill her for me okay?”
“What’s her name?” I heard Apple opening the doorway from the bathroom.
“It’s… It’s something. I’ll know when you see her!” Tee Tee sounded unassured, but I put him away because Apple looked so pretty.
“Do you like it? I made it myself!” She had on a green dress made out of leaves, and that underwear I’d gotten her exposed to the world. She really liked that underwear, so I regularly washed them for her.
“Yes, it’s beautiful! Almost as handsome as I am.”
“You’re right, it’s stupid!” When did I say that, women!
“No, it’s perfect. Come here so we can snuggle, and prepare for our hunt.”
“About that.” Apple said, blushing. “Who is the goddess and does she really love you? I know I can’t beat her in a battle, but can you promise me something?”
“Sure!”
“Can you promise me to give me your first kiss?”
“It’s not like it’s reserved. You may take it as you wish.”
“Close your eyes.” She rubbed my chest, and I got excited! Finally, I could bash her head!
The next moment, her lips touched mine and we fell onto the bed. When we woke up, I swore we’d become closer, and she even pet my chest in the morning as we stared up at the stars.
We kissed for maybe ten minutes that morning, then got bored. Of course, I heard a strange story and I had to tell it to her. She glistened as I told her my story, and then slowly drifted to sleep because she spent a lot of energy creating her dress.
Apparently, the clothes she strung together had been hemmed from soul fibers, an extremely durable fairy cloth, because she wanted protection just incase I decided to attack her. Of course, we kept it on the entire night to ensure her safety, and then walked into the sun light as countless people surrounded us and thanked us for our generosity!
“We’re going to murder you in your sleep!”
“You can’t stay here! You aren’t welcome here!”
“Your causing the Volcanic Tribe to head towards our little City! We don’t have enough guards to fend them off!”
“I thought they were going to thank us.” Apple seemed upset, resting on my shoulder. I’d put her there so she could sleep and move at the same time.
“I know, however, it’s all a ruse. They are definitely here to hire us for a job!”
“Yeah, go kill the volcanic tribe and we’ll practically give you the Melting Whip you’re here for! Now, hurry up before we all die!”
*bang*
I slapped the man who screamed at me, sending him flying through the roof and causing little fire droplets to fall on some children’s heads. I obviously protected them with my body, however, after patching up the roof, everyone else who screamed at me would be next!
“So, now that you’re all calm, where are these Volcanic Men?”
“They aren’t men! They are fire manifestations that sit in magma and bathe in lava!” A little man said, walking up to me.
“Oh, so you just need to cool them down right?”
“Are you seriously a man?” Little Grong said, that’s his name according to his name tag. “I can’t believe you survived till eighteen.”
“It’s been tough, but I’m nigh indestructible!” Sure, modesty wasn’t my strongest point, but these men were all smaller than me, so I felt like bragging.
“I’m an inch shorter than you.”
“No, maybe two inches.” Apple entered the equation. “However, Grong, you shouldn’t be so rude to someone higher in status!”
“Height has nothing to do with status!” Grong said, clearly feeling touchy about his age, and I understood! I also had been short since I grew an inch this year!
I now was taller than at least half the town. At near two meters tall, I felt very confident in my higher status then theirs. However, after hearing Grong say height has nothing to do with status, I agreed with him.
He poked me in the chest a few times, causing me to stop day dreaming. However, his hand got a little too close to Apple, and I began growling internally. Since when did I care so much about Apples?
My response came out, “Listen, we’ll take care of your Volcanic problem as long as you tell us how to defeat them!”
“Just hit them really hard!” Bloodthirst came out the bar, drunk as always. “They are still physical beings. If you destroy them, they won’t be able to reform for at least a thousand years.”
“Oh, sounds easy.” I psyched myself up. “How many are there?”
“50,000 easy. However, with your strength, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“Such a small number!” I had my work cut out for me! “I think I see them now! Wait, are they hurting those beautiful trees!”
Me and Apple really loved trees and darted towards the once ripening forest that began to burn up in smoke. By the time we arrived, the entire forest had nearly been decimated by the countless legions of flames and fury.
The Volcanic Tribunal, I felt that name appropriate for them, since they considered themselves judges and executioners, were completely buffed up with strange metal rocks.
I knew at this point my only hope was to master the second level of the Seven Paths of Paths of Heavenly Body, so I began studying as Apple started creating something next to me with her soul thread.
Luckly, it seemed the Volcanic Tribe moved extremely slowly! They were much faster than gushing lava, but clearly not much faster than a feral turtle. After three hours of waiting, I’d gotten up to fifteenth page of the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body. Of course, I still didn’t turn to steel yet, but I felt assured.
“Kid, how many words did you read?”
“85,900!”
“Quick, read a few more words! You need 90,000 to understand the steel body!”
“I’m tired. My head hurts.” I know it seems ridiculous, but every word hurt to read! I’m surprised I remained standing this entire time!”
“Fine, but those Volcanic men are 15,000 degrees. If they touch you or Apple without proper protection, you might even die!”
“My apple? Die! Not even gigantic mountains can hurt her!”
“Kid, trust me or not, but you need to start working harder! You can’t get anything in life without effort!”
“I disagree! I am handsome!” I totally believed what I said, however, a nagging feeling in my gut made me turn open the 15th page. The last 500 words were so extremely difficult. More difficulty than planting trees, and definitely more difficult than kissing Apple!
Once I comprehended them, I began to notice I felt slightly different. My body felt heavier, and I had definitely grown a few centimeters! This meant I’d definitely mastered the Steel Body Technique of the Seven Paths of Heavenly Body! Of course, when I stood up, I didn’t feel that much different, and Tee Tee kept giving me warnings as I rushed into the Volcanic Tribe’s approaching assault.