The mosquitoes were particularly annoying. Buzzing around Rudiger, around the horses. Everywhere. On the best of days, there were a lot of them, but today, they were out in double force. It was the humidity. Fisvin could be like this too. Whenever it got humid, the mosquitoes came out to party. And the humidity today was horrible. There were dark clouds to the east, though, and maybe the storm they brought would bring some relief. It probably wouldn’t last long, but it would be something.

Still, mosquitoes aside, he’d been enjoying the weather the last couple months. It reminded him of home, something he’d found himself thinking a lot about recently. Maybe it was the staying in one spot. He’d been travelling for so long now—and so rarely with any real destination in mind—that he almost never had time to think of home. Staying in one place for two months now had given him time for reflection.

Rudiger whistled at Mulac, who was beginning to wander a little farther than Rudiger was comfortable with. All the horses looked up at the sound, but they had a way of knowing which one he was calling to, so once they’d determined it wasn’t them he wanted, they went back to grazing. Except Mulac, who trotted back.

“Good boy,” he said when the horse arrived. He patted the dark grey gelding’s nose and offered him a piece of sugar cane. The horse took it and wandered off to graze some more.

No, it was more than just staying in one spot. It was a whole mixture of unrelated things. He’d travelled by himself a lot, but had never felt alone. Now, he had people to interact with regularly, but loneliness was all he felt. No Borisin. No Zandrue now. And Jorvan had to stay hidden, so Rudiger only saw him for brief periods of time. Even when he’d travelled alone, he’d had Borisin with him.

Gods, he missed that horse.

Fra-Tepeu’s horses were wonderful—beautiful, behaved, smart. He enjoyed looking after them.

But they weren’t Borisin.

It had been over two months since they’d gotten over the wall and into Ninifin. Two months since Eleuia had taken Borisin, since Borisin had talked to her. Rudiger still wasn’t certain whether to be amazed or jealous. Not that it mattered really. He just wanted Borisin around again. As annoying as that horse could be, Rudiger couldn’t stand being without him.

Eleuia had said there was a way to get Borisin across, too. She’d said it would take time, but he’d thought she meant a week or two, maybe three at most. He definitely hadn’t been thinking in terms of months. He worried now that she had just taken off with Borisin with no intention of bringing him past the wall. Rudiger couldn’t forget that, until Borisin talked to her, she had been talking about taking him and the horses as payment for her services. Perhaps her later promises had just been lies.

“You’re not hiding a secret ability to talk to me, are you?” he asked Xoco, who had come to graze near him.

Borisin would have had a sarcastic comment to make about that.

Xoco ignored him. The young mare was the most stand-offish of the horses under his care. She was named after the Ninifin queen and seemed to know it. She had a bit of a pompous air to her, but could be very friendly when she wanted something.

Things just weren’t the same without Borisin around.

Less time spent responding to Borisin’s complaints meant more time to think of other things.

And now Zandrue was gone, too.

But no. He’d be damned if he thought about her.

Better to think of home and his parents. Of course, there was no way she could have known the day she’d chosen to take off without explanation was the anniversary—three years to the day—of the day he’d come home to find his parents murdered. His mother lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood, her throat slashed. His father hanging from a hook that had been slammed into their bedroom door. The house was a mess, wardrobes and desks ransacked, furniture overturned, holes smashed in walls, but nothing missing as best Rudiger could tell. And no one willing to do anything about it, either.

No, there was no way Zandrue could have known that. It was a ridiculous coincidence, but it didn’t soften the blow. The terrible irony was, he’d been coming to talk to her about his parents. Knowing the anniversary was approaching and thinking about them more than usual, he’d begun to wonder if their deaths were somehow linked to everything he, Zandrue, and the others had been going through. It certainly seemed a strong possibility his parents’ killers had been after Slay. It would have been the first time in a long time he’d spoken more than the briefest words about his parents. And she’d told him she was leaving.

Gods damn it, he was thinking about her again. He’d spent the last few nights crying himself to sleep; he wasn’t about to do that again.

“What are you staring at?” he asked Xoco, who was looking at him with her head tilted to the side. He walked up to her and she nudged him with her head. She wanted him to scratch behind her ears, so he obliged.

The storm clouds were getting closer and the wind was picking up. Lightning flashed in the direction of the Jaguar, and he wondered if he should take the horses in. They hadn’t been out long and probably wouldn’t want to go in just yet. He didn’t relish the idea of standing in the storm, though, especially if it wasn’t a quick one. A short one might be refreshing. A long one...

Thunder boomed and Xoco jolted her head away from him. Nearby, Tepin looked up and began trotting towards the barn. Mulac joined her.

Okay, looked like they had made his decision for him. He called the others in and led them back to the barn. Xoco held back at the rear and had to be coaxed the last few feet through the doors. The rain was already coming down by then. Rudiger got her inside and closed the doors while more thunder rumbled overhead.

Getting inside turned out to be the right idea. The rain pounded on the roof and walls of the barn, and the wind howled amidst occasional booms of thunder.

Rudiger hoped Zandrue was caught in the storm.

No, he didn’t. Not really. But the momentary thought was cathartic.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?”

“Not for long,” Zandrue said. She was shoving articles of clothing into her bag. “A week. Maybe ten days.”

“Where to?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Just got a few things to take care of.”

“Is this something for Fra-Mecatl?”

“Yeah,” she said. “It’s just a little thing out of town for a bit.”

“Guess she’s really starting to trust you a bit more with these things.”

“Yeah, she’s been...” Zandrue stopped tying her bag and looked at him. Her shoulders slumped. “No, sorry, that’s a lie. This isn’t one of Fra-Mecatl’s missions. It’s just something I have to do.”

“Like what?” Had she actually tried to lie to him?

“Just...something.”

“Oh come on. What’s up? I’ll come with you. Help out. Be nice to move about a bit.”

She went back to tying her bag. “It’s nice of you to offer, but there’s nothing you can do. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“At least give me a little hint what you’re up to.”

“Just a little business I have to take care of.” She picked up her sword in its scabbard and tied it to her belt.

“Business?”

“Yeah, like I said, a week or two at most.”

“Where?”

“Ninifin.”

“The city?”

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“No, not the city. Just about. You know.”

“No, I don’t know. We’re stuck in this gods-forsaken country, can’t go anywhere, can barely interact with other people. How the hell can you have business to take care of?”

She tossed her bag over her shoulder. “Just because you can’t be bothered to get involved, Rudiger, doesn’t mean I don’t have things going on.”

“Except you don’t! Except Fra-Mecatl and her little resistance, there’s nothing else going on, and you already said it’s nothing to do with her.”

“I have other things going on, okay? Let’s just leave it at that.”

“No.” He shook his head and stood up. “Let’s not leave it at that. You can’t just take off like this. We’ve spent two months here in the hopes that this is going to pay off in some way. You can’t just throw all that away and take off.”

“I’m not throwing it away. I’m coming back. Look, just trust me, okay?”

He sighed. “I do trust you, but what will everyone think? Fra-Mecatl? She’s counting on you.”

“She’ll get by without me for a week or two.”

“And what do I tell them when they ask me?”

She shrugged. “It really doesn’t matter. Tell them whatever you like. I have to do this. That’s all you need to know. Now, I need to get going.”

He stepped between her and the door.

She put a hand on her hip, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “Get out of my way, Rudiger.”

“Just tell me what the hell is going on. Just a hint, even. You owe me that much.”

“Owe you?”

“Okay, bad choice of words—”

“Don’t think that just because I let you fuck me you get any say in what I say or do.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” He threw up his hands in the air.

“Believe it or not, Rudiger, what I’m doing is for your good and everyone else’s. Now get the fuck out of my way.”

He stepped aside. She threw the door open and stormed out of the room.

He followed her into the communal area of the house, where Fra-Tepeu and Fra-Mecatl were eating dinner. “Come on, you can’t take off like this.”

She stopped and turned around. “And how would you like me to take off? All demure and apologetic, begging you not to be angry with me?”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“I’ve had enough of this interrogation.”

“I’m just trying to understand!”

“Yeah, you and Felitïa. Now you have something to commiserate with each other over.”

“What the hell does Felitïa have to do with any of this?”

“Goodbye, Rudiger.” She turned her back to him and headed for the front door.

“Fine then, fuck you!”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen again.” She reached for the door handle and stumbled, nearly hitting her head on the door as she fell.

Rudiger rushed forward, reached out to help her.

“Get your fucking hands off me!”

He backed up a step as she stood up again. There was an added quality to her voice, guttural. He hadn’t heard anything like it from her before—or had he? “Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine.”

“What happened? Why did you—”

“Give it a rest, Rudiger.”

She had stumbled the day before, too, out of the blue with no apparent reason. She’d said it was just a passing dizziness, and he hadn’t thought much more of it at the time. “I just want to help,” he said. “Know you’re okay.”

She growled—actually growled, like a dog—opened the door, and walked out.

“If you’re ill, you—”

She looked back one last time. “You know what. Maybe it will take more than a week or two. How ’bout I make it month or two? How ’bout I just not come back at all? See how well you do without me. Goodbye, Rudiger. Been nice knowing you.”

Then Zandrue walked away. Across the field, towards the forest and the Jaguar, and out of sight.

Rudiger wanted to run after her, but he knew that would just make it worse. So he closed the door. Fra-Tepeu and Fra-Mecatl were watching him. “Don’t think I’ll be wanting dinner tonight.”

That had been three days ago. Now he just wasn’t thinking of her—except he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. He doubted she really meant the whole thing about not coming back. That was her temper speaking. But it didn’t matter. Things wouldn’t be the same when she came back. She didn’t trust him. And he was starting to understand why Jorvan had such a hard time trusting her.

Fra-Mecatl had been furious, but luckily she had overheard their argument. Even though she didn’t understand Arnorgue, she had come to the conclusion that Rudiger wasn’t at fault. She even offered to cover for Zandrue to all the others, to say that she had sent Zandrue on a meditative exercise in the wilderness.

“Thank you,” Rudiger told her. He still struggled with Ninifin, but he was getting better at the language. “I know she doesn’t deserve it, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

“She definitely doesn’t deserve it,” the old woman said. “I’m covering for her for your sake and for mine. I have put my life on the line for her, and she’s quite possibly ruined it all. The inspection committee was prepared to see her. Now, it will take months before they agree to another chance, if they ever agree at all. When she comes back, I will make her regret the day her father fucked her unfortunate mother.”

Gods, sometimes being in love wasn’t what it was cracked up to be.

The storm only lasted a half hour or so before the winds and rain calmed down, and the sun came out again. Rudiger spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning and brushing the horses, and trying not to think of Zandrue or Borisin.

After that, he took Mulac for a ride down to the river so he could clean himself up. The Jaguar was a rough river, but it was a little calmer here before it joined with the Toucan, and he’d discovered a pool fed by the river that was ideal for washing in. He and Zandrue had spent several hours here.

No, he wasn’t thinking of her.

Mulac got himself nice and muddy on the trip, so Rudiger had to clean him again on their return.

After a quiet dinner with Fra-Mecatl and Fra-Tepeu, he went to the cellar to see Jorvan. The Isyar was kneeling on the floor, face turned to the ceiling, eyes closed. Rudiger waited while he finished his prayers or meditation—as Rudiger understood it, Jorvan could be doing either or both of those.

A few minutes later, Jorvan lowered his head, opened his eyes, and stood up. He smiled at Rudiger and walked over to a stool to take a seat.

The cellar was not big, and there was not much free space, but Fra-Tepeu had cleared as much as he could for Jorvan, and had supplied some stools for sitting and blankets for sleeping. Even with the blankets, Rudiger couldn’t imagine sleeping on the hard floor. It had to be uncomfortable. But Jorvan needed to stay out of sight, and besides, the cellar was cooler than anywhere else.

“It has been a few days,” Jorvan said, motioning to one of the other stools.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Rudiger said, taking a seat. “Been distracted.”

“Is something happening?”

“Not really,” Rudiger answered. “Just...” He had to tell Jorvan, but talking about her was the last thing he wanted to do right now. It was bad enough he couldn’t stop thinking about her. “No, nothing.”

“I know Zandrue is gone,” Jorvan said.

“How?”

“Fra-Mecatl told me.”

Both Fra-Mecatl and Fra-Tepeu accepted that Isyar were not the creatures of evil their religion made them out to be. Fra-Mecatl even argued all references to Isyar in the religious texts were singular, referring only to the Dragon’s consort. However, both she and Fra-Tepeu still had a lifetime’s worth of prejudices to overcome, so they tended to stay away from Jorvan. Fra-Mecatl must have thought it very important to tell him herself and not wait for Rudiger to do it.

“I see,” Rudiger said. “Sorry I haven’t said anything. I just... It’s hard talking about it.”

Jorvan nodded. “I understand.”

The Isyar looked a lot better now than he had when they’d first arrived. By the time they’d reached the city of Ninifin, his skin had been blistering from the heat, and he had been delirious most of the time. It had caused a couple of unfortunate encounters. Rudiger and Zandrue had even been forced to kill a couple of patrol soldiers who discovered what Jorvan was. There was now a reward offered in the city for information leading to the soldiers’ killers. Rudiger didn’t want to think about what the populace was experiencing as the authorities searched.

But Jorvan was alive and safe. He was lucid again, and the blisters were gone. He still remained soaked in sweat at all times, and drank huge quantities of water. But it was an improvement.

Jorvan broke the uncomfortable silence. “Is there news of Corvinian or Darkness Worshippers?”

Rudiger shook his head. “No, nothing.”

Two months and they’d heard nothing. Fra-Mecatl and the others had taken a long time to accept the possibility of Darkers. “The priesthood is corrupt,” Fra-Mecatl said, “but they do not worship the Dark Lady.”

“We’re not suggesting they do,” Zandrue had said. “Just that there are Darkers in Ninifin.”

Fra-Mecatl had eventually accepted the possibility of Darkers from outside Ninifin finding a way into the country. But even with the added eyes she could supply, no word of Darkers had come forward. Rudiger was beginning to think they’d been wasting their time. They’d been tricked into coming to Ninifin. Corvinian wasn’t here.

“Perhaps I was wrong to push to come here,” Jorvan said.

“It’s not your fault. I pushed just as much. We should have listened to Zandrue.” Would she still be with them if they had? Was she all right? What if she was ill and dying? He took a deep breath and tried not to think about it.

“Tell me of the horses,” Jorvan said.

It was what they usually ended up talking about. More precisely, Rudiger would end up telling Jorvan what the horses had been up to that day while the Isyar just listened. There usually wasn’t anything else to talk about. There was something else today, but Rudiger wasn’t prepared to talk about her. So he told Jorvan of the horses again.