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Part 34: It's okay to be different
After fulfilling another side mission the Seeker and the Stranger return to the farm.
“I hope we finally move on from those generic side-missions,” complains the Seeker.
“Seriously, if another NPC tells me to find a missing lamb, I'll punch them in the face, even if that means, I end back up at Checkpoint 6.”
“Don't call them NPC's...” speaks the Stranger, shaking his head.
“This term is derogatory and ignorant.”
“But they are literally NPCS!” argues the Seeker.
“Like the sheep for example... She always repeats the same three sentences, whenever I walk by her. The cow always walks around in a circle and brabbles something religious. And the Donkey... The one from the farm... I literally watched him glitching into the floor not long ago.”
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“If you define NPCs by being programmed to follow limited patterns, then YOU and ME are also just NPCS,” points out the Stranger.
“We all are programmed. We all follow patterns. Just because your programming is different, that doesn't mean that you are in anyway better. Also everyone has the capacity of waking up. So don't look down on others because they are in a different stage of their development. You know, thinking of yourself as superior to anyone, IS ALSO PROGRAMMING. The entire idea of comparison is based on an ancient program, that still keeps us stuck in a limited mental pattern. The Desire to be superior and the fear of being inferior.”
“Dude... Chill out...” interrupts the Seeker.
“I am talking about the farm animals... You know that they are NPCs, do you? They were literally programmed to only play a little role in this story. They have like three lines of code...”
“Oh...” speaks the Stranger.
“I was actually speaking to someone else... Sorry for the confusion.”
“What the hell...?” utters the Seeker surprised.
“Now that you mention it... Sometimes it feels as if the things you talk about aren't really directed at me. Like some things you say, are so out of context with the things that happen around us. Like you talking about Oneness and the limitation of language, while I am fighting against some god-damn skeleton warriors...”
The Stranger grins.
“Let's just say, I am talking one level higher up. Sometimes, it's even two levels at once. Imagine ground level is the fictional story, like me talking to you, the Seeker. Next level is talking to the Reader. And one more higher up is talking to the Reader of the Reader, which is soul or spirit.”
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“And what comes next?” asks the Seeker.
“Talking with the universe,” grins the Stranger.
“Which is Awareness. Attention and Intention. Consciousness. Which is whole.”
Suddenly something falls from the roof exactly in front of the Seekers feet. A white drop. The Seekers boot gets dirty. The startled Seeker looks up. Four gray pigeons start laughing. A fifth one hides his face.
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“Hey! Watch Out! You almost hit me,” shouts the infuriated Seeker.
“It wasn't me,” shouts Pigeon Number 5.
“It wasn't me either,” shouts Pigeon Number 4.
“I didn't do it,” speaks Pigeon Number 2.
“It was Pigeon Number 3,” speaks Pigeon Number 1.
All eyes look at Pigeon Number 3.
“Hey! What? No! It wasn't me!” denies the accused Pigeon.
All Pigeons laugh at Pigeon 3.
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Suddenly the Seeker recognizes the Pigeon in the Middle.
“Wait... I almost forgot about you. Weren't you at the Great Shift? What about your new form? Why are your feathers gray again?”
“Let's just say, I don't wanna draw any unnecessary attention towards myself,” responds Pigeon 3.
“Oh look,” shouts Pigeon 1, pointing at the Stranger. “Number 3 is friends with the Heretic.”
“Isn't that the human, who shooed away the crows?” reminds Pigeon 4, pointing at the Seeker.
“Bastards! Because of them, we are now unemployed,” speaks Pigeon 5.
“We are not friends,” contradicts Pigeon 3.
“I barely even know them! We just crossed paths once and shifted together.”
The Seeker feels betrayed. Looking at Pigeon 3 and shaking his head. Uncomfortable silence.
“Oh look,” speaks Pigeon 3 and catches the attention of the other birds.
“I just spotted some breadcrumbs over there in the grass.”
“Breadcrumbs?” repeat Pigeon 1,2,4 & 5. Together, all Pigeons lift off from the roof, fly towards the grass and pick for anything digestible. Pigeon 3 has regretful eyes.
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The Sulking Seeker groans. “What arrogant pricks.”
The Stranger fixes his eyes on Pigeon Number 3, who hides behind the grass.
“I want to talk with Pigeon 3. But alone.”
The Stranger looks at the other pigeons in the grass. Then the Stranger looks at the Seeker.
“Can you distract the other Pigeons for me, so that I can talk with our friend undisturbed?”
“You know what,” speaks the Seeker with determined eyes.
“I also have a score to settle with them. I will find the pigeon who shat on my feet and hold him accountable.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
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Both walk to the lawn. The Stranger approaches Pigeon 3, while the Seeker confronts the rest of the flock.
“I know that one of you shat on my boots. I demand an apology!”
The pigeons laugh at the Seeker.
“Do you even know who you are messing with?” asks Pigeon Number 1 with aggression in his voice.
“We are the Pigeon gang, we control the hood. Our color is blue and we have a special handshake. We also just dropped a new album.”
Pigeon 1 hands the Seeker a CD. The Seeker looks at it.
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Pigeon 5 smiles at the Seeker.
“The only way, that we will ever tell you, who did it, is if you win against us in a rap battle.”
Meanwhile the Stranger approaches Pigeon 3, who stands offside in a distance to the rest.
“Why are you hiding yourself?” asks the Stranger. “Why do you go against your own heart to fit into the expectations of others?”
“To survive,” responds Pigeon 3. “If you don't go with the swarm, you won't get enough breadcrumbs to eat. I can only survive, when I adept to my environment.”
“Have you ever tried being your true authentic Self? Or have you only ever imitated others? Behaved, as you were expected to behave?”
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“I have seen what happens when you are different. My brother... pigeon number 6... His feathers were brown instead of gray. When the rest of the swarm flew in one direction, he flew against it. Everyone made fun of him. Until he stood up for himself and was thrown out. So I prefer to stay silent and just play along.”
“But are you happy that way?” asks the Stranger. “Does this fulfill you?”
“No. But it's comfortable,” sighs the Pigeon, who starts getting annoyed by the questions.
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At the same time the Seeker and the Pigeons just end an epic rap battle. Pigeon 1 drops his Microphone and humiliates the Seeker. The crowd breaks out in cheering and laughter.
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Suddenly four seagulls come flying in from the south. They wear red clothes.
“What the hell are you MF's doing here on our territory?!” yells Pigeon 1 aggressively. Pigeon 4, 2 and 5 prepare for a brawl.
“Yo MF's” begins the seagull, while invading Pigeon 1 personal space. “I am here to collect the tribute!”
“Are you insane?!” asks Pigeon 1. “We are protected by the Blue side.”
“Haven't you heard,” laughs the Seagull. “The Blue side has fallen. Red is now in control.”
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“I don't want to be alone,” admits meanwhile Pigeon 3 to the Stranger.
“I am afraid of being rejected for who I am. I already don't have a high standing in the Gang... If I were to turn in front of them into a white dove, they will make fun of me for the rest of my life.”
“This sounds like a toxic environment,” responds the Stranger. “What hinders you from finding new friends?”
“I tried that already,” sighs the disappointed pigeon.
“That's why I went to the Red Ditch Inn to find new friends. And I joined a couple of adventurer groups, sat on various tables. Then we went up the Great Shift and I really thought things were changing. But then we split up and I felt very lonely again. So I went back to the Gang. And now they resent me for abandoning them. I always end up here again. That's just my place here. My role in life.”
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“You are attached,” points out the Stranger.
“Your role in life is not to suffer. If you suffer, there is something to fix! You can go tell yourself forever that 'All is well'. But if there is still something causing you to suffer, then there is something you can do about it. Only when you are not attached, are you harmonizing with the flow of life.”
“It's not just that!” intercepts Pigeon 3.
“I can't just turn into my new Form in front of them. It's embarrassing. I feel ashamed. They expect me to be a certain way, to speak a certain way. But when I turn into the white dove, I speak my true mind. I speak my true thoughts. I am unable to lie. They can't see me like that. You know... It's just... I just don't want to make others cringe at me, I guess.”
The Stranger smiles.
“Everyone has at least some amount of cringe in their being. Some are just better at playing the game of society, than others. Someone once told me: 'True enlightenment is when you have accepted the cringe within you.' Because then you also accept the 'cringe' in everyone else as well. Then there is no comparison. No judgment. No Shame.
You can choose to walk your own way but you can't control how people react to you. The need for control is born out of insecurity. You bending yourself in order to control other people's behavior is actually quite manipulative. And you are neither helping yourself that way, nor anyone else. By suppressing aspects of yourself, you create an inner conflict and are unable to find peace within. You need to look at all aspects of yourself, forgive them and accept them.”
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“I... I know that I am different,” admits the Pigeon.
“And all I ever wanted was to belong. To be part of a family. But they would only ever accept me, when I was not myself.”
“My friend,” speaks the Stranger to the pigeon.
“It was never about them accepting you, it's about you accepting YOURSELF. This is what you need, to find the fulfillment you are seeking after.
I will now tell you something that probably no one has ever told you before, but you urgently need to hear: IT'S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT.
Don't feel insecure for your uniqueness – OWN IT instead. There will never again be another YOU. Realize how precious you actually are. You don't need to fit yourself in any tiny box. It won't make them happier, no matter how hard you tell yourself you are doing it for the people around you. Be true to yourself. Both inwardly and outwardly.”
Pigeon 3 sighs.
“I don't even know, what my true Self actually looks like. I keep chasing after it but I can't seem to find it.”
“If you don't know what it looks like, your truest form, then let me show it to you,” speaks the Stranger and takes a deep breath in.
Sudden full awareness. They are both in the present Moment. A clarity, a lucidity, a calmness. Within and without.
“Here it reveals itself to you. Beyond concepts and thoughts and time. In the present moment. The unchanging. Just remember it, before delving back into the next identity. It is ever present in each moment. And don't forget, you can always come back, after playing.”
Pigeon 3 suddenly has a tingly feeling on the forehead, where the pineal gland sits. A vision behind Pigeons eyes. Of a possible future.
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In the vision, pigeon 3 looks into the mirror and has the form of a winged androgynous human with golden long hair in ancient garments and a harp in its hands. A feeling of familiarity shivers over the birds spine. Pigeon 3 is suddenly pulled out of it again.
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“Wait... was that... was that me? Is this what I will be, when I level up?”
“This is who you already are,” speaks the Stranger.
“This is your truest form, my friend. This is who you'll find, when you strip away all the things, that aren't you.”
Pigeon 3 stares at his wings.
“I still can't believe it. I never saw myself that way. I never realized that I could be so elevated... Is this really possible?”
“If you are willing to walk this path,” smiles the Stranger.
“Then nothing is impossible.”
“But where should I even start?” questions Pigeon 3.
“Right here, right now,” speaks the Stranger and points at the pigeons, who challenge the seagulls to a rap battle.
“This is where you start. Here and now. In the present moment.”
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“You are right,” speaks Pigeon 3 with burning eyes. “It is time to face my fears.”
The Gray Pigeon, who always stood in the background, takes in a deep breath. All fighting between the gangs suddenly stops. Everyone listens in. A light emerges from pigeon 3, so bright that they avert their eyes. The pigeon transforms into a white dove in front of all the pigeons and seagulls.
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“You all like to laugh, don't you?” asks Pigeon 3 the gang.
“No. 5 you laughed loudest when No. 2 aimed for the Seeker. No. 4 laughed so hard once, that No. 6 went missing. And No. 1, your laugh hurts the most. I am different from you. I only laugh, when no one gets hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone, because I know what pain feels like.
I don't want to laugh at people, I want to laugh with them together. I don't want needless conflict. I want harmony and peace. I don't want to be part of a flock, such as yours. Where people are fighting and fighting over nothing. Not realizing, that we are all on the same side.
I realized that as long as I stay with you, I will always feel lonely. This is not where I belong. I see that now clearly. So I will move on and see, where the wind takes me next, my friends. This time it's goodbye for good. You won't see me again.”
For a moment the other pigeons stare at the white dove. Then Pigeon Number 4 bursts out in anger.
“MF! You just interrupted me in the middle of my Diss Track! GTFO!”
The Seagulls victoriously High Five each other.
“This doesn't mean, that we have lost,” Speaks Pigeon Number 1, who stands up. “Four, give me the Mic.”
Pigeon number 1 takes the microphone and disses the Seagulls with his poetry. All attention is back to Pigeon 1. The white dove and the Stranger are forgotten.
“Look at how Self-absorbed they are,” points out the Stranger to the white dove. “They don't even know, what they are missing. They never deserved you. What will you do next? Do you want to walk the path together?”
“How far do you intend to go,” asks the Pigeon the Stranger.
“To the top of Axis Mundi. This is where the journey will eventually lead us. Far Beyond the 7th Gate. Beyond the abyss. Beyond YouTown. We will walk further, than anyone before us. Are you ready to walk together?”
“Yes,” speaks the white dove with determination in its eyes.
“But not yet. With my wings, I am faster, than you anyway. I will prepare the path ahead for you. I will carry on the message. I will use my voice to speak. Let us meet up in YouTown.”
“We will meet again,” grins the Stranger. “In YouTown.”
The white dove nods, looks one last time to it's family and flies off. Letting go of old attachments, ready to start anew. Ready to make it big in the city.
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The Stranger waves at his friend flying to the sky. He stops as he feels the Seeker approaching.
“Well I might not know what just happened with you and the third one, but my story definitely was the A-Plot. So many crazy things happened. That one dude did a back-flip and another one started break-dancing. And we delved deep into the lore of the gang wars between the Gull's and Pigeo's. Anyway how did your B-Plot go?”
Before the Stranger can answer, they hear many voices talking from the other side of the barn. They investigate the noise. A crowd of people stands at the entrance gate of the farm.
“What's the matter,” asks the Seeker a sheep from the crowd.
“Haven't you heard?” yells the euphoric sheep. “The Greatest Of All Times has returned from his missionary trip.”
The Seeker and the Stranger force themselves through the crowd into the first row. In the center is a white Goat singing and praising. He wears a necklace with a tree symbol and carries a book.
“Hallelujah. By the mercy of the SEEKER OF LOVE, we have been saved. Praise be to her and her eternal songs of Love.”
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The Seeker can't stop staring at the Goat. There's something familiar about him. “Wait a second... It's YOU!”
TO BE CONTINUED