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Part 28: Why did the chicken cross the road?
“I'm sure I have seen you somewhere before,” speaks the golden chicken to the Seeker. “Have you ever been to Kentucky?”
The Seeker frowns. “Kentu--? What? No! We met at the Red Ditch Inn and jumped into The Great Shift together.”
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The chickens thoughtful face lights up. “Ah... Yes... Right... That was before I got my new form. I am no longer just a mere 'bigger chicken', now I am Widofnir, the golden rooster.”
SPECIAL FORM
Widofnir the golden rooster
9 Divine Protection
6 Vitality
8 Speed
-7 Luck
4 Agility
Attributes: Immortality, Shitting Gold, Narcissism, Bad Luck
Weakness: Twigs, branches and sticks
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“With this form, I am now invincible,” speaks the golden rooster. “Nothing can touch me. Nothing can hurt me. I am now a literal god!”
A twig suddenly falls from the crown of the world tree and lands on the floor right next to him. The startled chicken jumps into the Seekers arms, shrieking:
“Ohmygawd! Twigs! My only weakness! Save me!”
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The Seeker and the chicken share an awkward eye contact for a moment, while they hold the golden rooster in their arms.
“Didn't you just say, you were invincible?” asks the Seeker with skeptic eyebrows.
“My golden body can't be destructed by any force or material, except of wooden sticks. If a twig even touches me, it's game over!”
“Does it need to be a specific tree? Like Mistletoe or an enchanted object or something?”
“Nope,” denies the chicken. “Any tree will do.”
The Seeker takes a look around at the tree-house at the top of the world-tree, they are standing on.
“But... If sticks are your only weakness, this is literally the worst place to live. How did you even end up here? And since when do you have this golden form?”
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“It must have been around three years ago, after we took the leap of faith,” recounts the chicken.
“Three years?” interrupts the Seeker surprised. “This only happened like two months ago...”
“I made it through Checkpoint V and stood in front of a giant maze,” continues the self-absorbed chicken undeterred.
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“A fearsome lion, with the wings of an angel and the face of a woman guarded the gate. I fought the monster with just my bare wings and wrestled it to submission. It asked for mercy, so I let it live and entered the maze”
The chicken lied. In actuality, when he saw the sphinx, the chicken lost an egg and ran around in panic. The sphinx tried to calm him down but was unable to stop the screaming chicken from storming through the gate right into the 'labyrinth of the mind'.
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“In the maze I met a rat with a mustache, who sold me a black book. Ever since then I have been truly red-pilled. Did you know that the earth is actually flat?”
The chicken bought the 'conspiracy program' and purchased the 'Flat earth conspiracy', the 'Reptilian conspiracy' and the 'Illuminati conspiracy' DLCs.
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A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Then there was this giant monster with hoofs for feet and the head of a bull on a human body. Let's just say, he couldn't get up anymore, when I was finished with him.”
The chicken never resolved his PROBLEMS. He never stopped running away. In fact, they are still haunting him, whenever he tries to get some rest.
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“When I made it out of the maze, some idiots questioned my beliefs. To defend them, I jumped into the red swamp below the rainbow bridge. I would always post my pamphlets on the columns, down in the ditch. But those damned Muds took them down every single time!”
“Muds?” asks the Seeker with raised eyebrows. “You mean the Trolls from the Mud?”
“Those damned Muds are taking down all my posts from the Red Ditch! Just because I am speaking the truth! Why is no one Listening, when I am trying to tell them, that the cabal wants to destroy the world!?”
The chicken was thrown out from the Red Ditches and Sub-ditches of the swamp land valley between the maze and the world tree. He was banned for violently accusing others of being bots and government agents.
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“All sorts of people try to silence me,” speaks the golden chicken. “But no matter who, no one can stop me from spreading the truth! They tried to make me doubt myself, by asking questions, such as 'Why would anyone deliberately bury fake bones?' or 'Where is the evidence?'... But then, when I was just about to abandon my faith, my body transformed and I received a new form. The next step of my evolution. I turned myself into Widofnir, the golden chicken. And with my newfound power of narcissism, no question could ever again shatter my beliefs, because they are now part of my golden identity.”
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'This chicken means trouble,' thinks the Seeker silently. 'I should just make up some excuse and leave him behind.'
The Seeker looks at their watch. “Oh Heavens! I haven't noticed the time... I think they are all waiting for me down--”
“YOU NEED TO TAKE ME WITH YOU,” interrupts the golden Rooster with urgency in his voice. “My entire life here is built on a fragile construct of lies upon lies. They believe that I will lay a golden egg, but when they find out that I can't lay eggs, they will grill my wings and call me Kentucky fried Chicken! I need to get away from here, before they find out.”
“Why should they think that a rooster lays eggs?” asks the Seeker confused.
“Well... it's like--”
Before the chicken finishes his sentence, he is suddenly interrupted by Heimdall, the guardian of the higher mind. He opens the door from inside the hole in the tree bark and shouts:
“Widofnir! Quit idling around! The Queen wants to see you.”
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The Seeker and the chicken follow the guardian down the stairs. They enter into the throne room, where the Great Spirit of Nature has a conversation with the Mysterious Stranger. He carries a sad smile on his face. She wipes away tears from her watery eyes.
“I know exactly why you are asking me down here,” rambles the chicken defensively, tearing both the Stranger and Nature out of their conversation.
“But please, just give me a bit more time. I will lay that golden egg soon. It's just that some unforeseen circumstances have hindered me from doing so. You see... The Repitolids--”
“Silence,” shouts the annoyed Queen massaging her temples. “Your chattering, causes me headaches! You will join those two on their journey to the Akashic library! Since you told us about how you heroically crossed the abyss and climbed Axis Mundi, guiding them should be easy.”
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“So... You are just letting me go?” asks the chicken in relief.
“You still owe me a golden egg,” reminds Nature. “One day you will return here and if you by then won't have a golden egg with you, I'll feed your grilled wings to my dogs Geri and Freki.”
The dogs sitting left and right from Nature's throne drool, while staring at the chicken.
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“Yes... Of course... You will get your promised golden egg,” speaks the chicken with a bowed head, while thinking in silence:
'Those idiots will never see me again...'
The guardian of the world tree hands his horn to the Mysterious Stranger.
“Take the Gjallarhorn. When you blow into it, my loyal horse Gulltoppr will appear to carry you to your desired destination. This steed shall support you in the conquest of light. When you ride his back, you can pierce through DARKNESS itself.”
“Darkness?” asks the Seeker, who listened in on the conversation. “You mean that in a metaphorical way?”
“Do you remember, when we fought against those demons, who were corrupted by a dark substance,” asks the Stranger the Seeker.
“The satyrs from that old ruin were corrupted by the DARKNESS. And we are on a journey to find a cure against this DARKNESS. We are here to burn away all shadows with our illuminating sword of Truth and Love. Where there is DARKNESS, we bring LIGHT. We bring the SUN into NIGHT.”
“And what exactly is this DARKNESS?” asks the Seeker. “Where does it come from? How do people get corrupted by it?”
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“It's a metaphor for NIHILISM,” responds the Mysterious Stranger.
“Which is born from the wound in the soul of Humanity, the scar in our collective consciousness. The DARKNESS lies in the the depths of the great abyss. From there, shadows flow out and corrupt everything it touches on the surface. By opening the book of humanity, we will set events in motion, which will lead up to you climbing Axis Mundi. And once you made it to the peak, you will find your answer. An answer, which can close the wound within you and thus in the collective as well.”
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“You really think, you can do this?” asks Nature the Stranger. “You really think, you can make the impossible possible?”
The Mysterious Stranger grins. “We will find a way.”
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For a second, the bright smile of the Stranger warms up the heart of Nature. She blushes and looks away. With a movement of her hands, she opens up a new Portal in the Throne room. The gateway has ancient letters inscribed on the stone saying 'CHECKPOINT 6'.
The Stranger looks at the Gjallarhorn, that Heimdall gave him. “Seeker, Chicken... It will be a long journey until we make it to checkpoint 7. I hope you are prepared.”
“Yes,” speak the Seeker and the chicken in unison.
The Mysterious Stranger blows into the horn. Its sound thunders through the hollow room in the world tree. It echoes outside, through the entire valley, through the entire landscape. Everything vibrates, everything shakes and trembles. The entire realm of imagination quakes at the sound of the Gjallarhorn. Its sonic wave even trickles through into other realms, signaling the beginning of something new.
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A white horse with a golden mane appears in the throne room. The Stranger takes the rains, the Seeker sits behind him and carries the Chicken on their head.
For the first time, the Stranger takes off the hood and reveals long hair and golden armor hidden behind the blue robe. He unsheathes a glowing sword of light with his right hand.
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He smiles one last time at NATURE, before storming with the white steed towards CHECKPOINT 6.
TO BE CONTINUED