For the next several months, all seven of my wives mood swings have been getting worse by the day. Senorita Hellstrom (yes. That is her actual name), my new wife, my new Valkyrie wife that was sent to assassinate me, is also going to give birth to my child.
That involved lots of alcohol in my system, and drugs in her to make her more open to her sexuality. That was the Dryads decision. Now as punishment, they got to be the nursemaids and wetnursed for my wives. And they absolutely hate it.
Score!
Don’t know why, but making women angry is a personal past time of mine. I even had over 30 court orders on Earth stating that I could not be within a 500-yard range of them. Those were fun. And all I did was make fun of their makeup that looked anywhere from delicate maiden to succubus overlord.
Ah! Those were the days!
Now… well, now I am off to the front lines of the war that is about to start any day now with the human kingdoms. My concubines, Rita, a celestial elf, and Melin, a celestial wolf, (why they thought celestial in front of their races would make them different is beyond me) were all set for travel. I just had to figure out a way of not having to teach them who their master is while I am gone. But from the looks I am getting (the starry-eyed ones that most men try their best not to be around), I know that it will be impossible to stop. They even had my wives’ blessing on the matter! Even in written form and a fucking stamp included!
How the hell can I go against that?
Well, whatever. Might as well milk it for all its worth. And since I am going in this bouncy ass carriage that will make my ass numb, might as well make use of that too. So I ordered that there be cushions on the bench to make sure that my ass does not go numb as I tend to their needs.
All the women laughed at me for doing my duties that their Queens made sure I followed. The males, however, were planning on my demise via the bounciness of the carriage. Too bad they don’t know what I plan to use their idea against them.
All day they heard both Rita and Melin scream out in bliss (or were their screams the hateful bliss type? Meh. Whatever. Queens orders are Queens orders). And when we stopped for the first night, their hate-filled gazes turned into ones of respect. I guess they never thought about using one of these things as such.
The women, however, now sported the hate-filled gazes as they tried in vain to stick their shock sticks into their husband's asses for trying to suggest they do the same. They tried to use the line of “but you always wanted to try something new! Why not try this!?”, but was soon graveling at their wives’ feet begging not to be put on a 1-year sex reprieve.
I laughed so hard that I pissed myself as I ate my dinner. Good thing Rita knows water magic so I can clean myself. Guess having concubines isn’t that bad after all.
The next day found me doing more of the same as before, but with someone else that I did not know was even in the carriage with us. That was because I still was not used to my new senses and I was blindfolded until they pulled it off. Before me was a succubus ridign me like a cowgirl with an angel all tied up for use on the ground.
Blinking in confusion, I decided the questions could wait. Why should I put aside an angel that has been prepared for me with her eyes having such a hungry look? I mean, she even let out a moan of all moans as I entered her. She was so warm and tight, that I finally understood why women say that the gates of heaven are between their legs.
By the time I was finally done with my duties for teh day, I was told that the succubus’, Tila in particular of whom I had the pleasure of seeding her garden, was one of the new treaties that my wives made so that their charms did not sway my mind. Which was a good thing since I doubt any red-blooded male would say no to one. Much less over 500 of them in the same room as me.
The angel, Alita, is actually a fallen angel who was kicked out of her home for trying and failing to get her kind to open up to the other races. All her family members, all 597 of them, now have a treaty with me without me knowing about it (fucking wives and their abuse of power. But at least I got laid for it. So a win win in my eyes). Apparently, when I took over the kingdom, we both gained treaties with none the wiser. They just ironed out the finer details of the treaty. Hence an angel concubine.
I just hope that I don’t have a concubine for each of my wives. For that would suck balls big time. I doubt any man could satisfy 14 women in a nights tryst. Any who say they can without help, I say prove it. If you can, TEACH ME YOU BASTARD AND STOP HOLDING BACK ON ME!
That night, I broke out my new weapons of choice that I was very familiar with. I had everyone in the army (close to 15,000 people) line up in a row of 40 after I gave them all a rifle, pistol, ammo, and a night scope for said rifle.
Think about what a M16A4 and a FN PS90's child would look like and that is what the rifle looked like. But instead of a short barrel, the barrel is roughly 23 inches long. Just long enough for close quarters combat, and a bit of sniping if the situation calls for it.
The pistol is a Colt .45 with extra power to equal a Desert Eagle. Enough said.
It took all night to give them the ins and outs of the weapons while at the same time making sure that they understood how dangerous the weapons can be. Even then, I had a few casualties because people kept taking off their damn safeties. Ha-ah.
Taking the next few days and nights like I have been, I was absolutely ecstatic about reaching the war area. I had drilled into my army personnel the importance of maintaining their equipment and how to stay in formation. And since the ammo is self-restoring do to a mage back home, I had not a want in the world for ammo. YAY!
Stepping up to the area that will be the main resting point, General Brunard (who is still sulking like a girl who was told no by her ultimate crush) began to bark orders like a madman trying to get some sort of revenge. Tents were set up in record timing, including the d-fac and medical wards.
It was now near sunset when the first of the enemy nation began to arrive. Setting up about 3 miles away from my army. Thank all the saints that I trained all my army people about stealth attacks because that was exactly what I was about to command to have happen. As some of my favorite supervillains in some of the books by the same author loves to say, “if you are not cheating, you are trying.”
I had the people going out put on the silencer to kill off as many of the officer and high command structure for as many silent kills as they could before getting caught. Even going as far as to capture anyone they deem having the information needed to either stop the war cold or ( I hope it will never come to this) tell us any and all traitors that might pop up after today.
Heaving a heavy sigh of the inevitable, I ordered my Night Phoenix’ to prep up for a night attack. All five of them (all males) nodded their heads before heading off to get their camo and stuff on. I had actually ignored my wives’ protests in making this unit. But I knew from past experience that a unit like this is required by any nation. Someone had to do the dirty work at a moments notice. So I had made a deal with these five individuals that I will only call upon them when our kingdom was in absolute need of them.
Like now.
I just hope that I don’t turn them into the creature I am today. I still doubt anyone knows the truth about why I kept these demon-like eyes. And I want to keep it that way.
2 hours after night fell, I watched as my stealth unit raced out into the no-mans land. I lost sight of them when they got to about 300 yards out. And that was only because I knew what I was looking for. I had some serious doubts that the opposing army would even see them until it was too late to stop them.
Turning back to Brunard who also had a look of pity for the men I just sent out, he just gave a nod of understanding before walking away towards his tent. I watched as he slapped his cheeks with both hands before putting on a smile that any lunatic that is about to rock a woman’s world. I could only laugh at it all.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Here he is about to get laid while five men are about to commit murder and most likely die in the process. Even I could not get it up for any fun tonight. I seriously doubt I will any time soon.
Come morning, I went to see the men I sent out and saw that two of them were in rough shape from a confrontation they got into. And by pure chance at that. Form the reports they gave, they were able to capture 3 of the 7 remaining female summoned heroes. And that was only because they were caught bathing.
Perverts for the win, I guess. Puts a whole new meaning for the phrase washing away the sick feeling of having perverts looking at you.
Never really understood that one. I mean, I can guess at what they mean by it. But when women tend to become more perverted then men, it is hard to see the point behind that.
After they gave me the run down of killing all but 12 fo the original 44 officers and generals, I went to see the newly caught heroines. Can they be called heroines is they have yet to be engaged in a battle of any kind?
Reaching the tent that housed them, I opened the flap and saw that they had week old bruises. Raising my eyebrow, I gave them a questioning look.
“Yes! We know! You told us to watch out for the bad elements that were summoned by King Shit For Brains, but what kind of girl doesn’t fall for a bad boy? I am just glad that we were able to fight off all the rape attempts. Even saving a few of the castle maids from the rape attempts made by the remaining males. After you killed Sojie, the rest have been trying to one-up the others to take his spot.
“So what do you plan to do with us? Use us as pleasure toys? We heard from the ball-less freak that you changed yourself to become less human in order to fit in with the beasts that you now surround yourself with.”
Wow! That was a lot of information with only a raise of an eyebrow! Will that work on my wives?
“All I will say is that if you girls want to live a life without having to do such nonsense, then I will gladly let you girls enter my kingdom that I am now king over. But be warned. My 7 wives will skin you alive if you all try to entice me. They have sent 4 concubines with me in hopes that they will kill anyone who tries to bed me at night. The bitches! But whatever.
“The choice is yours if you want to have a bit fun with a furry husband like your friend Tina is doing. Last I heard, she now runs the city library that is 15 stories tall with her wolf boy toy that she abuses every chance she gets. The place reeks of sex every other day. Oh! I also heard that she is expecting triplets.
“Or you can just run along to where ever you fancy takes you. Become adventurers or whatever. All I ask is that you all don’t try anything funny with the civilians.”
They were all gaping at me like a grew a second green head or something.
“Tina is married to a fucking wolf and is pregnant? That bitch! I knew I should have left first to get my hands on some furry ass when I had the chance! Tell me King Ass, is wolf dick better or is the fox dick better!?”
“I refuse to answer that question on the principle of being a straight red blooded male. I refuse to take that particular bullet for the team. But you can always ask Tina if you are curious? A friend of mine keeps laughing at Tina for trying to get a fox stud into her harem. Quite the comedy show really.”
All the girls looked at each other and had a quick 2-second conversation before turning back to me and say as one “When can we leave to have our dreams of hunks on a beach come true!?”
That actually made me feel sorry for the men that might be getting these girls’ attention.
I informed them that after this up-coming massacre, I will personally take them back to my kingdom for them to start their dream team. Nodding their heads with eyes that makes every maniacal lunatic look sane by comparison, I left to attend the meeting that should have started a few minutes ago.
As soon as I entered the tent, I was ambushed by hundreds of different questions about what their favorite types were. Each one trying to see who had the better chance of one as the mistress. Not the male having a mistress type neither, but the mistress as in “yes mistress, I will get that done for you mistress.”
Coughing once into my hand, I had them tell me what all they have learned from the stealth team. I got a lot of boos from that. On the outside, I gave them all a stern look, while on the inside I was doing a jig. Glad I had the Honor Guard who followed me here bring the three girls and had them stand outside so they could listen in on what I knew was going to be a questionnaire.
I heard giggling from outside the tent, as did the other from the looks of confusion they had planted on their faces. But I just kept the speaker speaking as to muffle the giggle-fest that was happening outside.
After 2 hours of being told that the opposing army was now in a state of unrest, I had the stealth team give a rundown of what they knew of the enemies locations and areas of interest. Once that was brought to light, I knew that these humans were dumb as a bunch of rocks. Who the hell puts all the higher echelons of an army in the fucking middle group with a mandatory 100 yards of clear space from their damn troops? That is just asking to be assassinated! Not to mention that it is now so fucking easy to kill them all off now!
Trying to get a hold on my temper, I made a strategic retreat to my tent and had the rest on the evening plowing into my concubines.
Stress-free, I went with the stealth team this time around to see if what they told me was true. If the enemy really did have this as their camp setup, I was going to lose my shit and kill anyone who could not tell me an actual reason as to why they were just that stupid. And by killing them, I mean that I will let eh women have their fill of bloodlust as they let the enemy know what it feels like to have something shoved up their asses.
Geneva Convention be damned. They don’t have the right to live if they are that bloody stupid.
Getting to the free zone, I laughed like a frenzied lunatic with his favorite toy. I even went as far as calling the men who came to put me down a bunch of bitches with no balls (and that is me rephrasing it to be polite for the squishy eared people reading this). What I actually said caused the enemy to get a whole new reason to fight me. Glad I can still make people angry enough that they can’t think worth a shit.
Which is good since I was now in the process of getting my ass chewed out as we laid down suppressive fire at all the individuals who thought that they were being a hero for their country. One group of ours came in and said that they have captured a quarter of the people here. Including the other 4 remaining heroines.
Once I was done getting my balls stomped on, smashed with a mallet, and taken to a blender, I took the heroines to the tent that the other three are now currently scouting out possible recruits for their harems. Clipboards, name tags, and tests to show the girls what they needed. One look at what they were doing, the other girls in their jealous rage about not sharing, ran in to get their fair share. While I ran in the opposite direction post haste.
One fight down, more to go. But now that we have a reprieve, I now get to face the ultimate boss fight – my wives.
Guess who won that fight. Whoever picked me, you suck. When has a man EVER won against a pregnant woman? And I lost 7 times out of 7.
Then I met 3 more nemeses’. And they were even named bosses to boot!
Racheal the Siren lvl 950
Yuna the Sphinx lvl 989
Luna the Celestial Elf lvl 944
As a measly lvl 4, I am so doomed! Why can’t I fight a creature my level? That would be so awesome right now.
As it turns out, the seven concubines that I have are my wives personal handmaids. In which they are just making sure that they will be loyal to me, and my children in the years to come.
This is so unfair! They don’t even have Viagra here blast it! And I have already been told that I can’t use the Dryads as my sex pill since I can’t stop rutting around them. But at least I did not get my nuts chopped off last time since I used and abused them instead of the Dryads. Hurray!
And how the hell did they get a Sphinx to play nicely? I mean come on! This is not Egypt! And I sure as hell am not answering some stupid riddle that it wants to ask. Glad I have yet to bring Scrabble here.
After a few months of being a scratch post, I was finally able to get back to my man cave and make more goodies for my people here. Like making a pool table for when I can get Brunard, Jacob, and Harold together for a few beers. Last time the three of us were in the same room, we were so fucking bored that I said that the next time they visited, we would do something more fun than just sip some whiskey.
I even had an old school distillery in the man cave so I can make that good ol’ moonshine. Oh yeah. Gigidi gigidi.
Later that week, I was in the know that some of the noncombatants of the Demonic kind are now living in the volcano. Why the hell nobody said anything until now is being me. I even had a meeting with a person named Lilith. That name froze me in my place. I hope to hell that she is not the same person that I think she is.
Lilith was just like any Bible would claim she looked like. Long blonde hair with a strawberry tint to it. A lithe body that promises untold pleasure. Hell, I bet that she could move her body in such a way that all the blood from the reader’s head would head south. Male or female. If the women reading are into that.
Not judging, but can I watch? Promise to keep quiet.
She was and was not. She knew of what I was talking about, and that she knew Adam. But she claimed that Eden is what Adam like to call his bed, not an actual place. She was even curious as to why I had all the women in my castle with cattle prods ready to stab me with them. I just said that it was an insurance policy to keep me alive and her safe.
Like hell was I going to let my wives down.
After talking with her about what my wives promised her and her’s, I was actually impressed about what the demons had to do in order to live here. They had to help police their own kind by some of them joining the police force, some even wanted to join the army, and almost all the Succubus’ joined my Honor Guard.
I am sooo going to hell. Pun intended.
Not long after, I was informed that a Raphael wanted to meet with me in a few weeks. All I can think about is ‘why the bloody hell is all these biblical names are popping up all of a sudden.” I had a missive sent to the angel dude saying that I will prepare the best drink I can make while playing some pool while we talked. Hope I don’t kill him with the moonshine that I now have 13 jugs worth of the stuff.
When I went back and told my wives what all I had done today (for some reason, I get in trouble when I don’t inform them of my daily tasks), they gave all those involved with me talking with Lilith a pay raise and told me not to let Raphael bully me into something stupid.
Why do I feel like a child being guided along in life by his mother? Or mothers in this case? I mean, I can be an adult when I want to be you know.