I don't sleep much during the night.

My thoughts constantly flit to many different matters, from Pearl to Seir and just where on earth he and Wolf's mother are, and then finally to our incoming journey to the Dark Forest.

Oddly enough, Pearl seems to take up a larger space of my worries.

Her periods of awakening are growing even shorter. I'm unsure what happens when she stops awakening entirely, or if it will even be possible to save her by then.

Ideally, that won't happen, because I'll find the True Heart Gem in the forest.

The Raven Lord described it in detail, a ruby-colored diamond-shaped gem that seemed to pulse with energy. But even if I could see enough to somehow search for it amongst the various gems littered on the forest floor, I still don't know if I'd be able to identify it.

And that's presuming we live long enough for that.

I wish Seir was back so I could talk more about it with him. I wish I had asked more questions about the forest and his thoughts on that. If this True Heart Gem really is the key to the Cure, then he may know what to do.

I would have asked him, had I known then what I know now.

I sigh and turn over, eyeing the daybreak peeking through the clouds outside. The snow is falling in gentle tufts, the air frosty but I don't feel cold. I'm bundled up in Wolf's coat, and that's keeping me toasty. That and his warm arms wrapped around me.

I'm glad he's here with me tonight. We're going into the Dark Forest for God knows how long and despite what Wolf says, there’s a very real possibility that I will die in that forest. So at least I get to spend my last night like this

I shiver at the thought and feel Wolf's hand traveling down my back. It grounds me like an anchor. And suddenly, I have so many regrets running through me. Regrets of wasting so much time doing this dance with Wolf without telling him what I really want. We’re both attracted to each other but refuse to cross the boundary that I've erected. Wolf has followed my lead because he doesn't want to scare me.

I should have told him that he didn’t scare me. He couldn’t scare me now even if he tried.

Ironic considering how terrified I was of him when we met.

Until I realized his gruff exterior hid a heart of gold, the heart of a man who protected those he cared for. A man who made me hot meals without fail every day and got me a beautiful coat because I was cold.

A man who taught me to slay my demons and stood by to handle the ones I couldn't. He risked his life to save me and threatened a King for me.

He never demeaned or belittled me, and seemed to trust me implicitly even when ration would dictate that he shouldn’t.

A man that’s not yours.

But even the censure is enough to stop the fantasies as I turn over to stare at Wolf's face.

I wish he was mine. I wish I had more time. I trace a finger over his bushy eyebrows and down the hair lining the side of his face. I scratch through his stubble that often imprints on my neck.

Being able to touch him like this is already a lot, an honor I don't deserve.

And this may be the last chance I ever get to do it.

The finality rings in my head, piercing me with a sense of mortality that I haven't felt since my first life.

This is your last chance.

I must live.

I have to somehow fight that forest and win.

My thumb passes over those seductive lips, and regret pulses in my chest again.

I should have taken what he offered all those weeks ago.

By God, don’t I deserve just one moment of happiness one moment of pure and utter selfishness after everything? Can’t I just for once have one thing I crave so badly?

Suddenly, Wolf's eyes flutter open to full alertness telling me that he’s been awake for quite some time. It doesn’t surprise me. Wolf could wake up at the sound of a cricket on the floorboard.

In my third life, when we camped outside, he would be awake and on his feet at the first sign of threat, while Savannah and I were still groggily wondering what was happening.

This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

And now he’s staring at me, as I stare back at him.

"Wolf." The whisper leaves my lips and his hand clenches around my waist. Last night I didn’t have much to do but think and it's mentally exhausted me. I don't have the energy to push him away anymore when he leans in the kiss me.

A knock sounds on the door.

Wolf growls loudly at the intrusion. We both know what that knock means.

“It’s time,” I remark sadly.

I wish we had more time.

I try to rise but Wolf's arm don't loosen.

Then he put his hand around the back of my neck and drags me into a hot kiss that melts my bones and drives all thoughts of the soldiers at the door from my head.

"Stay close to me,” he says when he finally lets me go. The knock is more insistent this time and Wolf storms up and out of the room. I hurry after him in time to see him to grasp the door handle.

The soldier at the door nearly balks when Wolf throws open the heavy wooden doors and glowers at him.

He instinctively recoils but then force himself back into place assuming a bold and unintimidated stance.

“The king has summoned you to begin the final trial.”

“We bloody well know it,” Wolf growls making the man tighten his hold on his weapon. “You couldn’t wait five minutes?"

"I-"

"Wolf, stop scaring him," I say.

But Wolf just growls looking more irritated than I’ve seen him in a while. He bends until his face is a nose away from the Soldier's and says, "I wonder how well you can knock if I cut off both hands at their wrist."

"Stop, Wolf." I take Wolf's hand as the man swallows. His gaze swivels to me, in plea. "He’s just doing his job."

Wolf doesn’t seem ready to let it die.

"Let’s go get ready. We don't have much time."

Wolf finally sighs and nods, closing the door in the Soldier's face.

The trek to the Dark Forest is a familiar one but somehow it feels longer than the last time. I'm completely out of my depths and have no other plan in mind other than to stick as close to Wolf and make sure my team members do the same.

Except now there are no more team members. The teams have been dissolved and we're supposed to work together as a unit to achieve our goal.

I snort to myself. I can imagine how well that will work.

But let's try to be optimistic for now.

As we appear on the clearing, I see that most of the others are already here. Paisley, Brute, and Caster are all standing in a circle whispering amongst themselves. Most of the other hopefuls stick close to them. Tia and Jace stand next to each other and Savannah is arriving from the other side with a soldier much like we were.

I notice that neither of the twins are here.

"Where’s Page?" I ask Jace as I reach the clearing.

Jace shrugs but then the soldier standing in front of him says, "He's not participating. He fled the Village."

"We're allowed to do that?" Jace asks.

"He'll be caught and bear the consequences."

I shudder. Knowing how sadistic the King is, that punishment is likely going to be worse than a simple death in the forest.

I glance around. There are only about thirty of us. Less than half of our starting number. How many have died already or gotten hurt? How many fled like Page and how many simply didn't pass the King's arbitrary qualifications?

That's another thing I haven't figured out – why the King bothered with all those other task if this was his ultimate goal. Wouldn't it be better for him to have more of us go into the forest? Why would he whittle down our numbers with all those trials?

"So we’re complete?" Brute asks. "Because I would very much like to get on with this."

"That eager to die, friend?" Savannah quip.

He frowns at her. "Oh, I’m not the one who's going to be dying. I've learned a trick or two from our last voyage,"

"Oh?" Savannah raises her eyebrow. "Care to share?"

"The Forest respects the strong. You just have to show it that you can be its master."

It doesn't take Wolf's sardonic expression for me to know what Brute said is bullshit.

Although, if that were true, it would make sense why the King only sends those who passed the rest of the trials. I suppose, by definition, we are the strongest.

Jace and I lock gazes. I see the apprehension and fear that we both share. We clearly both remember how we almost died in the forest the last time we were here and how unpleasant an experience that was.

"Stick to Wolf," I mouth to him and he nods. I do the same thing to Tia and Savannah the latter of whom comes to swing her hand around Wolf's shoulders.

"I guess you're our leader for today, Wolfie."

Wolf grunts in response but he doesn't look like he likes the title or the nickname very much.

“Who made him a leader?” Brute asks.

“Do you have a better idea?” Savannah challenges. “Wolf is the only who has gone into that forest many times and come out sane.”

“So has Prince Caster,” Brute points out and we all turn to Caster. He’s eying Wolf and I with a strange look in his eyes and Wolf is watching him too.

“The Prince was the only reason we completed that last voyage into the forest,” Brute continues. “The King also sent us back here with a secret mission. Caster taught us how to see in the forest, using breathing techniques and focus, pulling out your mana from inside." He leers at Savannah. "I could teach you if you ask real nicely."

"I'd rather eat nails," she responds with a sweet smile.

I, on the other hand, am blinking at Caster in surprise. That breathing technique sounds oddly like what Wolf told me.

I wonder how he knew that. Did his father tell him?

How long has the King known this technique and why isn't it common knowledge?

"Enough talking." One of the Elite Soldiers calls out. "Time to start."

We nod and grumble as we walk into the forest. The fear is thick in the air, thicker than the fog, and I swallow past it.

Wolf's hand finds mine as we reach the edge of the forest and enter.

I don't bother looking behind me as the light gets thinner and thinner.

"How do we see?" One of the boys from the other teams asks Brute, desperation in his tone.

"Why should I tell you?"

"Aren't we supposed to work together?"

"Yes but why should I bother with you? You're too weak so the forest will kill you anyway."

It's too dark to see the boy's expression but I can sense his indignation in the air. I don't blame him. Even in a situation like this, Brute remains an ass.

I know the second we cross over into the second section of the forest.

The darkness is abnormal, the air eerily silent. I take a deep breath and try to center myself, pulling at something but I don't feel anything is inside me. All I can do is focus on Wolf’s hand in mine.

And then just like that, the ground rumbles, and the forest growls.

Wolf squeezes my hand once more.

"It's coming," he says as dread douses me.