My head hurts.

I peel open my eyes and the pain only intensifies as a bright light pierces through my consciousness.

I groan. It’s the brightest light I’ve seen in a long time, setting fire to my eyeballs. I try to throw my hand over my face, but my body feels heavy and sluggish.

It also feels held back by something else.

“Easy.” The voice is a familiar rough murmur that glides over my skin. Or is that glide physical– I feel something soothing, and liquid on my body. It relaxes me and the pain in my temples reduces.

My vision clears somewhat as I open my eyes all the way. I squint against the light, as my eyes adjust and I can make out more shapes and figures.

The sky.

I’m looking at the sky.

It takes me a few seconds to realize why that’s such an odd occurrence. In that time, I also become aware that I’m surrounded by blue water as far as the eye can see, with the sun glittering on its surface. I’m lying on my back, but the water carries me effortlessly, little ripples sluicing over my body like they’re dragging away every bit of pain from me. Then I realize that I’m not just floating. There’s something beneath me, unyielding though gentle as it carries me along.

Something that feels remotely like fingers attacked to a giant palm.

And then the scent hit me, an unmistakably masculine scent. I finally turn my head from the glare of the sun and meet the familiar yellow eyes.

“Wolf.”

The word that leaves my throat is a ragged hoarse exclamation, that feels loud even though it's probably just a whisper. But he’s really in front of me, his eyes yellow and soft for all their intensity as they track down my face.

“Adria.”

The name drags out of him with a similar cadence, but his voice is rumbly as I remember. My breath catches in my throat and I finally have the strength to rise. Relief makes me ignore the fact that I'm naked as I throw my hands around his neck.

“You’re alive.” My voice breaks once again. I didn’t realize until now how much I’d been trying not to think of the possibility of him not being alive, because that thought terrified me.

Not just because I needed Wolf alive for my plan to work. But mostly because I couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

Wolf's arms hesitate for a minute in the air, before wrapping around my back so tightly that it’s hard to breathe for a few seconds. But I don’t complain. I want him to hold me like that. I want to crawl inside his skin if possible so that we’re never separated again. He’s the only thing that has ever made me feel safe in this crazy new existence of mine. The only one who has consistently made me feel like I could just rest on him.

As I hug him I realize that the forest is behind him and I can see the sky, but I don’t want to ask any questions. I just enjoy being in his arms as I pull back.

And then suddenly, he pulls back and his hand is on my cheek, before journeying into hair. He pushes me closer and then he presses his lips against mine.

The kiss is hesitant, but welcome. I can’t believe I thought I might never do this again. I could have died without kissing Wolf again. Once more, I’m surprised by how soft his lips are, how his desperate unguided movement speaks to a lack of experience. Wolf has always been a picture of contradiction, gentle and fierce all at once, seeming so capable but so naive on other things too. Especially in things like this.

Maybe I have no right to be doing this. I’m all wrong for him and he will someday move on from me to fall in love with the one he’s meant for. Maybe, I’m merely a footnote that occurs before the start of their story.

But right now, I don’t care. I’m okay with being the footnote for him, and I'm going to make every second we have together count.

I want to feel alive.

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I kiss him back, quickening it up, showing him the pace I want, until we fall into an easy rhythm. Well, easy is not the word for it, because his hand is grasping my hair, and his other hand trembles where it grips my waist. I can feel his entire body lightly trembling with the struggle to maintain control.

But I don't care if he loses it.

I don’t think that he'll hurt me and I trust him wholeheartedly.

It’s why I attempt to cage him in place by wrapping my legs around him This has him jerking and moaning into my mouth in the most lusty way that has a heartbeat setting off at the base of my stomach. The kiss gets wetter, as our tongues duel and dance. I move closer to him, belatedly aware of how naked we both are and wonder for a second how we got that way.

But my brain only works for that single second before I lose myself in the kiss again.

His hand tightens again, the clear symbol of control drawing thin.

I move slowly in his lap, brushing myself against his hardness. I want to take him inside me, but I have to be careful. He's large. I doubt he’ll make it all the way in but I want to try.

When my fingers brush against him he jerks, but doesn't escape before I wrap my hand around his base.

Then his head snaps back, eyes squeeze shut.

His face is twisted into a tortured grimace as I slide my hand up to the tip, waiting for his eyes to open. Even though I ache for him I don’t put him inside me yet. His first time, his only time, was not his choice. Someone took it from him and they will pay dearly for it.

But this time with me, I need it to be his choice. I need him to say yes, truly.

His eyes open and I try to ask the question with my gaze because I can’t ask it with my lips. I don’t have the presence of mind to do that right now so hopefully he can read me as well as he always does.

Wolf hesitates.

But not for the reason I fear.

“I don’t want to hurt you," He grits out, his chest heaving like he ran several yards. “I don’t...I’ll die if I hurt you.”

So sweet, my gentle giant.

“You won’t hurt me,” I assure him, forcing myself to breathe the words out. “Do you want me?”

He nods.

Then I slowly guide him to my center.

As I start to descend his eyes slide shut again. His shoulders bunch up and his hands grasp my waist, almost halting my progress, but he doesn’t seem to have the strength to stop it altogether. Or perhaps he has the strength, just not the willpower because he allows me to glide lower and lower, gripping his shoulders as I struggle to accommodate him. I bite my lip and moan as he scrapes all my nerve endings. This sensation...pain and pleasure melding as one...he seems to fill me up endlessly and we’re not even halfway down.

And the effect I have on him...

I pause my advance so I can study it. It’s intoxicating, watching his face slack with desire, his eyes rolling back in his scalp. His hands shaking in earnest now.

I continue to descend, going slower than slow.

And then we hit a wall, where I can’t go past that. It seems to be that there's still so much more of him to take, but I don't want to risk truly injuring myself.

At that point, I ascend, then descend again, taking a little more this time, as much as I can stand.

“Stop…” He says and I pause. “I don’t want to..."

"You won't hurt me."

"I will." His eyes squeeze shut and then I finally decide to prove it to him by forcing myself down and breaking the boundary.

I scream.

He yells and he grabs me, pushing me away. His hips follow, almost against his will. They seem to have a mind of its own, thrusting inside me like a mad animal. He moans and bites my shoulder, hard. I scream again as the pain tears through me, but then something else starts to happen. The pain and pleasure become one. I'm hyper-aware of every sensation, every touch, every thrust inching me closer to madness.

He keeps going.

"I’m..." he gasps. "I can’t stop God... nothing has ever felt this good. It feels like...I can’t stop."

"Then keep at it," I say as the animal takes over me too. It feels like he’s ripping me apart but I’m mending again and again, and craving more. The pleasure builds and overtakes the pain until the latter is an afterthought. I’m crying out for him to continue and saying a whole lot of filthy things that I probably don't mean.

Suddenly, a dam breaks inside me so spectacularly, I see stars.

I feel like I'm transcending space. My life is flashing before my eyes, highlighting every beautiful moment I've ever had. I sag into Wolf's arms weakly, and still he continues.

Until, with a final roar, muscles and veins start on his neck, he explodes inside me.

And then almost instantly, he's out of the water.

“Wolf wait," I cry out weakly and grab his ankle so he can't storm off. He freezes but doesn’t turn around. Even without seeing his face, I can tell his emotions. Shame.

"You didn't hurt me," I tell him. "I'm not hurt."

He doesn’t move, clearly not convinced.

I try another tactic.

"Wolf, I'm cold," I say. "Please, don’t go. Hold me."

And then finally he turns around and I see the torture in his yellow eyes. And another thing. They’re glowing.

What the...?

I table that thought for later, as Wolf picks me out of the water, laying me on the grass.

And then he brushes his lips over my body.

"I’m sorry," he says kissing the spots where his fingers bruised me. Then he kneels so he can reach the middle of my legs. "I’m sorry." He licks me there and I jerk.

No one has ever done that to me before. He does it again and pleasure unfurls inside me again, slower this time trickling out of me like the river.

After enjoying that for what feels like far too long, I hold his hair and tug.

"Wolf."

He obliges, coming up to lay beside me.

You tasted so good alive, Adria," he says, and for some reason, I snort.

"You taste good alive too, Wolf. And you felt good."

"You lie."

"I don’t lie." I meet his eyes and inject the honesty I feel into my gaze. "It felt wonderful Wolf. Absolutely wonderful."