When they left for the Underground Cavern, I felt sure at least one of them would survive. However, I became less interested in the Melting Whip then the second item on my list.
Apple had been craving some good meat, and had already eaten all the rabbits in town. Because it rained fire, the monsters had turned hideous close to town, so we had to go along ways to get her some good cute food.
I admit that sometimes I even began eating the rabbits she caught, even though they reminded me of my feral parents, and in order to make it up to them I left the young to tend for themselves.
Nothing better than growing up by yourself! I’d learned this the hard way when I had been raised by the rabbits, bears, and goats that Apple had eaten on the day I met her. Luckily, we were getting evermore closer to headbutting, so I cherished these days like I cherished the suit she made for me out of her spirit thread.
She called it invisible armor because she wore it in bed with me the other night and I didn’t notice. Of course, I put it on diligently as Heather somehow arrived on a donkey from the West.
He’d come to the conclusion it better to be with us than killed by the Fire Walkers. Unlike the Volcanic Tribunal, they walked much faster and posed a worthy threat to us we began hunting for Golden Rabbits.
Even though they were Golden Rabbits, I’d convinced myself it be okay to eat them. After all, in the book given to us by Gora’s sister, I forgot her name already, she listed them as an extremely rare biproduct of pollution!
Yes, they were actually humans creation! I’d never felt so excited to taste the flavors of pollution on my tongue! Apparently, one leg of a golden rabbit could increase your Stage by an entire level!
Apple walked next to me, holding my hand, trying to protect my fingers from the cold. I’d never held hands before so I took this as a competition, and protected her hand longer than she protected mine from the biting cold.
When we finally arrived at the destination of the Golden Rabbits, some awful sound blasted in front of us, and we got out of the dragon bull carriage and peaked up to take a look. Of course, above us, there happened to be a giant fire ball approaching us.
Heather shook, grabbing on to us, saying he’s sorry, and that he stole something important!”
“You’re kidding?” I slapped him on the face, my scholar had taught me well.
“No, it’s true! I stole a Fire Pearl to give to you guys. Because you aren’t going to kill me, right?”
“Heather, you decide your own life or death not us!” it’s not like Apple ate humans right, I’m pretty sure she didn’t.
“You’re a traitor, Heather! Lash yourself ten times or I’ll eat you!”
“She’s not joking!” I winked at her, and she looked as confused as an Apple falling to the floor. She seemed to be saying I only eat humans who are bad people, and I slapped Heather again to make sure he was a good person.
“I’m glad you two are being reasonable. I only did it to pay for this girl I like! She’s in a town next to Snow Blossom Sect. She’s worth a lot of money for a night.”
“Oh, well aren’t you forgetting something?” I gave Heather the rope I used on the bulls. “Lash yourself or we’ll eat you!” I played along well with Apple’s plan.
Finally, he began whipping himself so hard that blood started to drip down his body, and we arrived at a place I imagined to be worse than hell. Everywhere I looked there were countless rabbits!
I’d grown to love their taste more than the taste of Apple’s lips, but I couldn’t eat them unless Apple spared me a piece. Hence, I immediately got off and began walking towards the Rose Root Trees. The Golden Rabbits were suspected to be located by the Rose Root Trees, and Apple once again defended my hand as some weird cloud flew towards us.
Walking into the Rose Root Trees, of course there were no Golden Rabbits to eat at first, however, I started to be more worried about the storm. A few fire cyclones appeared spiraling around in a rut, so I assumed the Gold Rabbits might be hiding underneath the trees.
Luckily, these weren’t ordinary trees like Boots had instructed me not to destroy, nor were they Cultivation Woods, so I immediately punched a tree so hard it went flying into the distance. When I looked down, a little golden egg was there, and I smashed it to make sure no Golden Rabbit was underneath it’s shell.
Unfortunately, I’d never been allowed to eat eggs, and as I found out Golden Rabbits laid eggs. At this point, Apple had already proceeded to shove me and wag her finger at me in an attempt to rile me up.
“You can’t just crush a golden egg! You have to eat it!” She looked passionate about golden eggs, and I patted her head.
“We can still put it back together. Then you can eat it later, right?” I felt certain that the yoke at the time would understand my miss step. Unfortunately, that’s when I heard the strangest sound of my life.
A slew of Golden Rabbits were running away from the Fire Cyclones spiraling towards the forest. I knew at this time I’d have to fight nature itself to make sure the Golden Rabbits wouldn’t go extinct.
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I began to hype myself up before I realized there appeared to be something inside the Fire Tornadoes. Yup, I’d later find out those men were the people Heather pissed off and he’d already rushed passed us screaming at the top of his lungs.
Apple found another egg after destroying a few trees, and stood next to me chewing on the shell.
“This is probably because of the eggs right?” My deductions skills had improved to a high level.
“No, it’s because they like Golden Rabbits! We have to eat them first!”
“Half of them!” I tried to save the population from Apple’s wrath, and she seemed to respond angrily to it. However, would I truly let her stay angry for long! No! I negotiated for one fourth of their race remaining! We’d eat very well tonight!
The first little golden rabbit then ran past us hoping to survive the fire cyclones. Ultimately, that is when Apple and me reached down and grabbed a dozen. I had to find somewhere to put them so I punched a few holes in the tree while they struggled for their dear lives. Unfortunately, nothing felt better than watching their young run off while they fed my stomachs. We’d definitely chosen the right ones to protect.
At this point, since the Fire Cyclones were approaching so fast, I left Apple to begin cooking them for our meals. Of course, they couldn’t see their impending deaths because I’d put them in the hole backwards. I’d definitely done a nicety to them in order to ensure high quality meat had been produced!
Then, using my grasshopper jump, I activated my Steel Body from the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body and punched one of those red men out of the spinning fire storm that had given us our food to eat! I’d never been so sad to kill such useless people, but my foot accidentally fell on his head and caused blood to drip out of his eyes.
I apologized to the Fire Walker before a gigantic blade of light shot towards me. Of course, I felt invincible with my Steel Body activated, and sure enough I had been extremely wrong.
Never so wrong in my life!
I went flying into the dirt and found myself deep inside a tunnel. I made sure to make a mental note of it, and looked around seeing the Melting Whip I’d been promised. A strange beast looked extremely distracted as the Villagers who’d gone to get it for me screamed and died in larger numbers than I could count.
This must have been the final boss, and I caught it distracted!
Hence, I grabbed the Melting Whip and left them to their own devices. What better way to help their town lower the population count? I swore this idea had been one of my best!
Not that I hated overpopulation, but nay, I had to protect the golden rabbits!
I jumped out of the hole and appeared back on the battlefield! A slew of Fire Walkers seemed to be coming towards me, and one particular cyclone started shinning with a bright light.
Ultimately, I had the grasshopper skill to deal with it, and dodged a few spears of light before going for the weaker tornadoes. I killed more Fire Walkers than I’d like to admit before finally all that remained was the tornado that could shoot light.
It stopped spinning and a man dropped down eagerly pointing towards Apple as she started to eat the Golden Rabbits.
“Curse you! That’s our flock!” He really did care about the Golden Rabbits.
“We mean no harm! I’m only trying to help them!” By eating them of course!
“You can’t be serious! You killed me mates, and you killed me mum!”
“She’s in a better place now!” Straight to the point! He sounded like the type who’d get mad at anything I said, so I tried to sugar coat it.
“Oh, you think we Fire Walkers aren’t going to kill ye?”
“Are you from a different world?” What did ye mean? You! How dare he use such ancient English! I couldn’t study history, and the scholar would be mad to know I learned it!
I started thinking about that scholar actually, whether he was as girl or a boy, before that Fire Walker turned into an even large tornado and started running away.
Unfortunately, whether he was a Fire Walker, or something else, I couldn’t quite catch up to him enough to assert he wouldn’t be killing us! Of course, by this time, Apple had already started eating a Golden Rabbit, so I joined her as I munched on the ears first.
They wouldn’t feel as much pain in the afterlife if you started with the ears!
On the other hand, Apple seemed generally worried about Heather as blood dripped down the side of her mouth. She even had a strange rumble echoing out of her tummy, and I patted it to make sure it still worked.
After all, I knew where babies come from, and somehow when you butted heads it ended up in the gut! I had to protect this tummy, so I gave her an extra Golden Rabbit before she burped a couple of times.
She looked at me strangely before spitting out a few small, pretty bones. They weren’t as pretty as her of course, but she seemed to have something to say.
“You… you still have that sheet about Golden Rabbits right?”
“Yes, of course Apple!” I had it in town.
“Good, can you take it out from me.” Then I told her I had it in town.
“Okay, I was just wondering if it was bad to eat too many of these?”
“It can’t be that bad. It must be your stomach growing stronger.”
“Okay, well, why don’t you eat ten too? If you can make it past ten, I’ll eat another one?”
“Are you challenging me Apple?” Heather finally showed up again at this moment.
“Yes! I’m challenging you!”
“You guys really shouldn’t stay here! There are bounties hunters close by.”
“We’re going to have a competition Heather. They can join us if they want.” I never held back inviting company to a dinner party.
“Ugh, I’ll meet you at the next location!”
“Sure!” We weren’t sure if he’d survive the night but let him run off anyway. Just like the Young Golden Rabbits we let live, it be better for them in the long run to not have their parents watching them.
At this point, I began eating Golden Rabbits and started feeling my Dantian spinning rapidly as Apple eagerly waited to see how many I could eat. After making it to the ninth rabbit, I also started to feel sick, but kept continuing to the foot of the tenth rabbit.
Surely, if I could eat ten golden rabbits, I could eat eleven. However, I’d forgotten what Gora’s sister had warned in the book, and started on the eleventh before lightning struck down from the sky and roasted the rabbit in my hand.
Apple frowned and shook her head. “I knew we couldn’t eat more than ten. It’s clearly the limit of our stomachs.”
“That can’t be true. My luck was bad not good! I’m going to try and eat another one!”
Sure enough, this time, before I even reached the rabbit, the lightning struck our stash and burned it into flames. Starting a forest fire, I immediately cursed upwards for whomever ruined my dinner. “They at least deserved to be eaten, you fiends!”
Of course, I didn’t put out the fire immediately in order to give the golden rabbits a proper burial. Using the thousand pound sword, afterwards, I glided by sword against the winds, and caused a few trees to fall down by accident.
At least 500 out of the 1000 Rose Root Trees remained after my horrendous control of my strength, and only the biggest tallest trees out of the bunch! Sure that Boots would be proud of me we continued on our journey. Returning to that little town once more in order to shelter our heads from the Fire Rain.