Chica’s head exploded.

The spear came from nowhere. It tore through the underside of Chica’s chin into her skull. It came back dragging bits of bone, brain, and viscera with it, spraying blood in every direction. The light in Chica’s eyes went out without even time to cry out, and she fell backwards into Akna’s arms.

Akna had seen that scene so many times. Hundreds? Thousands? Almost every time she closed her eyes, it replayed in her head.

The ridiculous part was, Akna had been behind Chica when she’d died. She hadn’t seen it from the front. Yet in her head, she saw it from the front. Her imagination, obviously, but it was so real. It intruded into her dreams and her waking thoughts. Sometimes into real memories of other times.

Just now, she had been dreaming of the morning only a couple of days before they’d set out for Scovese. Chica was so excited about getting to play the role of the Queen. Although Chica and Nin-Xoco were only cousins, they had always looked similar enough they could have been twins. Chica was the obvious choice to play the part. She and Akna had just made love and they were enjoying a light breakfast, when her head exploded again, impaled by Ses-Tlacotl’s spear.

Even the happy memories weren’t safe.

Chica wasn’t the only one Akna saw. On occasion, she saw the bodies of Inhuan and her other friends in the Youth Guard. She saw Queen Nin-Xoco die, Ses-Zeltzin’s spear piercing her body while Akna looked on, unable to do anything, unable to fulfil her vow to defend her Queen’s life even at the cost of her own.

She saw her vengeance on Ses-Tlacotl. She felt the rage that had burned inside her as she smashed the face of her dearest friend’s killer into the metal floor over and over. As with Chica, she had only really seen the back of Ses-Tlacotl’s head, but in her mind, she saw it from the front. She saw the nose cave in, the jaw shatter, broken teeth spill out, the eyes sink into the skull.

Nin-Akna, it’s over. She’s dead. You can stop now.

But she hadn’t stopped right away, and in her head, she kept going until the skull caved in and all she had left in her hands were strands of hair attached to a broken piece of skull.

She killed Chica. She had to die.

Ses-Tlacotl had deserved to die. But the rage Akna had felt in that moment was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. The person most dear to her in the world was gone and she’d wanted vengeance. In her nightmares, she revelled and gloried in that vengeance. She enjoyed every moment of it.

And awake, that terrified her.

Akna had trained almost her whole life to be a warrior—to protect the Queen, and to kill if necessary. But until Scovese—until Ses-Tlacotl—she had never killed for real. Not a person. Animals while hunting, sure. But not a person.

Now, she wasn’t sure how many she had killed. A lot. Many of whom were just warriors doing their duty. Others who took too much glee in what they were doing. Others who had watched Ses-Zeltin kill the Queen and had done nothing to stop her. Akna had controlled herself better on those occasions. They bothered her less now, but she hadn’t forgotten that rage.

The nightmares came every night. She wasn’t alone—Meleng had nightmares most nights, too; so did Felitïa from what Akna could tell—but she was alone in their intensity. She had spent many dark nights sobbing in Meleng’s arms, and even more sobbing by herself after they had gone separate ways.

Felitïa was aware of what was happening. How could she not be? Akna had tried to hide it, but Felitïa was telepathic and, all things considered, it would probably have been obvious even to people without telepathy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Felitïa had offered one of the days on the road in the week after they had left the others in Getavin.

Akna shook her head, but said nothing. Felitïa didn’t push it any further.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Felitïa. She did. She just couldn’t look at Felitïa without thinking about her telepathy. Just how much was Felitïa reading in her mind?

Felitïa claimed her abilities weren’t like that. She could only detect emotions. Meleng had confirmed it, but how much did Meleng really know? He couldn’t read Felitïa’s thoughts. It wasn’t that Akna thought Felitïa was lying. It was just…

She couldn’t explain it. Since leaving Ninifin, things had changed. Maybe it was the fact she had had to leave Ninifin at all. That still rankled her. What right did Ses-Izel have to force her to leave her home? She could defend herself against any attempts on her life. Even if she wasn’t successful and she died, at least she wouldn’t be a coward who ran away.

Felitïa had done the right thing. She had told Ses-Izel clearly that she would bring Akna along only if she agreed to it. And Akna had agreed because deep down, she knew Ses-Izel was right. But she still hated it, and it was possible she was transferring some of that hatred to Felitïa. She didn’t want to, but part of her had wanted Felitïa to argue with Ses-Izel—to use her position as Will-Breaker—to convince Ses-Izel to let Akna stay.

There was also the fact Felitïa had had a chance to kill Fra-Ichtaca and hadn’t taken it—had not allowed others to take it either. If she had, there might not have even been a need to leave Ninifin in the first place.

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And so she couldn’t bring herself to open up to Felitïa.

That was one of the reasons, at any rate.

She should have gone with Meleng, but that hadn’t been an option.

“I promised Sinitïa I would look after you. I made a vow to keep you safe.”

Meleng gave her a sad smile. They were the last two sitting at the table after everyone else had gone to bed that last night in Getavin. “You’ve kept that vow. You’ve kept me safe.”

“For now, but you’ve got a long journey ahead of you. It might be dangerous.”

“Jorvan can look after me. You passed the duties on to Inhuan when we were separated before. Pass them on to Jorvan now. You need to go with Felitïa.”

Akna poked at the food on her plate. She hadn’t eaten any of it all evening. “I don’t need Felitïa looking after me no matter what Ses-Izel thinks.”

“You’re right. You don’t. She needs you.”

Akna flicked a pea off her plate and onto the floor. “And when her hands have healed?”

“I wasn’t talking about her hands. Felitïa’s powerful, but she’d be dead if she didn’t have someone like you or Zandrue watching over her.”

She didn’t look up at him, but continued to stare at the plate. She flicked another pea. “Why don’t you come with us to Quorge?”

“Someone has to go with Jorvan. It wouldn’t be fair to make him go alone. Either I go with him or you do and I go with Felitïa, and I think Felitïa needs your help more than Jorvan does. Besides, he asked me to go with him.”

She flicked another pea. He was right. They had duties and she was being childish, clinging to a crush she knew could never go anywhere. She looked up at him. “Just promise me you won’t die.”

“I’m not sure I can make that promise, but I’ll do my best.”

“I’ll talk to Jorvan in the morning before you leave. I’ll make sure he knows that if you die, I’ll be coming after him.” She cracked a smile, and he smiled back.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. The she leaned towards him and he towards her. Their lips touched.

That part wasn’t real. It was no longer memory, but a dream, and she never had pleasant dreams these days. Best enjoy it while it lasted. A kiss with Meleng that she longed for but would never get.

Meleng became Chica, and then Chica’s head exploded.

Akna caught her friend yet again as she fell backwards, blood and viscera spraying everywhere.

There were no pleasant dreams.

Only nightmares.

Her face—her real face, not her dream one—was wet with tears. The smell of salt hung in the air, and the hard surface she was lying on seemed to be swaying a little.

Akna opened her eyes to see a small cabin with shelves of glass bottles. She was lying on a table with some blankets over her. A bald Folith sat at another table nearby, head bent over some papers.

Akna sat up, the blankets falling away from her. She was wearing only a thin shift and there was an ache in her neck. Something had stung her? No, worse. She’d been poisoned. It was coming back to her now. “Where am I?”

The bald man looked up. “You’re awake! You’re onboard the Silhouette under the command of Captain Harrick Padara. Your friends have been very worried about you. Fortunately, you have a strong constitution. I’ve heard that Ninifins are a hardy bunch. Don’t see many outside your lands though.”

“Where are my friends?” She didn’t have time for idle chit-chat—or maybe she did, but she didn’t want to talk to this person.

The bald man stood up and came round the table. “I’ve been told to tell you that Lord Amar Padara invites you to join him and her Highness, Princess Felitïa at his home. I’ll inform the first mate you’re awake and he’ll assign someone to escort you there. You’ll find your clothes and belongings in that chest right there. I’ll return shortly.”

Akna watched him go, then hopped off the table. Her clothes were where the Folith had said they were, as was her dagger and coin purse. Not her spears, though. They had been tied to Mulac, so were probably with all the other travel supplies—wherever they were. She dressed, then drew her dagger and kept it clutched in her hand while she waited for the Folith to return.

When he did, there were two other Foliths with him. “It pleases me to see you awake,” one of them said. “I am First Mate—”

“Just tell me where I need to go to find Felitïa and Corvinian.”

He gaped for a moment, then straightened his back and stiffened his shoulders. “You will find her Highness at Lord Padara’s—”

“I know that. Tell me where that is.”

He indicated the third Folith. “Ensign Parkin here will be happy to guide you.”

“I don’t need a guide. I can make my own way. Just tell me where to go.” She raised her dagger a little—not enough to be threatening, she hoped, but enough to make her point clear. She was tired of people telling her what to do.

The bald man who’d been there when she’d woken shrugged. “Lord Padara’s home is north of the city. You can’t miss it. It’s on a bluff overlooking the city.”

Akna nodded. “I remember seeing it when we arrived. I can find it easily enough.” She sheathed her dagger and motioned to Ensign Parkin. “You can show me off the ship.”

Parkin glanced at the First Mate, who nodded. “This way, ma’am,” Parkin said.