“You’re a goddamn monster!”
I watched as my daddy paced the width of the living room, drink in hand. It was just another night in our household that he came home angry at momma for some unknown reason. He kept glancing towards me with red rimmed eyes. The glare came naturally, and I sat a bit straighter, hoping it would take some of the madness away from his gaze.
“You will not talk to her that way.” Momma said sternly from the doorway, walking over to sit near me, blocking daddy from being able to see me.
“You and your goddamn spawn have torn this house apart! We used to be respected, and now I look like a fool!” He spat.
“Blame only me, Jason. Leave Jaylyn and Niklaus alone.” Momma spoke low and even.
I curled my legs up to my chest and squeezed them tight. Niklaus was supposed to be home by now. What could be taking so long?
“How long, Rose?” The sound of glass breaking caused me to jump. “How long do you expect me to pretend like everything is normal?”
“I wasn’t the one who asked you to do this, Jason!”
“Do I even know the truth? Does he even know the truth?” Daddy yelled louder than before.
“You know everything.” Momma sighed, resting a calming hand on my shaking arm. “He knows as much as he needs to. You know this.”
“How can I trust you, let alone look at you?!”
“Do we have to relive the only mistake I’ve ever made in our marriage every day?”
“I have to see proof of it every time I walk into my own house! I have to deal with the stares and the whispers at every meeting! I, alone, have to deal with the aftermath of your doings.” Daddy yelled more, spiking something to hurt my chest.
“Momma, can I go upstairs?” I pleaded with gentle eyes.
“Of course, darling.” She only half smiled, and it didn’t reach her eyes.
I stood from the couch and carefully stepped away, only for Daddy to grab my arm making me yelp.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He snarled, tears welling up in my eyes.
“Jason Sloan!” Momma yelled for the first time, yanking his hand away from me. “Do not touch my daughter.”
“What is going on?” Niklaus’ voice carried over the ensnaring argument.
“Niklaus!” The pain left my chest instantly at his calming voice and I rushed away from our parents to hide behind him, grabbing his hand and squeezing as tightly as I could.
I didn’t wake in a panic as I usually did when it came to my usual nightmares. Instead, my eyes simply blinked open as Niklaus’ voice still echoed in the room. I stared at the ceiling of Elsie’s apartment contemplating distant memories, the echo fading into the rumble of purring at my feet. I looked at the end of the couch to Leo sitting on the arm, staring at me intently while continuing the quiet engine.
“Are you here to judge me too?” I asked quietly, voice coarse from sleep.
He stretched and moved forward, walking right over my legs and up my abdomen on the comforter, only to plop down onto my chest and rub his head against my chin.
I smiled. “You and Elsie might be the only ones.”
He meowed quietly and got up, prancing to the kitchen. I sat up and looked around Elsie’s still sleeping apartment. I grabbed my phone off the table and clicked it open to find multiple messages from Ryker, one from Abraham, and too many from Aiden waiting for me. I sighed internally. Coffee before life.
I moved the comforter out of my way and joined Leo in the kitchen, catching hints of murmurs coming from Elsie’s room. At least she was awake. I pulled her coffee pot forward and filled it to the brim with water, haphazardly throwing in a filter and began the search for her bag of beans. Leo watched me curiously as I struggled, but didn’t complain, nonetheless.
Finally giving up on the search, I walked over to her door, lightly knocking before I opened it.
“Jay, oh my god!” Elsie yipped as I immediately turned my head away.
“Sorry!” I tried not to laugh as I covered my eyes. “I wasn’t…” -I cleared my throat- “aware that you were preoccupied.”
“What is it?” I could hear the embarrassment in her voice and the deep chuckle of Nick, him apparently as amused as I was.
“Direct me to your coffee?” Still not looking in their direction.
“Top cabinet above the stove.” She answered quickly.
“Thanks.” I tried to keep the laughter out of my voice as I shut her door.
I swallowed down the secondhand embarrassment and found what I had been looking for with Elsie’s guidance, Leo still sitting in the same spot with a gleam in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to.” I spoke to him as I finished setting up the pot. “It’s not like I had much warning.”
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He flicked his tail back and forth.
“Well, you could have said something.”
Am I arguing with a cat?
I rolled my eyes and found a cup in the strainer and waited for that little beep to let me know that the pot was finally finished. I had barely had my cup made and taken a sip before Elsie came trotting out of her room in an oversized t-shirt.
“Sorry.” I said over the brim of my cup.
“Don’t worry about it.” Her face was the color of a tomato, giggling nervously.
“So, uh, when did you two become so, uh, intimate?” I asked curiously.
Have I really been so distracted from noticing?
Unlikely.
“Well, for about two and a half weeks, give or take.” She spoke directly to her counter as she pulled two cups down and proceeded to fill them.
It seemed like she was waiting for me to lose my mind over it.
“Are you happy?” I asked, leaning against her counter.
“Extremely.” She finally looked up and I knew by the glint in her eyes that she was telling the truth.
Not that I expected anything from Elsie other than the truth.
“Then I’m happy for you.” I took a sip and she visibly relaxed. “But I’ll still kick his ass if he tries to hurt you.”
“Now, Jay…” She started.
“And what are you two lovely ladies gossiping about?” Nick interjected, emerging from Elsie’s room freshly showered in just jeans, running a towel against his hair.
“Plotting your murder, actually.” I took another sip. “I was just about to ask Elsie if you would rather be buried in the woods, or under some new construction in the city.”
“Under the new construction, obviously.” He smirked as he took the cup Elsie offered out to him. “That way you are less likely to get caught.” He turned and kissed the top of her head.
With Nick’s back to me, my eyes widened.
Something shifted in me and suddenly, I wanted to vomit.
I blinked.
Then again.
Then again.
I fought the tremble in my hands as I came face to face with an image that was so familiar that it had been engraved into me since I was a child. My stomach turned as I traced every outline of a tattoo consuming the shoulder blade of Nick Black with a piercing glare. I could feel the darkness clouding my eyes and I swayed on my feet.
“Jay! Are you all right?” Elsie lunged forward to steady me, but I could not look away from the man.
Nick turned with an equally worried expression, until his eyes met mine. And it clicked. I knew it clicked when the lines of worry turned into harder, colder ones.
How could I have not known?
All this time.
Everything fell into place. All the memories. All missing puzzle pieces.
“I need to leave.” I gripped Elsie’s arm, fighting the surge of anger welling in my chest.
“What? Jay, you’re not making any sense.” She countered.
I set my cup down, gently pulling my arm from her grasp, even with her protests. I swallowed down my sudden hatred, my sudden anger. I didn’t want to cause an all-out scene in Elsie’s presence.
“I’ll be fine. I need to get ready for tonight anyways.” I tried to assure her but knew I had failed.
I paused before exiting the kitchen. Ignoring Elsie’s questions and stared up at the man that had been all too familiar and now I knew why. I stared at a pair of eyes that mirrored my own with disgust. I now knew why I hadn’t met Nick Black before this job at the college for Giovanni. I was just too stupid to put it together before the memories tore into me and it ripped my entire world apart.
I grabbed my bags and hurried out of the apartment without another word, cursing as unwarranted tears stung my eyes.
Nick Black was not a Black at all.
He was Niklaus Sloan, and I was too blinded to recognize my own twin.
My hands held my head carefully up as I stared into the deep scratches embedded into Tony’s counter. I didn’t feel right going home but I couldn’t suffocate at Elsie’s under the weight of my newest revelation. It was all becoming too much. The weight of the job, the weight of having a life outside of the job, the weight of feeling emotions I was not accustomed to, and now the weight of this.
The flirty bartender from the first night being here absentmindedly cleaned glasses in front of me, casually glancing my way every few minutes or so. Tony’s was in full swing of employees getting the bar ready for what would be a terribly busy night and my stomach turned again at the thought of being here later.
“You okay?” Dylan asked.
“Fine.”
“I would be more inclined to believe you if you hadn’t finished seven drinks in the past thirty minutes.” He said, equally as submissive as his personality.
My fingers absently traced the pattern sticking out from the hole in my jeans. The same pattern of dragons intertwined that Niklaus had drawn when we were young; the same image embedded in his shoulder. I paused in my thoughts, contemplating a snarky remark, and instead tried for honesty to this complete and total stranger.
“How’s your family life?” I asked, mildly interested.
“Dad is a drunk, mom died when I was ten. No siblings.” He stated without emotion.
“I level with you.” I smirked. “Orphan too young. One sibling, who I thought was long gone.”
“Gone?” He raised an eyebrow and set down a glass.
“Ripped apart after our parents died. Spent a decade wondering if he was still breathing at the very least.”
“And now?”
“And now, come to find out, he’s been right under my nose for the past couple of years and I had no idea.” I took a swig of whiskey and relished in the burn.
“And you’re not happy about it?” Dylan assumed.
“You would think I would be, wouldn’t you?” I laughed without humor.
“I guess that would depend on the circumstances then.” He picked up another glass and the bell to the front door rang.
I leaned over to glance in that direction and my grip tightened on my glass. Dylan looked between me and the man who had just entered the bar and swallowed hard.
“I’ll give you guys some privacy.” He set down the glass and threw his rag over his shoulder before finding something to preoccupy his hands on the other side of the island.
I will give it to him, at least he wasn’t stupid.
“What the hell are you doing?” Nik breathed next to me, practically fuming. “I knew I would find you here.”
“I am having a drink, brother.” I hissed, taking another swig, glaring at him over the rim, daring him to say otherwise. “My job and responsibilities can wait.”
He sighed and sat in the stool next to mine, running his fingers through his hair.
“Jaylyn, look.”
“Save it.” I growled.
“You have every right to be angry.” He stated factually.
“You’re damn right I do.”
“Jaylyn…”
“No, Niklaus. I said save it. I don’t want to hear it.” The tears were threatening to come back. A decade worth of tears.
“We have a lot to talk about.” Firm. Resolute.
“We have nothing to talk about.” I rolled my glass with my wrist, watching the amber liquid swish around.
“You don’t know everything, Jaylyn.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I was left in the dark, would it?” I accused. “How long?”
“What?”
“How long did you know who I am?” I looked back down at the counter.
“For almost a year.”
I blinked as my hand shot out and slapped him across the face, before pulling myself back. His jaw ticked as he looked at the bottles lined up on the backside of the bar and said nothing.
“You’re no brother of mine. Now get out.” I looked back down at my glass, swallowing my sadness and anger down with the alcohol.
“Fine.” He stood and slammed money down on the counter. “Drinks on me. And for the record…” He leaned in a bit closer. “Everything I have done was at our mother’s request.”
He pushed away from the counter and stalked out of the bar, causing the door to slam behind him. Pain blossomed in my chest, and I shook as I tried to keep from crying. I took another big drink, finishing the glass. I raised my hand for another, and Dylan followed through without a word.
Finishing the glass in one go, I stood from my stool and pushed the money forward in Dylan’s direction.
“Keep the change.”
I knew his eyes were on me as I walked out, and the burn of the cooler air outside was refreshing against my heated skin. If I were to be of any use tonight, I would need to sober up and go home to get dressed. For everyone’s sake, I would have to put everything on hold and hopefully never have to dig it back up again.
Fuck me, right?