“Do you think we have a chance?”

I whisper the words to the air on the long walk back to Wolf's cottage. The snowfall is heavier today, inches building on the ground. The sun hides behind frothy clouds, leading to a gloomy, frigid atmosphere.

With that, most of the town has cleared out, heading home to bundle up for the freezing night. We still pass a few stragglers before we curve into the clearing and most of them stare at us. But the stares don't last as long anymore. I suppose most people have gotten quite used to seeing Wolf and me together.

And there are no longer sneers or animosity when their gazes fall on me either.

Once, I thought I even saw an admiring look.

It was the strangest thing and I didn't know how to respond to I simply looked away. So bizarre.

Maybe it's because Wolf is here with me.

Or maybe that's the power of being almost an Elite Soldier, I realize. All prior shortcomings fade away. I'm no longer the Muzungu lover of the Prince with an abusive mother.

I'm now one of the warriors who protect the North and the other villages from attack.

That, I suppose, warrants me some respect and admiration.

And even though I'm not doing this for praise, I can't deny it does feel good to earn their respect on my own, without being attached to Prince Caster.

But when Wolf and I enter the clearing of the field leading to the cottage, with only the soft breeze to accompany, I feel the fear sinking in. I finally let myself utter the question out loud.

Wolf doesn’t answer first. I'm walking a little behind him but for the most part, I'm keeping up. He slows his pace for me nowadays, but today he's walking slower than usual. Perhaps he's tired. He’s gone most nights now, still searching for his mother. And during the day, he returns with the clear frustration in his features.

He has managed to sneak into almost all the King’s strongholds yet he hasn’t found Errila yet.

Urgency and anger emanate from him constantly now.

Yet, he never once doubts my words. He never asks me if I’m sure of what I saw, and he has never once questioned my prophecy. He trusts me.

And it’s at once the most exhilarating and daunting thing I can imagine.

This man, respected by so many, and feared by many more, simply takes my word for it and follows what I say.

Not only that, he protects me.

And he stares at me with such heat in his eyes sometimes, but he never approaches unless I make the first move. Because he doesn’t want to scare me.

The abuse I faced with the merchant is always at the back of my mind, but somehow it fades with every second spent in Wolf’s presence, replaced by the infernal hunger for him. But we’re both waiting.

I’m not sure what for.

“A chance at what?” Wolf answers after a few seconds, and I realize I even forgot I asked him a question, too busy thinking and admiring his back muscles.

“Survival,” I say when I get my mind back. “In the dark forest.”

He hesitates. It must be a difficult question for him since he goes into the Dark Forest and survives all the time. But Wolf isn’t like the rest of us. I’m not entirely sure how he’s different yet, but I know that he is.

“It depends,” Wolf says and though the words are hopeful, his expression is anything but. It's quite grave.

“Depends on what?”

He hesitates. “If I tell you to not participate, would you?”

“You heard the king,” I say. “Anyone who doesn’t participate is going to get banished or killed.”

"Not if you leave first.”

“You mean run away from the village?" I've done it before and got nothing but death to show for it. "I'm not sure that's possible. I don't have a stead and will likely die before I make it far out."

“I know a way out," Wolf says. "A way you can leave without a stead and go far away."

But I shake my head. “That’s not the answer.” There's nowhere I can go to hide from this. Without me, the North will fall again and I can't let it happen.

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Besides, if I leave, there'll be no one to protect Jace, Tia, and Savannah on this final task. I'm not sure they can even hear the mage of the forest talking.

But I can, and so maybe I can negotiate with the mage, tell them what we want, and listen to their terms.

"What are our chances of victory if I stay?"

"Like I said, it depends."

"On what?"

“On her mood.”

“Whose mood?” I ask and he gestures to it with his head.

“The Dark Forest.”

He refers to it as a personality and there are so many confusing things I want to ask, but I land on, “The forest is a she?”

“I’ve always thought so,” he says. “ Temperamental. Irrational. It sounds like a woman.”

I hit him in the arm and he offers me a wry grin. Still, my mind is whirling. I always thought that I was speaking to a mage in the forest, not the actual forest itself.

Although, I suppose, a sentient forest makes as much sense as anything else that has happened so far.

“She has been angry at all the intrusions lately,” he says. “She likes to be left alone.”

“We would like to leave her alone too,” I respond. "But the King keeps sending us there." This will be our second collective voyage into the dark forest. Fourth for me, if you count the thing with Jace, and waking up there. No five. I also ran in there to avoid the thugs.

But this is the second for most of the Elite hopefuls. And it's more times than happened in the past.

I wonder about that sometimes, why fate seems to be taking me back to the Dark Forest over and over again in this life. It didn't do that any of the other lives.

Why did I awake in the Dark Forest in the first place? On that note, why do I keep reawakening? Where does this strange power of mine originate from and who is controlling it?'

I take a deep breath to soothe the panic.

One thing at a time. If I think about too many things, then my head will explode.

“What do you think the Kings’ plan is?” Despite everything I know about King Drogo, I never thought he would send us to our deaths no reason. Especially since that death isn't occurring in war, or in the arena, where his mob can be amused by it. Our death does not serve to reinforce the glory of the North.

Instead, this death will happen in the forest, after quietly losing our breaths or our minds, and never finding our way back.

It feels pointless.

There has to be a catch, a reason for this that I'm not seeing yet.

“Who knows,” is Wolf’s only answer.

But there's an inflection in his voice that tells me he's lying. Wolf knows what the King wants.

Whether or not he'll tell me the secret, is another thing altogether.

I know he wants us to find a gem. Based on the description, it's not the True Heart Gem.

But what are the odds of me needing to find two different Gems and both being in the Dark Forest?

Could they be linked? Could he be looking for the ingredients to a cure too?

Whatever it is, the King's recent obsession with the forest worries me. Mostly because, it's something I didn't account for.

While lost in my thoughts, we finally arrived at our home. I grin as Wolf makes a beeline for the baking tray waiting by stove. I'd baked a cake yesterday and Wolf only took a few moaning bites this morning before choosing to save the rest for later.

He goes over there now and cuts a big piece, shifting it onto a plate.

He brings it to us, then he slices a piece with his fork and holds it to my mouth.

“Thank you,” I say as I take it from him. As my lips close over the fork, his eyes meet mine, and for a second, it's hard to swallow, or breathe.

I glance away so I can chew and eat without looking like an idiot.

“I’ll protect you,” he says suddenly. “But I’m not sure I can for the rest.”

“Can you see in the forest?” I ask him and to my surprise, he shakes his head.

"She doesn't make the light appear for you?"

He cocks his head with confusion and then shakes his head again.

"Huh." Then why did she do it for me? "So how do you navigate it when you're in there?"

"I sense,” he says. "You can't trust your eyes in the Forest. You only see what she wants you to see. And some of it isn’t real. Bear that in mind."

I nod, my mind working.

So what I saw last time, the gems on the ground, could have been an illusion. Was it? But then, Jace saw it too. Why would she show us that? She should have known that human would naturally attempt to take one.

Touch nothing.

Was it a test, to see if we could withstand our greed?

Was that the pretext she would use to kill us? Why did she need a pretext? Why not just kill us?

It's all so confusing, and part of me wants to give up, but I know the more I understand about the forest, the better our chances of getting out of this alive. "So what do we do if we can't trust our eyes?"

"You'll have to use some of your other senses to navigate."

"What other senses? Smell? Touch? I thought we're not supposed to touch anything."

Wolf cocks his head to the other side, considering the question. Then he stands. “She can manipulate those things too. But not if you sense from here.” He lays a large palm over his belly and then holds out his other hand.

I take it and he draws me out of my seat, shifting his palm from his belly to mine.

“Do you feel that?

"Uh..." I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling. I'm too distracted by the heat behind his palm and the intensity of his eyes.

They bear into mine.

"Focus on your energy."

"My energy?"

"Yes. Internal energy. It's called Mana in the North. In the West, they have another name for it."

"Oh." I think back to what Savannah told me when she was teaching me Mazai.

A lot of your strength lies inwards. So do your limits.

Amazing things happen when you wield the inner strength to defeat the pain of the outer flesh.

But then it doesn't make sense with what Wolf says next. "Focus on your internal mana, pull it out. Let it guide you."

"How do I find this energy?"

"Take deep slow breaths with your hand pressed against this spot," he says, drawing my hand up to replace his palm."Then there should be something you feel. A prickly heat. Imagine your hand wrapping around the heat and tugging on it."

I take a deep breath and shut my eyes. I take deep slow breaths, meditating like Savannah taught me to a lifetime ago. I focus on it for so long following his guidance. But I feel nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

"Do you feel it?"

I shake my head opening my eyes.

His eyes are puzzled. "Are you sure? It might be too mild to really help you, but you should feel something at least."

I feel nothing in my abdomen. Nothing but the heat of my palm and the racing of my heart. "Is that bad?"

He doesn’t say anything, but worry adds to the puzzlement in his gaze.

"Stay close to me tomorrow," he says. "Don’t leave my side for a second."