"It's nice to see you again, Lucy," Marquis Jet said. "You look like you mean business, though."

"I do," I admitted, nodding. "We're in a private place, right? Just you and me?"

"Indeed. I trust this has something to do with our... mutual friend?" Marquis Jet asked.

"I've been teleporting all over Nukem to assemble the Council for a meeting without our friend to discuss our friend," I said. "And a possible intervention, at this upcoming seasonal court session."

"...You can teleport?" Marquis Jet asked, blinking.

"Still not terribly well, but well enough for travel around Nukem," I said. "So, are you in?"

"Of course I am," Marquis Jet said, nodding.

----------------------------------------

"Here, drink this," I said, handing the Marquis a potion.

"You too, huh?" Count Edenfield asked.

"Sorry I'm not an immortal elf with thousands of years of practice," I said, folding my arms. "Isn't there official government business you reprobates should be attending to?"

And what kind of military aristocrat can't handle a little motion sickness, anyhow?

"There is, now that we're all gathered here," High Priestess Amelia said. "All except for our guest of honor."

"Right, I'll go get her," I said, opening the door to the conference room and sticking my head out into the hallway, looking for Kara, and spotting her sitting in a chair, reading a book. "Hey, they're ready."

"Oh, okay," Kara said, putting her book away and standing up. "...Dammit, I was just getting to the good part."

"Were you reading the book that I-"

"Yes, and I'll stroke your ego about it later."

I pulled my head back into the room, closed the door, and addressed the Council. "So, friends," I began. "How do we all feel about Duke Leyla Nukem?"

"That incompetent will be the ruin of us all," Count Rijeka said.

"She's been riding the coattails of a knight who got lucky for the past thirty years," Count Edenfield added.

"She has no administration skills and obstinately refuses to pay attention to discussions of vital infrastructure," Chief Executive Irena said. "Have you seen the state of Nukem's roads?"

"She is cruel and arbitrary, escalating petty grievances to matters of the highest importance, and then throwing around her unearned weight to get her way," Amelia said.

"She's an asshole and we're here to talk about replacing her, I'd reckon," Marquis Jet said, taking a seat at the table. "So, what's your plan, Lucy?"

I opened the door, and Kara stepped in.

"My name is Kara Nukem of the Black Stone," Kara said. "Bastard of Ariel Nukem, the Heir Apparent to Duke Kara Nukem, and, by right, the real Duke of Nukem."

"...Huh," Marquis Jet said. "We'll take any chance to get rid of that idiot, but... do be aware that Manor Nukem itself is attuned to the bloodline of House Nukem. Giving a nun blonde hair and broad shoulders won't fool the Manor."

"Then my arrival at the Manor should prove my legitimacy," Kara said, shrugging.

"The Grand Temple will vouch for her legitimacy," Amelia said. "We have known her heritage her whole life, and attempted to raise her into a competent administrator. She was... willful and uncooperative, however. How Lucy and Rachel managed to change that, I will always wonder."

"Hmph. How exactly are you the rightful Duke, and not just in the line of succession?" Count Sylvan asked.

"The succession laws of House Nukem are simple, and should be quite well known," Kara said. "Any heir without a void affinity is ineligible for the full title of Duke, and in fact, Leyla Nukem is in fact a Steward of the ducal throne. When an heir with the void affinity appears, the Steward may be dismissed by the heir at any time, allowing the heir to take the throne. These laws are nearly as old as House Nukem itself, and are, in fact, baked into the Manor itself."

Now. We'd been smart about this whole endeavor, and of course used the insane amounts of magic Carbon had at her disposal to check that Kara was, in fact, an heir to House Nukem's bloodline. And, it would seem, Kara was! Fantastic! Now we didn't have to hack into the complicated spellwork of Manor Nukem to make it do what we wanted, which none of us would actually feel bad about, but would have been an extra complication.

"Honored Councilors," Kara continued, barreling onward and taking control of the conversation. "We have spent far too long under the yoke of a madwoman... and, shamefully, I have spent far too long rejecting my destiny. But, with the aid of Archmage Lucifer Morningstar and Swordsage Rachel Miranda of the Black Wind, I have found my courage, found more companions for my retinue, and struck a new contract of vassalage with a mighty ally that Leyla knows not."

Elendar entered the room to stand beside Kara. "The dark elves, a community of one thousand void users, stand behind Kara Nukem's claim to the throne, pledging ourselves to her service as vassals."

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

"And so, all of us shall go to Manor Nukem two days hence, while the false Duke holds court," Kara said. "The Council shall denounce her, for every transgression and folly, so that all who bear witness will understand the truth of the matter. And then... the Council shall announce the arrival of myself, the true heir. I will make myself known. I will revoke the Steward's position and cast her from my hall. And I will assume my rightful place as the Duke of Nukem, and begin the long, arduous process of setting right everything that my predecessor has broken in my absence."

"You can't possibly be any worse than Leyla," Count Sylvan said. "But how do we know you're not just a puppet for the Temple?"

"The Temple who badgered me nearly my entire life with a prospect I could not stomach until two other people, who do not work for the Temple or owe it any allegiance, finally proposed a better path?" Kara asked, narrowing her eyes and glaring at an innocent-looking Amelia. "The extent of my favor towards the Temple will be not elevating my petty grudges to the level of ducal policy. I will deal with them in a scrupulously even-handed manner. Now, if that is the last of your concerns..." That did, in fact, seem to be the last of them. "...Who assents to this plan?"

A series of glances were shared among the Council... save for Amelia, who raised her hand almost immediately.

"High Priestess Amelia lends her full support to this plan," Amelia said.

"Chief Executive Irena lends her full support to this plan," Irena said, knowing better than to be the last.

"Marquis Joan Jet of the Black Stone lends her full support to this plan," the grizzled old Marquis said, nodding. "I knew your grandmother, before the war. You have big boots to fill... but I have faith you'll manage."

"Count Caroline Edenfield of the Black Water lends her full support to this plan, putting her life in your hands."

"Should this fail, we face execution or civil war," Count Sylvan said.

"Count Rijeka of the Black Water lends her full support to this plan," Count Rijeka said. "For if we all stand united... there will be no civil war."

"...Very well. Count Sylvan of the Black Flame lends her full support to this plan. Void preserve us all."

"We will review the plan again before we leave for Manor Nukem via teleportation," Kara said.

"And this time, it will be done by an ancient elf with thousands of years of practice," I added. "Your delicate constitutions should be able to get through it just fine."

"I would like to renegotiate our contract of vassalage," Count Sylvan said. "I never want to suffer through her teleportation ever again, and I do not want you to be able to make me."

"We'll put it on the schedule for the next Council meeting," Kara said blandly. "This one is adjourned."

----------------------------------------

Four times a year, every three months, there was a Council meeting. One of those always lined up with the annual elections in Kotor, and set a rough schedule for the other three. Emphasis on rough, because of Leyla Nukem's many, many poor qualities, her inability to run a tight ship was one of them.

When a Councilor attended the Council meeting, it was never alone. They always had an honor guard in the form of their most favored knight, and they left their wives in charge of their lands in their absence. Leyla was an exception to this rule, because her most favored knight was also her wife, and this was often thought of as another weakness of hers, which itself was a weird political and sexism-based thing that I did not feel equipped to untangle even slightly.

Anyhow, Carbon and I teleported around Nukem in the afternoon leading up to the court meeting, collecting the knights of the Councilors. Thirty years ago, the size of one's honor guard was a sign of trust in one's liege and the security of their realm, which was a change from the tradition a few hundred years ago, in which it was a means of displaying power, until one too many brawls broke out among the knights gathered at a Council meeting, and the Duke at the time issued a new statute- which, in times since, had been stricken from law, but without a return to the old customs. These days, one knight demonstrated strong faith in the security of your liege's realm... and, incidentally, was now the maximum set by law under Leyla Nukem.

So, naturally, we gathered up a dozen knights from each county, with the intent of simply hiding most of them until the time was right.

The Council and their legally maximized honor guard- the Chief Executive brought a Knight of the Kotor Republic, and Amelia brought the swordsage who'd taught, evaluated, and initiated Rachel into their ranks- entered the Grand Hall of Nukem Manor, while the rest of us, meaning my whole polycule and all of the knights, waited just outside the Hall, under a shroud of imperceptibility maintained by Carbon, while we watched what happened in the Grand Hall through a scrying spell also maintained by Carbon, who could hurry up and dump some more skill scrolls on us if she didn't want to be the one casting all of the spells.

"Alright, alright, everyone shut the fuck up," Leyla Nukem declared from her throne. "Court's in session; it's time to kick ass and hear complaints, and I'm sure you fuckers have a lot to complain about. First on the list... Chief Executive Irena. Whatcha got for me, babe?"

"The banishment of Archmage Lucifer Morningstar and Sir Rachel Miranda of the Black Wind," Irena said, standing from her seat.

The Grand Hall's chancel was big enough, and its high table long enough, to host the entire council and more, but because Leyla was an insecure, power-tripping jackass, the Councilors got to sit in the nave with the knights of Leyla's own household.

"Not this shit again," Leyla said. "I'm pretty goddamn sure I dismissed this one... what was the term, racistly?"

"With prejudice," Irena said. "And while you did move to dismiss the issue with prejudice, so that it may never again be raised in a Council meeting, you were outvoted six to one, and it was merely dismissed for the duration of that meeting. It is now a new Council meeting, and I am raising the issue again."

"Look, I'm not letting those dipshits back into my house, on my land, without the Teapot of fucking Eternity in their hands," Leyla said, arms folded. "This isn't a matter that concerns the whole realm, and I don't need you chickenshit bureaucrats and limp-dicked nobles to approve of it."

"And yet... should they return with the Teapot of Eternity, you will allow them in?" Irena asked.

"Yeah, sure, if they somehow manage to do that, I'll get right fucking on it," Leyla said, rolling not just her eyes but her entire head, which was my cue.

"Yeah, you will get right fucking on it," I said, storming into the Grand Hall side by side with Rachel, both of us holding the Teapot of Eternity openly. "Guess who's fucking back, you stupid piece of shit?"

"Did you miss us?" Rachel asked, smirking.