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Part 36: Leave the past behind you

“What is time?” asks the mysterious Stranger the Seeker, as both continue on their path. Along the path there are many fields of wheat and corn.

“Time is used to measure the progression of events from past, to present, to future,” responds the Seeker.

“It is the fourth dimension of reality. It flows linear, like a straight line. The passing of time can be observed in the cycles of the sun and the moon, of day and night, months and seasons...”

“So we have split time in past, present and future?” inquires the Stranger.

“Yes,” responds the Seeker.

“With the past we describe what has already happened and led to this moment. The past is everything that happened before the present. With the future we describe what is still to come. Everything that will happen later. Tomorrow, in a year, in ten years... The present lies between the past and the future. The present is what we are experiencing at this moment.”

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“So with time, what we actually measure is change, right?” concludes the Stranger.

“We know that the PAST and the PRESENT are not identical. Because there was a change from Moment A to Moment B. So we put WHAT IS in relation to WHAT USED TO BE and compare both. This is the causal chain of cause and effect.

We find entropy everywhere. In bursting bubbles. In evaporated water. In decaying organic matter. We find cycles everywhere. In our measurement of time, based on the solar or lunar cycle. Or when we look at the birds, seasons and the stars.

Because we can remember previous states, we are aware that changes will follow in the FUTURE. We know, the future also follows the chain of cause and effect. We form ideas about what the future will look like, based on past experiences and act accordingly or plan ahead.

But when do we experience the future? When do we experience the past? Where else, apart from in our thoughts and memories? Aren't we always in the present? At this very moment, the intersection between the past and the future, between before and after. Don't all experiences take place in the present, in the moment?

We experience change in our environment. We experience entropy every moment. The change of every state always happens in the present. Change of every kind can only ever be observed in relation to the now. A momentary state must exist so that it can be compared with past states. Only in the present can we remember. Only in the present can we plan our future.

When an ice cube melts, time has passed. We say now there is water and before there was ice. But isn't it the case that the water was always in the present despite the change in state? Before it melted, it was in the present moment. As the ice cube lost more and more shape, it was in the NOW. When it became water, it was in the NOW. And when it later evaporates, it will still be in the NOW.

Can we really divide time into past, present and future? Isn't the present moment more like a moving point on an eternal timeline? Are past and future perhaps, just a concept? A mental construct through which we can observe and understand the causal chain of events? Where is the future, except in our thoughts? Where is the past, except in our thoughts? When do we experience our thoughts?”

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“In the NOW,” gasps the Seeker, with their mouth wide open.

“So you see, how there is only ever the present moment?” asks the Stranger the Seeker.

“With our brains we may have the capacity to record the present moment and store it as memory. Through our imagination, we may anticipate the future based on what we already know of the past. But these functions also operate in THE PRESENT MOMENT. There is only the Now, all else is just a mere concept.”

“But we need this concept,” argues the Seeker.

“How else should we communicate? All human knowledge and technology is based on our ability to remember the past and to expect the future.”

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“I am not attacking the concept of time,” laughs the Stranger.

“I am just pointing out that past and future are not real. That this split up in thought is imaginary. The concept of past and future are indeed convenient from a human perspective. But we should be aware of its illusory nature, to expand our understanding.”

“Okay,” contemplates the Seeker.

“So there is truly only ever the present moment... There is no past and there is no future...”

“Exactly,” confirms the Stranger.

“But do me a favor and don't build an identity around this realization. Please don't be one of those people who can't stop shutting up about the present moment. And don't turn the 'present moment' into a new concept to become attached to.”

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Suddenly the Seeker and the Stranger stop on their path. There is a giant rabbit hole on the roadside with a sign next to it, stating:

'ENTER INTO THE PAST'

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“This rabbit hole seems very suspicious,” notes the Seeker.

The Stranger wants to get a closer look and sticks her head into the hole. “This seems to go very deep.”

Suddenly there is a pull and the Stranger is sucked head-first down into the rabbit hole. A loud scream dampens until it quiets down completely.

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The Seeker sighs, shaking their head. “Damn it... Why do we always end up with weird scenarios...”

The Seeker takes a deep breath and follows the Stranger into the rabbit hole. A magnetic pull sucks them in. The Seeker screams as they slide down for several minutes, until there is a light at the end of the narrow tunnel. When they emerge on the other side, the Seeker is blinded for a moment. As their eyes get comfortable with the new scenery, the Seeker notices that everything is black and white. The Stranger stands next to them. They are standing in a suburban area with many gray houses, all looking identical. A sign shows the name of the street: 'Memory lane'

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“Where are we?” asks the Seeker, as they take a look around.

“Where are all the colors gone?”

“It's always gray in the PAST,” responds the Stranger.

“Or have you never seen a movie from the 50's before?”

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Suddenly, the Seeker notices a faint sound. It sounds like sobbing and weeping.

“Did you also just hear that?” they ask the Stranger. “I think it's coming from the house over there.”

“Let's have a look and investigate,” speaks the Stranger. They approach the house and open the door.

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There is no furniture in the house. The entire building completely empty, apart from a single TV screen. In the corner of the living room sits a young, white bunny, covered in a blanket. She weeps while staring at the screen.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

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The Seeker recognizes the bunny. “Wait... Isn't that?”

The Stranger nods. “Yes, it's her.”

Despite everything else being black and white, the TV screen projects a colorful image. The Seeker stares into the screen. It's almost as if the screen is pulling their attention in, binding it.

The Screen shows the white bunny as a child. She is surrounded by five brown female bunnies, who make fun of her weight and her fur.

“Why are people so mean?” thinks the bunny out loud.

“I don't want to hurt anyone. I always treat others with kindness. All I ever wanted was to be friends. But they never accepted me. They made fun of the way I looked and so I colored my fur with brown paint to look just like them. But they still didn't want to be my friend. They made fun of my weight and so I lost it. But instead of calling me fat, they just started calling me anorexic.

They treated me, as if something is wrong with me. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps something is wrong with me. They told me that I am ugly and I believe it. They told me that I am worthless and I believe it. They told me that no one likes me and I believe it. I hate my face. I hate my body. I hate my life.”

“It's not real,” speaks up the Seeker, pulling the bunny out of her monologue.

“Your past is just an illusion. There is only ever the present moment. The past is a concept, so stop identifying with it!”

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Only when she heard the Seeker speak, she became aware of them. Startled and afraid, the bunny hastily hops out of the window and runs to a different house.

The Seeker scratches their head. “Did I say anything wrong?”

“I know, that you just wanted to help her,” speaks the Stranger.

“But breaking the illusion of time, won't be enough to heal deeply ingrained wounds. The emotional burden of the past weighs so deep, that they are part of her identity. Telling her that it's not real, will just invalidate her pain.”

Together, the Seeker and the Stranger walk to the next house, where the bunny hopped into. They open the door. It's another empty house. Again, the bunny sits in a dark corner and stares into the colorful TV screen. A tear drops from her eye.

The Screen shows a sick bunny in a hospital bed, surrounded by family, who look at the sick bunny with sad eyes. The sick bunny in the hospital bed forces a smile and then coughs blood.

“There is no greater pain in life, than the pain of loss,” thinks the bunny out loud.

“How should we ever recover from losing the people, who mean so much to us? Everyone will die eventually. And the people who are important to us will eventually perish as well. How should we live on, when the floor below us crumbles? When the foundation of our house breaks apart? When all we have left of the people we love, are memories? How should we live on, knowing, that we will never talk again? That we'll never see their face or hear their voice again? How should we move on, when we don't even know, how to walk without them?”

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“Stop replaying the memories in your thoughts,” speaks up the Seeker and pulls her again out of her monologue.

“The past is gone, no matter how much you cling to it. Whenever you look back at the past, you are missing out on the present.”

The bunny looks at the Seeker horrified. She has tears in her eyes.

“How can you even say this!? I am still mourning!”

Once again, the bunny hops out of the window and flees to the next house.

The Seeker looks at the Stranger confused.

“What did I do wrong this time? I just told her the truth... She needs to move on.”

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“What she needs right now is not the truth,” speaks the Stranger.

“She needs someone by her side to remind her, that she is not alone.”

Once again the Seeker and the Stranger follow the rabbit to the next house. They open the door. Empty again, apart from the bunny sitting in a corner, while staring at a colorful TV screen.

The screen shows a young bunny child building castles on a beach, being pushed on a swing at a playground and playing with puppets or toys.

“These are the only good memories, I can think of,” speaks the Bunny to herself.

“Back then, things were still okay. Before I had to worry about taxes and bills and paying rent. Before I had to put all my time and energy into a job, I don't even enjoy. Before I was thrown into this ruthless world, expected to stand on my own. When I still had hopes and dreams. When I was protected. When I was save. Why can't we go back to how things used to be? Why does life need to be so hard and painful?”

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“You are living in the past,” speaks the Stranger to the white bunny. This time the Seeker remains quiet. When she hears the Strangers voice, the bunny looks out of the window, but there are no more houses left to escape to.

“Quite literally. You escape the present moment, by focusing your thoughts on the past. But you don't belong here. This moment is already gone and it will never come back again. No matter how long you dwell here, you won't find anything worthwhile. The past might give you comfort, but it chains you down. You can't create any new memories, while you are still bound to the past. What about the people in your life right now? Don't you want to create new memories with them?”

“What if I am all alone?” argues the bunny. “What if there is no one in my life to create new memories with? What if there is no one, who truly understands me? What if the past is the only place, I do not feel alone?”

“What is wrong with being alone?” questions the Stranger. “Most often we are afraid of being alone, when we are not comfortable with ourselves. So why not first get to know yourself fully?

Also does dwelling on the past really resolve your loneliness or is it just a distraction? If you want to connect with people and relate with them, you can't do it while still being stuck in the past. Did you dwell on the past, while you created those memories, that you are so attached to right now? No, you were in the present moment. Only in the NOW, do you experience. Imagine, all the wonderful moments that you could create, when you leave the baggage of the past behind you. Face the truth, it is time to move forward.”

“But I am scared,” admits the bunny. “What if I get hurt again?”

“Pain is part of life,” responds the Stranger.

“Accept that it is there. Heal the wound, if you can. And if you can't, then learn to live with it. Without letting it control your actions. Without being attached or building an identity around it. Life is a challenge. The only way to grow, is to meet the challenge head on.”

The white bunny has a thoughtful look on her face. Her eyes show an internal struggle, unsure how to continue. She wants to move on. But there is still something holding her back.

“There is something I would like to show you,” speaks the Stranger and offers a hand to the bunny. “Will you follow me outside?”

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The bunny nods and accepts the Strangers hand. Together, the Seeker, the bunny and the Stranger walk out of the house. The bunny follows the Stranger to a graveyard. They stop at a particular gravestone.

The bunny shakes her head. “No. Not yet. I am not ready yet to face my loss...”

“Every human being will face loss eventually within their lifetime,” speaks the Stranger.

“To lose someone, you love dearly, is part of being human. And everyone of us deals with loss differently. No one can tell you, when you are ready. No one can tell you, what you are supposed to feel. No one can tell you how to deal with it.

But whoever it is, that you have lost, I think it is fair to assume, that this person meant a lot to you. That you love them dearly and they loved you. And whoever they are, they would have wanted the best for you. They would have wanted to see you move on. To see you smile again. To see you laugh again. To find the closure, that you need for the story of your life.”

A tear flows from the bunnies eye. “Alright,” she whispers under breath.

The Seeker and the Stranger take a few steps back, leaving her behind, to say the things she needs to say in private. They wait for her, until she is ready to move on.

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After a couple of hours, the bunny leaves the grave behind and joins the two of them. She has a different look on her face. Her eyes are still red from crying, but a faint light glows within them. A fire, that she thought she had lost a long time ago.

“It's the first time I ever visited this grave,” admits the bunny.

“But... Now that I did... This burden is finally gone... I feel lighter now...”

“There is one more place, I would like to take you,” speaks the Stranger to the bunny.

“Come with me.”

The bunny follows. Together, they walk to another house. The Stranger opens the door. The house is entirely empty, apart from a single, giant mirror in the entry hall.

“Is that what you want to show me?” asks the bunny.

“A mirror? This is the last thing, I want to be looking at... I am ugly. I am fat. I don't want to look at myself!”

“Take a closer look,” speaks the Stranger and points at the mirror.

“Your view is distorted. Because you only ever look at an image, that other people have created of you. You don't even see yourself. Look deeper. Beyond your past. Beyond the labels, that other people have used to describe you. Beyond attachments and identities. I see a strong and beautiful soul. One that went through a lot of pain and yet remained kind and compassionate. I see the fire in your eyes. The light in your being.”

The saddened bunny sighs.

“What good does a beautiful soul bring me in a world that only cares for the beauty of my body and face? What good does my kindness bring me, if no one is ever kind to myself? If all I ever feel is pain and sadness?”

“Look closer,” reminds the Stranger and brings the bunnies attention back to the mirror.

“No matter, who looks into this mirror, no one will see the same as you. No one else will have your story. Your life. Your beautiful soul. Can't you see its wonderful uniqueness? Can't you see, that there will never again be another you? Your pain is what shaped your kindness, so embrace it. Don't you see, that it's necessary? That YOU are needed? Your wonderful soul is needed here. Take a closer look at your entire being. See your soul fully. From all angles and embrace it fully.

Who cares, what others think or say about you. They don't have your beautiful soul. That is why they tried to put you down. Telling lies about you to instill insecurities in your mind. The superficial beauty of the body is fleeting and will one day come to pass. But the beauty of a soul is unique, is special, is everlasting. YOU ARE WONDERFUL. No matter, if you see it or not. This beauty within you, has always been there. Now it's time to accept it.”

For the first time the bunny looks closely in the mirror and sees the beauty of her soul. Observing her entire being. Her story. And she embraces it. She fully accepts herself.

Her sad face turns into a smile. Tears of sorrow turn into tears of joy. She has found herself.

“I... I can't believe it...” utters the bunny in awe. “I... I wasn't worthless after all?”

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“You are awesome,” confirms the Seeker. “Always have been.”

The bunny smiles. There is a warm, fuzzy feeling in her heart.

“I am ready to leave my past behind and start anew.”

The Stranger nods and takes the bunny and the Seeker back to the rabbit hole, where they entered into the PAST. The Stranger is being sucked into the hole, then follows the Seeker and lastly the bunny. They all slide back into the PRESENT MOMENT, where the grass is green and the sky is blue.

As the bunny takes a good look at the colorful world around her, she is reminded of how beautiful nature looks like. The black and white shades of the Past are nothing compared to the vibrant colors of the Present.

The bunny takes a deep breath, turns to the Seeker and Stranger and speaks:

“Let us walk together.”

The bunny dissolves into energy and flows into the heart of the Seeker.

LEVEL UP!

LVL 29: + 1 Empathy

NEW TRANSFORMATIONS AVAILABLE:

WHITE BUNNY

WENUT

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“Let's hurry up,” speaks the Seeker to the Stranger. “It starts getting dark outside.”

The full moon is rising, as the Seeker suddenly hears scary sounds in the distance. It's the howling of a wolf.

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TO BE CONTINUED