"When you say 'the hair on your face,' I presume you mean to exclude your eyebrows?" Sir Rachel asked.

"Ugh. Right, leave those in," I said.

This morning, the knight-bachelor Rachel Blackwind attempted the summoning of a low-ranked angel for the purposes of training. And for reasons nobody understood, I was the one who showed up instead. And I didn't seem to be going away anytime soon.

"Why do you have these hairs in the first place?" Rachel asked, placing her bare hand on my face, pressing some of my facial hair against the skin. It wasn't terribly pleasant, all told.

"Call it a birth defect," I said. I'd only seen three people besides myself in this world so far, but all of them were women- or, at least, looked like women- and then there was the fact that Rachel didn't seem to know what a beard was.

"Is that also why you lack a knot and a foreskin?" Rachel asked.

I blinked, taken aback.

"That was entirely too inquisitive about your genitals, wasn't it," Rachel said. "My apologies, Lucy."

"That's..." I coughed. Her translation spell meant we could understand the words the other said, but there was no such magical cure for culture shock. "You know what, it may be wise to take a step back and speak frankly about the basic facts of life in this new world I find myself in. I was joking about the whole 'birth defect' thing. Where I'm from, facial hair is very common among men, and I had the misfortune to be born with the physical traits of one."

"Men?" Rachel asked. "What are those?"

I sighed, closing my eyes. "Alright, so. Back home, humans predominantly came in two... let's call them reproductive castes. Male humans were generally taller, hairier, and more muscular. They sired children. Female humans were generally shorter and curvier. They bore children."

"Hrm... That does sound somewhat similar to what we have," Rachel said. "Did male humans have breasts?"

"That's... They were typically flat-chested, so no, not really," I said.

"How odd," Rachel said. "Here, all humans have breasts, regardless of... reproductive caste, as you put it. As for our own, we have alphas, who can only sire children; omegas, who can only bear them; and betas, who can do both."

Oh fuck me running. I didn't just get isekai'd, I got isekai'd into an Omegaverse setting.

"...I have some more questions," I said. "Is there, like, a cyclical thing where someone gets very horny like once a month or once a year or whatever?"

"Not particularly?" Rachel said. "Obviously, the flames of passion wax and wane, but... we do not go into heat like cats, if that is what you mean."

"And is scent a major part of courtship and sexual desire?"

Rachel blinked. "We... generally have a preference for people who clean themselves, yes, and many of us maintain herb gardens for scented soaps, but..."

"Do you emit certain scents to signal sexual availability?"

"No?" Rachel said, utterly baffled. "Do you?"

"No, but... it was a thing in some of our speculative fiction," I said. So this was not, really, an Omegaverse setting. This was just a world in which humanity had a sexual trinary, and all of them more or less looked like women. A lot less weird, and probably a lot less work for me to get used to. "Don't worry about it. Let's get back to removing my facial hair and maybe hooking me up with some proper tits. Your body-modification magic can do that much, right?"

"Water magic has done much more, in the past," Rachel said, nodding. "My own skill is more cursory, but even this is within my grasp."

----------------------------------------

"Ah, thank you," I said, accepting the plate from Rachel.

Making arrangements for a whole entire adult person to live somewhere on zero notice was always difficult. Thankfully, Rachel was a knight- the lowest rank of nobility, but still, fundamentally, nobility. Just because she didn't exercise her privilege of maintaining a small household didn't mean she couldn't start. This was somewhat complicated by the fact that Rachel did not have a house and instead lived in a room in her lord's manor, but thankfully, that room wasn't an uber-cramped capsule hotel affair, and in fact had room for a decently large bed, a standing set of shelves laden with personal effects, and the writing desk I was sitting at.

"If it is not too forward to ask," Rachel began, sitting down on the corner of her bed.

Sir Rachel Miranda, Knight-Bachelor, was tall and muscular. Her skin was on the darker side of olive, her shoulder-length hair was coppery red and slightly wavy, and her features were sharp and proud. She wore a short-sleeved white tunic embroidered with curling and swirling patterns of black, strongly reminiscent of gusting wind, on top of a pair of black leggings similarly embroidered with white thread, both bearing intricately patterned ribbons on the hems. Both of these articles were very closely-fitted, hugging the contours of her well-toned body, which surprised me.

It wasn't that I thought she shouldn't be able to afford well-tailored clothes; in a pre-industrial society, there was by no means a shortage of skilled textile workers, and tailoring a set of clothing really only took, maybe, a day or so of work, compared to the weeks of weaving and months of spinning that went into the fabric. Indeed, the typical peasant farmer would wear close-fitted clothing made within the household, because close-fitted clothing was more efficient with the very labor-intensive cloth.

Indeed, the surprise was because in times when cloth was expensive, the wealthy displayed their wealth by using a lot of it. And so someone of wealth, like Rachel, should be wearing loose clothes with ruffles and folds that showed off how they could afford to waste fabric, and not clothing so tight that I was able to tell she wasn't circumcised.

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"What are your affinities?" she asked.

"...Affinities for what?" I asked. "Do you mean what skills I'm trained in?"

"No, no, your elemental affinities," Rachel said. "I myself am a Black Wind." A light rustling swept through her hair and the few bits of loose fabric near her collar, and her breath turned a stark, jet black.

"...What the fuck," I said.

"Are affinities another thing they lack where you live?" Rachel asked. "I must say, the more I learn of your world, the more I pity you for having to live there."

"Okay, first of all, where I lived, we had silent lights in every room of even the meanest house that made no smoke and burned no fuel, and could be lit or snuffed with a flick of a switch," I said. "You, meanwhile, seem to rely on the fact that your room is painted white and has a window. We had our own ways that, unless I manage to go back and somehow take you with me, you will probably never see. As such, they probably will not come up in conversation very frequently. Second, perhaps you can explain what the elemental affinities are?"

Rachel nodded, blushing and bashful. "I- right, well. The five elements are Air, Water, Earth, Fire, and Void. Every person has a Primary Affinity and a Secondary Affinity, and this determines what kind of elemental magics they can perform. I am a Black Wind, which means my Primary Affinity is Air, and my Secondary Affinity is Void."

"I see," I said. "So, setting aside the fact that I was born in a different world where magic didn't exist- if you interrupt me I swear on whatever you find holy I will make you regret being born- setting aside the possibility I don't have affinities... how would I learn what mine are?"

"Open your status menu," Rachel said.

I stared flatly at her.

"...Do you not have status menus where you're from?" Rachel asked.

"I want you to guess," I said.

"Hrm... Well, we do have to teach children how to access their status menus," Rachel said, tapping her chin. "I suppose we could try that with you?"

"Give me a few minutes to eat," I said.

"...Minutes?"

"Go take a walk around the outside of the building and come back," I said.

Rachel nodded, standing up and exiting through the door- thin, but well-built, of solid wooden planks and a few bits of iron hardware even besides the hinges and simple latch.

I turned my attention to the plate of food I'd been neglecting; two sausage links smeared generously with a thick brown sauce, served alongside what appeared to be one quarter of a big round loaf, like one might make in a dutch oven, and a roasted onion. I picked up the onion carefully and took a bite, nodding appreciatively.

A common misconception about pre-industrial cooking, especially European cooking, was that it sucked and was bland as fuck. This was straightforwardly not true. Indeed, many modern recipes use ingredients that would have been quite available to the medieval Europeans while still being flavorful. Sure, in a time where pre-packaged yeast wasn't an option and bakers instead relied on cultured yeast, nearly all bread was either flatbread or sourdough, but last I checked, pop culture wasn't exactly championing the rich flavors of plain white bread.

I was mopping up the remains of the sauce from the plate and my cheeks with the bread when Rachel returned- I didn't terribly care for sourdough, but this variety was fairly mild, and it wasn't like I had any other options.

"Thank you for the food, by the by," I said, after swallowing the last of the bread. "Now... how do I open the status menu?"

"By allowing me to open it for you, and learning to mimic the act on your own," Rachel said, offering her hand to me.

"...Alright, then," I said, taking her hand in mine. There was a presence in her hand that I could feel, but not really describe, and it nearly made me piss myself when that presence moved into my own hand, through my arm, and all the way up into my eyes. "What the fuck is- Oh!"

A transparent blue box appeared, overlaid on my vision. I could quite clearly see the box, but also everything behind the box.

"Huh," I said, looking at my character sheet, complete with my own chosen name: Lucifer "Lucy" Morningstar. What? It's not my fault you have a boring name. Anyhow, 'Omegaverse Isekai LitRPG' was a combination that was weird as hell, but I was familiar with the individual elements, so finding what I was after wasn't hard. "My affinities are... That can't be right. You can't have two affinities for the same element, can you?"

"It is extremely common, in point of fact," Rachel said. "What element is it?"

"Void," I said. "This is either a very powerful combination, or an elaborate joke about how I have nothing."

"It is a very rare combination," Rachel said. "Very few people have any Void affinity at all; I was born to common parents, but by virtue of my Void affinity, I was raised to knighthood. But, at the same time, a Void affinity simply grants a weaker access to the other elemental magics, along with access to a number of Void-specific skills that typically do not care about strength. It is considered a particularly holy set of affinities, due to the Void affinity being so rare, but in all honesty, few outside of the clergy will be especially impressed by that, those all being the particularly devout."

"Hrm... So, it's good to have any Void at all, but more than one Void affinity is basically a wasted opportunity for a stronger elemental affinity?" I asked. "Unless I'm dealing with priests?"

"More or less, yes," Rachel said, nodding. "Although, a double Void affinity is afforded an exception to the typical naming system. Rather than a Black Mage, you, and all who share your set of affinities, are an Archmage."

"I see," I said. "Hey, what does a Learning skill of 20 mean?"

"The Learning skill represents your ability to learn things, with higher levels increasing the amount of Experience you gain," Rachel explained. "Your learning is roughly equivalent to a thirty year old priestess born to a major temple who has been exceptionally diligent in her studies. I myself am twenty four years old, and my own Learning skill of 10 is considered exceptional, but not unheard of, with a knight of my age typically having a Learning of 5, and a peasant a Learning of 3. It has been a common assumption that I will prove myself at some point, marry into my lord's family, and become her designated heir."

"Hm. Well, that's not a terrible start," I said. "I'd ask when you start teaching me this Void magic stuff, but it occurs to me that there's a somewhat more important question to ask."

"Oh?"

"I will inevitably have to take a shit. Where is the most socially-acceptable place to do that?"

"I will show you to the garderobe when necessary," Rachel said, before yawning. "Today has been... very long. I will likely retire to bed soon, and it would likely be wise of you to join me."

I blinked, realizing the implications of that, and the fact that she had only one bed.

"...Uh," I said, pointing at her bed.

"We are both Alphas," she said with a shrug. "Besides. There is room enough for us both."

So on the one hand, I was in an Isekai LitRPG where I was an Archmage with an affinity for Void Magic. On the other hand, I was in a universe full of sexy ladies and absolutely zero men with a tall, buff lady-knight and there's only one bed.

"Goddamnit, whoever's fault this power fantasy is," I muttered. "Make up your damn mind."