This Isn’t My World, And It Pisses Me Off

Chapter 16

The lands before the castle were swarming with monsters and demons and undead of all sorts. Ikari watched it all from a balcony in the castle. “Nope.” He shook his head, turning back and making his way down a staircase as Madyline and Amber followed him.

“What are you doing?” Amber asked, carefully trying to walk after him in a way that did not end up tripping over the others with a massive black pole she held in her hands.

“I’m not being the kind of asshole King who leads from above.” He walked out the main door of the castle, which still had not been fixed since Ikari’s entrance. The masses at the bottom fell into a hush as they watched a human walk out from the Demon King’s castle.

He was followed by Amber, who now could maneuver her staff freely, and Madyline, who rested a hand on her mace. Ikari got to a few steps away from the bottom, just enough to look over all of their heads.

“ANXIETY!!!!” On the outside it seemed he was calm, but he had never talked in front of this many people. He took in a deep breath and pushed down his worries. Just as he was about to start, a small purple crystal was pushed in front of his face.

Ikari looked in surprise to Amber, who had left it floating in front of him. “It is a Sonorous Crystal. It is commonly used by bards, but you can use it to speak.” She told him.

He nodded. A microphone, basically. He coughed away from it and looked out at the sea of creatures. “Beezlebub is dead. I killed him.” Immediately there was a roar of anger from the crowd, and Ikari’s eye twitched.

He sucked in a deep breath, and Madyline quickly covered the crystal and held it away from Ikari’s mouth. “QUIET!!” His perk activated and the world seemed to fall quiet under his whim.

Madyline slowly placed the purple crystal back in front of Ikari. “Thank you.” He nodded to her. He turned his attention back to the crowd. “I killed him, because I was lied to. Because I was promised something, by the Human King Otto.”

“Fuck him.” Ikari hissed into the crystal, his words carrying and surprising those before him. “He lied to me, he promised me something and that promise would never, could never be fulfilled.” Some murmurs started to pop up in the crowd.

“And now, he is going to pay.” He had the full attention of the crowd now. “And he will pay. But not after we’ve destroyed his Pride.” “Get them involved. It’s not just you.” Ikari remembered a few pieces of advice when it came to speaking.

“That King loves his Kingdom. Not the people, he couldn’t give a ratsass about them.” He threw out his hand and made a fist. “That Kingdom. The land he rules over. He thinks it’s ‘the forefront of culture and technology’.”

His mocking voice caused a few laughs throughout the crowd before him, and Ikari smiled, seeing them agreeing with him. “So you know what we’re going to do?” He asked rhetorically, watching as some of the demons leaned in with interest.

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“We’re going to build a better Kingdom. We’re going to be the forefront of culture. Of technology.” The crowd began nodding along with him, and Ikari’s smile widened. “We’re going to make his Kingdom look like a- like a-.”

He panicked momentarily. He was stuttering. He was losing them. “A beowulf’s ballsack.” A voice whispered in his ear, and he grabbed onto it.

“Like a Beowulf’s ballsack!” He announced. The crowd erupted into cheers, and Ikari’s shoulders sagged in relief. He turned momentarily to thank Amber, but stopped as the Dullahan looked behind him in surprise.

“You’re the catgirl…” Ikari realised. Said catgirl’s expression immediately turned into one of anger. “You never told me your name!” He said quickly, recognising the flags.

Her frown lessened, and she took a breath. “Jade.” She said shortly. “I’m still pissed at you. But, Amber and Tin aren’t the only ones who didn’t like Beezlebub.” She gripped her arm tightly, Ikari seeing claws glinting in the light.

“Shoulda knocked him around a bit more.” Ikari thought to himself, seeing Jade grappling with some inner demon. He’d have to talk to her at some point about whatever it was. “Madyline, can I have that map?”

The maid nodded, handing the rolled up parchment to him as he spread it out on the ground. “Amber, how accurate is this, do you know?”

The Dullahan kneeled down to inspect the map. “Yes, fairly so.” She looked up to Ikari as he brought a hand to his chin.

“I know nothing about leading a Kingdom. I can probably wing it, but my knowledge about all this stuff is way to vague.” He picked the map up and pointed to the line that separated the ‘dangerous demon territory’ from the rest of the lands.

“I want to build a wall.” He said. “I’m not entirely sure how to go about leading a Kingdom, but I feel like a wall is a good place to start.” He looked out to the crowd, seeing the masses talking animatedly with one another.

“I mean it worked for China…” He deadpanned. Ikari wished he knew more about running a kingdom, but it wasn’t exactly like he expected to have to do this any day. “The only thing I know how to do is design video games…”

He played quite a lot of them too, not to the extent that he would be labeled a shut-in otaku, but he still played quite a few. “Now, we also need a source of food. What do you guys normally eat?” He turned to Jade and Amber, hoping his stomach wouldn’t growl.

His didn’t, but a slight growl to his left sent Madyline into the spotlight. “Um, I’m sorry.” She bowed her head, causing Ikari to sigh.

“We would mostly hunt. Not everything in the Demon Lands are sentient. And, some times, we raid farms…” Amber looked away from Ikari’s gaze at the last point.

“I thought you said you didn’t send forces to actively attack lands.” Ikari asked with a raised eyebrow.

“They do not attack.” Amber nodded. “But, they do sometimes take. Though, I instructed them not to take too much. And to try and leave something in kind.”

“What would they leave?” Ikari asked out of curiosity.

“High Level minerals and resources.” Amber answered. “We have an abundance of them, and they do tend to regrow rather quickly.”

Ikari chewed the inside of his cheek. “Makes sense. End Game areas always have the best loot and materials. Though it probably won’t be healthy to keep considering this whole world a game.”

“Well, get some of those materials and build a wall.” He told her, walking down the steps as the demons and monsters parted before him.

“And make sure that it’s mainly wood. I don’t want a wall of like, pure black crystal or anything.” He called back, before feeling something pull at his hoodie.

“Yes?” He looked down to see Madyline holding onto him. The maid silently pointed to the castle they had just come from.

Ikari stared at it.

It was a massive structure of pitch black onyx that stood out against the bright blue sky like a sore thumb. “God damn it.”