The wind outside was bitter against my face, and suddenly I was completely awake and aware. The sluggish wave that had been at the forefront of my mind was wiped clean as the untouched icicles clinging to the building’s awning and the underbelly of passing cars as I stared into the frosted puddles just at the edge of the curb of the street sparkled in the sun.

I had said nothing in response to Niklaus’ declaration. I hadn’t demanded to know why he was lying to me if he was lying. I hadn’t screamed or yelled or asked for proof of the matter. Because somewhere down in my core, I knew the truth. I had always known, just never allowing myself the indulgence of looking into it.

I had gone completely quiet for the first time in a long time as I felt the silent dread creep up into my chest. The pit of my stomach curled at the thought of this newest revelation, my brain still trying to wrap itself around his words until all that had been left were the movement of his lips as the bustle of the café blurred into white noise.

I do not remember what I had said. I said nothing at all. But the air was thick, and I could not breathe, and then I was outside. The sharp inhales caused my lungs to freeze until they couldn’t expand any farther. I pulled myself together as best as I could, my eyes darting back and forth on either side of the sidewalk. My eyes locked onto Abraham who was quietly leaned up against the door of his truck, attention on the phone in his hand.

He looked up as my brain finally caught up with me and I turned on my heel and started walking. Headed for any destination but here.

“Jaylyn.” I heard the shout and Abraham’s heavy footfall.

“No. Not now, Abe.” I gestured my arm for him to back down, picking up my pace.

“Jay!”

“No!” I turned, the horror of my reality plain on my face and glared, a silent warning before turning back and shuffling into a light jog.

I needed to breathe.

I needed the space that no one could offer me.

I needed out.

I barely flinched as a light hand came down on my arm. My eyes focused, hyper aware of the warmth radiating down my shoulder.

“Is something troubling you, wanderer?” A smooth, sultry voice caressed my cheek and I turned to softened golden brown eyes with little flecks of silver peppering their core.

“Am I that obvious, Sister?” My small smile could only be described as grim.

“Only as obvious as you care to be.” She smiled, it was warm and comforting and so much like I remember of my mother’s.

I looked down at my hands in my lap and sighed. “You would be the first to consider me to be obvious.”

“Maybe that would be from the powers the Divine have granted me.” She smirked as she shuffled her robes. “Or maybe I just have good intuition.”

“I thought intuition was frowned upon in religion.” I peaked.

“Maybe so. But religion does not define me.”

I raised a brow. “Then what does?”

“Kindness.”

It was my turn to smirk. “Isn’t it against your vows to say any words against God?”

“From what I’ve been told.” She chuckled, her eyes crinkling just at the edges. “Not that it matters at my age. I am still my own person, regardless of the path I have chosen for myself in this life.”

“Good for you.” Her smile was infectious. “Fight the system.”

“Sister Ardene.” She held out her hand politely.

I took it, giving a small shake. “Jaylyn.”

“So, what brings you into my neck of the woods or in this case, stone walls?”

I considered her question carefully. I had panicked back at the café. I had needed silence so badly that I had ended up at the least likely place imaginable, which also happened to be the quietest.

“The peacefulness.” I figured I didn’t want to add lying to a nun on my list of reasons I was going to hell.

“Hmm.” She contemplated. “A church is very quiet, not so much on Sunday’s, I reckon.”

I chuckled at her lame attempt at a joke.

“You should be a comedian in your next life, Sister. I think it suits you better.”

“I will take that into consideration.”

“You probably get people in here like me all the time.”

“From time to time, yes.” She agreed. “But it is okay to be lost sometimes. It helps to find who you really are and what you really want out of your life. As I figure, we only get one, until proven otherwise.”

“That’s not very godly of you.” I snorted. “Do you not believe in Heaven or Hell, salvation, or eternal damnation?”

“I believe as much as I have seen and felt on my own.” She inclined her head. “That does not mean I do not have faith. Humans are fickle creatures. I am one of them. I have doubts and fears, just as you do. I just choose to believe in something greater than myself. When I devoted my life to this church, I did so knowingly, that I would never have all the answers I was seeking. But I have faith in something. Call it God, call it Christianity, call it anything you wish. But it is something. No matter what name you give it.”

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

“You have to be the least pushy religious person I’ve ever met.” I turned to face the dais where a huge stone cross dominated the room. It was carved of marble, shining in waves of faint candlelight.

“I have no reason to be.” She shrugged.

“You remind me of my mother.” The words slipped out like acid.

The pain in my voice caused her eyes to soften more. “Tell me about her.”

I paused, swallowing down the pain in the back of my throat as my eyes began to sting.

“Her hair was sunshine.” My voice came out in a raspy whisper, so I cleared my throat. “She was strong and fierce. She knew how to take any situation, no matter how shitty, and turn it into something beautiful.” I swallowed hard. “Sorry.”

“What for?”

“Isn’t it bad to curse in a church?” My eyes lingered too long on the glass mosaic of the Virgin Mary just behind the cross.

“I don’t give a damn.” Ardene chuckled again.

I couldn’t suppress my smile, but then it faltered. “I am lost, Sister. I thought I knew who I was, what my purpose was. And now everything is so messed up, I do not even know where to begin.”

“Everyone has demons, Jaylyn.” She patted my hands before unwrapping a rosary from her wrist and placing it where her hands had left their warmth.

“I can’t accept this.” I started. “I don’t believe...”

“You don’t have to.” She closed my fingers over it. “I find in times of trouble, it helps if I simply count the beads, repeatedly. Something in the way numbers sound one after the other is soothing to the soul. You may find peace there as well.”

She stood from her seat and began to step away.

“Is it all right if I stay here as little while longer? You don’t close soon or anything, right?” I asked.

“Silly girl, our doors are always open. This is not a convenience store down the block.” She walked away in silent grace, only the tapping of her shoes echoing off the stone pillars.

I looked down at the white beaded rosary she had placed in my hands and sighed again, wishing some magic answer to all my problems would appear out of thin air. I hadn’t taken the time to consider what Dominik Black being my father might mean for me in the end. Giovanni would be my half-brother. I would be the child of an empire in which I hadn’t really wanted to be a part of from the start. I just needed a decent paycheck.

Was Dominik even aware that I was his daughter? If he was, then why did he treat me as one of his employees, even though in my mind, that had been all I was. It has been years of his torment walking in and out as he pleased to utilize me as he deemed necessary. Living under his thumb has been a brutal life since the very first day he had approached me with what I had assumed was feigned interest in a brat that could throw hands.

Is that how he viewed me, considering I had never spent a waking moment of my childhood in his company? Even being his flesh and blood, I was expendable. I was not a picture golden child that I know Niklaus could be, regardless of what happened between them behind closed doors.

There was absolutely nothing about this that made complete sense and I had wasted enough energy trying to figure it out on my own.

“Did you know?” The cool calm had taken over in my walk of the length of the city and the smell of oil and grim comforted my senses.

“What?” Ryker peaked out from under the hood of his car, face caked in sweat and dirt.

“Did you know?” I repeated, unable to finish the question.

Ryker stood upright and placed a rag on the top of his motor, still looking at me with faint confusion. “Did I know what?”

“About Dominik?” Horror squeezed my chest as the fluorescent lighting flickered. “About everything? Did you know?”

“Jaylyn, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He crossed his arms and leaned up against the grill.

“I don’t believe you.” My chest rose and fell in silent rage.

“Believe what, Jaylyn?” His stare hardened. “You came to my garage to demand answers to nonspecific questions. What is there to disbelieve?”

“How do you know everything about me?”

“I don’t know a damn thing about you.” His jaw tightened. “That much is for certain.”

“Oh, spare me the victim act.”

“Victim act?” His annoyance began to roll off in waves. “I am tired of the Jaylyn Sloan rollercoaster that I’ve been on since the day I fucking met you.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I snarled. “You fucking knew exactly who I was before I even step foot on that god forsaken campus! You fucking lied to me, Ryker.”

“I kept my secrets just as you kept yours!” He yelled as he threw the nearest wrench against the wall, leaving an impressive size dent in its wake.

“Then I guess we’re at a stalemate then, no?” I allowed my annoyance to roll off my tongue.

“I suppose so. So why can’t we start over?”

“That’s impossible in the life that we live.”

His eyes resumed their earlier hardness with firm absolute as he stepped forward, offering me his hand. I glared down at it until he gestured it out again. I took it as firmly as he took mine, disbelieving that I was playing along with yet another of his games.

“I’m Ryker Davis, it's nice to meet you, but you're a bitch.”

I growled from my core. “Jaylyn Sloan, likewise, but you’re a bastard.”

He smirked.

“Now what is it that you think I know?”

“How long have you known that Dominik Black is my father?”

“What?” Ryker’s face drained of color.

“I didn’t stutter.”

He released my hand immediately. “What are you talking about?”

“Let me catch you up to speed, since you are lacking in all the crucial information. Dominik Black is my father, which would make Giovanni Black my half-brother. I found out this information from my prodigal twin, Niklaus Sloan, who you know as Nik Black. My mother was the mistress of Dominik, married to his best friend Jason Sloan, who made my life a living hell as a child. And now all the pieces of my life are suddenly falling into place, and you have no knowledge of it?” I crossed my arms.

Ryker raised his eyebrows in alarm as he resumed his perch against the grill of his car.

“Honestly, Jaylyn, no. I had no idea.” He contemplated my revelation behind hooded eyes. “Are you sure it’s true?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” I smirked. “This is the life of Jaylyn Sloan. Never clear cut and simple and will always leave you wondering, what if?”

“I don’t think I would be handling it any better.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, in thought. “And Nik told you this?”

“A lovely chat over afternoon tea.”

“I’m so sorry, Jaylyn.” He lowered his arm to look at me with sincerity that racked my chest. “I’m at a loss for words.”

“And now that we are on the same page, this just adds to the list of shit I have to deal with on top of everything else that has happened since I got here.” My stomach churned.

“Jaylyn. We can talk if you need it.” He watched my manic movements, calculating and reassessing my motive.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Then we won’t.”

“I don’t want to fuck.”

“I won’t touch you ever again if that is what you want.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Then I will wait until you ask.”

“I don’t want to discuss that.”

“Then we won’t.”

The more I said I didn’t want to say anything, the more the words came to fruition. My legs shook with unease and frustration.

“I’m falling apart, Ryker.”

“I know.”

His words were short, as not to spook my overstimulated brain.

“I cannot keep doing this.”

“And that is okay.”

“Is it, though?”

“Yes.”

My eyes burned with unshed tears of anxiety. He slowly opened his arms and suddenly I wanted the warmth and comfort they could offer. Blinking back the hateful tears of wasted time, I strode forward and buried my face into the plains of his chest, finding solace in the smell of burnt cinnamon.