“What if he discovers these are missing?” Jace asks as he pulls pieces of paper out of his breeches, placing them on the table.
“He won’t,” I tell him for what feels like the umpteenth time as I help straighten some of the pieces. “Tia only grabbed little scraps here and there. Stuff that didn't look too important.”
"And when the guards caught me I tried to escape out of the window, thereby dropping most of what I had into Jace's capable hands outside,” Tia says with a smile. “They’ll just assume whatever is missing was lost in the scuffle.”
“Precisely.” It's why I told her not to take anything that looked major or looked like something he would miss. Nothing on the shelves, nothing hidden in chests. That would definitely draw the Raven Lord’s attention and clue him in that this wasn’t simply an attempted robbery gone wrong.
Consequently, we only got scraps of information, but I figured with my knowledge of the future, we could piece together something that would satisfy the King enough to not have us flogged in the village square. Or worse.
"Mmm," Wolf murmurs. He's standing with us at his dining table and rubbing his chin. He doesn't seem any happier with the explanation this time than he was the last three times I gave it. He seems to be in a scolding mood and, for most of the night, stood with his arms crossed peering down at us as we tried to arrange the paper scraps on the table. He'll likely tell me his mind once the rest of the group is gone.
But for now, I don't focus on his ire.
I stare down at the pages with scribbles on them and bite my lip.
I have to make sense out of nonsense.
“Done,” Jace announces as he pulls the last scrap out and drops it on the table. We stare down at the pieces arranged, and then Jace finally gives word to what we're thinking.
“This all looks like gibberish.”
I nod. It does.
Most of the words on the page are in a different language. Some are symbols. Some simply looked like scribbles. None of it looks important.
Which is fine, because truly, this task wasn’t about getting important information on the Ravens for me. If it was, we would have taken something bigger, searched for military drafts or something. But that would have taken too long and bore more risk. That was not what this task was about.
This was just about appeasing the king.
But I don't know how we're going to do that with what we currently have.
“You couldn’t grab something in Universal Pangean?” Jace grumbles as he peers at the pages. "Or maybe one of the Western languages. At least I can read that."
“Sorry, I didn’t think to check while I was busy risking my life,” Tia mutters sarcastically as she palms the bag of gold in her hands. She’s been doing it since we returned, almost as if she can't believe what she's holding.
I ignore their squabbling and plant my head against the table, my eyes searching each page for something I can recognize.
But I've never seen most of these before.
I didn’t know the Ravens had their own language. Pearl never mentioned it. From what I can see, most of their language makes use of symbols too.
Symbols that are starting to shift around, thanks to my....what did Pearl call it? Dyslexia?
I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, before reopening it. I trace my hand on the pages using the technique Pearl gave me to sound out each letter.
And then I reach a familiar-looking structure, realization striking me.
“These look like alchemy,” I murmur.
“How do you know?” Savannah asks.
“Because she read a book,” Wolf responds. A glance shows that he's also staring down at the symbols with us. I'm tempted to ask him if he has any insight but then I remember he's not technically part of our group.
His group is contains Caster and Brute and he doesn't seem inclined to be a team player with them.
Then again, they're probably happier that he isn't there.
I return my attention to the page. The Raven Lord drew alchemy symbols on the side of the paper, next to the foreign language he penned. I don't know what most of the symbols are, but I recognized one that looks like a bird with glittering gems for eyes. The symbol for life.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
An unsettling familiarity runs through me and I shake my head. “I’ll have to ask Seir when I see him next. Maybe he'll give us a clue.”
“And in the meantime, the rest of us do what, twiddle our thumbs?” Savannah grins at me to take the bite out of her words. “I appreciate the fact that you’re essentially carrying this team on your back, but Paisley is right. You can’t do all the thinking for us. We have to pull our weight too.”
"I’m not doing all the thinking.” I'm stunned that she would think I was. I glance around to see everyone staring at me with a look that suggests they agree with her. “I’m not.” I insist.
“Yes, you are,” Jace says. “And Savannah is right. We need to pull our weight. Let’s try to see if we can figure something out too. My brother is good with languages, I can ask him to help us translate."
"And I know a translator in Elliot. I'll send him a letter. It might take a while to hear back though," Sav says.
“Yes but just so we’re clear, I’m not carrying this team on my back," I say. "We couldn’t have pulled that off without Tia’s amazing athletic ability nor your dancing skills, Savannah. And Jace was the one who ultimately enabled our escape by getting the guards away from their posts so he could capture the pages Tia tossed him. I couldn’t have done anything without you guys.”
Jace grins. “Well when you put it like that boss lady, you’re right."
Tia winks. "She doesn't mean it. She's just saying that to make us feel good."
"I do mean it!"
“Aww, she's blushing. How adorable.” Savannah tugs me closer, pulling me into a hug. Wolf growls and Savannah snaps at him, “Oh shush. I’m only holding her for a moment.”
I wrap my hands around her waist and hold her tight, allowing myself to bask in overwhelming joy at the fact that she's alive. Sav was my best friend in my last life, and we were close in ways even Wolf and I weren’t.
I pull back and duck my head a little wiping a trace of moisture from the corner of my face.
“Is she crying?” Tia whispers.
“I think she might be," Jace whispers back.
“I’m not,” I say but I really may be. I'm just overwhelmed with emotion. It's odd that just a few short months ago, I felt like I had nothing and no one. It reminded me of when I was barely getting by in the richest city in the world, and then rotting in prison, alone. Always alone. No family. Everyone who cared about me was gone.
But now I have a team with me, a little pseudo-family.
And I'll protect them with everything I have so I never lose them again.
Wolf eventually drags me from Savannah's arms and into his.
And I also have Wolf. I realize. For however long I can keep him.
***
I pull the covers tight around me, staring at the frost webbing over the windows, shards of ice jaggedly filling each crack.
Winter has descended and now even Wolf’s heavy coat isn't enough to keep me warm.
When it gets so biting cold like this, it's hard not to remember the past. The starvation. The freezing to death. Alone.
I fight the thoughts with memories of this evening filled with warmth. Despite our lack of progress, it was a good night. We sat around the table Savannah teasing Wolf, who was still grumpy about the heist, Tia and Jace bantering back and forth and me quietly watching them. Jace kept trying to insist that Tia hand him some of the loot, but she wasn’t willing to part with it and wanted to know what he had to offer her in return.
I thought it was their version of flirting but I wasn’t sure since I’d only ever flirted with one man.
Even the memory of Caster wasn't enough to ruin my mood tonight. The past almost seems like a dream now, everything that happened in my other lives so distant and dreary. I’ve already come so far that it feel like I'm a whole new person. I feel...happy.
But at the same time, it also terrifies me.
For most of my past life, I only had to worry about protecting myself and keeping my head. Everyone else who I tried to protect, I failed.
Now I have people who trust me, who implicitly follow my lead even when they don't always understand it. I have more to protect.
More to lose.
I’ve lost people before. Friends I met on the way when I first escaped from the North. Those I met in my third life.
I lost them all at one point or another.
I don't want to lose anymore.
I take a deep breath to suppress the slight panic clawing up my throat. I feel anxious but that can't be helped. It's always like this after a major mission. I try not to focus on it, running my thoughts back through the day instead, trying to identify any mistakes I may have made along the way.
I remember Lord Farrow's shrewd eyes. I wonder if we truly deceived him. Even though I know we put on a good act, I wonder if that was enough, or if, perhaps, we were only fooling ourselves.
And I also wonder at the guilt that still settled in my chest, for meeting his kindness with betrayal as we did. I don't know if I'll ever get over that.
My thoughts quickly shift to the King and what I'm going to do about him. I had a plan but now I'm hesitating. I think about Tyne's offer again and again, the temptation to take it stronger than ever.
It would be the easiest way to protect my friends, even if it means being under Tyne's thumb once more. Would it be worth it? To sell my soul in that way again? Would it work this time?
Nevertheless, all the thoughts can't distract me from the biting cold as a cough spreads out in my chest and climbs out of my throat. I release it and turn toward the wall, huddling tighter.
Almost immediately, I feel a presence behind me but before I can turn around, a large heavy form climbs into bed.
I don't jerk. Although I'm surprised by his appearance, I know who it is. His scent surrounds me and I know the hands that spread across my belly like I know my own.
“What are you doing?" I inquire, more curious than scared. After the rest of the group left, I went straight to bed, too exhausted to do much else and Wolf left the cottage too.
But now he cradles me against his chest without saying a word. He pulls the covers over both of us, but his body heat keeps me toastier than the blanket, slowly getting rid of the chill in my bones.
"Wolf?" There's a question in my voice, one I'm hoping he'll answer positively.
He shakes his head into my hair. "Shh. Go to sleep."
But it's difficult to relax. I'm so hyper-aware of him and his body warmth. He feels...scorching. Too hot.
Not to mention the other thing I can feel poking into my back.
“Wolf?”
“Ignore it,” he says. “Go to bed.”
It doesn't look like he's giving me a choice on the matter, so I sigh and settle back shutting my eyes once more.
And eventually, as my muscles relax, I have a distinct drowsy thought:
I’m not cold anymore.