“Now then,” Ses-Xipil said at last, no longer speaking Ninifin. “Ah, it is nice to be able to use a civilised language for a change. I suppose that will be a benefit to having an assistant. I presume you are the outsider that Fra-Mecatl hoped to see raised to the priesthood.”
Zandrue hadn’t spoken this language in a very long time. It was her first language from childhood, but even first languages could decay through years of disuse. “That’s correct.” She coughed from the long-unused sounds required. “Apologies. It must be the steam.”
Ses-Xipil chuckled. “When you’ve been away from home awhile, that can sometimes happen. What were your intentions with Fra-Mecatl?”
“A contact outside Ninifin gave me her name as someone more open to outsiders than most. I knew that if I just walked up to the Grand Temple or Palace, I wouldn’t be allowed in to see you, so I thought going to Fra-Mecatl was a better place to start. If I could convince her to give me religious instruction and to sponsor me to the priesthood, I would have a chance of finding my way to you. My birthday falls under the sphere of Sestin, so I would be given the Ses- honorific and possibly placed under your direct tutelage. Even if I wasn’t, it would improve my odds of meeting you. I never expected to bump into you by chance on the road.”
“I see.” Ses-Xipil lay on the bench and stretched out. “Feel free to make yourself as comfortable as you wish. Now you’ve bumped into me, there is little reason for you to return to Fra-Mecatl.”
“She will wonder where I am.” Zandrue remained sitting upright.
“Yes, she will, but we will let her think you have run off or been killed. Some of my associates have reason to want to see her disgraced in such a fashion.”
“Will it be bad for her?”
Ses-Xipil rolled onto her side. “Have feelings for her, do you?”
“Only enough to not want to see her unnecessarily hurt. She was kind to me.”
Ses-Xipil rolled onto her back. “Don’t worry. It will be a loss of honour, but will hurt nothing more than her pride. The question becomes what to do with you. The coincidence of another outsider will draw attention, so we cannot prepare you for the priesthood as much as I would love to claim the honour Fra-Mecatl hoped to claim. I will have to keep you here at the villa, at least until memories of Fra-Mecatl’s outsider have faded. Word that I have an outsider here will undoubtedly reach others, but I think I can deal with that.” She sighed and sat up. She looked at Zandrue and frowned.
“Is there a problem?” Zandrue asked.
“Yes, though it is not your fault. It’s Ofstakim’s, or whoever turned to him for an agent. Are there no arcraime who look Ninifin?”
“Not in my division. I don’t know about any others.”
“As I said, that man is an idiot. If I had to guess, he didn’t even consider your appearance when selecting you. He just chose from whoever he had available.”
Zandrue just nodded.
“Nothing to say to that? Not going to defend him?”
She shook her head.
“Good. If you are going to work under me, you need to know that I will trash-talk him.”
“I hate him,” Zandrue said.
Ses-Xipil nodded. “Most who serve under him do, but unfortunately, many are also brainwashed. They hate and love their tormentor at the same time. Enough that they will defend him against any accusation and even willingly die to protect him.”
“I told my father once that I wished I could be transferred to a different division. He told me I should be honoured to be where I am, that Ofstakim would turn me into a skilled and deadly warrior. Then he told Ofstakim, and Ofstakim had me whipped.”
“How old were you?”
“Eight or nine, I think. I don’t remember for sure anymore.”
“The man’s methods are abusive. Tell me, Lacquaime, how old were you on your first mission?”
“Ten.”
Ses-Xipil lowered and shook her head. “It should be sixteen at least, and then only if the girl has shown herself exceptionally skilled. What happened?”
“I was caught. Nearly executed. I returned in failure.”
“All sent at that age do. Ofstakim would say it’s to build resilience and determination.”
Zandrue wiped a tear from her eye. “Yes, that’s what he told me.”
“So many die, so many turn carcraime, and yet he still has his position. I am glad you are willing to tell me these things, Lacquaime. If you are going to serve me, I need you to be open with me.”
Zandrue was a bit surprised she was being so open and truthful with her, but it was working. It was gaining her trust. And she had never really had the opportunity to talk about these things with anybody. She could have, if she had just told Felitïa. She could have told Felitïa everything, and Felitïa would have listened and understood. But it had been too terrifying a prospect.
“You poor soul,” Tadstaime said and Zandrue realised she was crying. “Feel free to let it out. Remember no one else can hear you, and know that I understand and sympathise.”
But if Tadstaime found out Zandrue was carcraime, she wouldn’t hesitate to kill her, no matter how sympathetic she might also be.
Zandrue began to sob, then wail. Years of pent-up emotions burst from her, and she pounded and kicked at the stone walls. She wasn’t sure how long it went on, but when it finally came to a stop, she looked over to see Tadstaime pouring some more water on the stones. It was hard to tell through the steam, but she looked like she had been crying too.
“Come closer to me,” Tadstaime said. Zandrue approached her and she reached a hand out towards her face. “May I? You do not need to say yes, and I will honour your wishes, but I would like to touch your face. I so rarely get to feel another of my kind.”
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Zandrue nodded. “It’s okay.”
Tadstaime placed both hands on Zandrue’s cheeks and wiped away some of the tears. Then she leaned closer and breathed in Zandrue’s scent. Zandrue took the opportunity to do the same with her. It had been so long since she had taken in a scent like this. Tadstaime reminded Zandrue a bit of her mother, which brought back a flood of memories—some good, most bad.
Tadstaime ran her fingers around Zandrue’s ears and then through her hair, probing her scalp. She stopped when she found the slight indents of Zandrue’s recessed horns. The new skin was still tender to the touch and Zandrue flinched.
“My apologies. There is some scabbing here. You have recently been through your galdraif?”
Zandrue nodded.
“Was it a bad one?”
“No. I had my delgaldraif last year. This was easy compared to that.”
“I am glad to hear that.” Tadstaime removed her hands from Zandrue’s head. “Thank you for that. I will confess that I am beginning to like the idea of having an assistant, an associate here with me. But know this. I expect obedience, complete obedience, but I will never be unfair and I will always treat you with dignity, so long as you do the same for me.”
“You have my word,” Zandrue said.
“And I will make you a promise, Lacquaime. I am not without influence. I even have the ear of Prince Castroff himself. I am, of course, wise enough not to overuse my influence, but if you prove yourself to me, if you please me and are loyal, I promise you I will use what influence I can to have you transferred to a different division. Perhaps even placed with me permanently. I will not live forever and it would please me to know that I have a well-trained and trustworthy successor to turn things over to when my time comes. I also promise you, if the opportunity ever presents itself, I will kill Ofstakim for you. You need not do it yourself.”
“Did I say that during—”
“You screamed multiple times that you want to kill that motherfucker.”
“Ah. I was pretty incensed.”
“Think nothing of it. Now then, I know what your first task for me will be. Your chance to prove yourself to me. I confess I did some unwise things when you arrived. I was taken by surprise, and I reacted poorly. If I had been thinking, I would have simply treated you as nothing more than an outsider whom I suspected of being the one with Fra-Mecatl. That’s why I stopped you, after all. Once we were here in private, we could talk. The girl who was here with me—Ses-Ihuicatl—she is very talented and a very promising conjurer. She is very smart and my actions will make her question things. She also ascribes to the teachings of people like Fra-Mecatl and Fra-Atl. I fully accept that this is my fault and not yours, Lacquaime, but I am now asking you to clean up my mistake. Deal with her and make sure no one ever finds the body.”
Zandrue nodded. “Of course.”
Tadstaime wiped sweat from her forehead and walked over to the door. “I think I have had enough of the sweat house for today. You do not need to deal with the girl immediately. Sometime in the next forty-eight hours will be fine. I’ll let you choose the exact time and means. Until then, enjoy the sweat house as much as you want. When you are ready to leave, there will be a servant outside who will show you where you can bunk. Do not use the name you were using with Fra-Mecatl. Pick a new one. I don’t care what as long as it’s Arnorin. I look forward to the possibilities your presence brings, Lacquaime. I think I will enjoy working with you, and I hope you enjoy working with me.” She reached for the door, but paused. “But know this: If you ever betray me, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
“I understand.” As you will when you find out I’m carcraime, Zandrue thought.
“Back to being Ses-Xipil then and that annoying language. I will see you soon.” The metal bar on the door vanished. She opened it and left.
That was twelve days ago. And now Zandrue sat eating dinner with Tadstaime/Ses-Xipil like she had most evenings since, having apparently proven herself.
“I shall be returning to the City in the morning,” Tadstaime said. “I will probably be gone two days. When I return, I will have word on that assignment for you. If Fra-Ichtaca is not on board, I will come up with something else for you.”
“Just two more days of patience then,” Zandrue said.
Tadstaime nodded and smiled.
“It’s quicker than I expected, actually.”
“You have pleased me. I know I haven’t said much of it, as I have been waiting to see what comes of it, but I am very impressed with the Ses-Ihuicatl situation.”
“Thank you. Do you wish to know what I did?”
“No. I only care that it is done. And the fewer people who know, the better. Including me. But assuming she remains unfound, you have done an exemplary job.”
It had been a long time since Zandrue had killed in cold blood. She had killed in defence of herself or others like Felitïa, and sometimes because the other person simply deserved it—which she supposed counted as cold blood. But an innocent in cold blood was altogether different.
Getting the girl out to the sweat house in the late evening had been easy. A simple statement that Ses-Xipil had summoned her was enough. It had also been easy to slip her a sleeping draught while she waited for Ses-Xipil to arrive. Then Zandrue simply carried her into the darkness of the night to a muddy pool fed by the Toucan and waited for her to wake up.
“What’s happening?” the girl cried. “Why am I here? What’s going on?”
Zandrue knelt beside her. “One of two things. Hopefully the better one. The mud? That’s either to dilute the blood when I slit your throat or to get you really dirty and cover up your tattoos.”
The girl was crying and Zandrue couldn’t blame her.
“Look, Ses-Xipil is an evil woman and she has ordered me to kill you, but I don’t want to do that, so here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to let you go. I’ve brought a change of clothes for you. You’ll put them on, get yourself nice and dirty so no one recognises you and no one wants to come near you. Then you’ll head north. Go around the City and then go straight to Fra-Mecatl’s ranch. Tell her Zandrue sent you and that you need to get out of Ninifin as soon as possible. Tell her you’re a dead woman otherwise. She will be really annoyed and she will bitch and complain, but in the end, she will make arrangements for you. Do your best not to let her brother or anyone else there see you, especially not an outsider man staying with them. Fra-Tepeu does frequent trips into the city and without me there, he’ll probably take the man with him. Wait until they’re away before you present yourself to Fra-Mecatl. Oh, and tell Fra-Mecatl not to worry about me or to tell anyone about me. They can’t come looking for me. If they do, it could get a lot of people killed. Anyway, once you’re out of Ninifin, look for a woman people are calling Eleuia. She’s not the real Eleuia obviously, but never mind, just look for her. If you can’t find her, go to a woman in Getavin named Luana. But on no condition are you to ever return to Ninifin. If you do, you will die. Do you understand?”
“I don’t know. I—”
“Do. You. Understand?”
The girl nodded and between sobs, gasped, “Yes, I understand.”
“Will you follow my instructions exactly?”
“Yes, I will.”
“If you give me your word, I’ll believe you and trust you. Just remember that if you don’t do what I say, you will die, as will I and probably lots of other people too. Give me your word.”
“I give you my word.”
Zandrue smiled at her. “Thank you.” She took her dagger out and the girl flinched. “It’s okay.” She reached out and cut the girls bonds. “The clothes are lying over there. Put them on, roll around in the mud a bit, and then get the fuck out of here.”
Zandrue got up and walked away, not watching to see how well the girl followed her instructions. The fact Zandrue was still alive now was a good indication she had done as told—or at the very least, had proven to be very good at hiding herself. Either way worked.
Zandrue smiled at Tadstaime. “Thank you for everything and for being so good to me after knowing me for so little time.”
Tadstaime reached out and took her hand. “I have seen too many young women in your situation. It makes me happy to be able to help one for a change.”
It was going to be hard to betray this woman, which Zandrue knew she would have to do eventually—and that would likely mean killing her if she wanted to avoid dying herself. She really liked her. But the fact Tadstaime had ordered the death of an innocent girl as a test of loyalty was a constant reminder that, as much as Zandrue liked her, she was no innocent herself. Tadstaime didn’t yet know it, but that test of loyalty had ensured disloyalty in the end.