I somehow was able to sneak off without none being the wiser. Bu the way Jennifer was acting all sweet and innocent shot shivers up my spine. And not the good shivers.
I have always seen her as more of a niece that you can’t just not want to spoil her every day. Just like any uncle out there. Including the ways of making your siblings grind their teeth at what any uncle will teach their niece about how to behave in certain manners. Like how to entrap a boy with blue balls. Just to get info on her rival at school.
I was so proud of her when she first used it when she was 15, and the boy was practically begging her to let him be her slave. Not to mention that the cheerleader that was giving her shit became known as the school whore by the time she was done. Happy times.
Now, I am running for my life with the feeling that she is trying to use it on me. But not for information, but something more permanent. And I don’t really know nor think of what is down that road.
I have heard that here, on this planet, that some families have actually married in house. Since they consider such acts normal. But for me, oh hell no!
Now, where can I find a nice hiding place that she will not be able to find me?
Running down the roads of my kingdom (still am not used to saying it), I look for anything that I can use. And just when I spot something, I hear “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT UNCLE! I AM MARRYING YOUR SORRY ASS IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO! NOW GET BACK HERE AND MAKE ME YOUR WOMAN!”
I was torn with pride at her relentlessness at pursuing her target, and worry and fear that her target is me. How is that even possible?
As you can imagine, everyone was cheering her on as she chased me through the streets. Angie even had a megaphone out shouting the whole synopses of what transpired. Even how much of a taboo it is in the world we came from. Making the women even more cheerful in their cheering.
How the hell did this happen?
Tears began to pour by the bucketful down my cheeks as I try in vain to look for an escape route. But just as I was about to give up, I did something that I would have never done in a million years.
I turned to her and got down on one knee and said “Jennifer Rodrique! Will you become my faithful wife through sickness and in health, to death to us and beyond!?”
She tripped and damn near face planted into the ground before catching herself. She had this smile on her face that the others had when I said the ‘I do’ and ‘yes’ part in our ceremony. Speaking of which, why did that feel like I was being married off to royalty?
As if I had blinked, she somehow managed to close the gap between us, all of a block worth of distance, and I was now holding a buck 15 worth of woman weight.
I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE TO GETTING AWAY DAMN IT! ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS FACE PLANT, AND I COULD RUN AWAY TO THE DAMN VOLCANO!
The crowd began to cheer even louder as Aletha, Lily, Jessica, Tiffany, and Tigrina just nodded their heads as if it was the correct answer to the problem. But I could see daggers in their eyes as they all looked at Jennifer’s back.
Smiling like a child that was in trouble, I awkwardly patted Jennifer’s back. And not her butt. Definitely not her firm butt that will soon be mine that I now have no choice to receive.
I am so doomed.
I can just hear my friends back home. “Hey. Did you hear? Jeff went off and married his niece, that perverted incest bastard. I heard he even went to one of those countries that allow such things! I feel sorry for the embarrassment that he is giving his parents. Everyone knows that you are not supposed to marry your family!”
But then again, even they have seen my niece. Even fully admitted that she could be the next Mrs. America pageant girl if she tried out.
Speaking of pageants, wonder how many heart attacks I can cause from endorsing one? Hope I won’t start a war between spouses, but it would be totally worth it! Blackmail at its best!
But my good mood will have to wait until I can get my niece, or should I say, my soon-to-be wife, calmed down enough that I can actually enjoy that little fun. Why did today have to start out like this?
I hope I don’t lose too many reader-samas to this tiny predicament of mine.
But then again, if they picture the hottest babe they have ever seen with snow-white skin, long fire red hair and the perfect dark jade eyes the went down to her firm ass, then I think I can save the male reader-samas from ditching my life story.
At least she is in her bloody twenties now.
When she finally released me from her death grip (another thing that men can’t explain), my other wives no longer stared dangers into her, but me.
Uhm…
“We will talk of this later after we have talked with your niece dear husband” Aletha announced like she had just given me a small reprieve on my soon to be execution.
Getting up after waiting for a few minutes for them to leave, all the men gave me a thumbs up while the women just said “at least he knows when to just take it like a man. Wish my husband(s) would do that as well. Why did I marry such a little girl instead of a man?”
Talk about ouch.
Well, at least my citizens are happy about the situation. Wish I did not do this in front of the people. Now I have to marry her. Why did I teach her all my tricks? I bet she used one of them on me just now. The bitch.
A few days later, I had an agreement with the Dryads. They sent their most sexually mastered women to become my torturers, I mean ambassadors, so they can start trade routes and have settlers live here in the more forested areas plying their crafts. While we get the aforementioned group to help with getting what info we needed to take down the shadier elements that all cities tend to get.
Happy happy joy joy! Now I won't need Viagra for the rest of my life!
It was also the day I had to do the ceremony again to get married. And all I heard when I heard the music they played was “he bit the dust again! He bit the dust again! Hey hey”.
So by the time morning came around, I looked like a fucking skeleton from the amount of ‘time apart’ that she had to endure with me gone. Why do women always think that that much time apart meant more time together with less time than they declare?
At breakfast, my first round of wives is high-fiving Jennifer for a good job well done, while the Dryads were impressed that I was still alive. Nymph bitches.
Thankfully, Brunard came in to help me out with a “there is a human delegate here to see our King concerning trade and servitude to their king as they believe is his due to their King since King Trance is a human.”
Yay! A war on the horizon! Maybe I can get away from the nymphs who are trying to kill me in bed!
Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!
Wait. Did he just say that the human king wants me to become his pet or something?
Not really understanding what the hell the human king is trying to do, I just said that the human delegate can wait until I am ready. Which in my mind, was the last month of never near the equinox of go to hell.
From there, I just started thinking of what I really started thinking a few days into traveling here from the escapees from the slavers. Can I change my body to what I have always dreamed of looking like?
For that, I consulted the different healers about it. Who all pointed towards the Dryads like they were the ultimate body enhancement and mutators of them all. So I went to see them about what all they knew about the process. And I made damn sure that my six wives went along. Just in case I need them.
Yeah right. I will definitely need them. They even might become pregnant and leave me to rest at least a few more minutes before trying to kill me again! Should have thought of this sooner damn it!
It took a week to get out of the Dryads’ aura of kinky sex while also trying to learn how to rearrange my DNA into becoming something else. Major Dick, of whom I haven't mentioned in a while, had scabs on him from all the friction, while the girls had to be carted out with glowing smiles on their faces and distant looks of euphoria etched into their eyes.
Women are fucking scary! They even stated that they will make me pay for using them as such, but instead used whips to make me either go faster or change partners! I still have the whip marks to prove it!
By the time I wobbled (bent knees at a 45-degree angle while twisting my hips, so I don’t move my groin area) back into my office so I can catch up on my duties. I saw a note on my desk stating that the human delegates are stating that they are taking his absence as a direct insult to their king. Shrugging, I just a letter back saying that I don’t owe their king anything since he already knows I want nothing to do with him. Hell! He even paid me off to stay out of his way!
With that letter sent off to the dicks, I went over the finances. I actually was almost beaten by my wives the day after we got married when I tossed that item to the side without a care in the world. By the time they were done threatening my life, literally, I was huddled in the corner like a scared little child.
Talk about major losses to my man status.
By the time I was finished with everything, the Kingdoms finances increases by 13% and my armies new toys became a bit hit.
A shock baton that is DNA printed so that only the individual can use it, as well as thought imprinted to prevent them from misusing the things. The major offenders for the latter were the women. When I asked why they kept getting shocked by them, all they had to say was “I was just trying to use it against a sexual offender.” But when I asked where they tried to stick it, they said without a single shred of hesitation “their balls of course!”
All the men, myself included, cringed at that explanation.
The next toy that my army, especially my Honor Guard full of women, were the armors that I had made. Armor that was lighter than their normal armor and more flexible as well. I stole the idea of next-gen armor from Earth and upgraded it with the armor types from here. It is just a full body suit with kevlar armor under the lightweight metal link shirt for disguise.
When the men in the army saw them, they damn near jizzed themselves. Crying at how much chafing their old armors had when they found out that I padded the undersides with a polyester fabric. But it was the Honor Guards that I had the biggest problems with.
As soon as they found out that the armor actual contours itself to the individual instead of having to get refitted every month because of their assets, they practically ran out of the castle leaving it defenseless while their husband formal lawsuits against me for rape. They cited that because I gave them such good armor, they wore it while raping the hell out of their husbands. Some of my guards even 3-7 husbands that have scabs now as well.
I could only salute them for their valued war on keeping my guards happy. I am a male, not stupid.
So by the time I gave the shit stains their audience, they were frothing at the mouth in anger. I almost had Angie and Brunard put them down citing that the humans have become rabid. Not to mention, having the civilians checked to see if they have been exposed to whatever these humans have.
I guess I should say why I have been calling them humans, and not with racial familiarity.
I had finally completed my transformation in a male Valkyrie baby!
I transformed my right eye into an exact duplicate of my left. That was a bitch to do. I had to have the Dryads’ help in doing the full process since I damn near killed myself from sensory overload from the amount of pain I was in.
Then I had myself strapped down because I did not know how painful the wings part would be. Since I had the Dryads there already, I had them help out with what all I was trying to do. But ever since the pain of changing my right eye, everything else felt dull or numb. They even had me drink an herbal concoction that would help me sleep while they finished the rest. And finished they did. I have never felt so abused in my life.
My wives, who paid off the Dryads, had them enhance Major Dick into Emperor Dick. I quickly found out that I bulbed out in the center of my shaft which stretched my wives out far enough that I could not pull out until I finished. Hence why I now use a special type of lotion per act.
Next, they gave me ears that have all the animalistic qualities of the different animals on the planet. Wolves, cats, bears, etc. Then the bitches had them grow me some tails that they can play with, so they can butter me up when they are trying to get something out of me.
Hence why I now feel like I have been physically and sexually abused. And all I wanted was for my eyes to match and have wings. Ha-ah.
Looking back at the now dumbfounded humans, I can see what they wanted to ask. They even tried to force the librarian chick from Japan back to the human capital. But when they found out she was married to a wolf boy, they made crosses with their fingers like a child would do to stay away from the cooties.
That made all the members of both my army and guard laugh. Hell, they did not even try to hide it! GO HOME TEAM!
So you can guess the heated conversation we had when the talks finally started an hour late. The more I tried to stop them from laughing, the more they laughed. Since I was trying my best not to fall out of my seat when one of the dudes literally shit himself when Lilica’s husband Tony, the librarian and the wolf, growled at said pants shitter.
As the talks continued, they tried to blackmail me with the money the human King gave me. But that was immediately rebuffed when I told them that he paid me off to never get in his way concerning the war. They even tried to use the murder of the shit talking kid that I killed as a reason to become the human Kings servant. That also got rebuffed when I told them that he tried to force the issue by attacking me.
Since they could not use words nor threats against me, they brought up the war card. Thinking that they had the upper hand in that. That was quickly squashed when I had Annabelle point her beautiful guns at them and say hello. Of the 13 douches that were present, only one was allowed to live. I made absolutely sure that the one who shit himself was the one who returned back alive. I even gave him a letter to the king telling him how his people acted. Not to mention how his spokesmen shit himself.
After sending him off, I had the arduous task of telling my wives when they woke up from their sex-induced coma. The Dryads told me that they would be awake by high sun. I wish they lied to me about that because I was ready to shit myself as well while I was standing at parade rest giving them a rundown of what happened.
“Only you uncle. Only you can start a war like that and not give a damn.”
Puffing my chest out in pride like any male could. I even had a smile on my face like I was just given the best compliment any male could have ever received. Well besides his fling on the side saying that she is not pregnant yet. A few friends actually went out and partied just to celebrate the event. That is how they actually got caught. Since they were even more vocal when they did not know that their wives were the ones they were actually talking to.
Glad I don’t have that problem. At least I don’t think I do.
“We also had one of the Dryads in here to make sure that everything is fine concerning the weeks worth of sex nonstop. They even let it slip that we are indeed with child. But don’t think that you get to have the night off. We rather enjoy the new additions to your anatomy.”
I looked at Tigrina with shock and horror as the other giggled like they had just witnessed the most adorable thing in their lives. The one that all men know to just take it like the man they are. All the while trying to not let their fear induced state of mind run wild.
“The Dryads even said that our eating habits have begun sooner than what pregnancies normally happen, so they are guessing that we will have twins at the minimum” Aletha continued on while giggling with absolute glee at becoming a mother.
Goodbye cruel world! We will never meet again!
Hopefully, the war will start soon, and I can vamoose out of here.
“Oh! And by the way Uncle. We have decided on who your concubines can be” Jennifer stated like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“We have also determined who your seventh and final wife shall be” Tiffany announced while waving to the guards.
In came a bombshell 10 out of 10 Valkyrie with all the curves of a supermodel and the grace of a woman on the prowl. Her pure black hair with silver streaks (again! Why the silver in the hair for me!?) and silver eyes walked in.
The only thing out of place, besides her dress that was so tight I had trouble thinking how the hell she was still breathing in the damn thing, (sure it made her ass and tits that much more perky and made my hands twitch in the desire to touch them), was the fact that she had been placed in chains that were meant for people in prison.
I was just about to ask why she was in chains, when she growled out “if he even tries to ensemenate me, I will cut off his balls!”
Ah. No wonder they made her into the new addition for our bed. Need to make sure I am wearing a cup from now on.