Chapter Twenty-Eight: It’s a form of torture where I come from.
“Am I dead?”
“Knowing what you know about the afterlife, what do you think?” I opened my eyes. I was lying on the floor of the character creation space. The Whisperer was there, smiling down at me.
She had a Big Gulp in her hand.
“Am I dying?”
“You passed out. Heather is healing you, but you took quite a beating.”
“I want a Big Gulp.”
I stood up. The pain of getting pummeled by Daisy was gone. I can’t believe she didn’t even use any of her weapons on me. This was all done with her feet and hands. The Whisperer handed me her cup. I took a sip; it was a Diet Coke.
“Oh, my gods,” I said, taking a long Jules Winfield pull on the straw. I swear my knees were buckling. “The water here tastes like bacteria. I had no idea you could make food for me.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it.” The whisper said. “It’s sometimes hard to adjust when getting treats from your old world.”
“It’s not like I’m in here very often,” I said after taking another long sip. “This is so fucking good.”
“We do have some things to go over.” She said as my eyes rolled back in my head. “You just hit level ten, kind of next-level shit; pardon the word choice.”
“Okay,” I said between sips. “Hit me.”
She waved her hand, and my sheet came up:
Character Sheet: Regan Summer
Height: 4 feet, 6 inches Weight: 85 pounds
Hair: Pink Complexion: Imperial Urban Fair
Aliases: Regan Moon, Luna, Slayoncé
Titles: Champion of the Unnamed God Origin: Earth Classes: Rogue: Level 3 Rogue Jobs: Assassin: Level 4 Base Attributes:
Strength: 19
Dexterity: 24
Spirit: 19
Charisma: 18
Intelligence: 24
Endurance: 11
Luck: 20
Unassigned Points: 13
Adrenaline Points: 360/360
Recovery: 10 pts/sec
Essence Points: 323/323
Recovery: 10 pts/sec
Vitality Points: 3086/3086 Recovery: 10 pts/sec outside of combat.
Skills/Spells:
Acrobatics Level 1
Appraisal Level 1
Black Rain Level 1
Arcana Level 1
Dagger Level 5
Disarm Traps Level 1
Face in the Crowd Level 1
Grappling Hook Level 1
Lock Picking Level 1
Little Things Level 1
Mace Level 1
Misfire Level 1
Negotiation Level 2
Nudge Level 1
One and Done Level 1
Parkour Level 1
Pick Pocketing Level 1
Powerful Strike Level 1
Shield of Draining Level 1
Short Bow Level 1
Short Sword Level 1
Sleight of Hand Level 1
Sneak Attack Level 3 Stealth Level 2
Time Dilation Level 1 Weapon Throwing Level 1 Racial Skills:
Night Vision
Hide in Shadows
Internal Navigation Gift of Tongues Divine Gifts:
Mark of Death Eyes of Death
Kiss of Death
“When you reach level ten, you get a new class and job.” She sipped her drink, looking up at my character sheet. “You also get ten points to spend to get you launched in the right direction.”
“We just did this, like what? Two days ago?”
“We would have done it anyway; I just figured you were already passed out from the physical trauma, so why not?”
“So, I get to choose a new class?”
“You will have access to new classes or jobs based on your skills.”
‘Okay then, lay them on me.”
“Cool beans.” She waved her hand at the character sheet:
Rogue (Dexterity, Charisma, Intelligence) +4 Bonus to each if selected
(Receive double attribute Bonus if selecting a Rogue Class job)
Let the Fighters fight fairly. Everyone knows that fighting dirty is the best way to ensure survival. And taking care of self along the way ain’t too shabby either. Thieves, Assassins, Spies, and even Bards, use their minds and charm as much as their arsenal of skills to stab, poison and rob their way to success.
Spy
You’re sneaky, morally flexible, and for some reason, people believe all your bullshit. You are an expert at blending in, sneaking around, finding stuff, and getting information. Put all your Rogue skills to work as an expert in subterfuge.
Skills:
Photographic Memory.
Spells:
Disguise Self
Charm Person Light of Truth
Confidence Trickster
The rules are for suckers. Let the lug-heads with the swords run around, bashing heads for coins. The smart person smiles and makes them hand over the gold. In a world where all the games are rigged anyway, you might as well ensure they are rigged for you.
Skills:
Forgery
Double Dealing
Spells:
Contentment
Duplicate item
Thief
You steal. You’ve been at this for a while, so why not take it up a notch?
Spells:
Feather Fall
Disguise Self
Ritual Crack Knock
Fighter (Strength, Dexterity, Endurance) +2 to each if selected
Whether you fight for coin, your god, your king, or because you’re just an asshole, fighters are the first to pick up a sword or rock to prove a point. Paladins, Mercenaries, Pit Fighters, Bouncers, and Monks are a but a few in this noble fraternity. It doesn’t take too many brains, in fact, a few too many hits to the head, and you might not have any.
Swashbuckler (Str, Dex, Cha)
You are one of the sly foxes of the combat world. Endless tales have been written about the exploits of mighty knights and paladins, but all the juicy stories are about Swashbucklers. Win the fight with skill, style, and charm.
Swashbuckler has three specialties, but each has the following skills:
Skills:
Sword Dance
Duel Wielding
Swashbuckler Specialties:
Duelist
You are not a fighter; you are an artist. The blade is your brush, and the enemy is your canvas. You fight with skill. No lumbering maces or ninety-pound swords for you. You use movement and speed to win the fight.
Skills:
Improvised weapon Spells:
Grand Entrance
Highwayman
The thief on the road. The lovable rascal. The Highwayman embodies true rebellion, or she can be a pirate of the roadway. Ride the highway and instill fear in those who dare travel through your territory. Strike hard and then vanish into the night.
Skills:
Mounted Combat
Spells:
Slippery Bastard/Bitch
Pirate
The scourge of the seas and waterways, pirates raid, steal, and do what they want in defiance of the establishment. No ship is safe, no port is secure, no maiden chaste.
Skills:
Sailing
Enhanced Looting
Mage (Intelligence, Spirit, Luck) +2 to each if selected
Warlocks, Wizards, Witches, and all schools of magic users. Working with your mind, spirit, and dumb luck to capture, manipulate, and use magic to wherever ends suit your needs. The Mage class is not just for nerds, but nerds are really the best at it.
Illusionist
Delight or terrorize. Illusionary magic is the art of manipulating perception. In the hands of an adventure, the ability to create illusions may be the difference between success or failure.
Spells:
Duplicate Self
Fake Wall
Invisibility
Blinding Light
Artificer (Dexterity, Intelligence, Spirit) +2 to each if selected
Someone in this crazy world has to do the actual work! Artificers craft, brew, cook, forge and invent all the stuff needed to keep the world running. Black Smiths, Enchanters, Alchemists, Beast Tamers and all the other working stiffs of the are included in this group. It doesn’t mean you can’t be tough, but an artificer is more about making the tools than using them. Great artificers are sought after the world over and paid handsomely for their work.
Alchemist
Not just a way to make money. No adventurer out there doesn’t have a whole stack of this stuff in their bag, ready to go. Brew potions and poisons or perform other fancy magic and science tricks!
Skills:
Poison Brewing
Healing Brewing
Transfiguration Brewing
Elemental Shift
“Yeah,” I sipped my drink as I looked at the list. “That’s a lot.” I glanced up and down at the list. “So, if I decide on a Rogue Class job, aren’t those skills and spells I can just pick up and start using? I mean the skills; I’d have to buy the spells.”
“Yes. You can start practicing the skills, and you will pick them up. Adding the job gets you a boost, which I didn’t mention. When you hit a multiple of ten in your experience, the job skills start at level three. You also get four points for your attributes instead of two.”
“Oh, okay then. I am clocking in at level three to start. Very nice. Kind of like the universe wants me to stick with Rogue?”
“Since you can gain the skills independently, it’s a balance thing.”
I had an idea of where I wanted to go when I had the chance to add a new class or job, but I wasn’t sure about what was being offered here. As excited as I was becoming the next John Robie in this city, I had to face up to certain realities. I needed the Fighter Class, and what happened to me today was just another example of how critical martial skills were. Being sneaky was good six days a week, but there was always that one day when I needed to fight straight up, and even with my new spells, I might be stuck in a pit.
“Tell me about the skills for the Swashbuckler Job.” “There’s two base skills.” She pointed with her cup.
Sword Dance
When activated, the skill utilizes strength, agility, and charisma, allowing the fighter to fight single or multiple enemies with a series of continuous motions. The technique favors a rapier or other lightweight blade. The fighter can land numerous blows on a single enemy, bypassing defenses through rapid movement. Defensively, the fighter becomes challenging to hit due to the same rapid movement boost.
While activated, the fighter’s dexterity and strength
are used to land hits and deal damage, but their charisma helps guide feints and dodges.
The percentage to land a critical hit on a single opponent is 10% per skill level per successful attack. Up to a total of 70%
Conversely, while activated, the skill will reduce the likelihood of a critical success from an enemy attack by the same percentage per level. Cost: 37 AP/Second
Duel Wield
Two is better than one. Use a secondary weapon when wielding a one-handed weapon with equal proficiency. Swashbucklers are constantly beating the odds, and using an offhand weapon adds to the style points required to look good simultaneously. Bonus: selecting a non-lethal weapon from the following list will give the fighter 150% proficiency.
Non-Lethal Weapons:
1. Buckler
2. Sap
3. Cloak
4. Metal Fan
5. Parrying Baton
6. Hook
7. Net
8. Tonfa
9. Whip
10. Boomerang
“If I pick a non-lethal weapon as my off-hand weapon, what level would it start at?” I asked
“You will get the main weapon at level three, so your non-lethal weapon would be at level four and a half.” The Whisper said, taking another sip of her drink. I had already blown through mine but could get a refill if I asked.
“That’s pretty good. What’s a tonfa?”
“It’s kind of like a police baton.”
“And let’s do a rundown on the specialties.”
“Here you go.”
Duelist:
Skills:
Improvised Weapon
Candelabras, chairs, meat hooks, chickens. Everything is a weapon. If you can pick it up, you can use it at the same level as your primary weapon. As a bonus, you can also throw it at the same level as your highest projectile skill. Discover the effectiveness of any object upon picking it up and examining it.
Spells:
Grand Entrance Level 3:
Make a dazzling display of illusionary pyrotechnics. Subjects in the target area will be subjected to flashing lights, illusionary smoke, and a blast of trumpets. Effects last one second per level over an area of effect of one hundred square feet per level. The caster and all partied members will not be affected.
Activation time: Instant. Target: Area Range: 100 feet. Cost: 96 EP Duration: 1 sec/level of spell Cooldown: 1 hour
Highwayman:
Skills:
Mounted Combat:
Similar to the mounted combat used by Paladins and Knights. The exception is that the Highwayman may also use a short bow without penalty on any mount.
Spells:
Slippery Bastard/Bitch Level 3:
This is an escape spell, plain and simple. Any lock, knot, or manacle can be undone or opened so long as it is used to hold someone captive. The escape chance is 5% per level. With a maximum chance of 90%
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Activation time: Instant. Target Self or Other. Range: 30 feet. Cost: 150 EP Duration: 1 sec/level of spell. Cooldown: 15 minutes
Pirate:
Skills:
Sailing:
The skills to operate all aspects of maritime as well as airship travel. This skill involves operation, navigation, and combat on all standard methods of transport.
Spells:
Water Breathing Level 3:
Breathe underwater for as long as your EP holds out. Ignore all adverse effects of water pressure while the spell is active. Duration: 90 secs/level with additional EP per second.
Activation time: Instant. Target Self. Range: Self. Cost: 213 EP Duration: 1 sec/level of spell. Add Cost
25EP/Second. Cooldown: 1 minute
“It’s kind of like House Hunters.” The Whisperer said with a chuckle. “Three to choose from, but you probably already know which one you want.”
That was the rundown. I looked at all the skill and spell combinations. Damn, Pirate looked good. I didn’t see myself on the high seas all that much, but what in the hells are airships? Indeed, assuming I live long enough, one of these would be rolling back around for me. Highwayman had the Slippery Bitch spell, but I didn’t see much of a need for mounted combat. I didn’t see myself using that any time soon, either. That left the first one.
“Duelist.” We both said at the same time.
“You can decide later what kind of blade you want to use and the off-hand weapon. Whichever kind you choose will be your specialty, starting at level three.”
“That just leaves me with thirteen points to distribute. Can you bring up my Base Attributes again?”
“Sure thing, kiddo. These are your base attributes after adding in the Fighter Class.”
Base Attributes:
Strength: 21
Dexterity: 26
Spirit: 19
Charisma: 18
Intelligence: 24
Endurance: 13
Luck: 20
Unassigned Points: 13
Adrenaline Points: 400/400
Recovery: 10 pts/sec
Essence Points: 323/323
Recovery: 10 pts/sec
Vitality Points: 3223/3223
Recovery: 10 pts/sec outside of combat.
This would be the most significant boost to my Base Attributes until I hit level twenty or got kissed by another god, so I wanted to ensure I had as solid a foundation as possible. The fighter class bumped me up a little, and I also added strength and dexterity with my dagger and new mace skills. Right now, I felt it was essential to get everything to twenty, and I started by adding enough points to get there:
Base Attributes:
Strength: 21
Dexterity: 26
Spirit: 20
Charisma: 20
Intelligence: 24
Endurance: 20
Luck: 20
Points unassigned: 3
I only had two points left after getting everything over twenty. I decided to split the leftovers between Charisma and Luck. Luck helps in combat and adds a lot to my VP pool, which I know I would like after the week I’ve had.
Base Attributes:
Strength: 21
Dexterity: 26
Spirit: 20
Charisma: 23
Intelligence: 24
Endurance: 22
Luck: 22
Adrenaline Points: 447/447
Recovery: 10 pts/sec
Essence Points: 330/330
Recovery: 10 pts/sec
Vitality Points: 3872/3872
Recovery: 10 pts/sec outside of combat.
“See ya!”
The world decided to come back online in stages. I could feel Amania’s healing magic flow through my body as I returned to my battered old self.
The notifications appeared in white on a black background:
You have passed level 20 Strength.
Grapple Level 1 Unlocked.
Grapple Level 1
The art of physically overwhelming another person. When activated, all upper body strength is increased to 125%, and grip strength is increased to 200% when used to grab and hold an opponent. Pressure points on opponents will glow visually.
Activation time: instant. Range: Self. Cost: 198 EP. Duration: 30 seconds. Cooldown: 6 minutes.
You have passed level 20 Spirit.
Heal Self Level 1 Unlocked.
Heal Self Level 1
Basic Healing spell that will instantly regenerate 250 VP and heal basic, non-life-threatening external injuries. Will stop bleeding effect debuffs.
Activation time: instant. Range: Self. Cost: 300 EP. Cooldown: 17 minutes.
You have passed level 20 Charisma.
Party Map Unlocked.
Party Map
You may now share a visual representation of your internal navigation with partied members. Each party member will be represented on the map along with any marked and targeted objects, waypoints, directions, or quest points the host can access. Range: 500 yards.
You have passed level 20 Endurance.
AP Health Level 1 Unlocked.
AP Health Level 1
Adrenaline Points may be converted to Vitality Points if health drops below 25% on a point-to-point exchange.
Activation time: Instant. Range: Self. Cost: 1 EP. Cooldown: none.
I fell back into the real world. My body was aching, but it was whole again.
“Well, I got my fill of pit fighting.” Heather was kneeling over me, biting her lip, and looked worried. I was on the sandy floor of the fighting pit. I wasn’t exactly moving yet.
I looked at the list of skills I picked up from reaching level ten: Grappling, weapon throwing, party map, and healing. I could have used a couple of those, like five minutes ago, gods be fucking damned.
“I’m ready to go again.” I croaked before coughing up a mouthful of blood. Heather tried to back off but caught a bit on her face. “Sorry.”
“I almost lost you.” She clasped my hand and kissed me on the cheek. “The protections switched off, and you collapsed.”
“How’s Daisy?”
“She’s in a lot of pain.”
“You know what to do then.”
“Of course.”
Heather shot up to her feet and stomped over to the orc. Two healers tried to help her, but their skills wouldn’t be close to a cleric from the Church of Purity. Heather pushed them aside and laid her hands on Daisy’s mangled knee. A golden, divine light radiated through her and filled the orc’s entire body.
After another mighty Orc scream, Daisy fell silent. Heather held her hand, whispering in her ear. She stroked the orc’s hair gently as the last healing magic did its thing.
She came over when it was done. She had a mangled dagger in her hand. She dropped in the sand next to me.
“That was a nasty piece of work you did on her.” She folded her arms and looked down at me. “She’ll be okay, but by the gods, if I weren’t here, she’d have lost her leg.”
I groaned and pulled myself up to my feet with her help. There was a smattering of applause in the arena. I wearily walked over to Daisy, who was now sitting up, rubbing her newly healed knee.
“I can’t believe you fucking beat me,” she said bitterly.
“You kicked my ass all over this pit,” I said, offering her my hand. “I only won because I played dirty.”
“It’s all dirty.” She smiled, taking my hand. “You used the tools you had to win. There ain’t no better way to fight a match.”
I helped her up to raucous cheers and applause and not a few more seat cushions thrown down in the pit as we walked out.
I got cleaned up in the locker room and got back into my dress, minus the sandals in the arena. I really didn’t want to go back out there and get them. By some miracle of magic, Nefaebella’s magnificent work on my hair managed to hold up, with just some errant strands, sand, and a little blood. Heather restored the odds and ends and returned it to working order for me.
“You look different,” Titus said. He met me at the base of the stairs. Despite the victory in the pit, he looked just as worried as Heather.
“I did just get my ass whipped in a fighting pit.”
“Something else,” he felt my bicep. “You leveled up.”
“Is it obvious?” I asked with fake self-consciousness and then smiled. “Level ten.”
He stopped us on the steps right before entering the lounge. “At five weeks? By the gods.”
I pulled him by the lapels down to me and kissed him. I wanted to activate Grapple, but I already scared the shit out of him one too many times tonight. I held him tightly, though, keeping his mouth on mine.
“What the is it about you?” He asked as we came up for air.
“Long version or short?”
“Short.”
“I’ve had many life experiences since I got here.” I shrugged. “And I just netted two thousand xp from the fight. I don’t have many skills yet, but my level is high.”
“Okay then.” He smiled and nodded. “You got offered a new class and job. What did you choose?”
“That’s a bit personal.”
“For the sake of the gods, tell me.”
“I got the Swashbuckler Class and the Duelist Job.”
He looked at me for half a second and nodded. “Good choice. You’re a rogue with high charisma, so it makes sense. Have you chosen a weapon yet for the sword dance skill?”
“I hadn’t thought about it too much.” I gripped my hands, trying to imagine different kinds of blades. “Either a rapier or a cutlass?”
“Lucky for you,” he grinned, his old charm warming the space between us. “I happen to be a bit of an old swashbuckler myself. But we need to get back to this party, or I will lose a lot of my clientele.”
We opened the door to a cheering crowd of partygoers. I’m guessing we put on a good show because I know more than half of them lost money on Daisy. Everyone pushed in, and compliments flew at me. Even if they lost money, no one seemed to mind.
Good job! Little Elf!
Love your hair!
I can’t believe what you did down there!
Not gonna fight you anytime soon!
Mostly stuff like that. Titus guided me to the booth. After getting their fix, the crowd quickly moved to the window when another fight started.
“Oh my gods!” Leoleth practically threw herself into the booth next to me and gave me the biggest hug of my entire life.
“I love you!”
“Did ok?”
“Hells yeah, bestie!” She kissed me on the cheek and then, to my surprise, leaned over me and planted a kiss on Titus. “We made eight to one!”
“Eight to one?” I said to Titus, my eyebrows raised. “Really?” “I don’t set the odds.” He said, his arms up.
“Ninety-six hundred GP.” Leoleth said, settling onto the bench.
“Good haul,” Titus said. “Don’t forget to tip the staff.”
“I won’t,” she said gleefully and bounced up, practically dancing to the bar.
“Is she, like, a package deal with you?”
“No,” I said as I pressed myself into him. I loved his massive size and his strong arms against me. “Leoleth is my sister, like Heather. Gem, on the other hand, might be part of the deal.”
“Tell me about her.”
“She’s a half-human, half-satyr.”
He chuckled. “That sounds complicated.”
“It’s not!” I slapped his arm. “She’s awesome. She is adventurous, beautiful…” I paused, looking for the right words. “And lusty.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s home, for now.”
“She’s a forest dweller, and you’re an urban elf.”
“Yeah, that sucks.”
“How are you planning on making that work?”
“I haven’t thought it all through.” I looked up at him. “She has her family that she will always be returning to.”
“It sounds like you will be a part-time thing. You okay with that?”
“Yeah.” I snuggled back into the crook of his arm. “If you are okay with it, then I will be too.”
He sighed dismissively. “There’s no sea without a storm.”
“You’re a highwayman, not a pirate.”
“Been a bit of both, sweety.”
My little brain flooded with wild, intoxicating images of the young and reckless Titus Sybo, shirtless and glistening in the ocean sun as he swung from the rigging of a pirate ship. I could see him laughing at death, leaping into the heart of battle full of piss and vinegar, cutting down enemies like a frenzied animal. His outlaw confidence would not be denied, collecting treasure. And, of course, there would be wenches, taverns full of them, drawn to his charm, eager to taste the danger, only to be left heartbroken when he left for ports unknown.
A knot of heat twisted deep in my belly, the idea of him being my own Jack Sparrow, the unbeatable rogue, making my breath catch. I wanted him. I wanted to feel that untamed energy, that raw power, and damn if it didn’t scare the shit out of me.
“You’re imagining me as a pirate right now, aren’t you?” he chuckled, his voice dark with amusement.
“Fuck you,” I muttered, totally lying.
He leaned down, his breath hot against my ear. “I want you to understand something,” he whispered, his lips brushing my earlobe before kissing gently. “I may be older, but my skills… my levels… they’re nothing short of legendary. I can bend and break anyone in this room if I want to.”
A rush of heat surged through my body. “Not me.” I gasped, my heart pounding in my chest. He was so gods damned sexy right now.
He pulled me in, his lips stealing a kiss like a pirate stealing a pouch of gold. A devilish smile spread across his face, and there was no trace of the beast, only the swashbuckler. He brushed his thumb across my lower lip.
The last fight ended, and the party wound down. Patrons wandered back from the window, many paying tribute to Titus with a brief nod, smile, or comment on how the night had gone. He smiled to each in turn, his arm around me as he greeted everyone with a Thanks or See you after The Festival.
As the crowd thinned out, my girls appeared in front of our booth, hands on hips, exuding sass and impatience. Leoleth arched a brow, smirking. “You in love or what?” Leoleth asked, tilting her head.
“I don’t know,” I said with a giggle.
Leoleth shot me a look and rolled her eyes like I’d missed the obvious. “Wasn’t asking you. Of course, you are. I’m talking to
him. What about you, handsome pirate man?” “We’ll see,” Titus said with a smile.
“Well, ‘see’ faster. Those big, meaty arms of yours need to let her go. We’re taking her home.”
“Kind of being rude, there girl.” I glared at her.
Heather chimed in with a grin, shrugging her shoulders. “You’re the one who came up with Squad Rules. We all go home together.”
“All good,” Titus said smoothly. “Maltz will get you all back safe.” He gestured to Ramin, who quickly flagged down one of the wenches.
“Thanks,” I said; it was a bit of a bummer; I’d been getting so cozy wrapped up under his arm.
Titus loosened his hold on me, turning to face me, his expression shifting to something more serious. His eyes locked on mine with a quiet intensity. “Come back tomorrow.” He smiled and scooted over. “We’ll talk about what you need. I’ll do whatever I can to help you, I swear.”
We staggered into the tavern at The Crying Jester after an hour-long ride through the streets of Ironstone. Leoleth had somehow managed to sneak a bottle from the bar. And, somewhere along the way, she’d lost her shoes. We were now barefoot and giggling like a pack of sorority sisters on spring break. When we pulled up to the tavern, all three of us were well and truly smashed. I was getting cranky since the two relentlessly teased me about Titus.
“You need to fucking stop.” I slurred. “I’m not being a slutty half-elf with him.”
“You want to have sex with that man.” Leoleth laughed, leaning against me for balance.
“But it will be by choice,” I said. “You two have been nothing but unfair to me. Just because I’m a half-elf doesn’t mean I will bed down with anyone that bats an eyelash at me.”
I leaned up against Heather as we opened the door. “And don’t go thinking you wouldn’t want to jump his bones if you were in the room alone together.” “Fair point.” Heather mused.
As we stumbled up to the bar where Yarnorra was working, I was transfixed by her fiery curls, which caught the candlelight and flickered like a flame. “Looks like ye’ve all had a braw evenin’.”
“Hi,” I said as I leaned onto the counter. “I don’t suppose you could give us three mugs to take to our room.”
“Aye, I’m supposin’ I could.” She said, but then a mischievous grin came across her face. “Maybe I could bring those up tae ye.” She even batted her eyelashes.
Yarnorra’s smile was pure invitation, laced with a playful glint in her eyes. She teased me with a slow, deliberate blink and the subtle pout of her lips. Oh, I wanted that. All of it, head to toe, and all the dirty parts in between. Even boozy, however, I knew it wasn’t a good idea.
“You,” I began, leaning in a bit too close, “have the most beautiful—”
Four hands grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me back from the bar. My girls had me on this one.
“I think we’ve had enough, sweety,” Heather said to her as she steered The Squad to the stairs.
“Another time, love,” Yarnorra said, her voice rich and sultry.
“That was completely unnecessary.” I drunkenly muttered as we climbed up the stairs.
“This is good for you,” Leoleth grunted as she hoisted me up another stair. “You are learning not to fuck someone just because they are easy.”
“I haven’t fuck you yet,” I grumbled at her. “You’re as easy as they come.”
“We’re saving it for a special occasion.”
Leoleth was giggling as Heather moaned with irritation. We tumbled into our dark suite. None of us were sober enough to realize the unlocked door should have been a warning.
“Shit,” Leoleth murmured, tripping over the same boot that she had left lying in front of the door.
“Regan, Fucking Summer.” A man’s voice drawled from the corner. I had my elf eyes, but they weren’t focusing too well in low light. I had to make a note of that.
I tried shaking the drunken fog out of my head, and to my surprise, it lifted. Heather had placed her healing hands on me and Leoleth. We glowed with divine light, revealing a man sitting casually in my airplane seat, cradling a cup of tea like he owned the place. He looked like a soldier with a buzz cut and a muscular build, clad in worn dark leather armor.
I was now completely sober. I waved and activated the mage lights, filling the room with brilliant white light.
“Gotta say, you girls know how to party.” And he had some half-smile? It wasn’t friendly. “Exciting stuff.”
He crossed his legs and took a sip. “What’s the deal with this chair?” He looked down at it with a frown. “It looks like some solid dwarven construction, but it’s about the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever sat in.”
I locked eyes with him. “It’s a form of torture where I come from. Who the fuck are you?”
“Me?” he tilted his head. “We got the same boss.”
“The Magistrate.” I sighed, this was going to suck. “Still aren’t telling me who the fuck you are.”
He stood, looking back at the chair with disapproval. “Gods, you even have straps on that thing.” He nudged it warily with his foot. “You use this thing to torture people?”
“Have a seat,” Leoleth growled, sober now, her eyes sharp as daggers. However, Heather was still plenty buzzed but had enough wits about her to take a couple of steps behind us. “I’ll be happy to show you.”
“Nah,” he said, turning around. “Another night, and I’ll show you how it’s done.”
I stepped closer, feeling just angry enough to do something stupid. “You are going to fucking die if the next words out of your mouth aren’t your fucking name.”
“Elion,” he said casually, raising his teacup. “That thing with the dagger and mace was some brutal shit, I give you.”
“You following us?”
“Just you.” He sighed casually.
“Why?”
“Because,” he elongated the word as if it were the stupidest question in the world. “You’re the competition.”
“I thought we worked for the same person.”
“What can I say?” He leaned in, not particularly concerned with personal space. Of course, I was a foot shorter than him, so I had to crane my neck to look up at him. He stared down at me with dark brown eyes. A small scar nicked the end of his right eyebrow from a fight that must have happened a long time ago. A look at his hands verified that he was a swordsman. “Doesn’t mean we ain’t competing. Same boss, different stakes.”
“Ok,” I folded my arms, which seemed a good reason to step back. “So, why are you here in my home?”
He glanced around the room like it was his first time noticing it. “Hmm,” he said quietly to himself with a slight nod. “Part messenger boy,” he said. “Part message.”
“Ok then, I’ll bite.” I was starting to get irritated. Okay, I passed irritation. I didn’t exactly know what it was I was feeling. But irritation was miles down the road from where I was at this point.
“The boss wants to know why you’re out getting blitzed and beating up on helpless bookkeepers instead of doing your job.”
“Not her business what I’m up to.” I glared at him. He stepped nervously to the side, and I countered, not giving him an inch.
“Again, just a messenger.” He held his empty hand up in mock surrender.
“I was given a quest with a clear set of parameters, and how I go about solving that quest is my own fucking business.”
“She also wants me to remind you of the possible scenarios surrounding failure.”
“Very much aware,” I said, exchanging a quick glance with Leoleth.
“Alrighty then, messenger boy part done.” He set his cup down on my writing desk with exaggerated care. “Now, fair warning: this is the part that might get... a little scary.”
Whoosh!
Before I could react, Elion vanished in a flash. Leoleth yelped as he reappeared behind her. A fistful of her hair was gripped in his left hand. With the other, he pressed a dagger against her throat. He pulled her with him into a corner of the room.
I leveled my gaze at him. “That’s not the sort of thing you should be doing.” I let the muscles in my body coil up, ready to spring and stepped toward the corner.
“Uh-uh.” He said as I started to move. “I said scary, not dangerous. This is just some…” He smiled and tilted his head playfully. “Theatrics.”
Leoleth trembled in fury. Heather was stomping her feet and muttering curses behind me. “Maybe the Amania Priestess can calm the fuck down?”
“Heather,” I hissed. “Please.” Heather stilled, but her eyes were on fire. Having her blitzed was not a good thing right now.
“See,” Elion cooed, a grin on his face. “This is just a little demonstration. I won’t be hurting Miss Icy Crotch here.” He gave Leoleth a peck on the cheek. She growled at him quietly. “But my grabbing her this way is part of the message. You see,
I’m a capable guy.”
“It would seem so.”
“And right now,” a darkness passed over his face. The smile was gone. “I am tasked with the same quest as you.”
“You already mentioned that.”
I started moving to his right, thinking I could activate Time Dilation and take him out.
“And…” he paused, leveling his eyes at me. “Don’t.” I stopped moving. “I know you have a few tricks up your sleeve. You might could just, do something to me here and now, but like I said, this is just a message.”
His stupid grin returned, and he released Leoleth and let the dagger clatter to the floor. He stepped out from behind her, hands raised dramatically. She hissed at him and stomped over next to Heather.
Elion casually reclaimed his teacup and settled back into my airplane seat with a disapproving grimace. “This chair’s just awful,” he muttered, siping. “It must’ve taken weeks to put this thing together.”
He took another sip of his tea while we stared at him. “So, here’s the message: We’re on the same quest but playing very different games.”
“I mean, the necklace and the guard... “He bobbed his head back and forth like he was saying different options. “But the difference is that you and I are not getting paid the same thing.”
“One of us isn’t getting paid at all.”
“Right you are,” he poked a finger up at me. “You don’t have a choice. I, on the other hand, am getting handsomely rewarded.” He held up his pointing finger. “One little problem, though. And you know what that is, don’t you.”
“There’s only one winner.”
“Yup.”
“Message received. Now fuck off..”
“There’s still one little part you should know about.”
“What’s the other part?”
“When I finish this quest,” He smiled, leaning forward in his seat. “I also get a bonus.”
“And what would that be?”
“A six-foot-tall Frost Elf, all my own.” “FUCK-YOU!” Heather raged.
The room filled with static as she summoned the Sword of Justice into her hands.
“If you even think of laying a hand on her, I swear by the Goddess!” She stood over him, her eyes filled with righteous fury. She pulled her arm back to strike.
“Oh shit,” Elion said quietly. “Okay.” He was still calm but dropped the cup and raised his hands. Then he added almost to himself. “Amania Priestess with a sword. That’s new.”
I moved between them, my back to Elion. I held my arms up to Heather. “This isn’t the time.” I placed a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eye. “I’m sure hurting him right now would be a very bad thing.”
“Fine.” Heather glared at him one more time before dismissing the sword. I had never seen her shaking with anger before. “It’s just theatrics,” she spat. “For now.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Well. That hit awkward fast.” He got to his feet and bent over, picking up the cup. He set it gently on the airplane seat.
“Sorry about that.” He pointed at the spilled tea and brushed nonexistent dust off his armor. “Boy, that chair will haunt me.” He muttered with one last look at the airplane seat.
“Anyhoo…” He let the next statement out in one long breath. “I’ll be tracking your every move and will do every possible thing I can to get that prize, which I will, and you will truly know what it means to feel the wrath of The Mistress Magistrate. And…” He took a deep breath and pointed at Leoleth with both hands.
“Got some crazy ideas in mind for you, Blue Lips.” Leoleth glared at him, folding her arms. “Same here.”
Elion sighed dramatically. “Exciting, isn’t it?”
Whoosh!