“It's not a price you can pay.”

The witch’s statement rings in my head even days later, as I muse on her meaning.

Pearl still hasn’t woken up for longer than ten minutes and each time she’s awake, the conversations become more and more delirious. Or at least, the Raven Lord tells me as much. He has not permitted me to visit often, both because he doesn't entirely trust me yet, and also to keep the King's suspicion at bay.

And as I suspected, he knew already that it was the King who plotted to poison them. The man is more dangerously astute than I gave him credit for.

But the Raven Lord does let me visit Pearl one more time, and during that visit, we discuss her condition.

“Do you think it’s the King?” I ask as we both watch Pearl rest on a comforter, eyes shut and face pallid. "Do you think he created a more sophisticated poison?"

“I don’t think so,” he says. “We know most of the Northern Poisons and more. As I told you, we took elixirs to counteract them. It’s the only way I would have let Pearl come on this journey in the first place.”

“Ah. So the King’s first poison would not have affected her.”

“Would have been a minor inconvenience at most if you hadn’t stepped in,” he says. "But it's kind of you to try regardless."

I duck my head guilty once again. I didn't really try though. He thought I did what I did to save his daughter, but I didn't. Or rather, I only saved her, because saving her would also save the North.

Which would in turn save my friends.

“I’m not who you think I am," I say to Lord Raven.

“I’m not who you think I am either,” he responds. "But for now, I want to focus all my energy on reviving my daughter, rather than going through all the ways we've lied to each other. When is your healer coming back?”

“Soon.” I’m not sure what important task the king sent Seir out to do – although I suspect it has to do with Wolf's mother – but since the final trials are in a few days. I imagine he'll be back by then.

“I’ve sent for a healer from the South. They should be here any day now." His eyes are clearly worried and once again, I feel extreme pity for him.

I wonder whether to reveal what I know.

Putting everything together, I'm almost certain that the True Heart Gem is in the Black Forest, perhaps hidden amongst the glittering obsidian on the ground. It would make the most sense. Seir likely came upon it somehow in his past life and that helped him find the Cure. It's also why the Ravens are here and being so gracious despite King Drogo's rudeness.

Although how exactly the Ravens learned that the gem was in Accacia, I may never know.

But knowing that the Gem is in the Forest and getting it out are two different things.

For one thing, it's too dark to make out anything on the forest floor. I can't even see unless the Forest lets me.

Secondly, and most importantly, the Forest clearly communicated that if we ever went back it would kill us.

"Pearl's mother," I hate to approach this topic but I have to ask. "Is this how her illness began too?"

The pain on the Raven Lord’s face only magnifies. “Yes and no. It wasn't this sudden. It was a year-long battle, where she would constantly fall sick with minor illnesses that increasingly became more and more serious until eventually, she took to her bed and never woke up. But Pearl has been healthy this whole year. She's been healthy for a while actually, for so long that I thought...." He doesn't complete the sentence, but I already know what he's going to say.

He thought the disease had skipped Pearl.

"So if what Pearl is going through right now is different, then perhaps it's not The Stiffening. Maybe it's something else."

“Perhaps.” But there's a painful resignation in his voice that makes me regret even trying to give him hope in the first place.

"Don't give up,” I say firmly in a tone that has him looking at me. “We'll find a solution.”

The Raven Lord offers me a crooked, weak smile. “You sound sure of yourself.”

I shrug. I'm not sure of myself necessarily, but I am sure of Seir. He grows to become one of the greatest alchemic legends of our generation. I’m sure he can figure out an illness such as this.

What a mess.

I thought I averted this ending, thought that Pearl escaped fate.

No one ever truly escapes fate.

The voice of the creature in my head frustrates me and I want to lash out at it. But I don't.

Because what if it's right?

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

What if that's why I keep repeating this loop, dying over and over again?

What if this is my version of purgatory to continuously and hopelessly try to alter the end of the story?

And what if I can't change my destiny and I just need to accept it and my eventual death so I can move on to wherever souls go when they die?

If all that's true, then bringing you back to life would be pointless, wouldn't it?

Yes, it would. Which confuses me all over again.

I can’t help but blame myself for what's happening. Maybe I did something wrong or didn't see the picture clearly enough to prevent this. Perhaps my saving Pearl at the dinner, caused the Ravens to let their guards down so the King could safely enact another scheme. Or maybe I unknowingly gave the King an idea that he would use to refine his poison.

Either way, my chest is heavy, my mind a fog. Guilt, my constant companion lately, amplifies the silence that hangs between us.

Pearl and I haven't known each other for long, so maybe I shouldn’t feel this affected by her demise. But I stare at her face and remember how she laced her arms through mine without shame, without reservation. I picture her inquisitive eyes, glittering as she taught me how to read and imbibe new information without getting confused by the words. And then there was her offensive way of speaking, which was frankly funny sometimes.

I recall how eager she was to share information, how even when she called me stupid, it didn't feel like she was mocking me.

Even when she laughed at my ignorance, it was out of true delight because there was something she could teach me that I didn’t know.

I've never ascribed to the Northern philosophy that all Pangeans are inherently bad people.

But I've never met a native Pangean who inspired such pleasant feelings in me before.

I have to help her live, one way or another.

***

The Elite hopefuls gather in the castle hall the next day to receive our task for the last stage of the final trial.

The meeting is a lot more somber than all the previous ones. We’re so close to the finish line already, but at the same time, so much has been lost.

Most teams are down a team member. One of the twins is missing and the other has a wound that covers half his face in bandages.

I heard their team's mission took them to the Midlands and they unfortunately ended up tangling with the Pirates. And anyone who has ever met a Pirate knows how bloodthirsty and vengeful they can be.

All things considered, our team is the only team that isn’t worse for the wear.

Ironic since we were considered the underdogs.

And Jace smugly mentions it to me, but I shake my head in admonition. No matter what, I don’t get any satisfaction from the loss of life, no matter whose it might be.

Actually, that's not true.

There are a few people I would like to see dead, but most of them are very bad, sadistic people.

But barring that...I don't celebrate most deaths, even if it was someone like Brute.

Speaking of which, I notice him watching me. He only meets my gaze for one short moment before Wolf growls and he looks away. It’s not long enough to read his expression, but I can't help but wonder what that was about.

When I turn to my partner, he's staring right at Brute. I know Wolf's still mad about the incident with the barbarians and Brute is on thin ice eyeing me again. Plus Wolf was already in a bad mood because he lost Seir's trail while hunting him down and came back yesterday grouchy. I told Wolf that, they likely used a portal at some point and that was why he lost their scent. Skilled Sorcerors in the South used portals all the time to mask their path. It would be difficult to find her by simply following them. So I suggested that after Seir's return, we could just ask Seir where he went, but Wolf is getting understandably impatient to find his mother.

So this is definitely not to the time for Brute to get on his nerves.

But then Brute turns around again and stares right back at him as though daring him to act. I guess his pride gives him dumb courage.

“Relax,” I tell Wolf, a hand on his arm but he merely grunts without taking his eyes off Brute. This catches Caster's attention and he glances over the two of us and then over to where my hand rested on Wolf’s. His eyes flare wide open and anger seethes on his expression.

Anger and something that looks suspiciously like regret.

Maybe a past me would have felt gratified knowing he felt something at the sight of me with another man. I would have been tempted to take it as evidence that the Prince cares for me. But right now, I know what he truly feels isn't love. Merely an annoyance that someone else gets to play with one of his toys.

Tyne interrupts the stare-off, strolling into the hall with his snowboots that still manage to make that clickety-clackity sound.

“Nice to see you all well and rested." He grins as though he just told a joke, and his eyes linger on the bandaged face of the twin. Loathing twists his face for a second, but he says nothing before ripping his gaze away.

“Now the final task," he continues, “Is going to be one that will test your strength and push your boundaries. It will separate the weakest from the strongest, and drive all of you to the very brink. And if you win, it will launch you into a different stratosphere of strength beyond your wildest limits."

That piques everyone's interest. Suddenly, the mood isn't as somber.

The end is on the horizon. We can all taste the honor, the glory.

I don't care about those.

What I really want is the promise of power, the thing that sets the Elite Soldiers apart from just any other warrior.

That extra power they wield. I want it.

Tyne glances around the room, pausing for dramatic effect. “For years, the Dark Forest has been said to be dangerous and deadly for humans to enter. It's said to kill those who enter, or at least curse them with madness.

But intelligence gathered from your first trip to the forest tells me that this isn't true." His eyes flicker to me in particular as he continues. "There are those who can venture into the forest and survive. And it seems that all of you here have the natural resistance needed to at least survive a few hours in the first and second sections. That's already impressive. But your new objective will be to become build on that. Venture deep into the forest. There lies a gem at the heart of a tree shaped like a child. You will collect the gem, come out and present it to your king. That is your task for the final trial."

No one says anything. Not even a gasp can be heard nor can a single breath.

It's like the combination of shock and horror sucked all the sound out of the room.

The Dark Forest nearly destroyed us before. But now he wants us to go in there for God knows how long, and come out with a gem.

Is he trying to kill us? Is the king mad?

No. Maybe there's a catch. He wouldn't kill his only living son.

I turn to Caster, whose face looks just as pale as the rest of us.

Oh God, there's no catch.

After all, the King sent his son on a dangerous meeting already. He could have been gored by the boar too.

But the King didn't seem to care.

He just may have gone mad after all.

"Oh, I forgot to mention," Tyne says. "That there is no opting out of this final task. The fact that you've come this far shows a desire to devote yourself to the King and become a hero of the North. We already regard you as our soldiers and, as a reminder, soldiers do not desert. Anyone who attempts to shirk this responsibility will be banished from the village, and be charged with crimes against the Crown. If you try to leave the forest before finding without the gem, you will be killed on sight. In other words, become heroes, or die trying."