The fire roared in front of us, sitting in a semi-circle. I had found it rather curious to pick up the closest stick to my feet and poke at the sand mixed with dirt between my boots. Elsie’s admonition was clearly still at the forefront of my mind as the group chittered about Elsie’s choice in costumes for us all. Well, all besides Abraham. Elsie had feverishly apologized to him as we had made our way over here, even though it didn’t seem to bother him in the least.
I watched as my brother catered to her every word with sincerity and my stomach turned. Didn’t he understand that our life would consume her? Take everything that he cared about her and chew it up until it was almost nothing and then spit it back out again? Is that what he really wanted for her? To change entirely for him. To mold into the Elsie that this life would ultimately turn her into.
Not on my fucking watch.
She was innocent. People get hurt around us. People have died.
I would not let that fall back on her, even if it killed me in the process.
I snarled to myself and stabbed my stick harder into the ground.
“Hey, now. Your emotions are showing.” Abraham chuckled as he sat down beside me.
“Fuck off.” I mumbled.
He sighed as he put his hands into his pockets. “What’s going on now?”
“Too fucking much.” I rolled my eyes.
“Like what?” I looked up and he had a lopsided grin painting his face.
I glanced between him and the fire and then chose to stick with the flames. “It feels like everything is falling apart all at once and I don’t know what to do.”
“That is normal, Jay. Nobody can get it right all the time.” He offered.
“It’s not about getting it right.” I sighed. “It’s about trying to do the right thing even though every bone in your body tells you it’s the wrong thing. And then suddenly, everything you thought you knew is brought into question. I feel like I’m going through a mid-life crisis.”
“Jay, we didn’t ask to be born into the life we were we just find ways to cope and deal with it.”
“Well, that wouldn’t apply to me. I wasn’t born into this life.” I tossed my stick into the fire. “I walked into it.”
“Maybe you’re right. But all of us started somewhere.” He admitted. “What’s on your mind, specifically?”
“I’m not sure I feel like talking about it.”
“Talking about it will release some of the pressure, at least.”
“Nik is my brother.” The words fell out like vomit, and I couldn’t stop them once they had started. “I haven’t told anyone. So don’t say anything.”
“Nick Black?” He raised a brow. “You fucking with me? I didn’t even know you had a brother.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“So, you’re Dominik’s daughter?”
“No.”
I realized how ridiculous I sounded.
“My father’s name was Jason Sloan, and Rosemary was my mother.” I felt a rush of relief at their names being said aloud. “Niklaus was my twin.”
“That’s strange.” Abraham’s brow furrowed.
“What?”
“Their names sound familiar.”
“What do you mean?”
“My father used to hang around a man he called Sloan. Did your mother have blonde hair?” He asked.
“So platinum, it was almost white.” The corner of my mouth turned. “She used to brush mine and playfully scold me about how dark my curls had turned out to be.”
“They sound familiar, but it couldn’t be them. They didn’t have any children if I recall correctly. I was nearly fourteen then.”
“I don’t think my family would have been a part of the Company anyways. Mother was always so sad, even on the good days. Niklaus never stayed home for prolonged periods of time. They told me he was attending a private school. I cannot even remember what my father did, day to day. They used to fight a lot. So, most of the time, it was just me and my mother.”
“Until the fire.” I swallowed.
Abraham leaned over to offer comfort.
“It was the night that changed everything for me. After that night, I never saw Niklaus again. I was pushed into the system until I came of age, and here we are. And Nick Black turns out to be Niklaus Sloan.”
“That seems like a lot to swallow. It is still confusing. I remember Nick Black all the way to childhood.” He looked over at where Elsie sat curled up between Nik’s legs, balled into his chest as he poked at the fire, and they laughed. “He never mentioned having another family, let alone a sister.”
“There’s still some missing pieces to the puzzle, but I intend to find out.”
“Don’t you want to get to know him as he is now? Didn’t you miss him?”
“I missed a ghost, Abraham, a memory. Nothing more. That man sitting over there is not my brother.” I swallowed hard at the unwelcome burn that descended down my throat.
“Maybe.” He pulled a flask out of his coat pocket. “Maybe not.”
“Why aren’t you freaking out?” I asked as I snatched it away and took a drink.
“Living the way we do; nothing surprises me anymore.” He shrugged.
I smiled. It was nice seeing the genuine side of Abraham, even though he was still gut-wrenching annoying. I couldn’t decide why I felt so comfortable telling Abraham all my secrets. Only a small part of me trusted him, and I couldn’t allow it to be any more than that. I think he knew that, but he didn’t push, which was nice.
“Even though that’s a pretty big bombshell, did you at least make up with Ryker, yet?” He chuckled briskly into his flask.
I nudged his arm, but my eyes drifted over the fire, directly across from me. Ryker stared into the depths of the flames with a straight face. He hadn’t said much to anyone in the group besides Nik every now and then.
“I honestly couldn’t say. We are talking, somewhat. What is the deal between you two anyways? Are you friends, are you not friends?”
“We used to be particularly good friends when we were small. His family and mine are close. We spent a lot of summers together, and I had decided that I would rather spend time with Ryker and his family more than my own.”
He swished his flask around. “For a great long while, we were damn near inseparable.”
“What happened?”
“We started to grow up.”
Abraham grimaced.
“Ryker’s dad started coming down on us both. The usual; how to carry ourselves with respect, stop making a mockery out of our family names.’ Apparently, or at least he thought, that Ryker wasn’t making the cut. Ryker was a bit of a hot head back then, so naturally, he took everything a bit too seriously and anger seemed to be the only emotion he had.
He did things just to spite his father. Made a mess of family gatherings, snuck out to race cars, barely kept up with any responsibilities. So, after a while, his father turned his sights on me. Began prepping me for the world we now live in, and I took to it so easily. I guess that says a lot about my own character.
Ryker immediately started to blame me for his dwindling relationship with his father. I only let him take on to me so much to keep him off Ryker. But, of course, Ryker didn’t see it that way. He was perfectly content playing the rebellious teenager.”
He rolled his eyes.
“I couldn’t really imagine it.” I said quietly.
“All I ever did was try to protect him. Maybe, I was in the wrong for how I went about it. But I was just trying to help him be happy. His father thought Ryker was homosexual at one point. Only because he refused the advances of Emma and her family. He really just wanted out. But his father kept pushing him back in. I convinced his dad that I would take him out and give him proof of the latter. They were incredibly old school and very intolerable to even the suggestion that their prodigal son might bat for the other team.
I knew otherwise.
So, I got him laid for the first time from a genuinely nice lady down the block. Her name was Sheila, and we went over to her house often enough to be on first name basis. Did a lot of work around her yard. I took photos as proof, without them knowing and sent them back to Davis. He was satisfied enough. Shortly after, Ryker had any woman he met eating out of the palm of his hand. I acted as a concerned wingman, gave him tips and pointers. What to say. What not to say. What to do. What not to do. Hell, we even shared from time to time.”
“Jesus.” My eyes flickered back over to Ryker.
“Yeah, our families were completely fucked.” He sighed. “Hell, they still are. And it fucked us up.”
“That seems to be a lot to soak in as a teenager.”
“Yeah, well by the time we were getting ready to graduate, Ryker had seemed to accept his fate. He became complacent in his life. Let Emma’s family and his own father dictate every move. Never really complained. Just did as he was told, nothing more, nothing less. But the competition he felt was between us continued. Even though I tried like hell not to, I would be lying if I didn’t say there were times, I let it get the best of me and lashed out immaturely, feeding his reason for feeling the way he does.”
He chuckled. “Until a little spitfire moved in. Then he started growing a bit of a backbone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I accused.
“As much as I hate the fucker, you’ve been a good influence on him.”
I stuck my finger in my mouth, mimicking the motion of disgust.
“I cannot believe you just said that. Do not go around telling people. I might lose my shitty reputation.” I winked.
“I don’t think there is any amount of good that you could accomplish that could tip the scale for you.” He teased.
“I’m redeemable.” I smirked.
“We’ll see about that.”
It made sense now. The way Ryker reacted to everything Abraham did, even if he didn’t notice himself doing it. Ryker seemed a lot more mature than the picture of him that got painted for me as his youth self. If I thought for a second Abraham was lying, I wouldn’t honestly believe him. It seemed impossible for the kid he spoke of to be the same man who sat across from me.
I watched the flames dance across his face, soaked in the sharp line of his jaw, and the empty stare as he watched the fire cackle and burn. Something happened to make him change into the person he was now. I highly doubt it was the need to prove himself worthy to his father, and maybe one day I would be able to push it out of him. But until then, I would just be patient.
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It also made sense on why he had no love for Emma, despite how hard she tried to gain his affections and attention. He had only given her the shell, not everything, and only at his father’s behest.
My face flushed as the sudden memory of how Ryker’s hands running down my exposed spine had felt, and I shivered. Was he capable of showing me exactly who he was? Was I capable of doing the same? Did I even want that? That sense of intimacy required a level of vulnerability that I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to achieve.
What was it about him and Abraham that was different from all the others?
I wanted to talk with Ryker, learn his ins and outs. Try to piece together a broken man and figure out exactly what made him tick. It was honestly the first time I wanted to know anyone on a deeper level. Abraham and Elsie were open books, Giovanni was a typical child with typical wants and needs. But not Ryker.
Did anyone really know the man behind ocean eyes?
A beeping took me out of my initial thoughts and my eyes wandered over to the source. Niklaus casually pulled out his phone and answered. He spoke in clipped words of yeses and no’s, followed by looking from me to Giovanni.
When he ended the call, he settled on Gio and pursed his lips. “We need to leave for a bit.”
“Who’s we?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Giovanni and I.” He returned my gaze and I understood immediately.
Dominik.
“Do I need to be in attendance?”
“You were not summoned.” He stated.
Giovanni looked solemn.
“But babe…” Elsie started.
“It’s okay, Bee. We’ll be back before you even know we’re gone.” He smiled and kissed the top of her head before he stood.
“You sure everything is okay?” She asked, natural worry lacing her tone.
“Everything is fine. Family matters to attend to.” He gave her a lopsided smile and gave me one last lingering glance before they both departed.
“So, what now?” I asked, trying to offer a distraction.
“Chris and the guys set up a bubble tent down on the shoreline.”
“What the hell is a bubble tent?” Ryker finally spoke, strangely following my lead.
“Chris said they set up an enclosed tent. Probably big enough to fit fifty people or so. They said they were going to set up bubble machines and strobe lights with glow sticks and serve some free alcohol shots. Like a miniature rave on the beach.” She explained.
“Sure, Els. Let’s do that then.” I encouraged.
Her face lit up.
“Let’s do it.”
“Alright.” I stood up and dusted off my backside and looked down at Abraham. “If I have to do this, then so do you.”
“Raves really aren’t my scene.”
“Does it look like they’re mine?”
“For fuck’s sake.”
He grumbled as he stood up and the four of us trotted down the sea-stained wooden steps down to the shore.
Sure enough, there was an insanely over-sized enclosed tent that stood on stilts at the bottom. There were no lights set up on the inside, save for the beams that moved around the makeshift room. Everyone going in was covered head to toe in glow sticks, some even going as far as having smeared black light paint all over their arms, legs, and faces.
I tried to look properly amused as we got in place in line. It was moving fairly quickly so I didn’t find a proper excuse to leave before we were at the door. Chris stood as bouncer at the front with a couple guys I didn’t recognize.
They all laughed as we approached.
“The rules of the tent are there are no rules!” One laughed.
“That’s original.” I rolled my eyes causing Abraham and Ryker to chuckle.
“Gain free admittance by downing one shot.” The other looked equally amused. “Then have a good time. There are freshman wandering around inside with more drinks for our guests.”
Simply great.
Elsie looked at me and picked up a shot glass for her and I. Ryker did the same for himself and Abraham. We all four clicked glasses, tapped the table, and drank them fast. Elsie shivered as the alcohol went down and I waited for her queue before we all filed inside.
The tent was surprisingly warm for the crisp air that lingered outside in a noticeably clear contrast. I could barely see in front of me due to the lack of proper lighting. The music was loud and pounded against the inside of my skull, causing a small headache to form and begin to grow the deeper we went in.
We all grabbed drinks as we ventured further into the sea of bodies dancing around us. No matter which way you turned, someone was bumping into someone else, but no one seemed to mind. Bubbles were everywhere. Heaps were built up from the ground and floating down around the crowd, glinting from the glow.
We found a spot near the center where we all could fit, and Elsie giggled as she started swaying to the music with her arms as high up as they could reach. We all joined her swaying to the beat, our bodies in sync with one another. Waiters were wandering through the crowd, as promised, and stopped short to hand us all another round of the glowing liquid.
We laughed as we tried to down them without spilling them all over the place, and the guy holding the tray took our empty glasses back and disappeared into the sea of bodies.
Nine shots in, Elsie turned and looked at me. “I’m going to step outside. I think I might vomit.”
My head was spinning, but my stomach was fine. “I’ll come with you.”
“No, it’s okay. Chris is outside and Nick should be back soon.” She waved her phone halfheartedly in the air.
“Are you sure?” My eyebrows tensed as I became aware of how slurred my speech had become.
That is not normal.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll come get you guys when they get back.” She tried to smile.
“Alright.” I nodded. “If anything happens, come get me.”
“Sure thing.”
And then she was gone, vanished into the brush of moving limbs.
The slow burn in my stomach started to spread like wildfire outwards, reaching to from the ends of my fingertips down to my booted toes. I had promised myself I wouldn’t get drunk, but I didn’t feel drunk. This felt like something else entirely.
Something dangerous.
I swayed my hips backwards, bumping into the person behind me. Large hands came down onto my stomach and side, suggestively sliding downwards as our bodies moved together. I couldn’t see as I extended my arms upwards, wrapping them around the man’s neck behind me, while he continued his exploration of the front side of my abdomen.
I yelped as his fingertips brushed against the waistband of my shorts, sending little shockwaves down to the most sensitive part of my body and I turned in their arms. Abraham’s dark outline hovered over me and within a split second, I extended on my feet and slammed my lips against his.
His mouth battled against mine, and the strange warmth blossomed in the pit of my stomach. The music was gone in my head as I uncharacteristically ground myself against the front of him, like a bitch in heat.
What the fuck are you doing?
My brain couldn’t keep up with me and Abraham’s hands trailed down my back until he had a firm grip on my ass. I practically purred as he pulled me tighter against him, until I could feel his erection through our clothes.
Jesus fucking Christ.
My fingers tangled into his hair as he pulled one of my legs up to grind deeper against my core and I moaned into his mouth, biting down on his bottom lip. He groaned against me, even as our bodies tangled further into each other.
A single hand broke us out of the spell of each other and I looked back over my shoulder to see Ryker standing behind me. Without giving it even a second thought, I pulled one hand away from Abraham and wrapped it behind me around Ryker’s neck and pulled him in closer until he was firmly at my backside.
I looked between him and Abraham as they looked at each other. Ryker dismissed the competition between them and buried his face in my hair, his mouth nibbling at my neck as his hands slid forward to my front.
The warmth my body radiated increased, only cooled by their hands as they both devoured my mouth and soul. My eyes, half open, looked up at Abraham as he looked at Ryker over my shoulder and nodded. Suddenly, Ryker’s hands yanked against the top of my costume, buttons popping from the seam across my chest, as Abraham firmly pulled the buttons of my shorts open.
We groaned in unison.
What the hell are you doing, Jaylyn?
I looked around as Abraham’s mouth came down on my chest, and Ryker’s hands swirled heavenly circles around my naval, causing a brief distraction. Most of the others surrounding us were in similar compromising positions, unfazed by their shared lack of self-control.
Abraham grew impatient with my bra and tore it from the middle, my breasts springing free for only a second before his mouth resumed his task. His teeth grazed my nipples one at a time and I melted against Ryker at my back. His fingers lightly teased the juncture between my thighs, and he groaned into the crook of my neck, biting down.
I gasped. “Touch me.”
My voice sounded hoarse and unfamiliar.
Needing no other direction, his hand dove deeper into my shorts, to find me already wet and wanting, until his fingertips were inside me and I cried out as I shivered with an orgasm that racked my body almost instantly. Crushed between their bodies, I couldn’t move away, and Ryker trailed his fingertips slightly upwards to circle my clit as moaned into the top of Abraham’s head.
Impatiently, I reached with one hand for Abraham’s pants and made light work of removing the button and zipper, while my other hand trailed behind me to do the same to Ryker. I left a trail of featherlike touches as they both grew hard in my hands, moaning together as they slammed against me, crushing me between them.
Abraham reached forward and ripped my shorts the rest of the way, exposing me against the warm air of the tent. He wrapped my leg around his hip once again and I gasped as his length slammed into me. The sharp intake of air gave way to a guttural moan as he took his time pushing in and pulling out of me, achingly slow.
Ryker resumed his gentle assault against my clit as he used his other hand to grip my neck tightly, forcing my head to the side, his lips finding mine. The music drowned out my cries of pleasure as another orgasm peaked, stars dancing in the corner of my eyes.
Abraham kept his steady pace, only slowing to pull my remaining leg around his waist, both him and Ryker supporting my weight as Abraham fucked me. I wrapped my arms around Abraham’s neck to get rid of the sense of falling, as moans from the crowd deafened me.
What the hell was this?
Ryker crushed me against my back, tearing at my shorts until they easily dropped to the ground. He positioned himself behind me, biting down hard onto my shoulder as he slowly and carefully glided his shaft into my ass, using my own arousal to ease the process.
I screamed into Abraham’s chest at the fullness, Ryker still rubbing torturous circles around my clit, keeping me always at the brink of paradise. They stroked in unison and my mind went white as I crumbled into a waste of nerve endings. Moaning against Abraham as they used my body to bring us to a higher level of elevation.
They both shook with their emerging orgasms, and their hands squeezed me tightly as they quickened their pace. No longer able to hold back for my benefit. I panted as my body bobbed against them, groaning with the pleasure of being too full.
The three of us shook together as they slammed into me roughly when they came, our breathing labored, sweating from head to toe, covered in the slime of popped bubbles.
The crowd pushed around as Abraham set me down gently, others still wrapped up in each other passionately, and the burn in my stomach which had been sated from the act of being used now started its glow again. My head swam with renewed desire as I looked up at the two men that had satisfied me, uncaring that I was now partially exposed to a tent full of strangers.
“Again.” I reached for one of each their hands and turned, now giving Abraham my back so that I could look up at Ryker, desire heavy in his eyes.
Abraham cupped my breasts as Ryker dropped to his knees in front of me, pulling one of my legs across his shoulders. Abraham took his time as he trailed sharp bites down the length of my neck and I gasped as Ryker ran his tongue across my over-sensitive clit, causing me to buck until his hands kept me firmly in place.
I moaned loudly as they pleasured parts of me unknown. Ryker swirled his tongue around my clit painfully slow as Abraham grasped my breasts tightly into the palm of his hands. I lost myself with the sensation as the whir of the crowd heightened my state of arousal.
My back arched as the onslaught of another orgasm caused me to close my eyes tightly in fear of passing out. Ryker slowed his tongue as one hand trailed forward, two fingers entering me simultaneously. He stroked his fingers against me, until I was a barely standing puddle.
“Get the hell off of her.” My eyes blinked open, and I looked over before instantly coming down from the high I had been riding. The slow burn in my stomach expanded and my face flushed as my body released another gush with the sudden sense of arousal, coating the area between my legs.
Abraham and Ryker covered me as they righted themselves under the glare of Niklaus, his arms folded as he darted between looking at the crowd and looking at us. Strangely, I didn’t feel embarrassed as Abraham offered me his jacket and I slipped in on, zipping it up to cover everything that had been exposed.
“What the hell is going on?” He asked over the music.
“We…” I looked between the three of us before I looked back at Niklaus. “Don’t really know.”
“I feel like I’m on fire.” Ryker and Abraham complained in unison.
“I’m burning up, too.” I added.
I had to swallow hard to keep from attacking both of them again, much to the displeasure of my brother.
“We need to get you out of here.” Niklaus wrapped an arm around me and pushed our group to the front of the tent.
Once outside, crisp air burned against my legs, and I yelped. I felt like someone had stuck a white-hot iron against my skin. I jumped into the comfort that I found between both Abe and Ryker as my brother looked at us.
He stood in front of me. “Look at me.”
I looked up, groaning with the uncomfortable feeling of not being touched.
He took out a flashlight from his pocket and shined it directly in my eyes, going from one to the other. He looked displeased. He then followed suit with Abraham and Ryker. Giving a similar reaction to his inspection of them.
He turned his glare onto Chris.
“What the hell did you do?”
Chris put his hands up as Niklaus stalked forward. “Nothing, man. Just wanted to show everyone a fun time!”
“Like hell.” Niklaus snarled, ripping Chris up by the scruff of his shirt. “What the fuck did you give them? I won’t ask nicely again.”
“The alcohol.” He stammered. “It’s laced…”
“With what?” He growled.
“Intropin.” He said shakily and I tried to rack my brain on the name.
Giovanni leaned over to Nik. “Dopamine, Nick.”
“You’ll be lucky if I don’t kill you for this.” Niklaus threw Chris to the ground.
I still did not understand.
“What’s happening?” I shivered where I stood, feeling like I was being burned alive.
“You’ve been drugged with Dopamine Hydrochloride, Jay.” Giovanni tried to sound comforting. “It can raise your blood pressure, impair your judgment, and send your sex drive into hyperactivity if taken in too high of doses.”
I thought back to all the drinks we had consumed and the unnatural desire that was radiating from my core. I still wanted to be touched, to be fucked. The slow burn continued to spread.
“How long does it last?” I asked, trying to bring myself back down to a plane of reason.
“A couple hours.” Chris chimed in.
We all turned to glare at him.
Niklaus struck his foot out, kicking Chris in the nose, blood gushing out. “You made Elsie sick, you son of a bitch.”
“Elsie.” My mind tripped up. “Is she going to be okay?”
“Yeah. She is waiting in my car. I am going to take her home. Seems like after her initial nausea, she is exhibiting the same…symptoms. Giovanni, get these two back to your dorm. Abe, I’ll take you back to your place.”
I groaned in disappointment at the thought of Abraham not staying with us, the pleasure he had given me still heavy on my heated mind as we walked together back to where we had all parked.
I still wanted them both.
Together.
What the fuck was going on with me?