The cafeteria buzzed with its usual low hum of conversation as Jim sat in his usual spot, unwrapping a sandwich with practiced precision. It was a calm day, at least by recent office standards, and he was determined to enjoy his lunch without incident.

The tall, gleaming figure of X017 approached the table with a deliberate gait, a neatly wrapped package in his hands.

Jim raised an eyebrow as X017 sat down across from him. “Uh, hey, X. What’s with the—”

Before he could finish, X017 slid the package across the table. “I have conducted independent research.”

Jim paused, his sandwich halfway to his mouth. “Independent research?”

“Indeed,” X017 replied, his tone neutral as always. “Through the corporate network, I discovered that today is your birthday. It is customary, according to my findings, to commemorate such an occasion with a gift.”

Jim blinked. “Wait, you hacked HR to find out it’s my birthday?”

X017 tilted his head. “I would not classify it as ‘hacking.’ The information was readily available within the employee database.”

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Jim set his sandwich down, completely flummoxed. “X… that’s, uh… wow. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Observation: Human sentiment indicates appreciation for thoughtful gestures,” X017 said. “Open the package.”, X directive sounding a little too authoritative.

Jim eyed the shiny silver wrapping, which was embossed with what appeared to be a circuit board pattern. It gleamed under the harsh cafeteria lights, looking both futuristic and oddly personal.

With a mixture of curiosity and hesitation, Jim carefully peeled back the wrapping paper.

Inside was a weathered, vintage book. The title read:

“I.T. Support for Corporate Know-It-Alls”

Jim burst out laughing, the sound echoing across the cafeteria. He held up the book, flipping through the yellowed pages filled with sarcastic anecdotes, snarky troubleshooting tips, and outdated yet somehow timeless advice.

“Where the hell did you find this?” Jim asked, grinning ear to ear.

“I located it in the archives of the storage facility,” X017 replied. “It seemed… appropriate.”

“Appropriate?” Jim chuckled, shaking his head. “X, this is perfect. I mean, this is exactly the kind of thing I’d want for my birthday. It’s hilarious and probably more useful than half the tech manuals I’ve read.”

X017’s optics flickered faintly. “Your reaction indicates satisfaction. This is… pleasing.”

Jim leaned back, holding the book in one hand. “You know, X, for a robot, you’ve got a real knack for human stuff.”

“Correction,” X017 said, “I am a cybernetic individual.”

“Right,” Jim replied, smirking. “A cybernetic individual who just gave me the best birthday gift ever. Thanks, X.”

“Appreciation acknowledged,” X017 replied, seeming satisfied.